Chapter 4: Uncertainty 21 B.B.Y. (8 months later)

Months passed since that one frightful and passionate night with Anakin and I had not seen him directly since. Over the next few months I would receive secret hologram messages from him about every month or so that kept myself going as I was alone and miserable without him. After the credibility disaster for the Jedi resulted from the Spaarti incident and the bio-droid threat had abated in the Outer Rim territories, Anakin and Obi-Wan still fought metaphorically to catch their breath from the war. I was not to sit around doing nothing either. I had started to prove myself as a "proactive" senator first when I accompanied Master Yoda to the planet Ilum from my star yacht as my husband and his mentor fought valiantly.

Before the two were called out to the planet Skye to bring peace, my own safety had come up again. Nute Gunray, possibly my biggest nemesis was on my heels again and wanted my head on a silver plater. The intensity of hatred he had for me had doubled when I escaped the arena pit of Geonosis with my life, something he had vowed to remedy. I knew for sure that Anakin would have none of it and the Jedi Council surely would not either for I was one of their biggest supporters so they made it clear that the two Jedi would protect me and neither would go off on another mission like Obi-Wan had before, until other increased security could step in.

For about a week, I was under their watch because the clone army was so stretched doing their best to protect the Republic that it was hard to spare a whole group of clones to protect me when a Jedi could probably do a better job anyways. The Council wasn't too worried, considering the fact that there was enough Jedi generals to handle the Outer Rim sieges especially since it was only a year into the war.

We traveled on my own personal Nubian ship, the one that had been recovered off of Geonosis, and only took Dorme, Captain Typho, and the droids C-3PO and R2-D2. Dorme followed me as we went to the small, private bedroom suite I had used so many other times during travel (between my home world and the world I currently worked at) while the three men talked in the cock pit.

"M'lady, where should I set this?" Dorme gestured to our two personal bags we had brought. Our clothing was already safely tucked away in the closet so I just pointed in that direction as I sat down on the bed. "I figure I can pull out the guest bed from the wall for you Dorme, and the Captain can alternate watch with Master Kenobi and Jedi Skywalker as they sleep in the crews quarters." She nodded to me in agreement and set out to the inform the men of the sleeping situation. As I sat on the bed I felt two very familar presences nearby and knew who they were obviously but did not know why I felt the both of them. That had meant Obi-Wan was purposely probing for my presence and making his own known to me. It was hard to read him and what his underlying motives were but on the outside they seemed innocent and compassionate. Each time I saw Obi-Wan I grew uneasier at his presence, but not in a negative way, just in a different kind that I was used to. Anakin would not like it if he knew I thought of Obi-Wan more than I should be.
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I checked my chrono for the standard time that would be on Coruscant now and saw it was just after dinner time. After going through a final check to an internal list I kept in my mind with Captain Typho, I decided to retire to the crew quarters to meditate and center myself after the long day. Padme was just finishing up her dinner along with Dorme in the kitchen section of the ship I sensed and I came to the quarters where Anakin already was, meditating.
I sat in the lotus position and began to center myself but started to have trouble staying focused when I realized who I was thinking about again. I had meditated before over my concern of the frequency of Padme Amidala popping into my head but had come to no conclusion the few times I ran into her over the past year. I tried reasoning with myself that I was only stressed over the constant fighting and defending of our freedom and was just looking to a friendly, familiar face to help soothe my mind but I knew the only way to resolve my issue was to get to the core, real cause of it. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~~+~+~+~

I couldn't believe it. Just one day prior to our arrival to Naboo the Jedi Council called me back for a "meeting, crucial it is!" as Yoda stated for some unknown reason in the holographic transmission we received! This would take me away from Padme again and even worse, the little bit of darkness that came creeping up whispered to me, warning me about leaving her alone. I tried to shake it off of me but it bothered me none the less. What was I so scared of? Not being able to protect her myself or leaving her in the company of Obi-Wan? I felt in my very bones that something wrong was going to happen sooner or later and I could not let that happen.
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When the transport ship arrived to take Anakin back, I felt a ruthless and unending aching in my heart. He was only with me for a few days and we had no time to touch, kiss, and show how much we missed and loved one another, only stolen glances sent behind everyone's back. Anakin and Obi-Wan stood side by side as my ship docked with the Republic cruiser.

"Hopefully this won't take long master, I'd rather be attending to my civic duties." Anakin admitted to Obi-Wan, trying his best to hide dissappointement.

"I'm sure it won't take long, Anakin. The Council knows how important our missions are whilst Count Dooku makes his next move." For a moment it looked as if Anakin had forgotten about me, and how much he would miss me, in order to look on the bright side. If we had never fallen in love he would have gone without hesitation at all. I still feel guilty deep down for putting him in the position he is in, but we chose this double life in the end and we choose every day to endure for our love.

