Transmission re-established...
Miracle City, a spicy cesspool of crime and corruption!... is the next scene of this little drama.
Inside Caso de Macho, the home of the super-powered Riveras family, an old man wearing an over-sized golden sombrero is reading a letter with great joy on his face.
Dear sir or madam,
It has come to our attention that your grandson, operating under the identity of "El Tigre" has shown significant villainous potential. We wish to offer him membership in our criminal organization, which is reserved soley for young villains like your grandchild. Should he choose to accept, he will be sent on an initiative mission to test his abilities and loyalty to the cause of villainy. This letter, and return address, has been sent specifically to you, Puma Loco, after research into your villainous past confirmed our belief it would not be... diverted. Please pass it on to the potential villain in question.
From,
The Destructively Nefarious Legion.
The semi-retired Puma Loco (now known mostly as Grandpapi) chuckled an evil laugh of victory. This might finally be the thing to convert Manny to evil! After all, despite being his fun to be around grandpa, there was only so much he could do with the boy's father (his own son) around, balancing every example of the joy of villainy out with a lesson about honesty, goodwill, and all that junk. But away from his father and surrounded by villains his age...
"Manny, come quick!" he yelled. "I have a 'bad' feeling about this," he mused as Manny's footsteps got louder. "A very bad feeling..."
(KND symbol)
Elsewhere, another youngster weighed on heavily by duality, "Two-Face" McKenzie, is in hot pursuit of an Ice Cream Tanker guarded by two Armored Ice Cream Trucks down a suburban neighborhood at a breakneck pace. He and his reluctant right hand Joe Balooka, were inside a 2x4 motorcycle with a sidecar (equipped with a lollipop machine gun). His other four minions had been in similar vehicles until they had been shot off the road. Joe was driving while Harvey worked the weapon.
An Ice Cream man leaned out the side window to fire with his ice cream rifle, but Joe was able to hit him first with a Pink-Eye water ballon. As the crust quickly engulfed his face, the Ice Cream Man panicked, and his stray shots struck the wheels of the other Ice Cream Truck. They quickly melted on the blistering asphalt, creating an "Ice Cream Slick" that caused the other vehicle to spin out and crash into an inconveniently placed brick wall, exploding on impact.
As the stunned Ice Cream Men lay in their vehicles wreckage, one of them noticed something red among the wreckage. "Oh, Cherry Popsicle!" he squeled while grabbing it greedily. When his co-worker shot him a dirty look, he replied with, "What? Cherry's my favorite."
Joe pulled the motorcycle up next to the second Ice Cream Truck. When another Ice Cream Man leaned out the window to open fire, Harvey knocked him out with burst of fire from his G.U.M.Z.O.O.K.A. He followed up on this by tossing a condiment bomb in through the window. Joe pulled ahead as the vehicle blew up in a tasty burst of fire. Now directly alongside the passenger side of the truck, Harvey leveled his mounted weapon and opened fire at the door, eventually blasting it off its hinges. A steady barrage of fire also forced the driver and passenger from the vehicle, leaving Harvey free to jump in and take the wheel.
With great difficulty (being very short and all) Harvey maneuvered the truck into a back alley, where he'd be free to siphon off the precious ice cream undisturbed...
(KND symbol)
Back in Miracle City, Manny Riveras has just finished reading the letter with his Grandpapi. "So what is the Nefariously Destructive Legion anyway?" he asked his elder.
"They're a relatively new group, actually." Puma Loco explained, "In fact, I just found out about them from my last issue of Villain Quarterly. They are all about your age, and have banded to together to try and conquer the world." He then let out a content sigh. "It does my old heart good to see young people so dedicated to villainy."
"That sounds cool!" Manny exclaimed. He dashed off-screen, then returned with all his things packed. "When do I leave?"
"An address right here in Miracle city is on the back. Oh, and don't worry about your Father. I've already told him you'll be at a hero's summer camp." Grandpapi replied. Manny rushed out the door to reach the address as quickly as possible. "That boy is going to make a great villain."
Manny's father Rodolfo (better known as White Pantera) stuck his head in from the other room and countered. "Hero!"
"Villain!"
"Hero!"
"VILLAIN!"
"HERO!"
(KND symbol)
In a back alley nearby, Evil Jimmy stood next to a red and black hover car. When he saw Manny approach, he asked, "You El Tigre?"
Manny responded by spinning is belt buckle, causing green fire to wash over him. When the fire vanished, the pre-teen was clad in the black uniform of El Tigre. He also gained tiger ears and a tail. Punctuating his transformation with a roar, he answered, "Does that answer your question?"
Evil Jimmy chuckled lightly at this. "Let's go then." The two climbed into the hover car and took off. "So what's the evilest thing you ever did?" Evil Jimmy asked.
"Well, I once stole a bunch of people's pets and returned them after a reward was posted." The Latino Hero/Villain responded.
"Really? I once made a punch of prank phone calls. It kinda escalated into nearly destroying the entire universe." Evil Jimmy added in turn. "In the grand scheme of things, it was probably best that it didn't work out."
