Mercy Killing
Chapter Five: Marriage

All in all, Kairi had a total of four broken ribs, a punctured lung, three cracked ribs, a nasty bruise on her cheekbone, and a twisted ankle. The first hit had landed on her head, and she was lucky her skull hadn't cracked as easily as her ribs had.

But she was fine, the medic-nin taking care of the lung and broken bones quickly and efficiently. She was going to have to 'take it easy' for a day or two while the bruise cleared up and the wounds fully healed, but otherwise she was fighting fit once again.

And pissed as hell.

"He hit me!" She raged, glaring at the doorway. She was back in her room, sitting on her bed, back propped up against the wall, a jug of chocolate milk between her knees. "He fucking hit me. Twice!" She yelled again, throwing her pillow at the wall opposite. She winced slightly, the movement straining her healing bones.

Kankurou regarded her coolly, sitting beside her on the bed. He took a swig of the chocolate milk, taking it out of her grasp, and then handed it back to her before he spoke up. "Why do you put up with it?" He asked as she took a hearty drink of the chocolatey liquid. "Why don't you just leave him once and for all."

Kairi looked at him in surprise, as if the thought had never occurred to her. "Kankurou-" she started, voice soft with confusion.

Kankurou cut her off, raising his voice slightly. "He hits you, for Gods sake! He threatens to kill you. You can never be public, and you'll never, ever be allowed to be more than a mistress too him, Kairi. Why do you put up with it?" He repeated his original question, turning to face her. He was sitting close, their sides touching. Kairi sighed, looking down morosely at the jug of milk.

"I- I don't know," she mumbled. When she thought about it, really thought about it, she knew this relationship was bad. It was violent, it was angry. It was a roller coaster of emotions as they both struggled for dominance, their needs and desires conflicting at every point where they intersected, shooting out sparks. And Kankurou had a point – soon, the council would require Gaara take a wife, to give him an heir. A proper wife.

Kairi's shoulders hunched, and she bit her lip. She was far from a proper wife. She was a bastard child from a small, poor, unknown family with absolutely no heritage to speak of. She was childish, obnoxious, loud and eccentric. And she was only a Chunin – not even good by shinobi standards.

And she was sick of hiding their relationship. She was sick of not being able to kiss him, or hold his hand, or go on a walk with him in public. The only time she really got actual contact with him, when they weren't sneaking around in the shadows, was when they were training. And since the recent war, Kankurou had had to take up her training instead of Gaara, who was swamped with paperwork and diplomatic negotiations. She rarely ever got to see him, unless she managed some time to hang out with him while he worked, which lets face it, isn't exactly what you'd call "quality time together".

"Do you love him?" Kankurou asked, suddenly, voice invading the silence that had fallen as she thought.

Kairi blinked. She'd never thought about it before, not really. Did she? And once again she found herself confused, conflicted, and slightly angry at herself. How could she not know the answer to this question? He loved her. She knew he did. She loved him back... right? Right?

Kairi groaned, burying her face in her hands. "I don't know," she grumbled, resisting the urge to claw her eyes out from sheer stress. Kankurou slid his arm around her, pulling her into a hug.

"Do you love me?" He asked, voice soft and serious. Kairi opened her mouth to answer with an 'of course I do, you idiot', but then she realized what he meant. He didn't mean in a platonic sort of way. He meant love-love.

Kairi swallowed hard, pulling out of the embrace. "I'm gonna go start dinner," she muttered, quickly leaving, abandoning her chocolate milk on the bed.

Kankurou stared at the door long after she left, wondering how he could work this to his advantage.

X.x.X.x.X

Once Kairi made it to the kitchen, quickly missing her chocolate milk, she realized that it was way too early to start dinner. Sighing, she figured she'd go see Gaara. She missed him, a guilty knot forming in her stomach because of her earlier conversation with Kankurou, and she needed to sort her emotions out. Figure things out.

Did she love him? Did he love her? Where was this relationship going? Or was it just going to be hidden forever?

Kairi bit her lip, wondering what that would mean. If their relationship was going to be a secret forever, could she handle that? She didn't know. And it hurt her to realize that maybe she didn't love him. Maybe they really were going to break up – and this time, forever.

Gnawing on her bottom lip, which was quickly becoming a nervous habit for her when there was no chocolate nearby to assuage her nerves, she made her way to Gaara's bedroom. After that mornings fiasco, he was probably sulking in his room, doing the paperwork in there instead of his office.

