A.N.- Writing this chapter was like shitting a melon. Not a nice small Galia, but one of those fucking massive Watermelons. Problem is, I think it might stink as well.

I've tried to polish this turd as much as I can but frankly, I got a little bored with it. I wanna move on to the better, upcoming stuff. So I'm leaving it for now. I hope it doesn't put you off the story.

Also, if anyone is interested in being a beta for this please pm me.

Chapter 5

Orochimaru sensei engaged us in light conversation as we made our way to his house. Our nervousness dropped away as he roused debate on the most bizarre subjects. I found myself laughing even as I insisted that given infinite time, a dog would learn to juggle before a cat. Even Sasuke couldn't resist being included in the conversation. Some of Orochimaru sensei's questions seemed so silly and yet others seemed to hold hidden tests.

Within no time, we arrived at a surprisingly modest looking house with ample grounds. Only on entering was it apparent that its' owner held a position affording them the greater luxuries in life. I had expected to be greeted by a family or maybe even a house girl, but the home appeared to be empty.

Carefully lighting sconces along the hallway our sensei welcomed us to his home, explaining that he preferred using firelight to electrical bulbs. He walked the three of us into a beautiful room with sheer lace curtains surrounding the walls. The lace, together with the deep red floor and dark wood furnishings, made the room very comforting.

We sat on a giant sofa circling half the room, making ourselves comfortable whilst our sensei lit candles and incense. After he was satisfied with the room, he left us with the promise of libation.

The second he left Sakura launched into a spiel about how awesome it would be to be taught by one of the Sannin. She made sure to iterate how cool he was,

"Even though I thought he was something from one of my nightmares at first."

I was a little more reserved in expressing my glee, but I couldn't help but agree.


Thirty minutes later saw the four of us in a relaxed atmosphere playing a casual game of poker, sipping drinks. We weren't playing for money, instead each time one of us lost we had to answer a personal question decided by the winner. The only thing our sensei demanded was that we were completely honest in our answers- though we retained the right to refuse a question. The mood stayed light and friendly.I was certain that our sensei deliberately lost the most frequently. He was far more willing to give information about himself than we were. He appeared to be completely unflappable, answering any question we threw at him.

"Yes, I have begged for my life. The last time I had to do it was more recently than you might imagine." Orochimaru answered.

I remained silent, stopping myself from asking just how recently.

"Really! How recently?" I cracked a smile. You could always trust Sakura to cut through the bullshit and get to the balls of a matter -etiquette be damned.

"Eleven years ago, actually" he said, unfazed as ever.

"What? That can't be right. You would have been in your prime; who the hell could make you beg for your life?"

This time he graced the three of us with a smile and said,

"Now, now. Naruto won the game and I have already answered his question. Plus, I'm still shocked that you have so little compunctions detailing your sexual activity, yet you won't tell us if you dye your hair."

She just rolled her eyes and corrected, "Sexual inactivity you mean."

A few light-hearted rounds later, Orochimaru sensei got up and started clearing the table, waving off our offers of help. When he returned he wore a serious expression and carried in his right hand a folder. Instantly sensing a change in mood, he effortlessly garnered our attention. Seating himself, he said,

"Well I think that we have all gotten to know each other relatively well and that has been entirely deliberate on my part."

It was unsurprising; his attempts to get us to open up to each other had been transparent (though still successful).

"You need to understand that in a combatant cell the bond between teammates is the single most important thing. You will all need to instinctively trust each other with your lives, but until you can do that, you will need to trust me." All humour had fled his face and he delivered his words as if they were the single most important things we would hear.

He paused for a moment to watch for our reactions. There was a long, awkward moment, with the three of us unsure of how to react to the statement. Suddenly, Orochimaru's whole presence transformed as his face twisted in anger.

"Even as I say that, I can see you aren't taking my words seriously!"

My heart rate jumped at the sudden swing in attitude. The last three hours had allowed me to become relatively accustomed to our sensei unsettling appearance. Looking at his face twisted in sudden anger served as a plain reminder of just who this man was.

Orochimaru sensei closed his eyes and took a very deliberate, calming breath. I used the opportunity to glance at Sakura, whose face mirrored the confusion I felt.

"Okay, I want the three of you to close your eyes with me." When he spoke again he sounded calm and collected. We all complied, though I remained a little wary of our sensei's sudden anger.

