Stanley

I never thought I would live to see the day that I would not be able to depend on the Greens. The whole world must have ended because this is not the town where I grew up. First, Gracie turns into some kind of a greedy extortionist. Now, I've got Mayor and Mrs. Green trying to take my crops away.

What happened to everybody? Where did the people I thought I knew go? If everything I have ever been sure of in my life can slip into nothing so quickly, what hope do any of us have of making it through this? I have always been able to go to them for help. Anything I have ever needed has always been ask and receive. When things got really tough, I knew I would always be able to go to them. It looks like I was wrong about that. I haven't been greedy about it, I never abused it, but I always knew it was an option. I never even went to them about the tax trouble. I knew that that was my hole, and I had to find my own way out of it. This is different. No matter what we thought before, we have never had things get really tough. Now I'm not a friend, I'm not an almost adopted child, and I'm not even a member of the community. I'm just some fields that they think they can confiscate.

What did I do? I know I used to pull some stupid stunts. I know I haven't always made the best choices. What am I being punished for? Why is everything coming down on me? I've tried to do a good job with Bonnie. I've tried to put her first. I've always tried to help the neighbors out whenever I can. I've always tried to be a good guy. What did I do that brought this on? If the government still exists, the IRS will eventually take our farm. If they don't, no help is coming. Which means that crop is the only way I have to make sure that Bonnie is taken care of. That crop is being eaten by worms this very minute, and I can't stop it. I wasn't asking for charity. I tried to offer Gracie a fair price. If I use her to save the crop, it's gone. If I use the town for help, it's gone. Either way I'm left with no way to take care of my sister.

This is not happening. I did not just get told that my word wasn't good enough. People I have known my entire life did not just accuse me of being a thief. Me! Bill did not just search my barn for stolen property. Don't tell me it's your job. You know me. I thought I knew you. I thought I knew this whole town. But, I guess I don't. I guess I don't know any of them. I guess Bonnie really is all I have.

Dale

They are all jerks. It's like they don't even realize that the world we used to live in doesn't exist anymore. They think that they are still the cool kids who can walk all over everybody else and do whatever they want and no one will stop them. I'm sick of it. The police don't care - nobody cares. Everyone is just on their own now. I'm just going to have to take care of things myself. Where do they think their families would be if this store wasn't here? I don't see any of them getting off their backsides and trying to fix anything.

. . .

I didn't mean for it to go this far. I just needed help. I just needed someone I knew could keep his mouth shut. I didn't think I was going to end up in the middle of all this. He wants to hurt Jake. If he thought he could get away with it, he would kill him. He could actually do it. He wouldn't care. It wouldn't matter to him. He wouldn't worry about anything except getting caught. How did I get here? I gotta think of something. At least I can keep Sean from helping. It's about time the police decided they care about what has been going on.

. . .

I am in so much trouble. What do I do now? What does she think she is doing trying to bail me out with a credit card that doesn't even work? But, she is trying. She's worried about me. She really does care. He cares too. He meant everything he said. He is actually trying to help. Maybe we aren't all on our own. The Mitchell plan was a bad idea. I'm smart enough to admit that. I started this when I went to him for help. I am not going to be able to get away from working with him without help. So, it is up to me to fix this. It's time to start talking.

Mary

How pathetic have I become? I am practically trying to lick information out of his brother's hand, and I think he knows what I'm doing. It's like being in junior high school and begging your best friend to talk to his best friend to see if he thinks you are cute. Only that was children playing around. We are adults. This isn't about some dance or getting to hold hands with someone on the school bus. This is about my life and where it is or is not going. I hate this. I hate that he hasn't been here. I hate that I haven't seen him. I hate what this has reduced me to. I hate that I let him do this to me again. Mostly, I hate that I still want him to come back.

. . .

He finally shows his face, and it is in an official capacity. Look at him - he doesn't even want to talk to me. He is only here because he has to be. So, if the horses hadn't gotten stolen, he just would have ignored me indefinitely. Is that what is going on here? I'm supposed to believe all these things that you are saying to me? I'm supposed to let you pull me in with all the pretty words one more time. That is all it ever is with you. It is always words. It is never action. It's always someday or I'm confused or it's more complicated than you can understand. I understand. I understand that you expect me to wait around for you because you tell me that it will be worth it someday. I have heard it too many times before. You have given me endless variations on the same theme, but you never back it up. I have thought you were going to a hundred different times, but it never really happens. What am I supposed to do with that?

Mimi

Desperate times call for desperate measures. I am actually being very kind by offering him this opportunity to make good on his debts to the government. I am not begging for a place to stay. I am committing a charitable act. Yes, that is exactly what this is. I just have to get him to see that. It should be easy enough. I am a very persuasive person. If I can just keep myself from throttling him every time he uses that annoying nickname, then this should prove to be a mutually beneficial business relationship.

