Chapter 3
-Lesson 2: Dreams Are NOT Real!-

Day 1 - Continued

The silver-haired lazy samurai finally used all his strength to walk to the toilet which occurred probably for about three minutes of crawling and dragging himself. Megane took off in anger and who knows where that mischievous Yato girl went. Most likely to bully someone. Anyways, at the third minute, his mouth was about to explode and he made it just in time to discharge all that built up vomit. Through all the noise of him barfing, he heard a stampede of footsteps that quickly traveled up the wooden stairway outside. It had to be Kagura, right? And his paternal instincts were telling him he was in for some whine-fest. Oh, but this was positively not the right time; his head thrashed with the beat of the storm called Typhoon Kagura.

The red-head violently swung open the entryway to track down Gin-chan. She frantically cried for her supposed Guardian and caught an ear of him regurgitating. "Gin-chan!" she repeated into the bathroom, "You gotta help me!" She shook him vehemently on his shoulders. "That devil Shinsengumi first captain is torturing me!" Back and forth, she swayed him stronger and quicker.

Poor Sakata grew more queasy and he couldn't even mumble out a single understandable utter. His visions blurred as if he was taking a horrible roller coaster ride and adding to the fact he had a hangover, he ended up fainting. His mouth foamed and some of his vomit oozed out of his mouth and disgustingly mixed with the bubbles.

Not caring, Kagura continued to trouble him, "Gin-chan! Wake up! You have to help! I don't want my innocent eyes to be traumatized by him anymore!" She knew Gintoki went out for a drink last night and when he does, he'll consume however many or exceed his limit. It was inevitable to get something out of him. In her last effort, she decided to kick him inside the tub and let the waters run on his face for about two minutes.

Still, he didn't stir.

Laughing, Kagura noticed a speck of lipstick on his lips and a kissing mark on his neck. A short sigh, meaning she gave up, and off she went on the couch to watch TV. There had to be a solution, as she sadly stared at the plain ornament wrapped around her wrist. These crimson jewels reminded her of the Sadist's (evil) orbs; maybe, it was to symbolize that "her Master" had an eye on her. Her spine shivered, he already had his creepy hands on her photo and it scared her a bit that Okita had a constant stillness of her exposed. She just had to get unlucky, while she was changing out of the new red dress that her Papi bought for her early birthday. Early since Umibozu had plans for two months and apparently the express flights weren't running because of the unnatural meteorites appearances in outer space, unfortunately around his area.

Not pleased of any of this, she desperately used her finger tips to pull out this metal bracelet, though transferring all her strength to her tips was harder than she thought. This trinket was made for the size of her wrist surprisingly. Her fingers dug into her skin as she kept trying and she surrendered for probably the third time today. She frowned as things were not going her way, but at the same time, smiled inwardly, since this was the first time, she received something from him. Her Goshujin-sama (master)...


Cloudy. Their breathes elevated each time they kissed one other and their tongues met in between. Soon one person licked his neck and in reaction, a couple of moans escaped him. He allowed the beast to keep violating him, until it gasped for air. In a frenzy, they both stripped each other down and one of them took the initiative to go on top...

Breaking in a sweat, Hijikata woke up from his nightmare and gulped. He was so frightened to take a look at his body. He had to take a shower and now. On the day they drank, he was probably forced to do that and was defiled by him. He recited to himself, "It was only a dream," at least ten times, until his fingers dragged his face down. He and that Yorozuya leader actually DID IT! Just a dream! But the dream was so real! It didn't happen! What about the make up? Part of that asshole's prank. Why did his body feel so good about it? No, no, no! A tickling sensation grew... He shook his head vigorously, side to side, and he banged it against the wall. As if he was counting sheep, he called out numbers of him walloping his skull.

Gintoki synchronized the same event at the same time and he was also in disbelief.