The two traded stories for most of the flight, and discovered they had a similar sense of villainy. Negative 4 had intentionally sent Evil Jimmy to collect El Tigre, as he knew the two would get along due to having similar tastes in evil. As they approached their destination, Evil Jimmy noticed something on his vehicle's Heads Up Display. "That's weird, there's around eighty pounds of unaccounted weight in the trunk."
Just as he said this, a panel that opened directly to the trunk popped open, depositing a girl Manny's age with blue hair and red goggles in the seat next to him. She looked around once, then calmly remarked, "hey dudes."
"Frida! What are you doing here?" Manny questioned, totally shocked.
"What, you think I was just gonna stay behind while you go party with a bunch of awesome kid villains?" Frida responded indigently.
"You guys are gonna have to sort this out on the ground, cause we're entering KND airspace. If I linger too long I'll get shot down." Evil Jimmy replied while pressing the ejector seat button. The twin back seats launched up via springs, sending the friends into the air. Acting quickly, El Tigre grabbed Frida and fired his grappling hook hands, allowing them both to land safely.
"Wooh, what a rush!" Frida exclaimed as soon as her head stopped spinning. "So where do you think this KND is keeping that Heinrich guy?" she asked. She just so happened to be standing with her back to the massive Sector V treehouse, thus preventing her from seeing the obvious solution.
Manny however, was able to view the tree house in its full glory. He stood in silent shock, mouth agape. Frida eventually got the hint and turned around, causing a similar expression to cover her face. "I hope they have churros." she said after about a minute.
"Only one way to find out." Manny replied while firing his claw off. It sank into the dense tree bark, before serving as a platform for the 5,000 volt electrical defense system. As he lay smoking on the ground, Frida mearly knocked on the front door, causing Montie Uno to open up.
"Oh, you must be one of Nigel's friends!" he said without hesitation. "I think he's up in his tree house. Head on in, both of you." he continued (oblivious to Manny's El Tigre costume). "It's just smashing to see that my son is so popular, though I haven't seen much of that kid with the skin disease lately."
(KND symbol)
Inside the tree house, Heinrich Von Marzipan sits inside a dark room with a one way mirror dominating the wall in front of him. The gray metal chair he occupies is directly across from an identical one. Between them both sits a similar steel desk. The German candy hunter is visibly nervous and sweaty.
Numbah 5 enters without a word and sits down. "So Heinrich, why don't you just spill the beans about this new group. It's not like you're gonna enjoy all the candy they've promised you in Arctic Prison." she said slowly while pulling a small piece of candy from her pocket and popping it into her mouth.
"You can't scare me Abigal. My allies will have me free before the day is up." Heinrich replied somewhat half heartedly.
Numbah 5 responded by popping another candy into her mouth. This only aggravated Heinrich further. "Maybe, maybe. Question is, will you be in any condition to leave after Numbah 4's done with you."
Heinrich became downright pale at that statement. He seemed ready to crack, but the intruder alarm cut off any possible confession. His demeanor immidiatly became supremely confident. "Oh, look at that. It would seem that my allies have come to free me."
Numbah 5 just smiled sadly. "Free you... or silence you?" she replied before walking out, leaving Heinrich more flustered then ever.
(KND symbol)
Back in the command center, Numbahs 1 and 2 were examining a number of flashing monitors and display screens, indicating a pair of intruders were rapidly moving through the tree house. "We need to intercept them before they reach the interrogation room! Where are Numbahs 3 and 4?" Numbah 1 shouted.
"Still out on their date." Numbah 2 replied while grabbing a weapon.
At the nearby mall, Wally and Kuki stand in the clothing section. Kuki is rapidly holding up various outfits in front of her and asking Wally's opinion of it. "I feel like this one really brings out my eyes, but this one matches my shoes, while this one is half off..." she rambled on and on.
Wally, who simply looked bored, suddenly had an idea. He reached forward and silenced Kuki by kissing her on the lips. "I think you look just fine the way you are."
The three members of Sector V rushed down the hallway to intercept El Tigre and Frida. The two groups came into contact when they simultaniously rounded corners at the opposite end of the same hallway. "So you are the Kids Next Door I've heard so much about." El Tigre spoke. "Nice place you got here, by the way."
"You've got great tastes in churros." Frida added while taking a bite out of a churro she had "borrowed" while the two were passing through the kitchen.
"Hey, that was from MY churro stash!" Numbah 2 exclaimed. "Too bad you didn't bring any guacamole though, 'cause it's time to MIX it up! Get it?"
"OK, I'm gonna beat you up just for that pun." El Tigre declared before leaping forward with his right claw out. With one slash, he quickly demolished their weapons. He was about to knock Numbah 1 to the ground when the Sector Leader activated his rocket shoes and flew toward the ceiling.
El Tigre then fired his left claw towards Numbah 2. Hitting the pilot on the head with an open paw, Hoagie stumbled backwards onto Frida, who was bent over as part of the classic "I'll push him while you kneel behind him and he'll trip over you" prank. It worked splendidly. Numbah 5 was about to respond with the "my fist in your face" prank, when Frida gave the overturned pilot a stiff kick, causing him to go rolling towards his teammates. Numbah 5 was crushed beneath the pilots girth, and Numbah 2 was too dazed to get off the stealth expert.
