...Transmission re-established
In the dark depths of a gloomy swamp, a sinister structure rises from the murky depths. Inside the Doom-based Hall, Evil Jimmy is addressing his followers.
"With the assistance of Negative Numbah 4, Mandark and Bling Bling Boy, I have drawn up plans for the machine that will allow us to break down the inter-dimensional barriers keeping us out of the Negative Universe!" Jimmy E. proclaimed.
"First, we are going to need a pool large enough to transport this entire building through..." -4 began.
"Oh oh OH! Pick me to build the pool, pick me to build the pool!" Mushi began pleading. "We can put it underneath the Sand Castle, and the Knights of the Round Towel will help us build it!"
"We need more then just three idiot teenagers to build a pool the size we need Mushi!" -4 snarled back.
"Ohhhhh, don't worry about that!" she said sweetly. Her tone then became vicious. "I'm sure we can find someone to 'help' us!"
Everyone became visually unnerved at the little girl's psychotic display except for Sandy (who was smirking) and Negative Numbah 4 (who had a respectful expression on his face) "Right then. Just take Heinrich and Brainfreezer with you. With Sector V just a few blocks away, we can't risk them catching on to us." he replied.
"Okie dokie then!" Mushi said back, all honey and sunshine again.
"If those KNDorks try to get in our way, I'll put them ON ICE!" Brainfreezer added suddenly.
"At the same time Cartman and Kyle will raid the Kids Next Door Seriously Cool Museum of Artifacts and Stuff, and steal anything that looks like it might be related to the Negative Universe or would look nice on your mantle. I've got a feeling this isn't the first time the Positive World has had contact with the Negative Universe." Jimmy E. ordered. "At the same time, Ana and Nixon will hack the Museum's database for any digital info."
"Why do I have to work with this French piece of crap!" Cartman shouted.
"I would also like to request a change of mission partner." Kyle added in a softer voice.
Negative Numbah 4 thought about this. "Alright. Bling Bling Boy, I'm adding you to the team." he decided shrewdly. Kyle was on good terms with Bling Bling because they both came from high society, and Cartman was neutral because of their shared weight problem.
"Destructively Nefarious Legion, MOVE OUT!" shouted Jimmy E. The scene cuts to the swamp outside, where the Doom-based Hall is still sticking out of the murky water. A ramp lowers from the base of the structure while the two eye-shaped windows slide open. A fan powered swamp-boat, the type favored in many southern states, slide down the ramp and sped away carrying Mushi, King Sandy and Brainfreezer with Heinrich Von Marzipan driving. At the same time, a circular silver disk flew out of the left window and an long, thin black rocket flew out of the other. The entrances then closed and the building sank back into the swamp.
(DNL symbol)
It's a beautiful day at the beach where young villain's boat eventually lands. As the four hike across the sand, they hear a shout break the silence. "LOOK! Past the yonder dunes! Has our king truly returned!" The owner of the voice was the green Knight of the Round Towel, who stood with his two comrades in arms while pointing towards the four approaching children.
"Yes my faithful servants, it is me, KING SANDY! I, and my darling Queen Mushi, HAVE RETURNED!" Sandy replied, eliciting a cheer from his cousins. "Now we must return to the castle where I shall unveil my new plan!"
"LONG LIVE KING SANDY!" the knights cheered all the way back to massive fortress.
(DNL symbol)
Meanwhile, in the air space above Kids Next Door Seriously Cool Museum of Artifacts and Stuff, the silver UFO hovered over the massive complex. Inside the craft, Kyle sat cross legged in a meditative pose while chanting a spell that will keep them off the enemy radar. Bling Bling was standing near a control panel as Cartman struggled to climb into a large machine that was obscured by shadows.
"Now be careful with this one Cartman. They don't just grow on tree's you know." Bling Bling while making some final adjustments.
"Whatever." Cartman grumbled. Bling Bling rolled his eyes and pressed a button on the panel, causing the floor beneath Cartman's new weapon to slide away, sending him plummeting towards the museum.
"Evil Jimmy said we we're supposed to warn him first." Kyle said in a tone suggesting he didn't really care.
"You would have done the same thing." Bling Bling Boy replied.
"Quite right." Kyle said back while exiting his meditative pose. "I suppose it is time for me to join the fray as well." The British wizard then walked over to the opening and cast the Griffin-summoning spell. He then jumped on the mythical creature's back and flew towards the complex, which was already powering up its defenses.
Inside the monument to KND history, a tour guide was explaining the origin of the world's oldest cootie catcher, "which was used by Numbah 101010 to successfully predict the plans and attacks of the adult during the fourth era of the Kids Next Door." Everyone 'oood' and 'aadddhhh' at this. Among the many interested observers were the (now dating) Numbah 83 and 84. Numbah 363 had kicked them out of the Sector W tree-house earlier in an attempt to avoid the 'love bug' as he called it. Numbah 83 has always liked visiting the Seriously Cool Museum, and so here they are.
"The Clarovoiant Cootie Catcher has unfortunately degraded with age, and while it can still be used, the answers are currently unreadable. Still, as long as it does not degrade further, it may one day be restored to working..." any further words were cut of by a massive object smashing through the ceiling and utterly destroying the ancient artifact. When the dust cleared a giant statue of Bling Bling Boy, identical to the one that attacked the Test Family awhile ago could be seen.
