A/N: …should I bother explaining my ridiculously long absence? Well, yes, I probably should. See, unfortunately my dad took away my laptop that I keep at my moms, and the one I keep at his place dies after the first two minutes of being unplugged. It's a bitch. So since I can't write during class anymore and my teachers keep dumping an insane amount of work on me, I've been gone for too long. Fortunately, my stress with school has gotten me to the point where I say "screw working" and I'm just going to dedicate my time to FF instead. :) This chapter was really hard to write (as will be the next 10-20 chapters) because I absolutely love Rachel, and I'm so protective of her character on the show, but my story unfortunately deals her a VERY bad hand. Anyways, the beginning of this chapter was super filler-like so I decided to keep going and add a bit of drama on the end. Hope you enjoy!
PS-Thanks so much for all your reviews guys! They're amazing and totally make my day! You guys are amazing!
Disclaimer: Glee is owned by FOX.
Summary: When Jesse St. James, the golden boy of McKinley High, and his goons take things too far, they realize their actions have more affect than they realize. In a whirlwind of emotions and heartbreak, Jesse begins to discover what it feels like to walk in the shoes of Rachel Berry. Rated M for themes of abuse, violence, attempted rape, suicide, and more.
Category:Glee
Genre/s: Romance/Hurt/Comfort
Story Type: AU/AT
Character Type: Jesse/Major OOC, Rachel/Major OOC
Rating: M
Pairing: St. Berry
Inspiration Behind Chapter: Perfect by Hedley
Geeks and M-Gleeks
"If you let a bully come into your front yard, he'll be on your
porch the next day, and the day after that he'll rape
your wife in your own bed."
-Lyndon B. Johnson
Hiding the bruise on my wrist was so much easier than I thought. One would think with my over-attentive parents and sudden love for long sleeved shirts and sweaters would raise suspicions, especially considering how much detail my dads seem to notice, but no. I shouldn't have been so surprised though; I've been hiding the bullying for a long time.
School had been in session for around two weeks already, and it wasn't getting any better. I distressingly found out that I shared every single class with at least a handful of my tormentors, Jesse in nearly all of them. The classes I didn't share with Jesse had either Karofsky, Finn, Quinn, Santana, Puck, or Matt in them.
Karofsky was known for his lack of morals when it came to bullying. It didn't matter whether you were male or female, straight or gay, black or white, or freshman or senior. He didn't like you, you were looking at a long line of sugary slushies being thrown your way in the future.
Finn and Quinn were the golden couple of the school, Finn being the star quarterback of the football team, Quinn being the head cheerleader of the Cheerios, and of course the fact that they were both in Glee. Finn was rather dumb and really faded into the background during my Jesse-attacks (as I started to call them in Freshman year). He cheered my tormentors on, but he didn't really pose as an outright threat. Quinn on the other hand was all bitch and even more spice. She knew how to deal out humiliation like giving candy to little kids on Halloween. Unlike Jesse, I've been going to school with her since pre-school. I remember she used to steal my lunch every day and bury it in the playground during recess so I never got to eat lunch (considering how they didn't really cater to vegans there). I was just as spineless back then as I am now, and I was a good enough liar that my dads never found out.
Santana. God, where to even start with her. She was like Quinn, only a lot more vulgar and cruel with her insults (and if I'm being completely honest, she actually belongs in Glee—Quinn doesn't). Whereas Quinn reveled in the physical bullying, such as stealing lunches, slushies, stealing my clothes during gym, and tripping her in the halls, Santana loved the verbal abuse. I really did have to commend her for the amount of nicknames she had managed to come up for me over the years, her favorites being Man Hands and Ru-Paul. Lately though she's taken to pulling on my hair painfully when she passes me and pushing me into other people (you can imagine how unhappy they would be with that fact).
Puck was all talk and no bite. Out of everyone, I'd probably take insults from him over anyone. Aside from the occasional slushie, he mostly just says a few insulting comments referring to my feminine parts and tries to act tough. Our families know each other since we are two of the only Jewish families in Lima, but Puck completely ignores that fact in school. However he does have a decent voice and his guitar playing is pretty good.
Matt was just as bad as Jesse, and on Jesse's good days he was even worse. He wasn't in Glee, and he wasn't the most muscular of the jocks, but he was evil to the core. While Jesse humiliated and tormented for a bit of fun and for his popularity, Matt did it because he believed these people (mainly me) really deserved it all just for existing. He's always pushed the boundaries of verbal and physical bullying, but he's always been reeled in a bit (not that that matters now).
