A/N: OMG! You are ALL epic! I am SOOOOO buzzed with the response to this story. You're all awesome. THANK YOU sooooo much!
A/N2: I am SOOOOOOOO sorry. Yes, Lockwood is dead. I am blaming that on the fact that I live in OZ and still haven't seen the finale. I got peeks on youtube and through FF's, so THAT is why I didn't know. I won't make that mistake from now on! Hope you can forgive me! =)).
A/N3: Thanks to those who said hello to the voices in my head. They are buzzed that you greeted them. No one ever speaks to them but me. LOL! Onward… =)).
The aura in the room was thick and it was instantly noticed by Martha, when she came through the door.
"Oh my God," she announced staring at Castle who was slumped in a chair at the kitchen bench. "Richard, what happened?" by the shattering look on her son's face, she could only assume that Kate Beckett was dead. Cautiously, she moved towards him, unable to think of the right words to say in a time like this. Martha read from scripts, she was an actress. She was no writer, like her son. She never had to think for herself, the script had her words already made up.
Castle looked up from the bench, and his mother saw a tub of chocolate ice-cream in front of him.
"Darling, are you alright?"
"She blames me, Mother," he stated.
"Who?"
"Beckett," the way the name rolled off his tongue, it was evidently clear that something big had gone down, maybe something just as big as Kate Beckett being shot.
Martha pulled up a stool beside him. "Go on, darling… what happened?"
Castle turned his eyes back to the melting ice-cream and scooped up a spoon, shoveling it into his mouth before responding. "Beckett told me she blames me for what happened to Roy Montgomery, and for a while I thought that maybe she was just trying to protect me from Lockwood's co-conspirator, but I don't even think Kate would scoop that low to say something like that unless she really meant it."
"Oh, darling," Martha lay a hand on her shoulder. "This man killed her mother, and he's armed and dangerous. Do you really think she is going to let you get anywhere near him? Maybe she's afraid of leaving Alexis fatherless, if something were to happen to you."
It made sense, what his mother was saying, but the way the words had rolled off her tongue, there had to be some truth to it.
All Castle did was nod.
… … … …
Castle hadn't managed to put a single word to paper or to screen. He was staring at his computer, the white glow of a blank document staring back at him. He leaned back in his black swivel chair, his head against the cushion-y softness that he'd paid so much money for. He snatched a pen from his desk and tapped it against the side of his head, as if all of a sudden the ideas would drop out.
But he still came up empty.
Truth be told, he hadn't been able to write anything since Kate had fired him from shadowing her. It hurt like hell, and it was lonely being back at home. He'd forgotten how easily writer's block came, and how it lingered like a bad odor, sometimes for weeks. He could even remember it having happened for months on a few occasions. Writer's block made him crazy.
But not seeing Kate Beckett made him crazier, and it caused a strong ache in his chest, one that he couldn't shake no matter how much chocolate ice-cream he ate, or how much money he spent on new gadgets, even finding new apps for his phone didn't bring him any joy. He was a mess. He couldn't even hide it, though he tried whenever Alexis was in the room, but she knew him too well to be fooled by is charade.
Finally, he gave up. He stopped even trying to write, and he eventually stopped playing with his phone, and took up residence on the couch. He felt like a fool and knew that wallowing in self-pity was pathetic given that he was a grown man who had been through two divorces, and the closest he had to intimacy with Kate Beckett was a kiss. Sure, the kiss moved mountains for Castle, and the impact it had on him was never-ending, but it was still only a kiss to the rest of the world.
Nevertheless, he couldn't bring himself to do anything but lay on the couch, staring at the blank TV screen, and he mentally scolded himself, trying to talk himself into putting his emotion on paper, but it seemed to much of an effort, so he just stayed there, thinking about how he was supposed to live without Kate Beckett.
"Dad," Alexis said from the kitchen.
Castle didn't move.
"Dad is there something I can do for you?" she sounded desperate.
"No," he said impassively. "I'm good, just tired I guess."
Even Castle wasn't convinced by his own response.
Forgive me for it being so short, but I will upload the next one ASAP! So until then feel free to add your opinion… good or bad… without judgment! =)).
