Chapter Two: Memories
Torak was far from anywhere now and back to where he belonged. The Moors. Renn was no longer questioning his motions and they just travelled along happily. Occasionally she would pressure him to get what she wanted and to go the way she thought was best but whenever that happened he found it easier just to play it her way. Wolf and Darkfur had stopped their weird howling and nearly everything had gone back to normal. Nearly everything. Torak still knew Renn was hiding something. He figured she'd tell him in her own time. They weren't far from his Fa's resting spot now. He could feel it. Something inside him jumped every time he saw or feltsomething familiar. They had past the river which he found Wolf. Wolf had recognized the place as well as Torak. He was sorrow and whined for hours but afterwards, once they had left he got over it very quickly and went back to Darkfur and Pebble. The river meant a lot to Torak. It's where it all began for Wolf and Torak.
"I think I know where were going," Renn said quietly. Renn turned her head round from in front of him. She smiled a smile he hadn't seen in a long time. Her toothy grin. She was much older now and had more feminine and beautiful features. He loved the new Renn but seeing this smile again was… Well, he was just speechless. He did miss the old days very much.
"This is where I captured you and Wolf. I noticed a while ago but I waited for you to say something. This is you home, Torak?"
"Its home," Torak said warmly. Renn walked forward and held his shoulders.
"Why didn't you say anything? You know I would of let you come. Was it a surprise?"
"Yes, I wanted to ah… surprise you," Torak lied as smoothly as he could. He looked at the open forest around him. It was here. Right here. He had been so distracted before he wasn't looking where he was going. But he was here in the spot. He didn't know how he knew; there was nothing here to remember it by. But he just knew. Torak walked up to the biggest tree and rubbed his hand against it before embracing it in a hug.
Renn giggled behind him. "What are you doing Torak?"
"Its home!" Torak shouted turning around to face her with a smile that reached to the moon. "Its home! Its home! ITS HOME!" Wolf came sprinting over from wherever he wandered off to and jumped up on Torak; paws on his shoulder.
"It's home Wolf! Were home!" Wolf jumped down and whined happily. He ran back into the forest coming back minute's later with Pebble and Darkfur. Renn was distracted with the cheerful wolves so Torak took it as a moment to escape. Torak quickly sprinted away hoping to God Wolf wouldn't follow. He sprinted down the weedy hill dodging logs, rocks and branches poking out at him. A branch scratched near his eye but he ignored it and ran forward at full speed. He saw the lake in the distance, the lake from his dream. He knew it well, his Fa and him liked to live in this area. It had everything. He ran to the edge of the lake and dropped beside it. He stared in at himself. Torak looked rough and hard in his reflection; I guess I have been going a bit hard-core lately, Torak thought. Staring at his reflection he didn't know what he expected to see.
"Talk to me," Torak said frustrated. "Fa?" Torak paused looking down at the water. "Torak? Myself?" Waste of bloody time, Torak thought bitterly standing back up and heading for the hill. He wasted all his time trying to get here to see his Fa or… himself for nothing.
"Torak," a voice said behind him. He spun round quickly and finally tripped over one of the million rocks. It was himself again. Though this time not a reflection but a real person. Almost like a doppelganger.
"Torak?" Torak said back to it.
"You came. I didn't think you would," The other Torak said calmly.
"Didn't think I'd come? After what you left me with?" Torak said frustrated. His voice was raising but he managed to keep it quiet so Renn wouldn't hear. "Narrander? What's that suppose to mean?"
The other Torak smiled at him. "You must kill Narrander, Torak."
"What!" Torak shouted. He couldn't help himself. It was too sudden. Kill Narrander? Narrander wasn't evil. This 'doppelganger' had to catch up with the now.
"You know it Torak. He's a Soul-Eater!"
"Not any more he isn't!"
The other Torak shook his head. "Don't be silly Torak. No one ever stops being a Soul-Eater."
"Fa did! He stopped!"
"He stopped because he died." He heard Wolf's paws pounding down the hill behind him.
