Disclaimer; I do NOT own anything!

Mild course language

All mistakes are my own.


I can't stop my eyes as they drift down to her lips, they look so soft. I just want to kiss them, and before I know what I'm doing, my lips are on hers. I slipping my eyes shut, trying to take everything in, the feeling, the taste of her lips. Every single cliché I can think of comes to mind, kissing her. It's better than anything I've ever felt before. Pulling away, I look deep into her eyes, searching for anything. But brown, emotionless eyes stare back at me.


Shit! Shit! SHIT! Did I really just do that. Oh crap she is looking at me, what do I say?

"I... Um... I'm really sorry, I don't know what came over me." I whisper, still staring into her eyes, she isn't giving anything away. "Listen.. I don't know what to say...I'm sorry, we can just forget that ever happened" I suggest before brushing past her and rushing out of the room, wiping away the tears that are now falling freely. I am silently thankful that the school is pretty much empty, as I burst into the girls bathroom. I hate crying in front of people, I was brought up to believe that crying is a sign of weakness. I sigh softly as I feel the cold water on my hands, and I splash my face.


I've been sat in my car for the past five minutes trying to calm myself, even though mom has calmed down a lot since she kicked Russell out, our relationship is still strained at times. But I've made my decision.. I am telling my mom tonight.

"Hey mom, I'm home." I call as I walk through the front door, part of me hoping she doesn't reply and I get a bit of time to prepare myself before telling her. My call is met with silence, so I drop my bag on the sofa and jog over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. As I close the fridge door, I take a second to look around, knowing that tonight could be the last time I ever step foot in this kitchen again. I swipe my hand across my cheek, removing those damn tears again. I have to do something, sing something that will give me the confidence to tell my mother the truth tonight.

Running into my room, I rush over to my laptop, to find the perfect song to pour my emotional into... I stop abruptly... Wow, I sounded a lot like Rachel there, that's kind of creepy. Shaking that thought off, I scroll through my playlist reading each title carefully. Than I see the perfect song, I can't stop the smirk that takes over my lips. I look back just to check my bedroom door is shut before I begin to sing. Hitting play, I take one big deep breath before really singing my heart out, for the first time.

Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me

I move to stand in front of the mirror as I sing, I want to look myself in the eyes as I get ready to admit something so life changing but well overdue.

Every day, is as if I play apart
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool
My heart

My mask has been fading for a while, and honestly I am sick of wearing it, today I take it off forever.

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

Making eye contact with my reflection, I think back to all the things that made me the fake person I am today.

I am now
In a world where I have to
Hide my heart
And what I believe in

I believe that, I should be able to be the real me, without backlash. Even though I know that may not happen, I have to try. I owe myself that much.

But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that i'm
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

When can I openly be me? Will my mother accept me? Will my friends accept me? Right now, I don't even care because I accept me and that's what is important.

There's a heart that must
Be free to fly
That burns with a need
To know the reason why

Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide?

I won't hide myself anymore because I just can't. I am not ashamed to admit who I am or who I love.

I won't pretend that i'm
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflections show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflections show
Who I am inside?

I close my eyes as I sing out the final note, I picture Rachel, remember what it was like to kiss her, imagine what it would be like for her to say she loves me too. Picturing her in front of me as I sing.

I open my eyes after a long moment, to see I am crying AGAIN. Three times in one day, wow being gay is emotional, I chuckle lightly at my own joke. Suddenly there is a loud bang from downstairs, I still can't stop the flinch that occurs when I hear a door banging, no matter where I am.

"Quinnie, dear I'm home." My mom's feminine voice calls up to me, I can feel my body relax at hearing her voice. I take a few deep breaths before going downstairs, if I going to do this, I am going to do it now, before I wimp out and bail. When I reach the living room, I can see my mom flicking through the channels on the telly.

"Mom?" I whisper, but she hears me, her head whips round and she looks at me full of concern. "Can I talk to you?" I ask with a bit more of confidence in my voice. I can feel her eyes studying my face for a minute before she nods. Slowly I make my way over to the sofa she is sat on, I carefully lower myself down, suddenly so worried about how she is going to react. "Mom... I have something important to tell you." I whisper, knowing it is now or never.

"Mom... I'm gay." I manage looking down waiting for her to shout or scream, and kick me out. But there is only silence, I hesitate before looking up...


Yup more cliffhangers, they are fun :P

Song; Reflection - Christina Aguilera