Numbah 1 retaliated by hitting El Tigre with a flying tackle, throwing him into a wall, then blasting him with a round from his mustard sidearm. Thinking quickly, Manny spun his belt buckle, turning him back into his civilian identity, then spun it again, giving him back his superpowers. This had the additional effect of freeing him from the sticky mustard, as the wave of green fire that washes over him when he transforms evaporated it.
El Tigre tried to end the fight by throwing a punch at Numbah 1, who managed to catch it by using both hands. El Tigre simply grinned, and knocked him to the ground with a sweeping kick. A look of pure fear grew on Nigel's face as his opponent unsheathed his claws and loomed over him. He closed his eyes and waited for the blow to come, only to feel a faint whoosh of air. If he had any hair on his head, it would have lost a few inches. Nigel opened his eyes, just as the floor broke in the hole shape El Tigre cut in it.
"Let's hurry, grab Heinrich and leave before he gets back." Manny spoke while grabbing Frida and running.
"But they still have more churros!" Frida only half complained. A short run later, the two stood outside the interrogation room. El Tigre unsheathed his claws to cut the door down, but before he could, Frida simply pushed it open. "Look at that, they forgot to lock it."
"Hey there. The Destructively Nefarious Legion sent us to..." El Tigre began.
"PLEASE HAVE MERCY!" Heinrich wailed. "I SWEAR, I HAVE TOLD ZHEM NOTHING!"
"Dude, chill. We're here to free you." Frida stated.
"Oh uh, yes. Of course." Heinrich replied cooly, instantly regaining his composure. He grabbed his hat from the table and stepped out with the others.
(KND symbol)
Back at the tree house entrance, Numbah 3 and 4 finally returned from their date. When they found Numbah 2, 5 and the hole where Numbah 1 fell through the floor, they were understandably freaked out. "Intruders!" Numbah 4 exclaimed. "I'll go try and slow 'em down, you go get IT ready."
Numbah 3 looked like she was going to object to the obvious danger of Numbah 4 taking on someone strong enough to incapacitate 3/5's of the team, but became resolute instead. She rushed off to prepare whatever "IT" is.
Numbah 4 and El Tigre came face to face as the temporary evil doer was on the final stretch of his getaway. "Look kid, you must have some guts to try and stop me after what happened to your friends, but you should just stand aside." Tigre spoke, trying to get Wally to stand down.
Stand down was not something Wally ever did. "Let's dance kitty boy." Numbah 4 replied while taking a few practice swings with a pipe he had picked up. Neither he or Numbah 3 had brought any weapons on their date, so he had to improvise.
El Tigre opened with a flying slash, but Wally was able to front-flip over it. Numbah 4 reacted by smashing the pipe into El Tigre's back, throwing the feline meta-human a few feet.
"Not cool! We gotta get in their!" Frida declared, only to be held back by Heinrich.
"I belive it vould be best if ve stay out of zhis fight. Vhe are clearly outmatched." he reasoned. A series of smashes, crashes and injury stars from the direction of the fight was enough to persuade Frida to this point of view.
El Tigre shot a grappling claw at Numbah 4, but the combat expert placed the pipe right in its path. As soon as the claws sunk in, Numbah 4 swung the pipe, causing El Tigre to crash into the wall and relinquish his grip. Tigre finally got a good slash in, and cut the pipe into many pieces.
"You can't win now man." El Tigre commented, pushing his claws out for effect.
Numbah 4 just smiled. "I wasn't trying to beat you, I was just trying tah stall you!" he yelled. After a few seconds of crickets chirping, he spoke again. "I said, I was trying ta..." the repetition was suddenly cut short when the gigantic robot bunny that is H.I.P.P.Y.-H.O.P. smashed through the floor.
"PREPARE FOR!" it yelled in the heavily synthesized voice before the machine spontaneously detonated without cause.
"OH COME ON!" Numbah 4 shouted. "NOTHING EVEN HAPPENED THAT TIME!" Such is the fickle nature of H.I.P.P.Y.-H.O.P.
The resulting explosion happened to throw Manny, Frida and Heinrich from the tree house. When they had all returned to their feet, El Tigre spoke up. "Well, since we've technically gotten Heinrich out of the tree house, we should leave before something else happens."
Just then, something else happened. El Tigre got hit by a school-bus.
...Transmission interrupted.
A/N: Whew, long chapter. Despite all my effort, I was unfortunately unable to fit in the joke where Numbah 3 hits the ground, only to have her parachute activate five seconds too late. I love that one.
Vigilant readers will catch a reference to my previous fic, Operation: Z.I.M. And yes, this means that all of my stories take place in their own special continuity. As for the look at Kuki and Wally's date, well... let's just say I enjoy throwing my shipper fans a bone every now and then. Enjoy.
Bonus points if any guesses who's driving the school bus.
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