"Cut the mark off he did. Because he can! That's how you quit and Narrander has quit." Wolf came to his side cocking his head at the other Torak. He moaned quietly.
"Torak!" Renn shouted. Torak turned around. Her face was creased with worry. When Torak turned back around the doppelganger was gone.
.
Torak wandered slowly throw the forest. Renn was in front of him carrying all the bags and tracking. He knew he should help her but he was so… depressed. He dragged Renn and the wolves all the way here for some stupid hallucination. Renn saw the other Torak and hadn't mentioned a thing about it. She just said 'lets go' and off they went. Wolf had completely forgot the situation because he lived in the 'now.' So Torak was left with no one to talk to. Kill Narrander? What was the doppelganger thinking? Narrander was a good guy. He saved Renn and himself about a year ago. Up in front Renn stopped and told him hastily to sit down. He watched as she set up the shelter. She did the weird pushing thing with her feet again. But he was to mushed up in his own drama to concentrate on hers. She finished the shelter and he climbed inside instantly falling to sleep…
"Back again?" Torak had fallen from the sky again on to a palmy beach. He looked out into the ocean. He was on the Seal Island. This beach was familiar… It was Black Beach. Just around the corner was the Eagle Heights. "Torak?" Said the voice again. Torak looked around for the stranger. The other Torak.
"What do you want! I just saw you this morning!" Torak shouted at himself. "I'm not going to follow you here if that's what you wanting."
"You don't have to come here Torak. I just need to talk to you again. We didn't finish before. That girl interrupted last time."
"That girl. Is Renn, my girl," Torak growled.
The other Torak raised his hands up. "I know. Sorry. Have you thought about finding Narrander?"
"HE'S GOOD!"
"He's a Soul-Eater Torak! Soul-Eaters aren't good!" The other Torak rushed out.
"I'm sick of this. It's the same argument over and over! How do I leave? I want to go. WAKE UP TORAK!" he shouted marching into the water. He was going to drown himself till he woke up.
"I wouldn't do that if I was you," The other Torak said.
"You wouldn't do anything I would do."
"You'll die," The other Torak said more urgently.
Torak sighed. "That's kind of the point." Torak trudged throw the water as it splashed up against his clean clothes. Doesn't matter now, this is just a dream.
"But it's not a dream Torak. You are here," The other Torak said. "You will drown." Torak stopped and turned around.
"I'm really here?"
"Yes."
"Then your real."
"No."
"Then what is this? Stop annoying me!" The other Torak tutted as Torak slipped on a rock into the water. Bloody rocks, Torak thought bitterly. He sat up straight one minute in the sea the next in the shelter Renn had made. More dreams, Torak thought angrily. He decided to ignore it though and get on with his new life. He had a family. Sort of. Close enough to a family any way. He climbed out of the shelter to see Renn packed up again and sitting by a tree.
"Ready to go?" She said with out waiting for an answer she stood up and walked off. Torak ran after her and grabbed her arm.
"Are you dodging me Renn?" He asked slyly.
"No."
"Why are you so keen to get away? Where are you heading?" Torak laughed, thinking of Renn asking him the same thing.
"Ironic," Renn snapped. "Coming from you."
Torak was taken back. "Where are you heading Renn?"
"Don't be naïve Torak!" Renn shouted. "You know where I'm heading!"
"The Seal Islands?" Torak asked quietly.
"The Seal Islands!" Renn scoffed. "I'm going home!" Torak fumbled backwards.
"Home?" Torak squeaked. "You said you wanted to be here with me!" Torak accused.
"I don't any more. Is the good enough?" Renn stepped forward on her tiptoes. "It's fine! I just wish you said something sooner. I had so much I could of done!" Torak stepped closer and stood over her. He was much taller now.
"Like going to the Seal Islands?"
"Yes. I have actual family there. Not like here, obviously," Torak thought it was a bit harsh but she was being just as bad back.
"Don't give me that crap Torak. I heard you moaning in your sleep. I saw that thing that looked like you. You're obsessed with danger! You made me follow you all the way to The Moors because some weird doppelganger thing told you too. Its over Torak, don't you see that?"
