Second Chances

xxxxx

"Hinata?"

His hand was brushing a lock of hair behind my ear. I looked up into two smirking black eyes. "Everything all right?"

I looked back just in time to see long black locks disappear around a corner. My heart clenched and I pushed down the twinge of hurt as I did every day. "Yeah, everything's fine."

Sai trailed his hand down my arm and, lacing his fingers in mine, lead me through the crowded hall as the first bell rang.

And so begins today's façade.

The classroom was buzzing as it always did, people laughing as Naruto embarrassed himself again. I tried to join in, tried to be a part of the fun. But my laughter was forced and I knew my smile wasn't reaching my eyes.

Sai was sitting at the desk beside me, his arm slung casually across my shoulders, fingers absentmindedly tracing spirals on my skin. I looked up at him. He was watching Naruto and Kiba fight, clearly amused. I tried to relax against him, looking out of the window next to me, but I couldn't. Because he was there, just a few rows behind me.

But I shouldn't think about it. He didn't feel for me what I had felt for him, so what was the point. I had moved on and found someone who liked me for me.

I really did like Sai, and he liked me back. He had always been there, just flitting on the edge of everything and yet always a part of the group. I had always thought he had a crush on Ino, by the way he talked to her and treated her, when to everyone's surprise, he asked me out. And then to everyone's greater surprise, including my own, I said yes.

Being with Sai was great. He always made me laugh and kisses and compliments were never in shortage. But still I felt like something was missing. Often I wondered if all of those smiles he gave me were real, the ones that seemed too perfect, too dazzling. And when I saw him look at other girls I wondered if he wouldn't prefer to be with them. And then I would realize that I wouldn't care if he wanted someone else. I wouldn't be hurt. But I'd try to convince myself I would. I hate to admit that it didn't work.

And so I went through the day with Sai holding my hand, and me wishing I was holding someone else's. And of course he was there, in every class, almost as if to taunt me.

Seeing him still hurt. It felt as if a part of me kept dying over and over again and I hated how he made me feel that way. I hadn't meant to fall in love with him. But things happen, relationships change and feelings spring up when you least expect them.

Before, we had just been classmates, no words passed between us, no connection. But then he seemed to show up everywhere I was. We exchanged pleasantries which became conversations which grew longer and longer, though neither of us were used to talking much. Suddenly he transformed into a boy who I knew of to someone I cared deeply about. Something passed between us, or so I had thought. Sometimes I would see something in his eyes, something about himself that I knew he hadn't shown to anyone else but me. I had thought that, to him, I was special.

But once again, life stepped in and everything changed.

Just as I had finally accepted my feelings for him after wrestling with them for weeks, he began to pull away from me. When we were alone his words clipped. Our conversations became shorter and he was always mumbling an excuse before rushing off somewhere. He wouldn't look at me. Little by little I was losing him, watching as he became more and more distant. I thought that maybe I had done something wrong, maybe he knew how I felt about him and it had repulsed him. Scared, I began to pull away too.

I hardly ever heard from him after that. Our lengthy discussions and relaxed friendship become stiff small talk and awkward eye contact in the halls.

I was confused and lonely and heartbroken. I had lost my best friend and I didn't know what to do. That's when Sai came along.

Now that I look back on it I wonder if maybe I was only using Sai, using him as a substitute to fill the hole that had been punched into my life. He did, after all, look a lot like him. They had the same dark eyes, dark hair, pale skin. Same cold exterior. But being with Sai had softened the sadness. He had taken my mind off of what I had lost and for that I was grateful. But still…it just wasn't the same.

I looked at Sai again sitting next to me again in our last class. I couldn't help but feel guilty. He actually liked me, or at least I thought he did, and I was just…settling. But I had decided long ago that I couldn't waste my life mooning over someone who didn't love me back. As my father would say, I had to go on with my life, whether I was ready or not.

Sai looked down at me and smiled, his slender hands playing with my fingers. I smiled back and leaned into him, enjoying the warmth that his body offered in the cold room. When the teacher's attention was focused on the board, he grabbed my chin and tilted my hand up, pressing his lips against mine in a soft kiss. My face turned red as I felt numerous eyes watching us. He pulled back and smiled. "Thanks, I needed a little a pick-me-up to get me through this class." He whispered, and turned back to the board as though nothing had happened. I was still flushed from embarrassment

Turning my head slightly, I swept my gaze across the room to see if anyone was still watching us.

