Chapter 3: Patience (4 months after Geonosis)
Soon after that the Chancellor had given his blessing for myself to return to Coruscant as it was deemed safer than Naboo could be, considering the near poisoning it almost sustained. My mind was mostly preoccupied by Senate and committee meetings but there was always a part of the day I secretly reserved to thinking of Anakin. Word had gotten back that Obi-Wan was successful at eliminating the Separtist bounty hunter threat by the name of Durge as other Jedi victories rang true like the defense Master Yoda pulled off on a sacred Jedi planet named Ilum. Obi-Wan had just gotten back and was now stationed at the Jedi temple for the time being until Anakin would arrive any hour now. My apprehension rose as hour by hour went by to over hear news of the outcome of Anakin's mission on Yavin four.
Five hours after he was supposed to land on Coruscant had been a long enough wait so I carefully staged a run in with Obi-Wan right around the corner of the temple. As I walked with a cool demeanor, C-3PO chimed in a question, "Miss, Padme, I am to run into Master Obi-Wan accidentally?"
"Yes, 3PO, and do not let him know I told you to do it, no matter what."
We continued walking until I saw a brown cloaked, tall figure in the near distance walking into Dex's diner. We made our way far across the walkway to some peddler shops and thank the stars we did not have to wait long. It took only a minute for the golden droid to wander away from me and "accidentally" bump into the light haired master Jedi. I stayed looking unaware at the edge of a store I was about to walk into, acting my part, as a smooth, husky voice reached my ears.
"Padme? Your droid seems to have run into me by accident. I think he lost you in the crowd." His statement was followed by an apologetic ramble of 3PO playing his part I assigned to him down to the teet.
"Obi-Wan! I knew I'd see you again. How have you been?" I listened intently to the conversation as I pretended to browse the items on sale. Obi-Wan walked by my side patiently with a peaceful look on his face, regardless of the state the galaxy was in.
We made small talk with each other for a few minutes until I remembered that the whole reason why I wanted to talk to him was to see how Anakin was doing. I felt stupid and puzzled with myself as to why I ended up being so curious with a Jedi Master but pushed it out of my mind. Finally the topic of Anakin came up when C-3PO brought him up, wondering where his maker was.
"He led a group of troopers to Yavin's moon but all were slaughtered except him by a Separtist commander by the name of Asajj Ventress. We still don't know very much about her but will hopefully put together what we can when my padawan returns, which should be any minute now actually. Yavin is a little bit further than my trip from Muunilinst was so you know how hyperspace travel can be." I nodded in comprehension and held back showing too much interest so to conceal my real feelings on the subject.
Obi-Wan then offered to walk myself and 3PO back to our security transport as he had to get back to the temple to welcome back Anakin.
"May the force be with you, Master." I nodded goodbye as did he and then I was greeted by Captain Typho and Dorme, wishing more than ever to be back in Anakin's arms again.
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Padme Amidala was a beautiful, regal, and yet very concerned young women about the Jedi, more than any other politician I had seen, next to Palpatine. Ever since my padawan and I had been assigned to protect and find the assasin out to get her, she had taken more interest into the Jedi, more so than ten years ago when Qui-Gon, (force rest his soul) and I first helped her.
At the ripe age of twenty-four, her beauty was glowing as ever before and even I, a Jedi, could admit that and could not fully blame Anakin for his "intoxication" (back when we first crossed paths after a ten year abscence) as he had called it, by her. I began to think of these things right after my visit with Dex on Coruscant and when her protocol droid had bumped into me in the middle of the walk way, looking for her.
"Oh, I am so sorry! This walkway is so crowded, and I'm trying to find Miss Padme. I'm not supposed to leave her alone out here!" I reached out to the force and immediately sensed where the Senator was, almost directly across the street in the mouth of a doorway to a shop.
It was almost too convenient that she had happened to be so close to me on the whole city planet of Coruscant and made me wonder.
The droid and I walked across to meet the cloaked Amidala, looking at intricately woven sheets hanging up on a wall. She seemed genuinely surprised and happy to see me, which for some odd reason brought warmth to me but I pushed it aside to remain ever mindful of my surroundings and the living force. Of course we talked of the war and everything having to do with it and Anakin's status of arrival and his mission. She told me of the reason why she was visiting the market places of Coruscant; to look for a birthday present for one of her nieces that lived on Naboo. Her eyes sparkled with a wonderful light as she bid me the formal Jedi farwell of good luck as we parted ways after escorting her back to her transport.