"I want you all to imagine that you are on a normal c-rank mission where the three of you are asked to escort a messenger carrying a flash drive between a lab and a corporate building."

It was easy to imagine the scenario. I had read many journals vaguely describing similar missions. Not wanting to further anger our sensei, I did my best to visualise the mission.

We would have left the hidden village in total silence. We would have made our way through the forest, careful not to leave any disturbance that would allow an enemy to find our hidden home. We would have travelled to the main city Hanema, Land of three of us would be excited at finally viewing a city so different from our own. Where the hidden villagers stuck to tradition designed to foster excellence, the city would be all about convenience and excess. We would see skyscrapers, cars, trains and televisions. Everywhere there would be a distraction. With our hard-learnt focus, we would tune all these out and concentrate on the skinny lab tech carrying the flash drive.

We would insist he walk the 2 miles from the lab to the corporation headquarters, citing that all other modes of transport were less defensible. Even as I pictured the surroundings, I could hear our sensei's voice elaborating on the story.

"A second corporation wants this flash drive and have managed to buy information on the mission. They know your leaving time and an idea of your skill sets. They set up an ambush, and knowing your party size the second corporation decides to overwhelm you with numbers. "

I frowned for a moment, starting to glimpse what our sensei was getting at. In the scenario painted, any enemy ninja would be under strict orders not to kill the lab technician; they would only rob the flash drive. On the other hand, we were shinobi and thus the enemy had carte blanche when dealing with the "real" world Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura and Uchiha Sasuke did not truly exist. We could be well known in the correct circles but they would never be any paper trail. No birth certificate and there would certainly never be a death certificate either.

"You end up fighting superior numbers for your life. As you fight, you realize that if even one of you falls the remaining two will be overcome. You may be able to trust your own skills but your life will not depend on them. Your life will depend on the skills of your team mates."

"In this scenario if you don't trust your team mates skills you will overstretch yourself trying to take on too many enemies at once, or trying to finish a fight too quickly. Without trust you will become injured yourself, dooming the other team mates you thought lesser than you."

"There are thousands of different variations on that, you could be keeping an eye on a team mate during the battle because you want to protect them."

"You could suspect a team mate of selling you out and be distracted watching them for betrayal."

"You will need to trust that I will not send you on a mission your team isn't ready for. You need to trust that I will improve you and your teammates' skills to the point that you can effortlessly trust them to protect your back. You will need to have true faith in the competence of your teammates."

A silent moment from our Sensei let us know that he had finished illustrating his point and we opened our eyes again. The whole speech sent warning bells in my mind. Just earlier today, I had made a promise that I would watch out for Sakura- simply because I did not believe she was ready. What I should have been promising was to make sure she was ready.

The parts about trying to do everything yourself was clearly aimed at Sasuke. It was plain to me that he viewed himself as better than either Sakura or I. It wasn't overt arrogance, but I had painstakingly memorised tome after tome on body language. I had noted his hidden confusion at me being giving a combatant role, but I had squashed the maelstrom of emotions it triggered in me in favour of enjoying my graduation ceremony. I tried to convince myself that my rolling stomach was just anger at the arrogant shit. I deserved this position; my handicap didn't matter.

Orochimaru-sensei continued speaking after a moment,

"The simple fact is- trust is based on truth. You will need to believe in your heart that my only interest in you is protecting your lives, nurturing your skills and helping you attain your goals. If you don't truly believe that you will start to rely on yourselves."

"Now if I am supposed to reasonably expect your trust, it is only fair that you know who I am." With this proclamation, he silently handed each of us a bundle of stapled forms which we begun to read.

A moment later my head shot up,

"This is an A class information release form" I said in shock. I left out the question,

Why the fuck are three fresh Gennin being asked to sign one?

There was an odd smile on Orochimaru sensei's lips as he responded,

"You may not be aware but it has been a long time since I took on any students. When I agreed to become your sensei, I had one stipulation."

I wondered what concession the Hokage would have made in order to get one of the Sannin to take on pupils.

"I insisted that I be able to draw from the good and bad choices I have made in my life. Some of the most important lessons I have learnt have been the product of the worst decisions in my life. I want you three to understand where I went wrong. If I am to take on students again, I want to be sure they don't walk the path that nearly destroyed me."

