Hi everyone! It's Sunday again, and that means it's that time of the week. I've been rather busy lately, my grandma is in the hospital you see, and I've been left to take care of everybody (my mom's animals, the family, the house, etc.) Since I've been pretty busy doing the mundane chores around the house that no one wants to listen to, I don't really have too much to rant about, so, heh, enjoy reading!

Disclaimer: Still don't own Lord of the Rings. Wish I did though ... but alas, tis too awesome for me!

"Sophie?" Legolas grasped her hand lightly with his free one, "Are you alright?"

At first, Sophie didn't answer, and remained with her head down on his hand, "I'm fine." she said, sighing softly.

"You don't look 'fine'. Is this because of my question about-"

"Tapping certain parts of your body?"

"…" Legolas didn't know how to answer, "What does it mean to 'tap one's ass'?"

Sophie began to hit her head on his hand again, "It's a … it's a thing special friends do to each other."

"So, they swat each other's behinds?" said Legolas, "Don't fathers and mothers do that to their children?" he asked.

Sophie groaned, and suddenly a look of understanding settled upon his face, "Oh! I understand now, Lady Sophie." Sophie looked up at him, face flushed from embarrassment, "You are angry with me about the honor incident, therefore you want to …" Legolas scratched the back of his head nervously, "… Spank me."

Sophie stared at him in disbelief, "N-no!" she choked out, "That's not it!"

Legolas was hopelessly confused, "Then … what is it?"

"Well, you see … I mean …" Sophie sputtered, wracking her brain for some way to explain it.

"It means she wants to do naughty things with you silly!" Cuddles said, sidling up beside their table, "Wow, you are really old fashioned!"

Legolas raised an eyebrow, "Naughty things?" he paused for a moment, then his eyes widened.

'This will not end well …' "Sophie, uhm … perhaps-"

Sophie kicked Cuddles in the shin, who yelped and scurried away, spitting her tongue out at Sophie as she went, "I-I'm so sorry Legolas, my friend is a moron who tends to assume, so please, ignore her."

Legolas appeared to have not heard her, and was currently deep in thought, a small tinge of pink upon his cheeks, "So … that's what she meant …"

"Uh … Legolas?"

He blinked, "Oh, I apologize, could you repeat that?"

"I-I'm not going to attempt anything, I don't want you to think that I'm some kind of pervert or anything! You're a really, really good person, and I'm not saying that I wouldn't tap you cause I totally would if I knew you better and-" Sophie ranted, 'Holy shit did I just say that?'

Legolas and Sophie were both blushing again, "I-um-"

There was an awkward moment of silence one again, "Umm … maybe we should get going? I want to show you around town."

Legolas smiled, and at once, the awkwardness disappeared, "I would enjoy that very much, Sophie."

Sophie nodded and slid out of the booth, walking up to the counter to pay the bill, "Cuddles?"

Cuddles walked over to them to give them their change, "What up, Soph?" "Grammy's birthday is on Sunday, you coming?" Sophie asked, handing her a tip.

Macey pursed her lips, but accepted the money, "I'll be there of course, your grandma knows how to party!"

Sophie sighed and said her goodbyes, dragging Legolas along with her. This time, she held the door for him. He gave her a strange look, but walked through, turning around when he was completely out of the door and while she was halfway through.

"Sophie?"

"Eh?"

He blushed, "I-I would gladly 'tap your ass' as well, if we knew each other better."

Sophie blushed, but smiled. A squeal was hear from inside the diner, no doubt it was Cuddles. Sophie closed the door before the hyper girl could even start her little rant of joy and grabbed the arm that Legolas presented to her.

"Let's just walk, it's not too cold out." she said, "Besides, the first stop is close by anyway."


The first stop was a small convenience store that was a few blocks from the diner. A bell jingled, signaling their entrance. Sophie's hand was intertwined with Legolas's, so the man wouldn't wander off. She led him to the counter, where stood a rather bored looking teenage girl. The girl looked up as they approached.

"Hello, Miss Jenkins." she greeted, not even looking at Sophie, but instead eyeing Legolas, "I assume you're here for the usual."

"Yes." Sophie said, suddenly irritated that the girl was looking at Legolas as if she wished he would ravish her on the counter or something.