When I got back to the temple awaiting news of when Anakin's ship arrived, I decided to metitate in my chamber but first sat on the couch in the lounge room I shared with my apprentice. As tiring as the efforts I had put into defending the Republic the last few months, my thoughts still lingered on one person: Padme Amidala. Out of curiousity, I looked up her family file to find out more about her roots and surprisingly found that neither of her two nieces had a birthday coming up remotely soon. It was odd that she had given me an excuse to why she was so close to me, literally right across the street from my previous destination. Had she purposely wanted to see me? It was hard to tell her motives when she concealed her emotions so well, obviously a trait she honed as a politician.
There was something about her aura that I hadn't felt since the bond I had shared with Siri Tachi. Though we had decided it was for the best we didn't pursue our feelings for one another we had since we were young padawans, a deep, secret part of me had always hid away love for her without attachement. These similar feelings that swarmed around in the back of my head when thinking of the Senator, deeply bothered me but I resigned to it all and retired to my chamber to metitate on the force for inner tranquilty and hopefully answers to the mysteries swirling around my life.
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I stepped out of the turbolift that led into the foyer before her Senate apartment with more longing for my wife than ever. It had been nearly two months since I had last seen Padme and it was only briefly and left me wanting so much more. I could not touch or kiss her soft lips then for it would have given us away to my master, Obi-Wan so we parted ways as if mere friends. I had arrived back on my familar home of Coruscant two standard hours previously around dinner time but was forced to attend a briefing with the Jedi council so was unfortunately held back while Padme patiently waited to see me.
The sun had set, helping to set a guise for myself since I was not supposed to be where I was but on the streets patrolling the under city. I would have to come up with a good excuse for Obi-Wan later definitely but now I was not worried about that. As the doors to the apartment swiftly opened and shut as I stepped through, I saw an angel standing with her back to me, looking out onto the city towards where the temple was. She had a simple black dress on, matched with a simple yet intricate head piece on that pinned her hair up into a fancy twist with two braids hanging down.
"You know, it's not safe to stand by windows anymore, with assasins and bounty hunters flying around the city." The sound of my voice resulted in a sudden burst of radiance and love I felt emanating from Padme in the force but she did turn around immediately.
Instead, she answered me smugly, "Well I guess I won't have to worry about that, now that I have a Jedi here to protect me."
She turned around and added, "I'm the safest when I'm with you." She winked at me as I strode towards her in what seemed to be only a couple of steps all the way across the room to reach her. In a second her small but feminine form was wrapped up in my arms as I held her tight, not wanting to let go instinctively. Padme finally brought her face up to mine and got a good look, seeing the vertical thin scar I sustained over my eye from my fight with Ventress in the jungles of Yavin four and lightly touched it with a sympathetic look.
"It healed fast, don't worry." My tone of voice and stance shy, protesting her critical, worrying look that made me come undone from the inside out.
"Annie, I'll always worry about you. Ever since this," she grabbed my gold metallic hand and continued, "and even before that" insinuating that dark experience I had after my mother died. I shuddered at the memory I had tried so hard to put past me, in fear of what I could become if I did not.
I looked intently into her brown eyes with a serious tone, lightly touching her soft cheek "I will protect us from anything and everything that tries to hurt us, I promise."
"I believe in you, darling." I could hear her answer echo in her mind as I let the courtesy blinds to the windows down and dimmed the lights on the wall and met her on the couch in the lounge room. She looked as beautiful as ever, and she was all mine, always. After my mother had died I knew I could not live another day without this woman in my life and deep down in my soul I had to have her. Padme had noticed my appraisal of her when she commented on my own appearance and how it seemed I had grown. I didn't really see it except for maybe in my eyes but I hoped that my knighting ceremony would be soon, so I could give her a real gift that meant something: my padawan braid. Out of no where I got a vague feeling about Padme, as if she had been with someone earlier in the day. It must have been Obi-Wan, I could feel his force impression he left on her, blocking out the life energy I usually felt from her.
"You were with Obi-Wan today weren't you?" My suspicion was not of her but him and it was hard to keep a cool, even voice as I spoke to her.
"Yes, I was anxious to hear news about whether you were coming home or not since your transport was late by several hours. You know how half the time the HoloNet can't be trusted to relay everything, especially with Separtist spies around." Her voice was soothing and reassuring and yet it did not fully comfort me. I saw the looks and unspoken judgments Obi-Wan had given me about her and naturally I didn't like them.
"I don't trust him when it comes to you, Padme. He's a Jedi and his first priority is the council, not us." Concern and alarm plague her face as my apprehension grows. I stand up out of agitation over it all and everything else that has annoyed me about my master and try to keep my control as a Jedi is supposed to.
"Annie, you can trust him. You said he's like your father!" The concern in her voice makes me wonder if it is for me or for him. I don't know why I feel that way, I just do and I hate myself for it. Padme reached for my hand when I chose not to respond to her and then I could not contain my anger any longer.