His words were followed by a very heavy silence. It was immediately apparent that whatever we were about to be told was very serious. Feeling a little awkward about meeting our sensei's eye after that statement, I focused on the release form.

It was essentially a gag order. I was actually a little surprised at how plain the wording in the form was. I had always expected an important document like this would be filled with legalese. Instead, what I read was plain and simple.

We would have to be in the confines of a level 4 privacy seal array or higher when the information was given.

We were never to discuss the information with anyone, including parties who already knew.

Failure to comply would be punished by death. If we spread the information to a non-vetted person, they would either be killed or undergo a memory purging.

That sent a small shiver up my spine. Many considered a memory purging worse than death. The process destroyed every memory a person had. It left the person with the same capabilities of a newborn baby. Worse still, the person usually remained that way until death.I spent a moment considering refusing to sign the form. I discarded the notion almost immediately. I couldn't complain that my career was advancing faster than I anticipated. Decision made, I flipped the paper over and saw the circular sealing array inked on the back. Gathering some chakra into my fingertips, I placed my hand in the centre of the array and prepared myself.

Instantly I felt a sensation like a part of my mind was being sucked along a tube of light. With dizzying twists and turns, I felt the sealing array come alive.

I had always been especially sensitive to seals. If I was near enough on its activation, it almost felt like they were a part of my nervous system. It made understanding how they worked much easier for me. I knew my sensitivity to seals was the reason I had detect the activation of the privacy array of the sleeper agent even with over a mile of separation.

Consent given, I handed back the form to our sensei. I noticed that it now had a detailed handprint on the back. It was a mark that would only have appeared had I truthfully agreed to the terms of the contract. After Orochimaru collected the forms from Sasuke and Sakura, he gave us a solemn nod and got up again.

He placed the documents on a small coffee table and then made his way to the centre of the room. He stood in the centre of the room and starting making handseals. Realising what he was doing, my eyes moved to the periphery of the room. I felt a moment of confusion when I failed to see a sealing array inked onto the floor. Suddenly I felt the tugging sensation in my mind as a privacy sealing array activated. This one was infinitely more complex than the little identification and consent array on the forms.

I felt almost dizzy as I sensed a seal that warped the time space continuum. Any energy leaving this room would be pushed into nothingness.

No that wasn't quite right.

It just felt like nothingness. The energy would be pushed sideways out of the 5 dimensions we shinobi were capable of interacting with. Feeling the array, I knew it was actually on a wallpaper border hidden behind the lace. Curiosity, got the better of me and I couldn't help but ask,

"Which dimension is it being pushed into?"

My question was met with blank stares of confusion from Sakura and Sasuke. Orochimaru sensei however was very still, looking me dead in the eye.

"You felt it?" He asked, surprise colouring his voice.

"Yeah. I'm pretty attuned to sealing." I replied.

There was another long pause with Orochimaru-sensei watching me, an unreadable look in his eye.

"Yes, you would be." He said finally, drawing confusion from me.

"Naruto, what are you on about?"

Sakura's voice brought me back to reality. I looked to our sensei to explain to her. However, he was still looking at me and instead made a motion for me to explain. He is testing me.

"He just activated an advanced sealing array. I'm pretty sure it was a privacy one." I said.

Sakura just rolled her eyes and looked at me.

"Yes that's pretty obvious. What did you mean about dimensions?"

"Well most sealing arrays work on the premise of converting or redirecting energy. A privacy array has to deal with the sound and light energy leaving an area. Possibly the chakra as well actually." I felt at ease explaining something I knew well.

"A rudimentary privacy array will warp any sound or light leaving an area. Anyone outside it would hear a jumbled mess of noise. They would probably see a swirling mass of light as well but most privacy arrays are used in enclosed spaces anyway."

At this point Orochimaru seemed to drop seamlessly into teacher mode, asking Sakura and Sasuke,

"Can you see what the problem with that is?"

Both of them were quiet for a moment, thinking out the question. I had to crush the instinct to answer.

"It would be obvious to anyone outside that a privacy array was in effect." Sasuke confidently answered after a moment.

"Very good Sasuke. Yes, that is the problem with a rudimentary array such as that. By their nature, privacy arrays are used in unsafe areas. Letting your enemy know you have secrets is unwise." Orochimaru then turned back to me, silently asking me to continue.