"I never told you to come. You can leave right now and I wouldn't even care."
"If that's how you feel we might as well split now!" Renn growled. He saw the tears in her eyes sneaking out even though she was trying so hard to keep it in.
"I think your right," Torak said coolly. She turned around her long hair flicking him in the face. She picked up her pack and marched off. Wolf whined looking up at Torak. "With me?" Torak asked.
"Always Pack-brother." Wolf said back. Torak and Renn split and took off in there own directions; Renn towards the Raven clan, Torak heading for The Sea. He had just made up his mind about the 'Narrander' situation when talking to Renn. He was taking the bait. He was going to Black Beach to hear the second part of the doppelgangers story. He travelled with Wolf, Darkfur and Pebble for weeks, through the forest. Some days he felt like turning around and running back to Renn but the fight they had was not little, far from it. Wolf was a little depressed on the journey. Torak had a feeling Darkfur wanted to go with Renn and was tearing Wolf in two different directions. But in the end they stayed with Torak the whole way through. Wolf was frustrated to see Torak had led him back to The Sea again but for Torak's sake he got in the canoe when Asrif and Declan came to meet them at the beach. They smiled and welcomed Torak with high spirits. Thy asked where Renn was but he told them she was a little sick to come. Darkfur was reluctant to get in the canoe but Pebble jumped in excitedly. Pebble sailed with Asrif and Darkfur went with Detlan. Wolf and Torak sailed on there own drifting behind so they could just see the others in the distance. He thought of Renn. How angry Fin Kedinn would be when he saw Renn come home neglected. How could Torak show his face there again? Only one way, Torak thought solemnly. Never go back. He had a job to do and it seemed like that job was not yet over and maybe it would never be over… Wolf started to whin so Torak put his concentration on making sure Wolf didn't jump out. Wolf was starting to enjoy the water a little more which Torak was pleased to see.
It took three days to reach the biggest of the islands, The Seal Island. Three days left Torak a lot of time to think about Renn but maybe it was good for him. Maybe it deserved him right for leaving her. She wouldn't want to come with him anyway, he thought though knowing somewhere inside though that it wasn't true. Everyone was extremely happy to see Torak and the wolves again. The seal children were fascinated with the wolves as much as the wolves were with them. The Clan leader and the new mage were thrilled to see Torak back though they too questioned where 'the beautiful Renn' was. After lots of cheerful kisses and hugs he told Islinn the Seal Clan leader what he was really there for. Islinn was so happy to see Torak and Wolf he promised Torak a ride to the Black Beach first thing tomorrow morning. Islinn assigned two young ladies about Torak's age to show him to his tent. They were very giggly and flirty. Torak admits they were quite attractive, but he was still down buzzed about Renn to even bother to talk to them. After countless attempts at trying to catch Torak's interest the two girls let him be. He was put in to a tent by himself, which he was so grateful for. He slipped into his sleeping sack to get ready for sleep. He was just dozing off when Wolf came pounding in with Darkfur and Pebble.
"Pack-brother," Torak said to Wolf as a goodnight. "Pack-sister," he said to Darkfur who whined the greeting back to him and he scratched Pebble's belly until he finally drifted to sleep.
.
Renn watched the Raven clan from in the trees. She watched the kids that had grown so much shoot arrows across the grassy plain. Enough watching, she thought. Be brave. She pushed throw the bush and walked towards the place she remembered to be the Clan leaders tent. The young children stared at her like she was a scary stranger invading their camp. She smiled at one of the little girls she recognised to be Oslak and Bera's daughter.
"Enna?" Is it you? Its Renn remember?" Renn stopped to look at the little girl. Enna looked around at the other children then back to Renn.
"Renn?" She said in her cute little voice. She looked so much like Oslak it made Renn's chest ache. Renn smiled at her and dropped to her knees. Enna recognised her at last and ran up to Renn before giving her a massive hug.
"Renn your back," she squeaked.
