Vincent sat under the hat, staring into space.
Hello, said the hat, what's your name?
Uhhhhhhhhhh... answered Crabbe.
Ooh, a man with strong resistance. I'll just look inside your head for information.
Uhhhhhhhhhh...
Oh. I see. No brain.
Uhhhhhhhhhh...
Well then, that makes the job of brainwashing you even easier! Here are some thoughts:
You will become Draco's mindless servant for life and death.
You will serve the Dark Lord until he requires the simple task of you sacrificing your life for the greater evil.
You will protect the name of Slytherin from those who are sane.
You will fail all of your classes to make Draco look like he actually knows something.
You will become best friends with Goyle and form the Best Idiots Forever Or Else club (BIFOE.)
You will pursue your life-long dream to become a lamp.
You will make loud, unnecessary noises when you hit something.
You shall not fickle forwards.
You shall not fickle backwards.
And above all, you shall worship the mugroom.