And sure enough, when she peaked into the room, there he was, laying on his stomach flicking his pencil as he read over some – you guessed it – paperwork. Kairi smiled, sitting beside him on the bed. "You work too much," she mumbled, reaching to rub his shoulders. But his sand moved up, blocking her path, and she frowned, dropping them back into her lap.

Gaara didn't look at her, didn't respond in any way. "I'm sorry," Kairi finally mumbled. "I shouldn't have pissed you off like that." Suddenly, the age difference between them was painfully clear to Kairi. He was so mature, so disciplined. But she still threw childish temper tantrums. He was 19, she was 15.

Then Gaara looked at her, and he sighed. "Why are you apologizing?" He asked after a moment of taking in her appearance. Her face was bruised, and beneath the thin white T-shirt she wore, he could see all of the bandages and the darker bruises across her chest and stomach. His eyes saddened, and he looked away. "It was my fault. I'm sorry."

Kairi smiled. "It's okay."

And they lapsed back into silence, content that the incident had been resolved. But those other questions nagged at Kairi, making her nervous, making her crave her precious chocolate milk.

"Do you love me?" Kairi asked, suddenly breaking the silence. Gaara looked up at her, slightly startled.

"Why do you ask?" Gaara asked, looking suspicious despite the fact his face was its normal, blank expression.

Kairi sighed. "Please just answer me."

Gaara looked at her a long time, body still, and his eyes seemed considering. After what felt like forever, he gave her one of his rare, gorgeous smiles that made her melt into her shoes, and said, "Yes, yes I do."

Kairi smiled, flattered, her face blushing bright red. She looked away, suddenly feeling bashful, and attempting to hide her own uncertainty. But Gaara didn't ask her if she loved him back. He seemed content, almost, with the fact that he loved her, and that if she loved him she would say it in her own time. That he couldn't force her to love anything.

Kairi laid down next to him, snuggling up beside him in the bed, and made a small, contented noise similar to a purr. Gaara glanced at her, then continued working on his paperwork.

After another long stretch of silence, Kairi posed her next question. "Where are we?"

"My bedroom," Gaara replied, totally focused on his work.

"No, I mean... where is our relationship?" Gaara looked up from his work then, giving her a concerned glance.

"Kairi? Is there something wrong?" he asked, sitting up, looking down at her with worry. "Did something happen?"

Kairi sat up, looking alarmed. "No! No, oh no. It's just something that Kankurou said. It made me think."

"About what?" Gaara asked, still not completely convinced that she was fine.

Kairi blushed, looking down at the dark gold comforter she was kneeling on. "About our relationship," she mumbled. Then she looked up at him, looking worried and upset, and it bothered Gaara. He would need to have a talk with Kankurou about whatever he had told her. "Are we going to keep it a secret forever?"

It was Gaara's turn to look away now. He had purposefully been avoiding this exact line of questioning since they got together the first time. Because he still hadn't found a way around it. "Kairi, I'm the Kazekage."

"I know." She said, giving him a 'no duh' sort of look. "Why does that matter?"

Gaara sighed, running a hand through his hair. He wasn't sure how to put this – he didn't want her getting mad at him, but he couldn't lie to her either. Once again, he was reminded of just how very young she was, and wondered, not for the first time, if this had been a good idea or not. "It means I have responsibilities," he said, looking her in the eye. "It means I have to marry a proper woman, who will give me an heir."

Kairi looked away. "So what does that mean for us?"

"The marriage is a contract, Kairi. It doesn't mean anything. It wouldn't mean I'd love you any less."

The look Kairi shot him was angry and hurt. "But it means you'd get kiss her, hold her hand, talk to her in public. While the whole time, I'm the dirty mistress, right? It does mean something, Gaara."

Gaara winced. "It wouldn't be like that."

"Are you actually suggesting that you marry some haughty princess so she can have your kids, while you and me fuck on the side?"

Gaara glared at her now, annoyed. "Do you really want kids, Kairi? You couldn't be a kunoichi. Your dream, down the toilet right there. And you'd have to be a noblewoman. You'd have to wear formal clothing, attend meetings and functions, behave properly."

Kairi looked even more pissed off. "I don't' care about that. I want to marry you."

Gaara frowned, getting to his feet. "Well I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you never will." And with that he walked out of the room, leaving an upset, confused Kairi behind. She sniffled, wiping the tears away, and glared after him. He was not getting out of this one so easily.

A/N: Whoot! Plot! Heck yes!