Author's Note:
Thank you The Tainted Knight for your information on cloned Jedi. I hadn't known there could be technicalities, so I'll be sure to keep that in mind as the story continues.
...
Laurence woke with a start from a light tap on his shoulder.
"You were dreaming again," Darra whispered as she looked back towards Padme and Anakin.
Laurence groaned softly and sat up, rubbing his eyes. It seemed he had only been asleep a few minutes before the nightmares started again. Noting that Darra had woken him before he blew his cover, he nodded his thanks.
"Was it your mother again?" Darra asked in a hushed tone as she sat down across from him.
Laurence sighed. "I haven't been able to contact them yet," he said in an equally quiet voice. "No one's picking up the comlink."
"You're worried," Darra stated the obvious.
"I have to back to Tatooine," Laurence told her, his eyes filled with worry. "But I can't leave Padme when she's in danger. I'm torn between her and my mother." He shook his head. "I'm not sure what to do."
"Go to your mother," Darra ordered without a second thought. "We can watch over the Senator, Anakin and..." Her voice trailed off as she remembered that the Anakin she knew at the temple was not the Jedi he claimed to be.
"That's why I can't go back," Laurence said as he ran a hand through his black hair. "I can't tell if he is a threat or just a victim of someone else's grand scheme."
"A victim?" Darra asked in puzzlement. "What do you mean?"
Laurence stared into the distance, his eyes thoughtful. "I don't think he knows what's going on," Laurence finally explained. "I think he's just... lost. Like I was when I left the temple." He looked up at Darra, his face perplexed. "He doesn't just look like me, Darra. It's like he... he is me. His actions and emotions are mirrors of my own, it's just... it's just..."
Laurence shrugged as the words failed to come to his mind. "I don't think he knows who he is, Darra," he finally said faintly. "It's almost as if he thinks he is Anakin Skywalker. But how? That's what I don't understand." Laurence stared ahead at Padme. "But that's why I have to stay here. It's not just for Padme's sake. I'm afraid of what he will become if I'm not there to stop it."
"He's not you, Laurence," Darra insisted sharply. "You can't risk everything just because he has the potential to ruin your name. It doesn't matter what happens to him. You're Anakin Skywalker. He isn't. His actions reflect nothing of who you are."
Laurence shook his head slightly, his gaze serious. "I'm afraid it's not as easy as that, Darra. It's like I'm looking at my own reflection. When you look into a mirror, you see yourself, only backwards. That's what is happening with the other Anakin. He is me, and yet he isn't. He's everything I was in a slightly different way. Whatever happens, I can't leave him on his own to make my mistakes. If he continues this way, I know he'll destroy himself. If that happens, it will prove that I could have turned that way if I had stayed at the temple. I have to prevent that from happening. I need to be there to stop him before it's too late."
Darra shook her head. "I don't understand."
"I know," Laurence smiled slightly. "I don't think anyone could understand right now, except myself."
Darra looked down. "I suppose you're right though." She glanced up at Laurence, her face deathly serious. "Laurence, if what you say is correct, don't be too hard on him. He's young and arrogant, but he's not a bad person. If he is going to change, he needs gentle guidence - not a lecture."
Laurence looked up in surprise.
Darra smiled softly. "Well weren't you the one who said he's just like you were at a younger age? He already has enough people angry with him. Don't put yourself on that list."
Laurence's brow furrowed. Of course! How could he have been such an idiot! Here he was, trying to save his 'identical twin,' and he was acting just like every Jedi Master that had driven him from the temple! Laurence flushed in shame. He was treating 'Anakin' no better than Obi-wan had. Darra was right. The padawan didn't need more lectures. He needed someone to believe in him.
...
As Padme ate, she watched Darra and Laurence out of the corner of her eye. Darra's position hid Laurence from her view for the most part, but Padme could tell they seemed to be discussing something very important.
Peering around slightly, Padme noticed that hand signals were absent. Were they using some form of Jedi technique to communicate?
Just then R2 whirred over and handed them an extra slice of bread and a bowl of soup.
"Thank you, R2," Padme said politely. She decided to let the matter go concerning the two. It wasn't right for her to be snooping around when Laurence trusted her so implicitely.
"It must be difficult having sworn your life to the Jedi," Padme commented to Anakin as she distracted her mind from Laurence and Darra. "Not being able to visit the places you like, or do the things you like..."