"I saw how he kissed your hand, I saw! I know you love me but I..." I am struggling for words as she sits there, stunned with her mouth slightly open.
"I can feel something going on Padme. I feel it in my gut!" My body is trembling with anger as I compulsively pace back and forth in front of her, with a clearly upset look on my face.
Padme responded with a somewhat distraught look on her face that almost turned to a rare bout of anger that I had never seen from her. That did not deter me from my own anger. "Anakin, I cannot believe you would think that about him and I." I had never mentioned a suspicion about her, just Obi-Wan, so this furthered my intense suspicions that felt like a chain reaction.
I started to feel a cloudiness over my judgment and I allowed it as I walked up to her with a fire in my eyes, while defiance shone in hers. I towered over her shapely figure with a hunger arising in me but the dark had not abatted in me. I was not myself at this point and I welcomed it as she looked at me questionatingly and then with a little bit of fear that was trying to be kept at bay. My desire for the woman that was mine came over me in such a rush the next thing I knew I was pushing her right into a corner that she did not seem to welcome as she was infuriated with my bad behavior. Padme put her hands up to my chest to keep me at arms length but the effort was futile as I ignored her.
"Anakin, stop. I don't have time for this." I pressed my body up against hers in need and anger as I grabbed her hands in warning.
"You don't want to do that Padme." My voice did not feel like my own; I felt like I was only half there and the dark was letting me know it was alright to let go of everything and feed into my primal needs and instincts for release. With the force at my very finger tips, I used it to keep her hands down and she started to struggle against me in protest. I knew deep down she wanted it, she just wanted to be difficult despite her voiced protests. I could feel fear and anger coming off her aura and I welcomed and fed off it as much as the dark held onto me. The dark whispered things into my head and would not leave me alone as long as my wife struggled against my hold, against my advances.I kissed her neck roughly in submission to the dark's wishes and my own as I loosened my hold on her hands with the force.
"Annie, please we can't do this, not like this!" Her head was turned away from mine as I continued to listen to the dark's pleas. My hand started to undo her dress to grasp at whatever bare skin I could find and soon my hand found Padme's breast. I needed her so badly and just wanted the dark to slip away but it was so persistent.
"Padme, give in..."
My inner voice floated into her mind, I know she heard it and she knew then that I was struggling like I had in that garage on Tattooine. I gave her insight that let her know that it wasn't fully me that was doing this, that I would never want to hurt her. Her body at once became still for a moment as my lips felt scorching hot passion as they needingly kissed at her neck. The darkness still pushed me to be in control of her and soon, she stopped fighting it all and gave into me. The dark in me did not completely fade out. It refused to be extinguished and held on through my basic instinct to be in this woman and fill her completely.
Padme responded to me when I roughly parted her lips with my own and savagely took her tongue to my own mouth. I tore at her dress to get it off but needed her wetness to envelop me so bad that I did not bother to completely undress her and myself. The front part of her dress was ripped away to expose her supple breasts in a hurried motion, that I barely noticed I had done it when I moved on to opening my pants for her to access. Padme kissed and nibbled my neck multiple times as I lifted her bottom up for her legs to wrap around my waist, using the wall to hold her up.
"Do it..." She said to me, ironically in an impatient fashion.
She winced in anticipation as she knew that I would not be gentle this time. I needed a release as none other as I pushed my manhood into her with precision and rammed her hard against the wall, driving into her tightness. Her moan was load, almost to the edge of a scream and I groaned in pleasure as I continued thrusting into her, fast and hard. I held her arms above her head to show I had control, so everything would go the way I wanted it to, as she wanted it that way at that second also. Soon, Padme was clawing to take off my tunic to see my bare chest while I easily brought the dress up over her head and onto the floor. I let her wrap her arms around me as I kept her legs around my waist and took her to the bedroom to continue the brutal love making. She placed her hands on my shoulders, getting a solid grip as I thrust into her for several minutes that pleasured her and I so much. Ten standard minutes went by and at that time, I felt Padme tense up as she moaned and writhed in ecstacy. My hard member pumped as deep as I could into her, to the very depth of her womanhood until I at last spilled my seed into her, the cruel darkness completely gone, thank the force.
I felt like myself again and hastily rolled off of Padme and onto my side of the bed in shame over the way I had treated her. I don't know how she could stand the sight of me when she laid her battered body next to mine. The only words I could say to her was I'm sorry over and over again until I could not control myself, so I broke down in remorse for losing control so easily. I am supposed to be a Jedi, a protector and I had already promised I wouldn't fail again.
"Shhhhhhhh, it's okay Annie, I forgive you." She cradled my head as I let out all of the negative things I had been holding onto the past four months and soon my body tricked itself into sleep even though I only wanted to spend time with my her for the one night we would have for a while.