That was when our eyes met.

His black eyes bored into mine and there was something, something like anger and hurt burning behind them. But it was only for a moment, a split second before he lowered his eyes back to his desk. I turned back around, feeling confused and wondering if I had just imagined it.

As we were headed towards the main entrance after class, I suddenly remembered that I had left my book in my dask. Stopping in the middle of the hall I tugged Sai's hand. "I forgot my book. I'm going to go back and get it."

"Ok," Sai looked back at the doors, the afternoon light streaming through the glass. He looked back at me. "Look, I think I'm just going to head home. Are you alright getting home by yourself?"

"Oh yeah, of course." No, I wasn't. I hated walking home by myself, but I would never tell him that.

He flashed a smile at me. "Great. I'll see you later then." He kissed the top of my head and strode down the rest of the hall without a backwards glance. At the doors, I saw him wave and call out, "hey, Ino!" before disappearing. Shaking off the mild disappointment, I turned back skulked back to the classroom.

When I reached the door I slowly pushed it open, not wanting to disturb, and poked my head in. The teacher's desk was empty so I pushed the door open, slipping inside and gently closing the door behind me with a barely audible click. That was when I realized that I wasn't alone.

He was there.

I panicked, and instead of leaving silently like any normal person would, I stood there, trying to breathe and hoping to God that he couldn't hear my thrashing heartbeat.

But he hadn't noticed me. He was standing at his desk by the window, his backpack slumped at his feet. His head was bowed so I couldn't see his eyes beneath the curtain of soft black bangs. But his mouth was set in an angry grimace, lips pulled away slightly from clenched teeth. He looked furious. One pale hand was grasping his other hand, curled into a fist, knuckles turned white from the force. I could hear him swearing under his breath.

Suddenly he pulled back his foot and kicked the wall with more strength and anger than I had ever seen him display, cursing again loudly as he did it. I jumped back so far my back almost slammed into the door behind me, rattling the glass in the small window. Afraid he had heard me, I looked back at him. But he hadn't.

He was facing the window now, his shoulders slumped and he looked tires and defeated, something I had never seen in him before. Still holding his fist, he rested his forehead against the window pane with a deep sigh.

My heart wrenched. I hated seeing him like this, so angry and broken. Forgetting everything that had happened between us, I stepped forward and called out to him softly. "Sasuke…"

He reacted to his name, back straightening and turning abruptly to look at me with widened black eyes. For a moment we just stared at each other, unsure yet incredulous. I tried to think of something to say, but my throat closed up and it felt like every muscle was paralyzed. Time had just stopped.

Then my eyes flicked over the window. The glass pane next to where Sasuke had been resting his head was cracked, some pieces missing. Tiny traces of blood were smeared on the jagged edges. Then I looked at his hands. Beads of glittering scarlet were peeking out from beneath the hand still clutching his fist and suddenly time sped up again as I added two and two together.

"Sasuke you're hurt!" I rushed over to him, his face blank as he watched me. "Let me—" I reached for his hand and he jerked it out of my reach. Slowly he put his bleeding fist behind his back. I couldn't help but feel hurt as I looked up into his face. His empty gaze was averted to the ground. He wouldn't look me in the eyes.

"Please, Sasuke," I whispered, softly pleading with him though I hadn't meant to. "Please, just let me look at your hand." I waited for him to respond but he didn't move. Then, without looking at me, he reluctantly brought his hand out from behind his back and held it out to me. "Thank you," I said, as I gently took his proffered hand.

The skin on his knuckles was torn and bleeding badly, but it was nothing I couldn't fix easily. Slipping my backpack off of my shoulders, I set it on the desk beside me and began rummaging around. I pulled out a couple of tissues and began to dab at his hand, wiping away the blood. I could feel Sasuke's eyes watching while I worked but resisted the urge to look.

Once the blood was gone, I surveyed the damage. A few cuts but none too deep. He wouldn't need stitches, but his hand did need to be wrapped. I opened the front pocket of my bag and pulled out the handkerchief I always kept with me.

Sasuke's eyes widened when he saw the delicate white handkerchief. "Don't!" His voice was gruff as he jerked his hand out of my grasp. It was the first word he had spoken to me since I found him.

"What?" I was taken aback by his outburst.

He looked up at the wall, almost sheepishly, and mumbled out, "You'll stain it."