Day 2 - Monday, October 6th

Once again, this morning, Kagura tried to get Gintoki's attention, but he was in his own little world, chanting, "It didn't happen... it's just a dream..." A blanket wrapped around his knee-hugging position which resembled closely like a mad homeless person. His multiple red-lined eyes formed bags under it and his pale face almost glowed in his darkened room. "Oi, Gin-chan, don't tell me you pissed your pants off cause of a dream?" the girl questioned, poking her nostril. She pasted her boogers onto the man's forehead and he didn't react at all. "Stupid, useless samurai. I hope you get bald, like Papi!" she declared, in front of his face and her spits landed on him. Again, no feedback.

"Hmph." Stomping out, she wondered to herself if she had to rely on herself to get out of this predicament. She knew she didn't have the astounding wit to get out of it and her brute strength (and cuteness) was her only method, but that wouldn't help and she already slipped on that contract; she feared that he sent out the pictures publicly. She needed revenge on that bastard.

She crammed and crammed the hell out of her brains for a solution. The opposite of strength is weakness! Gin-chan would probably say to me, "Don't hesitate, when the chance comes up unexpectedly. If you see an opening, take advantage of it and move forward until the enemy is brought down!" An expression of content lit up on her profile and out she went, to oppose the Prince of Sadist. He was human meaning he had to have a weakness or two, and exploiting it was the only thing on her mind.


In the Shinsengumi grounds, all the members (except Okita) were in a distraught state, since the demon vice-leader wasn't himself. Their morning training schedule already passed and there were no orders of patrolling or missions to attend to. No briefing, no breakfast, no morning routine (example: brushing one's teeth), and etc. Everyone was banging their heads, running around naked, having food fights, reading their mangas, and slacking off in any form. Instead of it being the Shinsengumi headquarter, it was now a chaotic playground of reliving the childhood as grown men prancing around mindlessly.

As fore-mentioned, Sougo was the only "normal" one; typically, he was not the sheep to follow the Shepherd Hijikata Toshiro. And yet, he did not stand out, since he was resting on the porch with his usual mask. It was really appalling how he could sleep through all this ear-pounding clamor.

"Oi," his inner thought called out to him, "Don't you think this is the perfect chance to take your place as the rightful vice-commander of Shinsengumi?"

Okita groaned to himself and snored away.

"Get up, my lazy-self." His bazooka ready to fire.

"I really hate Monday's," he stated, still laying there.

"I already knew that, since I am your conscience. Regardless, you do realize that nuisance of a vice-captain is out of order."

"I guess."

"You guess? Well, whatever, I'm sure you'll eventually get around to it. See ya." His own-self was also feeling lazy.

After taking another hour nap, Okita took off his eye-cover and stretched his arms out. The young man slowly meandered his way to Hijikata's room and evilly smirked at the hysterical man. This process was gonna be quite troublesome. Well, rather than Sougo doing all the work, he grabbed a few of the once crazy Shinsengumi members and ordered them to place Toshi into the dingy coffin. Of course, with his sadistic glaring eyes, he was also able to command them to toss that box into the rivers of Edo. Now, all he had to do is go to Kondo-san, wherever he was, and convince him to be his vice-captain, but alternatively, he decided to take his break and torture China once again.

As he exited the area, dodging all the disorders, he looked onto his cellphone and clicked on his GPS shortcut button. She was nearby! He searched around, his hands on his weapon, ready to fight. But where? He scanned his surroundings. Front? Right? Left? Behind?

There was a moment of silence, as the cold autumn wind blew.

Up there! From the roof, Kagura leaped over and swung down, landing her parasol onto his sword - an automatic defensive reaction, no less, from Okita. "Good afternoon, Goshujin-sama!" she greeted, back-flipping gracefully away, "I got something to tell you: your days as a Shinsengumi is over!" She swiped her umbrella to point at him and smiled innocently at him for the short moment. "I'm going to get you expelled from your precious Shinsengumi." Her face reverted to a demonic stare and she chortled away as loathsome as possible.


Author's Note: I probably wrote the most exaggerating part of the plot ever cause who would get so traumatized by such a dream, or nightmare for those two in their case, but hey, it's quite hilarious. This didn't have a lot of OkiKagu sadly, which I honestly didn't intentionally plan for that to happen. My mind went to writing this and that and then, it turned out to be like... this? Anyways, I'll try to write more, but my weekends are a bit busy probably. Ja ne.