"Or be with the people that I love?" Anakin filled in.
Padme hesitated a moment. "Are you allowed to love? I thought that was forbidden for a Jedi."
Anakin gave a quick half-smile and looked down a moment. "Attachment is forbidden," he confirmed, looking into her eyes. "Possession is forbidden. Compassion which... I would term as unconditional love... is central to a Jedi's life." He grinned, his eyes twinkling. "So you might say... we are encouraged to love."
Padme stared into his eyes, her mind turning in circles. Something was different about him. Something she hadn't seen before, or had been too busy to notice. There was a devotion in his gaze, a deep, heartfelt fervor that she had only seen in one person... her beloved Laurence.
Suddenly Padme was back in the Coruscant underlevels, gazing into the clear blue eyes of a seventeen year old boy who had saved her from what could have turned into a deathly nightmare. Deep and compassionate, his eyes reflected his every thought and emotion.
Those same blue eyes were identical those of the young man sitting across from her. Padme felt her heart pounding as she found herself sinking in the ocean blue gaze of her Jedi protector.
Scolding herself for her loss of control, Padme kicked her foot against the table to jolt her mind out of its reverie. But she couldn't get the thought out of her head.
"You've changed so much," she finally told Anakin.
"You haven't changed a bit," Anakin said softly, his gentle voice speaking volumes. "You're exactly the way I remember you in my dreams.
Padme felt her heart skip a beat against her will. Not trusting the way her emotions were acting against her, she turned back to her soup and silently ended the conversation.
...
Anakin took a deep breath of the clean, fresh air of Naboo. He had nearly forgotten how beautiful the planet was. The atmosphere itself was peaceful and serene, soothing his restless emotions.
As he helped Padme off the ship, he glanced towards Laurence, resentment filling him. For the first time however, Laurence didn't give him a glare of competition or admonishment. Laurence looked concerned for a moment as Anakin helped the Senator, but after a moment's hesitation he nodded to Anakin then picked up Darra's and his own baggage and took his place at Padme's side.
Anakin blinked, wondering what had changed in the guardian's attitude. Had Laurence moved past his apparent hatred towards him? Then a thought struck him. Did he hate Laurence? There had been no reason to; they had just regarded each other as enemies from the first moment they saw each other. Was Laurence moving past that now?
Anakin thought about it, then decided if Laurence wanted to call a truce, he would accept. He still didn't like the guardian much, but as long they were both working to protect Padme's life there was no reason for hostility - if Laurence kept his hands off of the Senator that is.
Anakin smiled as he followed Padme across the sqaure. He felt more lighthearted than he had in months. It was good to be with his angel again.
...
"I wasn't the youngest ever elected," Padme commented to Anakin as they walked up a flight of stairs. "And now that I think back on it I'm not sure that I was old enough. I'm not sure I was ready."
Laurence had removed his hood earlier, and his eyes were alert as he watched for danger. Finally he was where he should be; guarding his angel. He hated hiding his identity as Laurence when Padme needed him to keep her safe.
"The people you served thought you did a good job," Anakin responded to Padme's statement. "I heard they even tried to ammend the constitution so you could stay in office."
"I was relieved when my two terms were up," Padme mentioned, "But when the Queen asked me to accept Senator Organna's offer for a place in the senate, I couldn't refuse her."
"I agree with her," Anakin said. "I think the republic needs you. I'm glad that you chose to serve."
Laurence zoned out the rest of their conversation as he thought about what Darra had said earlier. She was right; Anakin was as lost as Laurence had been before he left the temple. Even now, Laurence still needed a gentle rebuke from a friend every now and then to prevent him from causing further havoc in life.
Straightening his shoulders, Laurence looked back and winked at Darra. With any luck, maybe they could turn his "twin" into a model Jedi.
...
Anakin hated politics. He preffered to act, not sit around and wait for council members to come to a decision.
"If the senate votes to create an army I'm sure it will push us into a civil war," Padme told the Queen of Naboo as they sat in her office.
"It's unthinkable!" one of the council members replied. "There hasn't been a war since the beginnings of the republic."
The Queen turned to Padme. "Do you see any way through negotiations to bring the seperatists back to the republic?"
"Not if they feel threatened," Padme answered. "My guess is they'll turn to the Trade Federation or the Commerist Guilds for help."
"It's outrageous," the council member who had spoken before pointed out, "That after four trials in the supreme court, Nute Gunray is still the viceroy of the trade federation. I fear the senate is powerless to resolve this crisis."