I looked at the handkerchief, hanging limply in my hand. It was small and creamy white, bordered by thin, delicate lace. A purple cursive 'H' was stitched onto one of the corners. My father had given it to me years ago and I had never used it. I couldn't believe Sasuke. His hand had been cut on glass and was bleeding and all he was concerned about was staining my handkerchief?

I was slightly annoyed at his lack of self-concern and reluctance to let me bandage his cuts. Exasperated, I looked him straight in the eye and held his gaze. "You're more important to me than a piece of cloth."

I heard him inhale slowly, and for a moment his body tensed up. But then he relaxed and once again, offered his hand to me.

"You're going to want to get this sanitized when you go home, and put proper bandages on it," I told him as I wound the handkerchief around his knuckles before tying it tightly and securely. I felt happier now that his wound was wrapped up. There was nothing that bothered me more than seeing someone sick or injured go untreated.

I tugged the last knot, making sure it wouldn't come undone, and smiled at him. "There. All finished." Then, with his hand still held gently in both of mine, I leaned down kissed the bandage.

And froze.

I stood there, still bent forward with my lips hovering over his hand. Mortification washed through me and dread shot up my spine. I could feel the muscles in his fingers tense. I dropped his hand as though it was a hot coal, and embarrassment forced my back to straighten. I didn't bother looking for his reaction as I spun away from him, facing the empty classroom where my cheeks could burn in private.

"I—I'm sorry," I sputtered out. "It w—was … a force of habit." When Hanabi was young I would always bandage her cuts and scrapes and then kiss them better as my mother had done for me. But never in my life had I ever done it to someone other than my sister. I touched my fingers to my lips. It had been nice though, feeling the warmth of his hand beneath the white silk. I looked at him over my shoulder. He was staring out the window again, his cheeks looking pinker than usual.

"Yeah." Was all he said.

We stood there in uncomfortable silence. Part of me wanted to leave, to just run away. But the other part of me knew I couldn't leave without saying something. I had wanted a chance fix things between me and Sasuke and now here it was. But what could I say? Was there anything I could tell him to make everything better again? To go back to how we used to be?

I was still unsure of what to say, but when I opened my mouth, words just tumbled out. Unfortunately it seemed Sasuke was experiencing the same thing, and our words overlapped.

"Why did you punch the window?"

"Why are you going out with Sai?"

I stopped. "What?"

He looked at me then, his brows furrowed and his mouth set in an angry frown. He knew I had heard him.

I was so shocked. I took a step backwards and my mouth began to flap like a fish as I struggled to find the right answer. Why was I dating Sai?

"Well, because…he likes me and I…I…" His expression hadn't changed. And then I realized I had to tell him the truth, the real reason that I would never admit to anyone. I even hid it from myself most of the time, just keeping it on the outskirts of my thoughts. "Because," I sighed, "I was tired of being alone."

He looked as though I had struck him. The brief flash of hurt in his eyes cut like a knife. He tried to say something. "I didn't—you—I never—" But once again words failed and we lapsed into silence.

I had accepted a long time ago that Sasuke did not share my feelings, but still I had to know. "What happened, Sasuke?" I whispered the words to my fidgeting fingers. "Why did you start avoiding me? I know I must have done something wrong, but I can't figu—"

Quick as lightning, Sasuke caught my hands and stilled them with his own. When I looked up at him, his face was just inches above me, his eyes staring intensely into mine. "You did nothing wrong."

"Then please, explain to me, why? I don't understand why?" My voice cracked and I could feel the start of tears pricking my eyes, but I needed answers.

He just stared at me for a few moments more, his onyx eyes searching mine for something. Gently, he released me and rubbed his hands over his face, sighing. He stepped away from me then, resting his forehead against the wall next to the windows. Limply, he raised his injured fist and half heartedly thumped it against the wall. He let his fist slide a few inches down the smooth plaster before mumbling something I couldn't make out.

"What? I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you."

"Because I was afraid!" He spoke with more force than was necessary, turning back to look at me over his shoulder.

"Afraid?" I scrubbed at my eyes. "What were you afraid of?"

"I was afraid of myself, afraid of what I was feeling…for you." The air had been sucked out of the room and I was finding it difficult to breathe. Feelings? What feelings was he talking about? "Being around you was hard."

