Of Leather Pants and Powdered Vampires

Disclaimer: Again, Harry Potter is not mine no matter how many 11:11 wishes I make for it to be. Sigh. Also I do not own the lyrics, they're ke$ha's.

It was a strangely completely normal not weird at all day at Hogwarts. That was, until the unthinkable happened. All the students stared in horror, silverware clanking onto tables, goblets falling from hands, and one poor soul even fainted, landing face-first in his pudding, as Draco Malfoy strode into the great hall.
He was carrying an ipod dock and wearing only gold leather pants and some glitter. . . A considerable amount of glitter. Well, no, it looked more like he put Edward Cullen through a trash compactor and rolled in his powdery remains.
The professors were too shocked to react as he set the dock on their table, flashed a pageant-worthy smile at the helpless diners, and hit play.

"There's a place I know

If you're looking for a show."

He jumped onto the table and sang into Dumbledore's face

"Where they go hardcore

And there's glitter on the floor.

And they turn me on."

He turned now to the house tables, dancing wildly

"When they Take It Off.

When they Take It Off.

Everybody Take It Off."

Draco leapt to the gryffindor table and began to strut along it, singing all the while

"Lose your mind.

Lose it now.

Lose your clothes"

He stole a terrified second-year's scarf as he continued on his way

"In the crowd.

We're delirious.

Tear it down

'Til the sun comes back around."

Unexpectedly, Sirius Black appeared behind the half naked teen.
" I wish stuff this awesome happened when I was in school!" he whined. He shrugged and joined Draco in his dancing and stealing various students' clothes

"There's a place downtown,

Where the freaks all come around.

It's a hole in the wall.

It's a dirty free for all.

And they turn me on.

When they Take It Off.

When they Take It Off.

Everybody Take It Off!"

Due to the extremely large amount of raving lunatics now attending Hogwarts, the two dancing men had gathered quite a large procession. Said raving lunatics had formed a train behind them and joined in for the chorus.

"There's a place I know

If you're looking for a show.

Where they go hardcore

And there's glitter on the floor."

"Albus!" exclaimed a shocked mcgonnagol as the old man joined the mass of crazed students on the tables.

"You must learn to live a little my dear Minerva!" He shouted as the crowd swept him away

"And they turn me on," the students sang,

"When they Take It Off.

When they Take It Off.

Everybody Take It Off."

"Oh, oh, oh!" Draco's solo.

"EVERYBODY TAKE IT OFF!" lunatic students

"Oh, Oh, Oh" Sirius' solo.

"EVERYBODY TAKE IT OFF!

Right now! TAKE IT OFF!

Right now! TAKE IT OFF!

Right now! TAKE IT OFF!" sang the crazed witches and wizards.

"Ohhh!" Snape's solo.

"Right now! TAKE IT OFF!"

Wait, Snape's solo? What the heck! Snape ran from the hall ashamedly.

"Right now! TAKE IT OFF!

EVERYBODY TAKE IT OFF!"

Dumbledore then tore off his shirt in a fit of Ke$ha induced insanity

"AHHHH MY EYES! OH FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS MAGICAL!" one student screamed as he ran from the great hall, clutching at his face.

In a poof of green smoke all of the dancing magical folk disappeared from the hall, leaving behind only an abundance of crushed-vampire glitter.

"Does anyone know what just happened here?" Harry inquired, looking around the room at all the shocked and horrified faces.

Silence.

"I'll take that as a no." he replied, deciding that this must have all, in fact, been a terrible awful nightmare.