"I've missed you baby," Renn kissed Enna on the check. "Can you tell me where Fin Kedinn is?" Enna pointed over to the Mage's tent. Renn gave her a last hug before making her way to the tent. She dropped the bags on the ground and stepped into the tent. Fin Kedinn was locked in an intense conversation with Dark. She turned to step back out feeling a bit rude. Why didn't she knock?
"Renn?" She heard Dark say from behind her. She turned around sheepishly smiling. Fin Kedinn was smiling at her, his eyes shining. How long had she been away? He looked so much older. Dark ran up to Renn picking her up in a bear hug and swung her around and around. "What are you doing here Renn?" Dark shouted excitedly. "Torak? Where's Torak?"
Renn looked at Fin Kedinn then back at Dark. "We have a lot to talk about."
"Where is Torak now Renn?" Fin Kedinn said. His face was expressionless. Was he angry with her? She couldn't tell. She knew she shouldn't of left Torak. She felt terrible. She had been crying all the way here from The Moors. Her eyes were so swollen. What if something happened to Torak? He didn't know what he was doing. He needed her as much as she really needed him.
"I think he's at The Seal Islands. That what the doppelganger thing said to go," Renn said quietly.
"I'm not angry at you Renn. I'm just worried for Torak," Fin Kedinn sighed. "Now go find Dark, you'll be sleeping with him tonight. I've got things to think about." Fin Kedinn stood up from the fire and wandered off into the trees. Renn picked up the bucket of water and poured it over the fire. She walked off to the tent where Dark was waiting. He was on his side of the tent sitting on his sleeping sack waiting to hear what Fin Kedinn had said.
"Are you going to go back for Torak?" Dark asked quietly. Renn sat on her sleeping sack and crawled in.
"I don't know if I can," Renn said truthfully. She hadn't told anyone about the baby, her baby yet. Maybe she could talk to Bera tomorrow.
"Why not Renn? What if he's in danger?"
"He's got the wolves and Fin Kedinn will help him some how," Renn said.
"But it's your job, Renn!" Dark said angrily. "You're meant to look after him!"
"I know you're worried Dark but he'll be so fine. There is nothing to worry about," Renn snapped back. She wasn't in the mood for more judging. "I want to sleep. I'll talk to you in the morning." Dark didn't reply leaving Renn a chance to finally get a comfy night sleep.
The next morning they had a big breakfast to welcome Renn home. Fin Kedinn told no one of the reason Renn was there but as far as every knew it was just a lovely visit. Renn told everyone Torak was busy with The Seals. It was the truth after all. Fin Kedinn hadn't updated her about the Torak situation and it seemed as though he had almost forgotten it. Though Dark had defiantly not.
"Bera, can we talk in private?" Renn asked Bera one morning. Bera was washing Enna in the lake a long with lots of other mothers and their children.
"Of course dear," she said sweetly. "Darike, can you look after Enna?" Darike nodded and Bera took Renn away from the lake, half way up the hill till they reached a good distance from the others.
"Important is it?" Bera asked.
Renn didn't know where to begin. "I um... have a little problem. Not really a problem just a thing. Oh God! It's not a thing either. It's just… I need help," Renn blubbed and tears started to pour from her eyes.
"Is it Torak sweetheart? Did he do something?" Bera grabbed Renn's shoulder and took her in an embrace.
"He did something. Its not bad or anything, just a bit unfortunate… at the present time," There was nothing Bera could say to make Renn say the P word. It just wasn't going to happen.
"Did you two – what's the right word? – brake up?"
"No, of course not. Well I don't really know what you mean by that. I guess you could say that… No I'm not sure really," Renn said cocking her head to the side.
"Just tell me what happened dear? All right?"
"Well it was such a mistake. Its not like we planned it or… well I don't think we planned it. We didn't talk about it if that's what you think I mean. It's just…"
"Renn, your going to have to tell me straight up or I can't help you," Bera said. Renn could hear the sympathy in her voice. Renn sighed and pointed to her stomach. "Oh dear you have point on weight…" Bera went quiet for a minute. Then finally showed a sign she was alive; she gasped. "No way Renn!"
"Don't tell anyone please Bera!" Renn gasped shaking Bera's shoulders.