. . .

I thought I worked with some ruthless people. They have got nothing on this woman. What does she think she is doing? Are there not laws about gauging in emergency situations? I was almost positive that there was. This is just ludicrous. When this is all over, that woman is so going to be getting an audit.

. . .

Clearly, my assessment of this man's business acumen was accurate. I have stood quietly by and watched while he pursued all his avenues of "friends help each other out" today. He got nothing. It is time for someone who knows how to get things done to handle this situation. It's a basic question of balancing risk with potential gain. He needs pesticides. He can't get them by fair means in the market. It's time to move on to the perhaps not fair but necessary means. This situation calls for everyone looking after their own best interests.

. . .

I should not miss it. It is broken after all. It will never tell time again. It should not be a big deal to give it up. So what if it was a really nice watch, and I worked really hard to get it. It is just a nonfunctional piece of junk now. This is more important. It is. Just take it off. Hand it to the obnoxious little street punk who doesn't really have any idea what it is actually worth. Don't think about the shopping day with Mom when you picked it out. Just hand it over and walk away. Keep walking. Good girl.

. . .

They are all out here helping, and they aren't planning on getting anything out of it. What alternate universe have I stumbled upon? People don't actually do things like this, do they? He couldn't possibly be serious, could he? He might actually be. Oh, my goodness. I'm going to be picking corn. That was most definitely not on my list of things to experience before I die.

Gail

They are in trouble. Anyone with eyes can see that. He hasn't voluntarily exchanged half a dozen words with her in the past two weeks. I know that everything has been stressful lately, but this looks like it has been going on for some time. Why didn't I see that? I should have noticed something. They have both been here right in front of me this whole time, and I never realized that they were drifting away from each other. How did I miss that? Was I spending too much time worrying over Jake? Was I ignoring my other child because his problems weren't as obvious? I can't change that, but I can do something about it now. He is going to try to shut me out. He was always better at that than Jake was. He's not new here - he should know that I am not going to give up that easily.

I will just have to start with April. Hard to reach? That is probably an accurate assessment. None of them are very big on letting other people behind their walls. They like to think they have to carry the whole world on their shoulders. It takes work to get past that. I should know. I have done it with Johnston. Just being married for years doesn't make that level of trust and dependence happen. It takes work and patience and being willing to hang in there long enough for him to know that you really believe in what the two of you are building together. All three of them share that part of their character. Johnston and I didn't get here easily. You and Eric aren't going to get there easily either. You are strong enough to fight for it, honey. You just have to have the perseverance and look past the obstacles he is going to put up in your way. He will open up eventually. I didn't raise my boys to be quitters. If he remembers that and you keep trying, then the two of you can fix this.

. . .

I know he hates this. It was always easier to take care of the boys when they were sick at the same time than it was trying to deal with their sick father. He is an atrocious patient - the kind we used to argue over whose turn it was to check on in the hospital. You know you are not going to win this argument, but I know your pride won't let you not have it. You can rant and rave all you want, but we both know that you will not be leaving this house. Why are they all so short sighted? There he is thinking that it is just awful that he isn't in the office handling the crisis of the moment. I know that if he doesn't take care of himself now there won't be any more handling of things ever. Eric is jumping from moment to moment only seeing that he needs to step in for his father and keep the town going right now. I see that he is shutting out his wife in the process and teetering on the edge of losing something more important than keeping up the citation writing paperwork.

Then, there is Jake. All he sees is what he has been doing. All he sees is who he thinks he is right now. He doesn't see who he is becoming. He doesn't see who I know he can be in a year, five years, or twenty years from now. I guess that is why God didn't create us to live our lives alone. We need other people to help us with our perspectives. I am here to keep Johnston on track. April can learn to work with Eric. Who does Jake have? He knows what I think. He has always known, and I think he has appreciated knowing. But I think he is going past the point where I can be his rock. He needs someone to help him see farther ahead than the next moment. He needs someone to help him see that there is a future beyond the next moment. It needs to be someone who he knows is there because she wants to be - not someone he can write off as having to think the best of him because she is his mother.

. . .

He is slipping. I don't know what all has gone on that has brought him to this point but he is barely clinging to the edge today. I haven't seen him this close to giving in to his demons in years. I'm scared for him. I'm scared that he isn't going to be able to see that there is a future on his own. I'm scared that he is never going to let anyone in to help him see it. I'm scared that if he doesn't he is going to fall back into a pit that he won't be able to climb out of this time. I'm scared for Eric. I'm scared that someday all that pressure that he puts on himself to be the "good child" is going to make him crack. I'm scared that he is going to push April farther away than she is willing to fight back from being. I'm scared that when he finally sorts himself out enough to put his priorities in order that it will be too late for him to get back the things that matter most. I'm scared for Johnston. I'm scared that he is getting worse instead of getting better. I'm scared that April is more worried than she is telling me. I'm scared that we are now living in a world where something as simple as the flu can become so serious so fast. I think I have spent enough time over the past few days being scared.