"Coming right up." the girl said with a sigh, going back to grab one of the disposable camera's that hung on a wire rack, "You know, maybe you should just buy a camera, it would be a whole lot cheaper for you in the long run."

Sophie didn't know why the girl was complaining, she was bringing business to the store, "I'm working on it." was her reply as she handed money produced from her purse to the annoying teen.

The teen gave her back her change, "Have a good day, Miss Jenkins." she said, still staring at Legolas, who was looking rather embarrassed.

"You too." Sophie said, having to literally bite her tongue to refrain from adding 'bitch' to that statement.

Once the two were out of the store, Sophie fumed to Legolas, "How dare she!"

"How dare she what, Lady Sophie."

"How dare she stare at you like that!"

"Stare at me like what, Lady Sophie."

"As if you were nothing but eye candy!"

"Eye candy?" Legolas said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, eye candy." Sophie said, "Don't get me wrong, you are a very handsome young man, but she didn't need to stare at you as if you were nothing more than a lump of gorgeous male flesh!"

Legolas chose not to interrupt her rant session, for he was rather enjoying the compliments being given to him by the angry you girl. He took a moment to observe her in this state. Her forest green eyes were burning with anger, her full, but not too full lips tugged into a frown as she ranted on and on.

"Lady Sophie, perhaps you should relax a moment."

Sophie shook her head, "It was disgraceful. I should march back in there and give her a piece of my mind." Sophie actually turned around to go flip out on the girl before Legolas stopped her.

"Let it be, milady, you could get hurt."

Sophie pursed her lips, whether it was because of the 'milady' or because he stopped her, he didn't know, "I won't get hurt. I've been trained in the art of karate, as well in the art of cat fighting."

"Karate?" Legolas asked, cocking his head off to one side, "Cat fighting?"

"Yup!" she said, smirking, "And now, I shall go back and fight for your honor, like you were going to do for mine."

"You will most certainly not."

"I most certainly will."

"No you will not, because you still have this beautiful town to show me, remember?"

Sophie paused, then sighed, "Fine." she said, conceding defeat, "For now."

He smiled, then leaned down and kissed her on the cheek, "Thank you." he said.

She nodded and grabbed his hand, dragging him to the bookstore. They were greeted at the door by the owner, Addie, who told them to have fun, and told them to enjoy their date, much to Sophie's chagrin. She also warned them that Cashmere was out and about, making Sophie laugh as she walked towards the back of the store, Legolas following along behind her.

"Who is Cashmere? Is it not wool from a goat?"

"No, that's Cashmere." Sophie said, pointing to a little girl with blonde pigtails and blue eyes.

"Hiya Sophie!"

"Hey there Cash, how's it going?"

"Gooooood." the little girl sang, "Ohhh, who's he? Is he your boyfriend?"

"Nope."

"Then can he be my boyfriend?"

"I dunno, why don't you ask him?" she said, winking at Legolas.

The little girl turned to him, "Will you be my boyfriend?"

Legolas reddened slightly, "I-uh-"

"I think he's a little old for you my dear." Sophie said, giggling.

"You have no idea …" Legolas muttered.

"Oh …" said the little girl sadly, making Legolas panic slightly.

"But I bet he'd let you braid his hair or something, right Legolas?" she said, smiling at him.

The girl perked up, "Can I?"

Legolas suddenly got a bad feeling, but ignored it, "Sure." he said.

Sophie smiled, "How about I read you a story too?"

Cashmere looked really excited now, "Yeah!"

A few minutes and children's books later, Legolas sat down on a beanbag chair with his long hair put up in pigtails that matched Cashmere's. Sophie sat giggling and pulled out her disposable camera.

"Cash, go sit by Legolas." the little girl did so, "Now smile you two!"

The two of them smiled and Sophie took a picture, and then another just in case one of them blinked. Legolas then motioned for Sophie to come closer to him.

"Huh?" Sophie asked, "What's up?"

"I wish to braid your hair. Come here." he said, beckoning to her with his finger.

"Oh no you don't!" Sophie said, scooting away from him, "I'm not going to let you put my hair up in some funny style!"

He scooted closer, a mischievous glint in his eye, "Come here."

Sophie stood slowly, he did as well, "Legolas, no." she said firmly, trying to be serious.

He took a step towards her, she backed off, "Legolas." she attempted, but ended up giggling.

