Sensitivity training. One of the many mandatory parts of being an NCIS agent, the number of seemingly meaningless lectures and classes. Even after the team's night out they were expected to be wide awake and ready to be sensitised.
"Why can't we do this on Monday, or even tomorrow, or after lunch?" Kensi was struggling to get dressed, and drink her coffee at the same time. "Who could possibly expect us to be awake and ready to be shot at this early after then night we had?"
"Hetty. No one said that you had to drink that much. And we're not being shot at, it's much worse than that, and not your fault at all." Adding the last part as an afterthought, in the hopes of not spending the night on the couch. In the last two months Callen had learnt a lot about marriage, namely when to talk and when to shut up.
"Nice save," said Kensi as she washed out her coffee cup, placed it in the sink and grabbed her keys and jacket, "but I'm still driving."
"Of course." Callen muttered, shutting and locking their front door behind him, this is going to be a long day.
"You will find in front of you a booklet detailing the outline of this course," The guest speaker instructed, "we are going to start this lesion with a demonstration, of both sensitive and unsensitive behaviour towards a colleague."
The NCIS LA department had all crammed themselves into the boathouse, sitting on tables, chairs couches, and in some cases on the floor or in fold-up beach chairs. As their HQ was top secret, the roomier building had been forfeited in favour of the smaller but not as compromising boathouse.
"I'm going to need two volunteers," she waited until they had all looked around nervously before pointing at two people, "what about you two?" Pointing twice, once at Kensi and again at Callen.
"Good luck and play nice." Said Sam as Callen stood up from his spot to the left of him."Don't give him too hard a time Kensi." He chuckled as she got up from his other side.
"Ok, so for example, what's the worst thing that you have said to each other?" This speaker obviously had no idea what she was getting herself into. Kensi's face lights up like a Christmas tree, thinking of all the ways she could get her husband into trouble. Callen was already regretting some of the things he had said that morning.
"Well just this morning, he said that I take too long in the bathroom, complained that this training day was my fault, and criticized my driving!" She finished with a triumphant grin.
"Hang on, you were in the bathroom for five minutes, all I said was that that was quicker then normal. I also said that this lecture wasn't your fault and your can't criticize me for telling you to slow down and not bump into the cop car, I could have saved you from gaol." Callen's mind was already calculating how many nights he would spend on the couch.
Looking over at the crowd, the speaker realised that something was up, "You're the married couple aren't you?"
"Not for much longer if Callen has his turn." Called out Sam who was having a ball watching the drama unfold in front of him. "He may say something he could regret."
"Yeah and knowing Kensi, she wouldn't take him to court, just out back with a loaded gun." chimed in Deeks who like Sam was enjoying watching the drama.
"Well I suppose it would be unfair to drag you personal life into work, no matter what you say to each other in you off hours." With that Kensi and Callen were free to return to their seats.
Over two hours later, they had been split into groups of two, role playing how they talk to grieving widows, siblings, partners and children. Nell was explaining to a grieving Eric that it was very important that he give up his finger prints, so they could rule him out as a suspect. Sam was playing a dumb cheerleader who was withholding evidence, while Callen tried to explain it was part of a very important investigation. Deeks was playing the part of a shifty bank teller, while Kensi tried not to punch him and get the information at the same time, and lastly Hetty was persuading a terrified Nate that if he hands himself in all charges will be dropped.
While they were playing their various roles, the speaker would walk up to them with a pen and clipboard calculating how well they were doing.
"Mr. Callen, I understand that this is frustrating for you, but you have to understand, some people just don't respond the way you want them to." And with that she wrote down something on her paper and walked off.
Taking a deep breath, Callen mentally prepared himself for his next attempt.
"Ma'am, what you are holding is very important to our investigation, if you continue to withhold evidence you will be charged with that offence."
"Well like finally, someone's going to do something about the way like the hairdresser cut my hair like last week, it was like so horrible, I hope you like arrest her!" Said Sam in a fake high-pitched voice, pretending to flip his hair over his shoulder.
Much like her husband Kensi wasn't having any luck, only she wasn't dealing with stupidity, only fake charm and flirting.
"Well darling, I can't give you that information without a court order, but maybe we could reach an arrangement." Grinning in a way that made him look slimy compared to a slug, Deeks winked at her.
"You know what that's a great idea," reaching over the table, she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and hisses something in his ear making him turn pale.
"On second thought, we may be able to give you those documents after all." Says a still terrified Deeks, as the speaker walks past writing something down on her clipboard.
"Threatening is not part of this syllabus Ms. Blye." Callen and Sam laugh from their spot next to them, though quickly sobered up when Kensi shot them a glare that could have killed.
"Miss Lange, that's excellent, the textbook definition of the right way to treat a suspect."
"What do you wanna bet that Hetty wrote that textbook?" Said Deeks quietly to Sam, Callen and Kensi.
"I just use my experience Mr. Deeks, this is not my first sensitivity lecture, and I dare say it won't be my last." She replied looking directly at the four of them, all who visible recoiled at the thought of more lectures.
"This is why I like technology, I don't have to talk to it!" Nell had finally had enough of Eric and his fake blubbering.
"I think it's time that we move on." Said the speaker, much to the relief to everyone in the room.
"I can't believe she gave us homework!"
"Deeks shut up, or I just may follow through with my promise." Said a irritated Kensi, finishing off her coffee she had bought on the way back to OPS.
"Have you read all of these questions?" Sam had just sat down at his desk, looked at the booklet in horror, "'make sure to compliment each of your co-workers daily, and detail their response.' Seriously who comes up with this stuff?"
"Lab rats, and research analysts, trapped in government bunkers, for fear they will contaminate the world with their weirdness." Callen had just opened his booklet and was in the process of tricking off boxes in the lecture evaluation section.
"What do you say we all grab some take-out and pull our recourses, it'll be done in half the time and I'm hungry." Already standing with her jacket in one hand and her bag in the other, Kensi waited for the others.
"How 'bout that Chinese place around the corner form you? I'll grab Hetty, Nate, Nell and Eric, and meet you there." Sam went off in one direction while Kensi, Callen and Deeks walked towards their cars.
"Sorry guys, I'm going to have to bail, I have a hot date!" Kensi laughed "Even after last night?"
"Yes, even after last night, wish me luck, oh wait no don't worry I won't need it!" With that he was off, hopefully towards someone who didn't read herpes watch sites.
"If she doesn't punch him by the time that dates over , it'll be a miracle!" Said Kensi as she and Callen got into their car to join their team for dinner and homework, feeling very much like high school students.
Authors Note: Hi, for those of you a little confused, this is a series about moment of the teams lives, and how they interact with each other on daily. I'm not sure what to do next, dinner and their responses, or their next team night? Any ideas?