It is time to find something that I can fix. Dale needs someone to step in with him. He may think that everything that has happened has made him an adult, but he is still a kid. He should be allowed to be one. He needs to know that someone is looking out for him. He needs to know that someone cares. He needs to know that someone is going to step in and knock him back on the right path when he starts to slide off of it. Gracie is apparently a little too wrapped up in her own concerns to be paying attention to what he is getting himself into at present. I can help there. Sean needs something. I don't know what is going on with that boy or his family, but he is getting out of control. Someone needs to squash that before it gets out of hand. We do not need any Mitchell Cafferties in the making. He needs a chance to see a different path to take, and he is not going to get that sitting in that jail cell. I can help with that. There is also Stanley. I think everything has piled up on him all at once. He is confused and worried and scared of being worried. He needs to be reminded that he isn't on his own here either. I can make that happen - in fact, I can probably make all three of those things happen at the same time. It will be a start anyway. Simple plans generally work the best.

Jake

Where did that come from? That is not the Dale Turner I remember. He can't just take matters into his own hands like that. He is going to get himself in trouble trying. Fine, if the proper authorities can't handle it, then I will handle it. Doesn't he have enough sense to know when he needs help? I don't know what that little interplay with that Henthorn kid was, but it can't have been good. I know his kind. He is trouble waiting to happen. Scratch that, he is the type that is not going to wait for it. He is going to go looking. I should know. I've been there. If Dale is getting mixed up with him, there is no where for him to go but down. Somebody needs to talk to him. I can't do it. Talk about the proverbial pot and kettle.

. . .

Does she think she is being subtle, because she's not. I should just leave because this is too weird. I don't know exactly what is going on here, but I have seen enough to know that somebody - probably a couple of somebodies - are going to get hurt before it is all over. I do not want to be having this conversation. Why don't you just talk to Eric and leave me out of it? I do not want to be in the middle of whatever this is. Just stop trying to pump me for information. Mitchell. I could have gone through the rest of my life quite happily without ever having to deal with him again. Don't start with me. I am not in the mood today. I just need to walk away. That's what Mom would tell me to do. I don't need to reopen old problems; we have enough new ones. There he pops up again - Hawkins. He is really just a little to everywhere at just the right moment. I don't care how many times you swoop in with the right answer or a solution to the problem at hand. I still don't trust you.

. . .

I was right there, and she still got hurt. She probably got hurt because I was right there. She could have been killed. It was no coincidence that I had a run-in with Mitchell this morning and our ranch got hit this afternoon. It had to be him. He did it to get to me. Well, he got to me all right. This is what he wanted, wasn't it? To piss me off so I would come after him? Then, we can have some little show down on his terms? Fine. We'll play it his way. This is what happens when I try to take the high road. This is what happens when I try to act like I'm one of the good guys. Other people get hurt. A good guy isn't going to take care of this problem the way it needs to be taken care of. I will. When was the last time I punched a wall? I hate this. He hurt her because of me. Can't you understand that? I can't just let that go. I caused the problem; I fix the problem. That's the way this works.

. . .

I still don't trust you, but I do think you know what you are doing. Getting Mitchell is more important right now than the fact that I still haven't figured out what you are up to, so I'm going to ask for help. We can stand around and play going through the proper channels all day. That isn't going to stop people like Mitchell. They don't care. You can't reason with someone who doesn't care. It doesn't work. If he gets by with this, he's going to come back. He will keep coming back until there is nothing left to take. That's how his kind operates. He will keep pushing until someone pushes back harder. We have to stop this now while we still can. I have to stop this.

. . .

Don't think you are getting away that easily. Did you really think that Eric would come out here looking for you by himself? Idiot. Scumbag. That's for blaming me for Chris like you don't have any share in that responsibility. That's for stealing from my family. That's for endangering my mother. That's for dragging her into your stupid head games with me. That's for trying to pull Dale and any of those other kids into your messed up little world. That's for hiding supplies from the town. That's for preying on people who can't fight back.

. . .

Eric shouldn't have pulled me off of him. He should have let me finish it. Look at her. She's terrified, and it's because of me. It's because of what I'm saying. I just couldn't hold it together today. I tried. I was just so angry. I couldn't keep myself under control. I wanted to hurt him. I really tried to be a better person. Maybe I just can't be. Maybe I'm just not capable. Emily was right. I'm not safe. I'm never going to be better. I'm never going to escape from this. It's all always going to be there lurking in the background waiting to pull me back under.