"No I wouldn't dear. But you, pregnant? Is it Torak's? The baby, I mean?" Renn nodded sadly. Bera helped Renn right away. First thing first she had Renn move to her shelter with Enna and herself. Renn was quite thankful for this Dark wouldn't stop blaming her for Torak's disappearance. Bera had sworn she had told no one about the baby but something about the way Fin Kedinn treated her made her think he knew. He gave her extra food. All ways gave Renn his seat. He acted like she was extra fragile. Renn hated being the soft one. She could always look after herself and having a child didn't change that. So she was a little hurt Torak had left her after he promised to stay with her through whatever happens. He didn't know she was pregnant and if he did and probably would of stayed with her. Or she just hopes he would of. Bera was teaching Renn everything she knew about raising a child. Bera had to do everything alone after Oslak's death and it seemed clear that Bera thought the same thing was going to happen to Renn. Bera left Renn alone with Enna often, maybe just to prepare her or something. Renn thought she did well with Enna. Enna did seem to like her, a lot. Bera was always talking about baby names with Renn, but she had already thought of that the moment she found out she was pregnant. If it was a girl she had decided to call her Seshru. People would defiantly look down on Renn for naming her daughter after a Soul-Eater, but Seshru wasn't just a Soul-Eater she was her mother and deep down it actually meant something to Renn. Her mother was going to turn her into a Tokoroth but for some unknown reason Renn didn't think her mother would do that in the end. A mother and daughter bond isn't just in writing. Its through body, head, heart and for them; mage art.
.
"Can you two wait here? I want to see this alone," Torak said to Detlan and Asrif. They nodded and wandered down the beach. Torak waited till they were out of view to speak to his doppelganger.
"Torak?" he said out towards the rocks where he once was in his dream.
"I thought you said you weren't coming here," The other Torak said popping out from in the trees.
"Change of plans. I'm guessing your going to take me somewhere else though, are you?"
"These are just settings Torak. I'm here to see you. To convince you what you must do," The other Torak said calmly.
"Kill Narrander? I know, you've told me, again and again AND again!"
"I'll stop telling you once you finally decide to do it. I see the young Renn is no longer with you. Good work."
"Yes well… I never needed her," it ached for Torak to say this. But better to stick it in his mind and the worst it will feel later.
"True. True. Now would you like to know where Narrander is?"
"Yes," said Torak. "But not to kill him."
"Yes, we'll see about that. I can't exactly tell you where he is though. I'm not aloud. It's meant to be a challenge for you. I don't know why, but I've been bound to tell you just one thing."
"Just tell me where he is. Your boss, or whoever it is won't find out," Torak said in a mischief tone.
"He will though. He always knows. Never mind about that though I'm not actually meant to tell you that stuff. I'm just meant to say:
'May the truth come out through twisted dreams,
Narrander, son of kings and queens,
You can only find what you need,
This is what can take the lead,
Through caves, rivers, those things at best,
But alas the heart will do the rest."
"And how long did it take you to make that up? A day? A week?" Torak scoffed.
"It's a prophecy, Torak. Your to take it seriously."
"I am taking it seriously. I'm just appreciating the time it took you to come up with that little poem."
"Think it over, Torak," The doppelganger walked backwards into the trees till Torak could no longer see him.
"Catch you later then!" Torak was joking on the outside but in the inside. This was just too creepy. But most of all he was plain pissed. Wasn't all this stuff meant to be over? Isn't he meant to have a life now? Or maybe that's it. He's never aloud to have a personnel life, ever. Have a mate wasn't aloud, Renn or any children. Well that's just fine, Torak thought. I would be a terrible father anyway.
May the truth come out through twisted dreams,
Narrander, son of kings and queens,
You can only find what you need,
This is what can take the lead,
Through caves, rivers, those things at best,
But alas the heart will do the rest.
Caves? Rivers? No help there because there is plenty of those everywhere. The heart will do the rest?
"Perfect," said Torak aloud. "I'll just wait for my heart to tell me. Easy peasy."
