A/N: First, I want to dedicate this chapter to michemistic since their PM to me is the only reason I'm getting this up right now. :) I had this chapter written last week, but there was a tough decision I hate to make that was detrimental to Rachel's character and would have swayed the plot line for her character. But I made the decision, and so now I can finally post this, and I'm starting on the next chapter now. :) And second, thanks so much for all the reviews, favorites, and alerts guys, they're so amazing and really egg me on (no pun intended) to continue on with this story! Third, this chapter is pretty much a filler-chapter with a lot of necessary background information. Next chapter is when all the drama really kicks in and when things get pretty graphic. So have no fear. :) Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Glee is owned by FOX.

Summary: When Jesse St. James, the golden boy of McKinley High, and his goons take things too far, they realize their actions have more affect than they realize. In a whirlwind of emotions and heartbreak, Jesse begins to discover what it feels like to walk in the shoes of Rachel Berry. Rated M for themes of abuse, violence, rape, suicide, and more.

Category: Glee

Genre/s: Romance/Hurt/Comfort

Story Type: AU/AT

Character Type: Jesse/Major OOC, Rachel/Major OOC

Rating: M

Pairing: St. Berry


Inspiration Behind Chapter: Adam's Song by Blink-182

Geeks and M-Gleeks

"I had my bully, and it was excruciating. Not only

the bully, but the intimidation I felt."

-Robert Cormier


I hid the shopping bag with my slushied clothes in my bag before opening the door to my house. Slushied clothes would be a big red flag for my dads, so I resorted to doing my own laundry from the age of nine. Satisfied that the evidence of my daily torture was hidden, I opened the door. I waited for the smell of Daddy's famous vegan chili and tacos to reach my nose, a Berry tradition we've kept for every Thursday night for the past five or so years, but I smelt nothing. I was confused until I heard my name being called.

"Rachel, honey, can you come in here please?" my daddy, Hiram, called out from the living room.

"Coming Daddy!" I said, a tight knot forming in my stomach. It took a lot for the Berry family to break tradition, like someone in the family ending up in the hospital or finding out about a death of a family friend or something. I cautiously entered the living room and felt the knot tighten even further.

My Dad, Leroy, was sitting on the couch in the middle of the room, head buried in his hands as he leaned his elbows on his knees. I couldn't read his expression, so I couldn't figure out if it was out of anger, disappointment, or sadness. His posture was tense though, and I was leaning more towards the former.

Daddy was leaning against the ceiling to floor window across the room, his arms crossed over his chest as he looked outside with a blank expression on his face. He looked relaxed and calm, but that meant nothing.

My dads completed each other in every way—including with their interrogation system. My Dad, although the more overprotective parent, wore his heart on his sleeve (something I seemed to inherit from him apparently) and his emotions were always displayed on his face. If he was upset with you, you knew it. If he was proud of you, you knew it. There was never any guesswork involved, but that wasn't always necessarily a good thing.

Daddy on the other hand was always the more compassionate one. If one of them had to be categorized as the more "motherly" parent, it would definitely be him. He was always in control of his emotions and never overreacted to situations, which is why I knew something was really wrong when I saw him. As a lawyer, he crafted a perfect poker face over time that didn't betray any of his emotions. The fact that whatever happened caused him the need to use it in fear he might overreact with his emotions shook me.

"Is everything okay?" I asked feebly. There was silence for a moment as neither of them moved. "We got a call from your school," Daddy said finally. My stomach dropped.

"Really?" I asked feigning stupidity. "What about? I thought I was doing well in all my classes. Was it one of my teachers?"

"No, it was your vice principal, Mrs. Holsten I think her name is?" Dad said as he finally looked up. His eyes weren't red-rimmed, he hadn't been crying. But I could see bags under his eyes; I could feel the tension rolling off his shoulders. He looked sunken like he had been up for the past three days with no sleep, a fact I knew not to be true.

"Oh?" I asked, faking ignorance. "Why? Am I in trouble?"

Daddy finally moved and let out a sigh. "Why don't you come sit on the couch with us." He walked across the room so he was on the other end of the leather couch, a seat right in between them for me. I slowly walked over and sat down between them, my nails digging into my flesh, my heart racing in fear. They couldn't know. They couldn't.

"What did she say?" I asked carefully. The two shared a look, and Dad's eyes tightened.