Panic immediately broke out, and several more cowardly operatives began to scream and run around in circles. The number of fleeing Numbahs kept growing as more and more kids found their weapons to be totally useless against the unstoppable statue.
Amidst the crowd of panicked kids, one child moved with calm and purpose. "Between my Griffin and that giant statue, none of these idiots will notice me." he then snorted. "These children have so much potential, yet they waste it on... hello." he stopped in mid-sentence when something caught his eye.
"The Magic Kit of the Great Numbah 32, Kids Next Door wizard and escape artist." Kyle read out load while glancing over several black and white photos of the operative in question. "Known for being able to escape any trap or restraint, he also claimed to be able to communicate with the dead and began the practice of burying stuffed animals. Interesting. Necronomicon!" he called while pulling an ancient black tome with a face on it out of his pocket. How did he fit an entire book in his pocket you may ask? Magic! (duh)
"What is it?" the book asked wearily. "You don't need me to eat anymore of that disgusting sludge do you?"
"No. At the moment I need you to store some more tasteful materials." Kyle replied while pointing the spell-book towards the display case.
Meanwhile, Numbah 83 was running with fear through the crowd. Lee had pushed her out of the giant statue when it was about to crush her before leaping forward to attack with only his Yo-Yo. Sonya was now lost and confused in the panicking crowd of people. Suddenly, she noticed something out of the corner of her eye.
It was Kyle. He had found another exhibit that had tickled his fancy so to speak, and was holding the Necronomicon out in front of him as the mystic tome consumed the artifact into a dark vortex. Sonya's first response would normally be to run away, but then she thought of Lee, who charged into battle against an almost invincible enemy with only a Yo-Yo. If he was brave enough to do that, then surely she could handle some geeky looking boy with a weird book! "Hey, that stuff doesn't belong to you!"
Kyle closed the Necronomicon and turned around to face her. "I'm well aware of that, little girl. The question here isn't whether or not I am stealing these things, but just what exactly are you going to do about it?" he said smugly.
This was when Sonya realized she didn't have a plan. "Well, uh... I might...oh no." she stuttered quietly.
"Just as I thought." Kyle shot back. "I, on the other hand, have an entire spell-book or hexes, curses, summonings and other magics I could easily destroy you with." the wizard declared while readying his wand, waving it around in the air to create various illusions. "I could do something classic, like turn you into a frog or put you to sleep for a hundred years. I could toss you through time, thousands of years into the past or future. I could summon an army of demonic creatures that would, rip you limb from limb!" he threatened will the illusions brought his words to life. In reality, many of these spells were beyond him, and the ones he could accomplish would require long, elaborate and uncertain rituals. This was the first time in his life, however, that the British wizard was instilling fear in someone else, not the other way around, and Kyle was getting a swollen ego from the sensation of being truly feared for the first time.
"No, please! Take the stuff and let me go!" Sonya pleaded while backing away.
"Or perhaps I will sentence you to the horror of infinite darkness, trap you in a realm of unending shadows. You'll be alone in the dark for eternity!" Kyle spoke dramatically while raising his wand over his head. He was only planning on hitting her with a temporary sleeping spell, as he wasn't evil enough to do that to anyone.
Sonya, however, did not know this. "no...no... YOU'RE NOT PUTTING ME IN THE DARK!" she screamed as her eyes became fiery and her teeth jagged.
"Oh dear."
While all this was occurring, Lee was continuing his battle against the King Bling Statue. All his attacks were proving totally useless however. Numbah 84 flung his Yo-Yo forward, but it bounced off the statue's stone skin, re-bounded back and snared his legs.
"Not cool!" he muttered while trying to undo the tangled mess as the King Bling Statue marches forward, each earth shaking step getting louder and louder. Just as the juggernaut is about to crush the Yo-Yo expert, an intense blast of light sails across the room and hits the statue right on the forehead, knocking it to the ground.
The immediate danger gone, Numbah 84 was able to calm down and get himself free. As he rose to his feet, he saw a familiar little boy in a black fedora and cape approaching with an over-sized, still smoking 2x4 bazooka. "Tommy? What are you doing here?" he asked, grateful but confused.
"Wherever kids are in danger, THE TOMMY will always be there to help!" exclaimed the former KND cadet. "Let me finish this guy off for ya' Lee!" The Tommy then aimed the hand cannon while flipping a small panel on the side revealing three slot machine reels. He presses a button as they start to spin. "Bingo." Tommy says with a smirk while pulling the trigger. A blinding green light erupts from the cannon and annihilates the statue and several cubic feet of the museum.
"And that is why you don't mess with The Tommy." he says smugly while blowing the smoke off the end of his over-sized weapon. A few seconds later Sonia joins her two friends. "Hey Sonya!" Tommy greets. "By the way, you've got some ketchup on your shirt."
"Ketchup is gonna be the least of your problems!" the three hear. They turn around to see Eric Cartman piloting a strange, semi-organic six legged pod machine thing (or SSOSLPMT for short) out of the rubble of the statue. "You losers may have beaten me before, but now I MEAN BUSINESS!"
Transmission interupted...
