A Chaotic Wedding

Aimee

Part 4

He always knew an idiot like him would find a way to ruin everything sooner or later, but never had he guessed out of all the days in his worthless life it's on their wedding day that he was finally going to end up losing her completely.

Actually he was surprised that she didn't slap him yet. He deserved it. No. He deserved worse. He deserved to be flogged heavily with a leather scourge. He deserved to be paraded through the streets and hung on a gibbet for public viewing. He deserved to eat every dish he had made which was quite possible to be poisonous judging by its terrible look and even more terrible smell.

She didn't say anything to him after she angrily threw her pin at his stupid head. Instead she stood there, glowering at him with tears in her eyes and a determined look on her face, as if daring him to open his mouth again.

He really dare not to open his stupid mouth. He was too afraid to do anything other than silently praying to every god, wishing she was not upset enough to call off their wedding.

Deep in his heart, he knew she had every right to doubt him after what he had put her through, but he couldn't help being the hypocritical bastard who accused her of betraying him only to cover his fear that she might still hate him a little for what he had done a long time ago. They say time would finally erase everything. But he knew better. His guilt was always there for the last few years they shared, and occasionally it would turn into fear of losing her again.

After they got engaged, especially in the last two months, sometimes he would woke up at midnight, panting because of the nightmare he'd just had in which she left him, or was taken away from him by someone invisible. There was even once that he dreamt her being cursed by some evil witch who claimed a person like him didn't deserve to be loved, and since she loved him, she should be dead.

Every time he broke into a cold sweat and held her tighter. Only in this way could he calm down and catch his breath again. She was the best thing that ever happened to him, and he could not bear losing her, not again.

However, here he was, head hung low with shame and fear, lips sealed. He knew he should say something, not to defend himself, but to admit what a stupid jerk he was, apologize to her and beg her not to abandon him because of this silly drama.

But he could not. When he finally summoned all his courage to look at her, he really wanted to kill himself slowly and painfully right here right now. her beautiful eyes were flooded with tears, and there were red hand marks on her arms where he'd just held.

He wished she could do something. Yell at him, slap him, kick him, or stamp her high heels on his feet with her full strength. He could take anything she thought fit willingly, as long as she keeps her promise and marries him.

His mouth opened, then closed, then opened again. "Blair." He choked out, "I'm sorry."

The apology sounded lame, but he couldn't come up with a more creative one. He was so afraid of what would happen next that all of his wit and intelligence seemed gone.

Finally, she sat down on the sofa. Her expression was still unreadable. He decided it was a good sign. At least she was here listening to him, not running away.

He knelt down before her, leaving soft kisses on her knees, then laps. "I'm stupid, and ridiculous. And I'm sorry." He mumbled against her fairytale wedding gown.

She didn't respond. So he took advantage of this and picked up both of her hands and kissed her delicate fingers.

"I'm sorry I'm a jealous ass." He said, "But I love you."

Those three words eight letters used to be his magic. Every time he said it, she became soft no matter how mad she was at that time. He could only pray to God now that the line could also save his sorry ass this time.

When they first began dating, there were so many people out there, waiting curiously to see him cheating on her and her leaving him finally. When they let them down and got engaged, those people turned to make bets on how long their marriage would survive. He wanted to yell at them so much, because the divorce paper would never be signed even over his dead body. He loved her and would spend his whole life with her. Why couldn't those people have a little faith in him?

How ironic. He thought. He couldn't believe those evil people were right. No. Actually they had more faith in him than they should since they thought Blair and he would get married first. Now he might not even have the chance to. Their marriage might never happen. That horrible realization made him scared to death.

Nate once said he was an expert in apologizing, but he wasn't. he didn't know what to do now to make sure the wedding he'd been waiting so long still goes as planned.

tbc

AN. One chap left. And as always, hope you enjoy.

BTW I love your reviews. They're quite encouraging.