"The more common privacy array will transform all energy leaving an area into a less conspicuous energy type. The more exotic the end energy form, the more advanced the seal. Changing the energy all into light is actually easiest but that has the same problem as you said Sasuke"

I gave a small motion at Sasuke, acknowledging his point.

"The more advanced arrays change energy into forms either higher or lower than light on the electromagnetic spectrum. In order of difficulty, you could change the energy into Infra red/heat, ultra violet light, microwaves, X-ray's, radio waves or gamma rays. As far as I knew, a level four privacy array transfers the energy into either Gamma rays or X-rays. The array sensei just activated had a totally different mode of action."

I continued at a slower pace, as I started to leave theory I was sure about. I took a moment to explain what I had felt.

"As far as we know, there are 12 dimensions in reality. Ordinary people are capable of interacting with the first four dimensions. The first three dimensions are spacial, the fourth is time. Shinobi can interact with the fifth dimension, where spiritual energy comes from.

I think that seal pushes any energy leaving this area outside of those five dimensions. The sound would still be there, but anyone outside simply wouldn't be able to detect it. I honestly don't know what level of sealing that is."

Finished, I turned to our sensei to see his reaction. His face remained unreadable for a moment before he gave me a large smile.

"Very well explained Naruto. I see that the 100 mark on your written paper was no fluke." With his comment I saw Sakura's head whip around, as she gave me an awed look.

"To answer your questions, the energy is actually being pushed into the 8th dimension and this is a level 6 privacy array." I nodded and made sure to file the information away.

"Okay, to begin I suppose it would make sense to find out what you think you know about me."

I immediately looked to Sakura. Living under military control meant that information was restricted, especially in written form. I knew the public and D class libraries like the back of my hand but the information was heavily censored. Piecing together anything of use typically required cross-referencing between 8- 10 books. Stories on legends passed far more easily through word of mouth. Sakura being the most social of the three of us, was a veritable mine of gossip and rumour.

"Well you were a student of the Hokage together with the legendary medic Tsunade and the Gama Sennin Jiraiya" Sakura seemed to pause and look to Orochimaru for approval. He smiled at her, motioning to continue.

"Well you were all kickass! Apparently, during the Second Shinobi War, you three were Chuunin in a small clash of troops. You were just doing your thing when, bam! The leader of the Hidden Rain; Hanzo the Salamander turns up."

Even though I already knew the story I couldn't help but find myself engrossed in Sakura's narrative. She brought so much life to gossip.

"Obviously Konoho were like- fuuuuuck!"

"He just started to rip into us, tearing apart a battalion single-handed. You three signalled an emergency retreat but you stayed behind to hold him off."

That part of the tale had always confused me. Why would three Chuunin, even talented ones, be given the authority to signal a retreat? More confusing still, why would they be tasked with holding off an assailant of that calibre?

"Everyone thought- Well that's the last time we will be seeing them. But you three managed it. At Chuunin, you managed to drive off one of the world's strongest Ninja."

In sync, the three of us looked to our sensei to confirm or deny the validity of the story. Instead he just gave us a wry smile and asked,

"Anything else?"

This time I spoke up,

"You have been awarded five ornamental needles, the highest military commendation. After the Second Shinobi War ended, you resigned from front line duty as a combatant ninja and headed the Research Division for seven years before retiring early."

Orochimaru-sensei nodded saying to himself,

"What I expected. Well I suppose to start of my story the first thing I will ask you to do is disregard all the heroic deeds you've heard me do.

For a moment, our legendary sensei looked quite vulnerable. He nervously avoided looking us in the eye as he began to tell his story,

"Do any of you know about the Kantasi Clan?"

The three of us silently shook our heads, not wanting to interrupt him,

"The Kantasi Clan lived in the Sandari Rainforest long before the Leaf Village was founded in it. We were well known for our connection with snakes; much like the Inuzuka family with their dogs."

"Over the generations we underwent several transformations, increasing the bond with our partners. However, the technique that increased our genetic similarities to snakes has a weakness. It leads to increased genetic uniformity within the clan. Who can tell me the problem with that?"