"Senator, you'll be safe with Master Obi-Wan, don't worry." He flashed me a small smile as I nodded to him in agreement.
"May the force be with you, Jedi Skywalker." Beating Obi-Wan to the typical Jedi catch phrase with which made the both of us chuckle but better yet, Anakin glowed from the inside as this was our secret way of telling each other I love you.
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With Anakin going back to Coruscant conveniently, this gave me time to speak with the Senator in a more comfortable matter without being nearly as formal minus a padawan looming over myself, following my example. Naboo was a relatively peaceful planet and the first home of Amidala, so it was a perfect tool to elude from all of the violence of the war and be able to effectively protect her while the solution to Nute Gunray was being searched for. As the Nubian ship gracefully landed on a docking platform in the business district of Theed, I left the cock pit to meet the Senator to make sure everything was ready to go.

"Dorme and I are all ready to go Master Kenobi" she breathily exclaimed as she set down a big bag.

"Here, M'ladies, let me get those for you." I grabbed the bags and Captain Typho took the main luggage and loaded it onto our transport cart while Dorme shifted uncomfortably in a watchful stance. Dorme was a good assistant but better yet, a trained semi-body guard that was highly devoted to Padme.

"M'lady, I don't want to leave your side, even with the Master Jedi around, no offense to him." Uncertainty filled her eyes concerning the situation one of her closest friends was in.

"Don't worry, it'll be like last time I left Coruscant with Anakin, except this time you'll be really close." I caught a glimmer in Padme's eyes as she winked to her friend with strong reassurance that was admirable of a women of her standing and reputation.

Typho and Dorme were to be in the residential building on the same street as Padme's often unnoccupied Theed loft and would easily be in contact with us at all times if needed. Since my ability to protect her was obviously better than a trained security guard with a blaster was, it was automatically decided that I would stay in the living room on practically constant watch over her. By dinner time, everything was settled in and the kitchen cooks had just started the evening meal. I sat on the lounge chair reading over some data pad's that entailed some information sent over to me from the Chancellor about Anakin's next mission he would under take. My focus on the reading was interrupted when I felt the presence of Padme enter the room in a quiet, modest fashion.

"I've been called to the palace by Governor Sio Bibble once again in request of her majesty Queen Jamilla, tomorrow afternoon Master Jedi." I nodded my head in understanding as I gently stroked my scraggly beard that slightly itched. It started to itch more profusely which embarrassed myself when Padme gave a light laugh.

"You know, if you don't keep up with your appearance, things like that will happen to you!" She lightly sat down next to me, an amused look on her face as I forced my hand down to my side.

"It has come to my understanding over the years, that the Jedi aren't as attuned with that aspect of life, Senator" she looked at me in a curious manner that made me explain a little bit further, "Especially during times of war, we obviously don't pay too much attention to our outward appearance. We tend to not accumulate possessions either." Comprehension on the subject that most people did not understand or try to dawned on her face, that made me satisfied that I wasn't speaking to a carbon wall.

"Very interesting, Master. I think the Jedi aren't that far off from politicians in that area then." She stated as a matter of fact.

"Oh, really...please explain more. By the way, you can call me Obi-Wan, since this is an informal conversation."

She continued on with her own insight with a clear and strong voice, "Well, Obi-Wan, the politicians that aren't corrupt and are genuine about actually serving their people aren't as concerned with the luxurous things either. I know the main reason why I only wear these elegant gowns and senatorial outfits is because it's expected by me, like playing part of a bureaucratic charade. We are expected to follow tradition and I can only hope that it does not get in the way of what we're supposed to be really doing in the end."

I could hear the honest truth in her voice and I saw it in her appearance also. She was wearing a very simple and modest red-orange gown that covered her very well and was one of the less intricate and fancy dressings I had seen her wear in public in the past. I was becoming very impressed with Padme, something I was not used to, being that I did not usually trust politicians since I had only seen that they would do whatever they could to get funding to their career campaigns.

When she finished, she politely awaited my response as the food servers came into the room and served covered dishes to the dining table.

"Well, Ms. Amidala..." We got up to sit at the table while I continued to speak. "It looks as if we do have some similarities then, which makes me look up to you even more than I already did. I usually don't get this close and personal with public servants besides my own kind." Her warm, endearing smile shined on her face as she commented that she was glad that she was the one I had talked to about it.

"It's Padme in "informal conversation" as you call it. Amidala is my public service title I had taken years ago." I chuckled softly and under my breath when she referred back to my previous comment and we ate our dinner in a friendly silence, content I had gotten to know her better on a personal level that would undoubtely help me sort through my ruminations.
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End of Part 1 ( I intend there to be around three major sections with a number of chapters for each) Please review!