April

Why does it have to be so hard? Gail would probably tell me that anything worth having always is. That makes the question one of whether I think we are worth the effort. I don't think - I know we are. She's right. I have to be willing to fight. I am, but what if he's not? There are two of us in this marriage, and we have to work together. Why doesn't he see that I am trying? I am so tired of feeling helpless. I am so tired of feeling like I am banging my head against a brick wall. I can only do so much here. I am trying so hard. Don't you want us back as badly as I do? Why can't I figure you out anymore? I used to be able to look at you and know exactly what you were thinking. When did we lose that? How did we lose that? Don't you want it to come back? Can't you remember how happy we used to be? You won't even look at me. How am I supposed to fight for us when you are always trying to run away? Give me something here Eric, please? We have got to find some place to start. If you aren't even willing to try, what am I going to do? I don't want to give up on us. I need us. You used to need us. Do you remember that? Maybe you do. The walk home is a starting point. We can go from there. We can build on that. It may not be a lot, but it is a crack in the brick wall. If you will just let me in, then we can make this work.

Allison

I cannot believe I was actually believing that he really wanted to be with us again. I was really starting to think that he cared about us and that he wanted us to be a real family. I was starting to trust him. I guess this is what I get for being stupid. I knew better. I remembered what he was like, and I still decided to let him have another chance. Look at this place. He knew the bombs were going to happen. He knew all those people were going to die. He knew it. Don't try to con me again. I'm not going to fall for it a second time. Tell me the truth. I'll know if you're not. Don't try to play nice with me. Don't act all concerned fatherish. You knew. All those cities are gone. All those people are dead, and you knew it was coming. Why did you even come to get us? So we could pretend to be a happy family, and you could blend in with all the normal people. So you could look like everyone else who didn't know that half the country was going to be obliterated? You told me if I messed up again, I would find out what it was like to be really scared. Well, I'm really scared now. I'm scared of you.

. . .

We have never done anything together before. You have never taught me how to do anything. It was always Mom. This is what you decide it's important for you to pass on to me? Shooting things? Other kids spend time with their parents learning how to ride a bike or playing soccer. You want me to bond with you over firing a gun. In case I need to protect myself, you say. Like it is supposed to make me feel better to be told that I live in a world where I might need to shoot somebody? Oh, I'll learn. I'll have to. We can't depend on you. Somebody needs to be able to take care of us - and by us I mean Mom, Sam, and me.

Mitchell

Jakey Green is back in town. That is a good piece of information to have. I'm sure I know some people who will want to hear that little tidbit of gossip. You learn the most useful things in bars. I knew he didn't get caught in the blast. Not our Jakey. He always knows exactly when it is time to run away. Look who is playing like he is above me - like he is too good to step up and take a swing at me. We both know better than that. I don't care what part you are playing; I know what is in that head of yours. There will be another time, and there won't be anyone around to save your sorry self. I know how to bide my time Jakey boy. It's a life skill you learn in prison. Someday it is going to be just you and me. I can hardly wait.

. . .

I knew you would come running - family honor and all that. You are so predictable. If it were up to me, I would beat you to a bloody pulp. I might even get a little carried away. It wouldn't be my fault if you just weren't tough enough to take it. It's too bad that Jonah doesn't want us attracting unnecessary attention. He is still the boss - for the moment. Besides, these kids would probably flip out. We can't have that now, can we? I might need them for something later. You and I will just have to have another time for settling up. I am still waiting for the day when it is just the two of us. There's the mouth I remember. I knew our Jakey was in there somewhere. I knew he would come out to play eventually. We just had to find the right game to tempt him.

. . .

This isn't over. You and I both know that it doesn't end like this. You and I both know that I will be out of here quicker than you can hot wire a car. You will still be in town; you can't go anywhere. You can't run away this time. You are stuck right here with the rest of us. I will find you, and we will finish this. We will really finish this. Well, that is if he doesn't finish you first. I wouldn't mind - not as long as I get to watch. Oh, Jakey boy, you are in for some fun times. Like I said, I can hardly wait.

Back to Stanley

I'm desperate, okay. I have to do something. I can't just let it all go. Why am I even trying to talk to her? She has nothing to do with this. This isn't her home. This isn't her family. This isn't her future. She is just the evil IRS agent. She is the reason that my farm got searched for stolen property today. I should have turned her in to the police. That is exactly what I should have done. Being a nice guy has gotten me nowhere. I should just stop.

. . .

They came. They all came. All of them from the Greens down to Gracie Leigh are all here to help me. Just to help. Not to get anything out of it. They are the people that I thought they were. They just forgot it for a little while. We are going to be okay. We can work this out. The world isn't over - my world isn't over. We aren't all on our own. These are still the people that I grew up with, and they are still people that I can depend on when I need them. We can make it through this. We just have to do it together. My friends are still my friends. The Greens are still the Greens. And Uncle Sam is wearing work boots and picking corn - that's just icing on the day.