"She said it seems like you've been having troubles socially lately at school," Daddy said. "Is this true?" I hated when he started to go all "lawyer-mode" on me. He was being careful. Cautious. He was gauging his words before he spoke. He wanted to catch me in whatever web of lies I'd already spun.

"I just had a fight with some kid at school, nothing big," I lied. I kept my face perfectly neutral. I didn't like the direction this conversation was going. I couldn't have them find out about school. I couldn't have them find out about Jesse. They'd make me transfer, and I'd have to start this entire process all over again. I can't go through that. It would kill me.

"She said it seemed like they physically hurt you," Dad said bitterly, and I saw the anger seep into his expression. I felt my guilt triple in size. The both of them wanted to protect me. They loved me so much. And all I've been doing is lying to them. Daddy brought a hand up and caressed the back of my head, bringing it down onto his shoulder and kissing my forehead.

"Whatever it is Rachel, you can tell us. We promise."

'It's not that I don't want to…it's that I can't.'

"I'm telling you the truth. Some kid thought I purposely bumped into him in the hall and got a little rough, but people pulled him back. Turns out he was just in a bad mood. Ms. Holsten saw me right afterwards and was just concerned," I lied. "That's nice of her that she called to make sure everything was alright though."

I saw my dads exchange a look of relief, and Dad immediately wrapped his arms around me and also planted a kiss on my forehead.

"Thank god. We were so worried, sweetheart," he said affectionately. Daddy grinned and nodded, and the smile on my face was genuine as I was enveloped by the two most important people in my life, and yet the guilt seemed to increase tenfold. I was digging my own grave, and it was just getting deeper and deeper.

"So how was glee practice?" Daddy asked as we got up, the two heading towards the kitchen to start dinner while I followed. I closed my eyes as a fresh wave of guilt crashed into me as they brought up my next lie. Earlier on I, for some reason unknown to me, decided to tell them that even though I didn't have time for friends, I had a group of people I could hang out with in school or outside school if I wanted. In my sophomore year, they started to get suspicious when I was making up all these stories about friends when they never saw me hanging out with anyone after school.

I came home the next day telling them I had recently joined my school's glee club with some of my friends. The look on their faces were so happy, I never had the heart to end the lie by saying I quit glee. Instead every Tuesday and Thursday after school, I went to the music store near my house. It looked rundown and sketchy on the outside, but it was really nice on the inside, and they had a vast music collection. I spent a few hours in there, browsing through music and fiddling around on the piano until it was an appropriate time to show up at home.

"It was good," I said. "We're doing rock this week, so I think I'm going to experiment a little in the hard rock area." I felt a little better knowing I at least wasn't lying with this. It was true that New Directions were doing rock this week. A while back I accidentally overheard their Mr. Schue, New Directions' coach, talking about their assignment that week, and it was pretty interesting. I decided to try out his assignment, and ever since then I've been doing their weekly assignments. Sometimes they're boring and have no relevance, and sometimes they're actually pretty fun. They mainly do the assignments do think of fresh and new ideas for competitions, but I liked to be creative with mine.

"That's interesting, sweetie," Dad said. "It's good that you're broadening your horizons." I smiled at the two of them and grabbed a piece of cucumber my dad was cutting up.

"Thanks," I said. "I think I'm going to go up to my room to start on my homework. Is that okay?" I asked already knowing the answer but desperate to detangle myself from the web that seemed to be growing thicker and thicker by the moment.

"Of course," Dad answered with a laugh. They both smiled at me, and I gave them a smile in return before heading out of the kitchen. I grabbed my bag and headed upstairs. I opened my bag and took out all my schoolbooks, and finally I reached the shopping bag with my stained clothes. I sighed and threw them into the hamper in my closet, reminding myself to do the laundry later tonight after my dads went to sleep. I looked at the books on my bed waiting to be opened. I resigned myself to the fact that my homework had to be done, no matter how easy it was for me, and I went over to my bed and began what was a typical Rachel-Berry-school-night.


A/N: Sooooo, that chapter was kinda lousy. :P And pretty much a filler-ish/just background information. The REAL drama starts in next chapter, I promise! And I already have it started! Soooo…review? :D

Reviews = LOVE

Love = HAPPINESS

Happiness = INSPIRATION

Inspiration = UPDATE

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