Santana and Matt were in my AP US History class, which was dragging on rather slowly. Don't ask me how they managed to get into the class (or how ANY of these people were in my classes—aren't the bullies always supposed to be, well, dumb?). I started shifting uncomfortably in my seat when I noticed them start to throw glances my way and began whispering to each other. I knew they were planning something, obviously directed at me.
I glanced cursorily at the clock, my heart racing as I realized class would be over in about a minute. I began to quickly plan an escape route to get away from them as soon as the bell rang. I already changed twice today after being slushied by Jesse and Karofsky, and I didn't have a third set of clothes in my locker. I began to quietly slip things into my bag already, and I was positive they realized. I clutched my bag tightly in one hand, the other poised on my desk ready to bolt for the door.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
The bell rang. I slammed my knee against the top of my desk in my haste, but I ignored the pain and quickly walked out the door. I tried to get lost in the throngs of students that were pouring out into the hall, but when you're me, you stick out like a sore thumb.
"Hey, Man Hands!" Santana called out loudly. Heads turned and watched me as I huddled a bit into myself and kept walking with my head down, my feet carrying me quickly towards the most crowded area of the school, and conveniently where the main exit was. If I could only reach those doors, I could run and hide…
I felt a hand roughly grab my shoulder and turn me around. I managed to avoid tripping over myself in time to see someone passing by hand Matt a slushie. I squeezed my eyes shut in preparation for the slushie to hit, but instead I felt Santana pull the neck of my long sleeved white shirt out. It didn't even register in my mind before Matt dumped the entire icy drink down my shirt. I fought back tears as the cold seeped through the material of not only my shirt, but also my white tank top and bra. I heard the laughter around me and waited for them all to clear out like they usually do, but instead I felt another one collide with the back of my shirt and hair. My body physically shook from the freezing cold I felt all over my body, and I realized with disdain that the drink was slowly spreading down my shirt into my underwear and onto my yellow skirt.
"Ha, looks like Berry got her period!" Santana jeered while pointing to what I'm sure was a large red slushie stain on the back of my skirt. Her taunt was juvenile and hurtful, and yet the crowd laughed and cheered at my expense. I opened my eyes only to close them quickly again as I felt a third slushie come in contact with my face. I gasped and squeezed my eyes tighter trying to make sure the dye didn't get into my eyes. Slushie stung like a bitch.
"Sorry I missed out on the fun Berry, I hope this makes up for it." I could just imagine the smirk on Jesse's face as everyone stared at him like he was royalty. Their king. He was their saint, their savior from the ugly and useless Rachel Berry who had stupidly reared her hideous head in their kingdom.
The warning bell rang and people began to clear out, their laughs fading away as they walked to class. I stood there with my eyes still closed very much aware that he was still standing in front of me, smirk still plastered on that face.
"How does it feel Berry?" he asked as he began to circle me. My lips quivered, about to answer the rhetorical question with a smartass answer but refraining from such—it would only cause more damage. He circled me a few more times before stopping directly behind me. He leaned in close to me (but not too close, lest he get some slushie on his perfect clothing) and whispered in my ear.
"How does it feel to be a waste of space on this planet where nobody wants you? Has your birth mother ever sought you out? Have you ever had a friend before? Has anyone ever actually talked to you for more than five seconds without flinching away in disgust?" His words were cruel and harsh, firm. I could feel the glare on the back of my head. "Nobody cares about you. Nobody wants you. So either crawl back up your crack-head of a mother's womb or drop dead. Save us the trouble."
I managed to hold back the floodgate of tears and cries of emotional pain until I was sure he was gone, his shoes echoing loudly in the halls as he walked away.
A/N: So I'm back bitches, and I'm back better than ever! I have a ton of ideas for St. Berry that I'm determined to post to FF, and I'm super excited because JGroff is back on episode 17 of season 2, which just so happens to be the next episode (which airs in April)! I don't know about you guys, but I'm fucking sick and tired of Quinn, Finn, and Santana. I hate Finchel. I hate Fuinn. And don't even get me started on Mr. Schue. I need St. Berry, and I need it now! Anyways, drop a review with any thoughts, ideas, criticism, love for JGroff, Lea Michele, and St. Berry, or basically anything else. :)
REVIEW TO MAKE ALL THOSE
FINCHEL SHIPPERS REALIZE
HOW MUCH OF AN ASS
FINN REALLY IS.
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