A spark went off inside me and I felt warm with annoyance. "So you thought it was better to just ditch me? Let me wonder, all alone, if you hated me or not?" My voice was shaking and I brought my arm up to my face to try and hold back the tears of anger. I knew I was being irrational, but I couldn't help it. I didn't have very many friends, and even fewer good friends. Sasuke knew that. And still he left me alone, scared that I had lost him. The hurt came back, feeling as fresh as it had all that time ago.

And what feelings was he talking about? After all this time I still didn't know if he hated me or loved me or what. I looked at him, waiting for him to say something, anything. But he said nothing, just stared, looking frustrated, at the ground.

I took a breath and calmed myself down. I was tired of dancing around this. If he wasn't to say something, then I would.

"I liked you, Sasuke," I said, my voice sounding more normal than I expected. "But you didn't seem to notice." His head snapped up and his eyes looked sad. "When you started to avoid me I figured it meant that you didn't feel the same. It hurt, but I got over it, I moved on. I'm…happy now." I hoped my voice didn't waver too much and continued on strongly. "Maybe we could have been together, but it's too late now. I hope…I hope we can still be friends."

Sasuke's face was turned away from me and his hands were curled into fists at his sides. His eyes were closed and I couldn't tell what he was feeling. Why was he so quiet? I wanted to shake him and scream at him if only to get a reaction.

I had laid everything out and now I felt like a complete idiot. Sasuke's silence only seemed to confirm that. I wanted to leave. I couldn't be there anymore. All I wanted was my book, I hadn't intended for any of this to happen. Without another word, I turned around and dashed, heartbroken, for the door.

Before I got there, a large, warm hand closed around my wrist and whipped me back around. A strong arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me hard against a muscular chest. I barely got out a breathy gasp before Sasuke pressed his mouth against mine.

It took a long moment for me to realize that was kissing me, but once I did, I immediately began to kiss back. Wrapping my arms around his neck, Sasuke pressed me closer to him, deepening our kiss. It was more desperate, more passionate than any kiss I had ever shared with Sai.

When we finally separated, we were both breathing deeply. The way Sasuke was looking at me, the intensity in his eyes, made my cheeks burn and my head spin.

"I don't want to be friends," he said. "I just want you. That's all I ever wanted."

I had to work to make a coherent sentence. "I d—I don't understand."

His grip around me loosened, so that his hold was more gentle and loving. "I tried to stay away from you because I was afraid of what I was feeling for you. I…" He struggled to get the words out and he looked frustrated with himself. "I loved you, and it scared me. I didn't want to let you in just to know that it was all one-sided. I never meant to hurt you; I just didn't want to be hurt by you.

"But then I saw you with him," his spat the word out like it was acid on his tongue. "And I knew I had messed up. I had missed my chance. I couldn't stand seeing you with him. He's such a cocky bastard." I flushed at the slur. "You deserve better than that." He paused for a moment. Then, "Did you mean what you said? About how you felt about me?"

"Sasuke…I'm dating Sai now, we can't—"

"Screw Sai! Just tell me if you meant it. I have to hear you say it."

I didn't know what was happening. My mind was reeling and nothing made sense anymore. I didn't know what to say, what to do, what to think. I had been wrong. Sasuke liked me and I had been too stupid to see it. But what about Sai?

What about him? A tiny voice whispered in my mind. It felt like this whole time my feet had been floating above the ground. But here was Sasuke, keeping me grounded like an anchor with his strong arms and desperate voice. It was time to stop pretending.

"I love you Sasuke," I whispered. "I always have. Just you and no one else." As the truth of those words settled in my heart, I felt lighter, like a weight had been thrown off my shoulders. Suddenly, everything just felt right. Being here in Sasuke's arms and watching him smile at me was right.

"I love you too," he pressed his forehead against mine and I let my eyelids flutter closed. He kissed me again. It was a soft kiss, gentler and sweeter than the previous one. My body melted into his in a moment of pure bliss.

And in that moment I realized that everything would be alright. Whatever happened with Sai would be ok as long as Sasuke was by my side where he always should have been. As long as we were together everything would be ok. And it was so wonderful, so relieving to realize that."

We broke apart and Sasuke rested his forehead on mine once again. His eyes were closed in contentment and he kept whispering, "It's not too late, it's not too late…"

No, I thought, it was never too late to start over. We had been given a second chance. Everything that had happened in the past was the past. We were starting over, and this time we do it right.

It's not too late.

The End

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Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Comments are much appreciated!