Chapter 4: Poena Dare
"Misaki..." Usami grumbled and pulled his fourth cigarette of the hour from its pack. Misaki's call had stressed him out and he assumed Misaki was off with that Keichii Sumi classmate of his. After the last... incident, Usami wanted Misaki to have nothing to do with the vile man. Usami had driven to Sumi's house and demanded Misaki back but was shocked to know Sumi hadn't seen him. Outside of Sumi, Usami wasn't sure that Misaki had any other friends from the University. He'd given a call to Kamijou to see if he knew who Misaki had left with, but in the end Usami had been given no information to Misaki's whereabouts. Misaki was still sick too and had no business being out of bed, let alone out of the house.
Usami threw himself on his back against the couch and stared up at the ceiling before he tried Misaki's cell phone again. The brat had turned his cell phone off and Usami's annoyance was turning into a form of subtle anger. He vowed that if Misaki wasn't back by dinner time that he'd go out looking for him.
Hours later when their usual dinner time arrived, Usami was still on the couch with his phone in his hands. He tried Misaki's number one more time before he was pulling his coat and shoes on to look for Misaki. He stepped outside of the door just in time to see Misaki staggering down the hallway.
"Misaki... where were you?" Worry was etched all over Usami's face.
Misaki wanted to break down and cry. He wanted to tell him everything about what Takehiko had done to him. Instead he did the only thing he could think of and he lashed out at Usami in anger.
"I told you, I was out with a friend!" Misaki snapped. He tried to keep his face to the floor and his sleeves pulled down so Usami wouldn't see the cuts and bruises that covered him from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet and everywhere in between.
"I was worried about you." Usami gave a grunt of frustration. He grabbed Misaki by the arm but let him go when Misaki let out a cry of pain. Panic raced through Usami and he pulled Misaki inside the apartment. "Misaki, what's wrong? Look at me." Usami commanded softly and stuck a hand out to pull Misaki's face up to be seen.
"Nothing! Go away! Stop touching me!" Misaki yelled and pulled himself away. "No, I can't let him see; I can't let him touch me. He can't know..." Misaki thought to himself.
"Misaki, what the hell happened to your face?" There were several small bruises and cuts with a large split on Misaki's lip. Different scenarios flashed through his mind and so help him if someone had hit Misaki, he'd kill them.
"I fell down the stairs at school! Leave me alone. I'm tired. I'm going to bed!" Misaki spat out and stomped away from Usami. He'd only gotten a couple of steps before Usami's arms were around his waist and he was being crushed into Usami's embrace. His whole body erupted into pain and instead of screaming in pain, he masked the screams of pain with angry words instead.
"Stop fucking around! I said leave me alone! I don't want to see you, so just go away!" Misaki didn't want to see Usami's face; he didn't want to see the pain he knew he had caused him. The words he had spat out were exactly the opposite of what he wanted. In his mind he was screaming, "Hold me and don't let go. Don't let anyone else touch me ever again. Let me know it's okay; tell me I'm not worthless now. Tell me I'm not just an object. Tell me you love me..."
"Misaki, you've still got a cold, you shouldn't be running around." Usami was confused and he wasn't quite sure what was going on. The argument at breakfast couldn't of been that bad, but maybe Misaki had a fever and was spouting out nonsense because of it.
"Shut up! I hate you. You... you... Bakahiko!" Misaki told himself he could keep strong enough to save Usami and Kamijou. He just needed to drive Usami away from him and make him hate him instead of love him. If Usami could hate him, then Usami would be safe.
"Wait, Misaki. Misaki!" Usami chased after Misaki, but Misaki managed to slam the bathroom door shut and lock it before Usami could get in. Misaki stood there with his back against the door until he finally heard Usami stomp away and slam his bedroom door. With a shaky breath and a muffled cry of pain, Misaki made his way to the shower.
The sound of the water drowned out Misaki's tears and the soft cries of pain from the water stinging against his cuts. He tried to wash away the memory of what he'd done and the way that man's hands felt on his body. He scrubbed his skin near raw and stayed under the water until in ran cold like ice cubes against his flesh. He scrubbed the bathroom down to hide the blood and stashed his clothes in his bedroom so Usami couldn't find them. He tore strips of his t-shirt into bandages to wrap around his wounds. They were all mostly superficial except for the large gouge on the side of his waist. He could deal with that on his own; going to the hospital would be just as bad as telling Usami what had happened. Instead he hid the wound well and locked his door so he could keep Usami from finding out.
Three weeks had passed since the incident and Misaki had arrived home a little later each night. Usami and Misaki were drifting apart further and further. It was a daily effort for Misaki to keep Takehiko's vicious beatings a secret. At least Takehiko had been nice enough to keep himself from hitting Misaki's face again. Over the weeks Misaki had grown thin and barely ate.
"Misaki, be careful!" Usami ushered and reached out to inspect the damage to Misaki's hand. Misaki had been spacing out and burnt his hand on the dinner he was cooking. Usami's heart nearly shattered in two when Misaki flinched away from his touch as if terrified or repulsed. Usami was worried about more than just a surface burn on his hand. Ever since the night Misaki had caught his cold, he hadn't seemed to get better at all, but instead seemed to get worse. He looked flushed and feverish but Usami had no way of telling how sick Misaki was. He thought about knocking Misaki out and dragging him to the hospital but decided against the violence in the end.
"Dinner is ready..." Misaki whispered softly. He set only enough food for Usami down; he still didn't have much of an appetite.
"Do I repulse you, Misaki?" Usami asked.
Misaki wanted to tell Usami that he was repulsed with himself for agreeing to become that man's plaything. If Usami held him, he knew he would tell him everything. He couldn't let Usami or Kamijou down, so in the end he opted to ignore Usami's statement.
"I'll make you some coffee." Misaki mumbled. There was a loud noise and sudden movement from Usami shoving himself to his feet. It startled Misaki into dropping the coffee pot. He tried to catch it before it hit the ground but the shattering of glass echoed in his ears and tiny shards surrounded his feet. He immediately dropped down to his knees to pick up the mess.
"You idiot! Don't move, you'll get cut!" Usami shouted. Panic and guilt filled Usami when Misaki jumped at his shouting and managed to slice his hand open on a shard of glass.
"I'm fine! Go away! I can handle this myself. I don't need you!" Misaki lashed back. He ignored his hand but jumped when Usami grabbed his wrist. He struggled to break free from Usami's hold but Usami still managed to tear a piece of his shirt off and wrap it around Misaki's hand.
"You're not fine! You're sick and you keep coming home later and later every night. Your clothes are always messed up when you get back and you don't think I smell it on you? Misaki, are you seeing someone behind my back?" Usami had finally said what he'd been thinking for weeks. He didn't want to think or admit that Misaki might be cheating on him, but with the way he was acting there was nothing left for Usami to think.
Misaki didn't answer immediately. He knew if he said no that he'd have to find some other excuse to push Usami away. He knew if he said yes, Usami would finally hate him and Misaki would be able to keep him safe. Takehiko never ceased to hold it above Misaki's head that he could ruin both Usami and Kamijou's lives. With that thought in mind and with tears in his eyes, Misaki answered the single word that would shatter his heart forever.
"Yes..."
A harsh realization came to Usami's eyes. His whole body began to tremble and he simply stared in anger at Misaki. How could Misaki be keeping this a secret from him? Usami hadn't wanted to think he had been thrown away by the one he truly loved, but it was true. In his anger, Usami spoke words he knew he didn't mean.
"Get out. Get the hell out and never come back..."
Hahaha. Oops! Edited for some typos. On to writing chapter 5! :D
