I Need You To Catch Me When I Fall

Chapter Three

Nikki had lived on her own for a long time. Normally she loved it, loved the peace and quiet and being able to do whatever she wanted. But for once, she wished that someone lived with her. Someone to make the apartment seem less lonely. Someone to vent to, get everything off her chest. She needed someone to distract her from her endless train of thoughts. She needed a best friend. She needed Harry.

But Harry wouldn't be there for her this time.

The blonde woman stood beside the window, her oversized threadbare grey jumper drowned her, hanging down near her bare knees. She raised the cup to her mouth, draining the dreadful remains of cold coffee. Her long blonde hair hung around loosely around her face. Her mind was mulling over the argument that she'd had with Harry this morning. The day had started off so differently. She'd awoken from pleasant yet unsuitable dreams that left a smile upon her face. This morning it had been fantasies of Harry in very little that been etched onto the back of her eyelids. But now, it was the look of darkness he'd shown her as he'd said the final sentence that tore her heart out, that she saw every time she closed her eyes. Nikki closed her eyes slowly and shook her head. She sniffed up and leaned her head against the cold glass of the window. It's chill nothing like the one that froze her inside.

Nikki pulled her forehead back from the window, fatigue aching her bones. Sadness and regret staining her face. She turned on heel and padded across the living room, her toes sinking into the softness of her cream carpet. The soft carpet gave way to cold tiles as she entered the dimly lit kitchen. Nikki sighed and turned on the kettle, placing her cup down beside it. Her heart ached and her stomach was sick as she thought about the day.

She and Harry had sat opposite each other, but no words had been spoken. The tension in the room was like a wrecking ball to anyone that entered. Because even though she'd hated the words that she'd spoken in the argument, all of them were true. She had no claim on Harry, never had and never would.

Yet the thought of women in his bed made her feel physically sick with jealousy. A jealousy she'd controlled for so many years. But it seemed that, like normal, fate had decided to be a bitch and throw curve balls Nikki's way. Her heart forcing her mind to listen to it's longing for the one that could never be hers. No matter how much she desperately wanted him. Nikki exhaled slowly, dragging out the breath over many seconds.

She toed through the magazines on her kitchen counter before giving up and tossing them all in the recycling bin. The words just didn't absorb in her over active brain. She leaned against the worktop facing the rest of her kitchen, lightly biting her lip, her arms crossed across her chest. There was something shining on her fridge in the minimal light of the kitchen. She padded silently across the kitchen to the fridge which was littered with pictures. Pictures of her childhood, pictures of her adult life.

But one in particular caught her eye.

A picture of her and Harry from a few years before. In it, Nikki was looking at the camera, an honest smile lighting up her face. But Harry was looking at her instead. She reached out and pulled it out from under it's magnet. Staring at the picture, feeling her heart swell a few sizes. The look on the picture was the same look that he sometimes gave her. A look that made her hormones do back flips and made her want to believe.

Believe in something pure and true. Believe that one day her life would be fair and love would come knocking at her door.

Memories flooded through her mind. All the way back to the day that they'd met. The day that her life had changed forever. How far she'd come from being the lost and lonely forensic anthropologist. Memories of the flying show he'd taken her too. And of course, the day of the conference, when they'd ended up in that little pub, the way he'd shut her up with a kiss.

That day she'd realised that her heart belonged to Harry.

Harry had always been there when she'd needed him. He'd wiped away all the tears she'd shed, he'd held her close whenever she needed someone to be there. He'd been the perceptual knight in shining armour, always coming to the rescue whenever she needed saving. Catching her every time she'd fall. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

Nikki placed the picture down on the counter beside her cup and placed her hands on the granite worktop. Her head down and her long blonde hair falling around her face. She couldn't live in this post argument aftermath. Because as much as she hated to admit it, the thing that scared her most in this entire world, was Harry not being there.

What have I done? She thought, her eyes finding the picture again.

Because she needed Harry, even if it was just as a friend. She needed him to stand beside her and hold her in his arms. Make her feel like she belonged somewhere. Something that even her lovers couldn't make her feel.

Nikki reached for the phone, typing in Harry's number by heart. It rang once, twice, three times, four. There was no answer, it just went to voice mail.

Hi, you've reached Harry Cunningham. I'm not here at the moment but please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I'm not with the dead guys. Bye.

Nikki smiled, her eyes lighting up at the sound of his voice. She left a message saying how sorry she was for the argument and that she didn't mean a word she'd said. Could he forgive her and call her when he got home. She put the phone back in the holder and turned to leave the room, stopping only to pick up the picture. She ran her finger lightly across Harry's face, frozen in time and frozen in memory.


A shrill ringing dragged Nikki from the depths of sleep. The phone was flashing and vibrating its way across the white bedside table. Leo's picture filled the screen. Nikki flopped out a bare arm from under the covers and groped blindly for her mobile phone. She found it on the fifth attempt and dragged it back under the covers. She snuggled back into the warmth of the duvet and tapped the receive call button.

"Alexander" she mumbled sleepily. Her eyes still closed.

"Nikki it's Leo..." the voice rang down the phone, the loudness of it making Nikki's ears ring.

"Leo it's.." she interrupted, pulling the phone away from her face and opening a single eyelid to check the time. "...4:30 in the morning." Can't people die at decent times she thought as she continued to speak. "If it's case, call Harry because I'm too tired to get up"

"Nikki, Nikki, Nik" Leo's voice said urgently down the phone in reply as she moaned over him. "Nikki, that's the thing, it's Harry. There's been a car accident, a bad one. And Harry was involved"


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