Suddenly, he jumped at her, she dove back with a screech, then giggled as she turned to run away. But she wasn't fast enough. Legolas had his arms around her waist and was dragging her back over towards Cashmere. Sophie struggled, giggles turning into laughter as she attempted to escape. But to no avail, Legolas held her tightly.

"Alright, my little assistant, hold her down." Legolas said gently lowering Sophie to the floor on her stomach, where Cashmere sat on her back and held her down.

Sophie had no choice but to submit to whatever Legolas had planned, though she did so reluctantly and put up quite a struggle. But, eventually she stilled, and waited for him to finish extracting his revenge. However, when Cashmere smiled and pulled out a mirror for Sophie to view her new look, she stared in shock. Legolas had put her hair up into a beautiful braid. It gave her a more regal and wild look, though the combination seemed impossible.

"You're so pretty Soph!" Cashmere said, sighing dreamily.

Sophie turned, "You-you are magic!"

Legolas shook his head, "Nay, I merely put your up." he said, "You are a true beauty, my lady Sophie."

Sophie smiled shyly, "T-thank you."

He kissed her hand, "You are most definitely welcome." he said, grabbing the camera, "Lady Cashmere, would you please use this …" Legolas looked to Sophie for help.

"Camera." Sophie filled in, "To take a picture."

"Sure!" Cashmere said, grabbing the camera.

"Hold on honey!" said Sophie, "Your skill at hair styling remains unmatched, however, I would like to remove these, may I?" she asked, gesturing to the pigtails Legolas currently wore in his hair.

Cashmere nodded, smiling as Sophie removed them. A picture later, Sophie and Legolas said their goodbyes and walked out of the bookstore, Sophie with her camera at hand. It was around noon, and Sophie was figuring that they should grab some ice cream down at the parlor, then maybe catch a movie at the theater. Legolas would definitely be fascinated by that.

"So, why do you think you came here from Middle Earth?" Sophie asked, licking her strawberry ice cream cone.

Legolas smirked from behind his cone of vanilla, "So you believe me?"

Sophie shrugged, "You're either a very, very good actor, or telling the truth. From what I've gathered, it is the second. You're a good man, Legolas, and I am going to help you. I have no idea how, but we'll get you home."

"Aye, Lady Sophie, I trust you will."

Sophie laughed, "I do not understand why you call me that."

Legolas was perplexed, "Call you what?"

"You often alternate, but just now, you called me 'lady' again."

"I apologize if it offends you-"

"No, no." Sophie said, holding up her hands, "It is just, I am nothing near a lady."

Legolas shook his head, "Nay, you are quite the lady."

"I most certainly am not."

"Give me an example of when you aren't a lady."

Sophie looked as if she were really wracking her brain for answers, then smiled, "When I do this." she said, scraping some of her ice cream on her cheek and laughing at his surprised look.

Legolas chuckled, "And I am not a good man when I do this, Lady Sophie." he said, poking her on the tip of her nose with his own cone.

This started a war that ended when Sophie surrendered, and both of them had to go to the bathroom to wipe their faces. Soon after, it was off to the movie theater, where they watched Pirates of the Caribbean. As Sophie thought he would be, Legolas was indeed fascinated. Later, they walked back to the diner for dinner, and after saying goodbye to Cuddles again, were on their way home, full and relaxed.

"I thank you for today, Sophie, that was …" Legolas seemed to be searching for the correct word.

"Fun?"

"Aye, fun. Very much so."

"I'm glad." Sophie said, "When we get home, we can relax and watch another movie if you'd like, then it's off to bed. I have to clean my house up for my parents tomorrow, and then I have class as well."

"Class?"

"Karate."

"Ah! You said that before."

"Yes, you can either stay at home, or you can come watch, whichever you like."

"I would like to come and watch."

Sophie smiled, and hoped to the heavens that Darnel wouldn't be there tomorrow, "Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you …."


So that's it for today. Tomorrow, there will be another update in honor of Valentine's Day. See, I wasn't going to put up a whole chaper about grandma's birthday party, but as a Valentine's day gift to you all (spread the love) I shall make one. It will not have much romance in it, but a ton of humor (keep in mind that it is my twisted humor). Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, and may you have the happiest Valentines day full of love (while I remain single :P)! Love you all!