His story had triggered a memory, and I realised I had read about the clan in passing,

"Genetic uniformity means that the clan would have the same inherent strengths and weaknesses. It becomes an issue in situations like of an outbreak of illness."

Orochimaru sensei continued,

"Yes, and that is exactly what happened. There was an outbreak of a rare flu virus. Our clan in particular seemed to be very susceptible to it. I was the only survivor, despite all of the Leaf's medical expertise. I was eight."

Out of curiosity, I surreptitiously looked at Sasuke to see his reaction to our sensei's history. He was looking at our sensei in an intense gaze. I looked away before he noticed me.

"Everyone I knew was gone and I quietly hated the ease with which they passed. They hadn't died in battle or in some grand fashion. They simply died of illness. It was so weak; so mortal."

"I will admit I went through my schooling and early career with a chip on my shoulder after that. I felt that I had to make-up for the weakness of my clan. To prove that unlike them, I was strong."

"I had an interest in any biological research that increased the durability of the human body. I felt the human form was flawed. It was...imperfect."

Orochimaru sensei paused for a moment. He seemed reluctant to continue, but shook his head and continued with the tale,

"I secretly began to conduct experiments on animals during my early career. When the Second Shinobi War picked up, I started to actively fear death."

I was shocked by that.

A shinobi should never fear death- It was one of the first tenants of our way of life. It was how we remained clear-headed whilst being in constant danger. You had to see beyond your own life.

"The Shinobi War presented me with a unique opportunity. I had easy access to plenty of human bodies and my fear motivated me to continue. My research progressed in leaps and bounds with human tissue. I managed to perfect many techniques that aided me immensely and I began to glimpse what I thought would be the ultimate being."

He gave a small, self-deprecating smile.

"The further I progressed, the bolder I became. It got to the point where I even abducted living leaf shinobi to test out incomplete theories. I was involved in the worst and most depraved research. But it all came to an end."

"My teammate Tsunade lost her brother and nephew suddenly. It was the opportunity I had been looking for. Tsunade was an unparalleled medical genius; I could scarcely imagine what we would have been capable of together. So I used her grief to turn her."

More than anything else in the story, that touched a nerve in me. It showed his mindset at the time. It was common for participants in war to have psychotic breakdowns from viewing that level of death. Our sensei had only seen opportunity. Seeing a long-standing teammate suffering and viewing it exactly the same way was even worse to me.

"It was a disgusting thing to do, but it was very effective. In many ways, she became worse than me. She was absolutely obsessed with recreating a forbidden technique of the Second Hokage that was rumoured to raise the dead. It was my turning point"

"Seeing someone I actually cared about become so consumed by grief was hard. She lost all sense of secrecy in her madness. Eventually I was forced to make a choice."

"For her sake, I went to the Hokage and confessed everything I had done. I gave over all my research and begged for our lives."

Our sensei was only briefly outlining his history but I had a talent for reading between the lines- censored texts were excellent practice. His actions didn't suggest he was capable of such a selfless act. The only reason I could imagine, was that he actually loved her.

"The investigation on me was...severe."

Severe was an understatement for what I imagine happened.

"Sensei's disappointment hurt more than I thought, but he saw I genuinely regretted what I had done. He broke all protocol and showed mercy. He retired the both of us and gave Tsunade a waiver to leave the village for recuperation."

Frankly, I thought he was incredibly lucky to be alive. Anybody else would have been executed without question. I could only guess the massive input he had in the Second war and the fact that he had voluntarily come forward had saved him.

"I have spent the last eleven years trying to atone for my transgressions. I eventually managed to earn back the trust of the Hokage but the bonds between my teammates were irreparably shattered. In my bid to realise a dream of mine, I lost sight of everyone and everything around me."

An invisible weight seemed to lift of our sensei as he finished his tale. He looked at us with solemn eyes as he said,

"I have paid careful attention to each of your personal reports. After reading them, I came to the decision to share my past with you. I am not saying that you shouldn't have dreams, just that you should never allow them to blind you or cripple your morality."

I was quietly irritated by the assumption that I was capable of following the same path as he did. On reflection, I decided that he had mostly told us for Sasuke's sake.


Regrets are forever.

Wounds heal, bones mend, regrets are forever – regrets don't heal, they whisper and dig deep into our souls.

– Joe6991, Harry Potter and the Heartlands of Time