The Queen shrugged slightly. "We must keep our faith in the republic." She stood up, adjourning the meeting. "The day we stop believing democracy will never work is the day we lose it," she commented to Padme.
"Let's pray that day never comes," Padme replied.
"In the meantime we must consider your own safety," the Queen pointed out. "I realize that Laurence is far more than capable of protecting you, but even he cannot prevent everything."
"What is your suggestion, Master Jedi?" a council member questioned Anakin.
"Oh, Anakin's not a Jedi yet," Padme said quickly. "He's still a padawan learner."
Anakin felt his blood boil at her words. "Hold on a minute," he said sharply.
"Excuse me," Padme said curtly before continuing to speak to the queen about safety measures.
Anakin started to speak but was stopped as Laurence shot him a worried glance and shook his head slightly.
Caught off guard, Anakin paused long enough for Darra to sidle over and whisper, "She lives here, Anakin. I think she knows what she's talking about."
Anakin gave a sharp nod and remained silent. As much as he hated to admit it, he could have made a fool of himself in front of the Naboo council. Casting Darra a grateful look, he followed Padme as she finished explaining her plans of staying in the Lake Country to the Queen.
"Perfect. It's settled then," the Queen said as they left the council room.
...
Laurence leaned against the doorway and watched Padme and Anakin walk together across the extensive balcony. He felt oddly left out, as though his 'twin' had somehow managed to worm his way into the senator's heart, pushing Laurence out bit by bit.
Laurence felt a flare of jealousy take over his emotions. How could he let this imposter take his angel! How could Padme even be falling for him in the first place?
"You're going to fry your Jedi look-alike to a crisp if you keep glaring at him like that," a soft voice came from behind Laurence.
He glanced back to see Darra standing there, an amused smile on her face.
"He shouldn't be around her," Laurence said heatedly.
"He has every right to be with Padme as you do," Darra pointed out. "But if it bothers you so much, why don't you do something about it? You and Padme have known each other far longer than Anakin. Maybe she just wants you to make the first move."
Yes, and then tell her he had been lying this whole time? A week ago things would have been different. One week ago he could have swept Padme into his arms and told her he was her cousin Sheldon and she still would have loved him.
But now...
How could you tell someone that you had an 'identical twin' who was openly proffessing their love while for years you had remained silent? How could he expect Padme to trust him when he had been lying to her for so long a time? If the imposter hadn't come, she no doubt would have gladly accepted him. But now that 'he' was here, all of Laurence's plans had been decimated. How could Laurence tell Padme that 'her Anakin' was a fake?
Suddenly his heart stopped cold.
..
Darra saw Laurence stiffen, his face draining of all color. Looking towards the waterfront, she realized why. In one week Anakin had accomplished what Laurence had taken years to get to but never been able to achieve; he and Padme were kissing for the first time.
"How could she," Laurence whispered, hurt and betrayal written all over his face.
"Laurence, I'm sure she doesn't - " Darra's words were ignored as Laurence swiftly turned and left the room.
..
How could he have expected anything different? He had always been too careful, too reserved. Now Laurence could see the results of his prolonged silence. Padme had indeed fallen in love with Anakin Skywalker, but she had chosen the man who went out of his way to tell her how much he cared for her. Laurence had always waited, hoping to find the perfect moment when she wasn't caught up in politics.
Now he was too late.
Ignoring Sora's questioning glance, Laurence strode blindly towards his speeder and took off. Anakin would obviously be able to look after Padme for the next couple of hours.
Docking his ship a little ways away from Padme's house, his mind went over the balcony scene. She had betrayed him. For nearly two years he had given her his entire devotion, yet she had turned away the minute his look-alike entered the scene.
Perhaps he had been fooling himself this entire time; she had always loved Anakin Skywalker, not Laurence Stalin. She longed for the Jedi, not the security guard.
Resting his head in his hands, Laurence finally allowed himself to cry.
...
Sad chapter! (No, killing the author is not allowed according to mandate 210 paragraph four section C.)
I suspect that was an unexpected twist for many of the readers, but that's what makes this story unique. :) I love all the suggestions and theories I get in the reviews, but this is the first story where I'm going completely according to my own plot instead of trying to match everything according to what the readers hope to see occur.
Reviews would be appreciated - the more reviews I get the faster I update. :)
