Blowback - Chapter Two

Stan arrived back at the hospital, Eleanor and Bobby were still sitting in the same spot he left them. "Anything?"

"No, still waiting for them to take us back to see her..." Bobby could tell Stan was still angry. "You?"

"Marshall is aware...I don't know if he will come or not." Stan sighed and sat down.

Eleanor was shocked. "What?"

Stan looked at Bobby. "This stays here." Both Bobby and Eleanor nodded. "He was drunk at his house, thought she was screwing Faber." Stan could see the shock on Eleanors face, but understanding settle into Bobbys. "I gave him the full story on Faber and told him what happened. Now he feels guilty and feels he shouldn't be here."

"That's ridiculous." Eleanor was frustrated. "He should be here regardless."

"Excuse me?" A nurse walked in, getting their attention. "I can take you back now." All three of them got up and followed her.

Stan hesitated at the sight of her, thinking nothing could be worse then when she was in here last time. He walked over and sat next to her bedside. "Mary, next time, I think you shouldn t go on an assignment alone...I am going to handcuff you to me. "Stan smiled sadly, letting the guilt eat at him that he didn't go with her.

"Like that would stop her." Bobby commented, trying to lighten the mood.

Eleanor smiled through her tears. "Very true."

Stan was trying to keep the anger he felt at Marshall out of his voice. "Sarah is fine. Safe and sound..." He looked at her pale form. "Don't worry, I haven't told Jinx or Brandi, as promised."

The doctor walked in. "Hello again, I realize we kept you waiting longer then anticipated. Her bp has been dipping to dangerously low levels. We are monitoring her closely. If you see anything at all that concerns you, please alert us."

"Do you know why it's happening?" Stan asked, before Eleanor had a chance.

"There are multiple reasons, but I want to monitor closely to ensure there are not any further complications." The doctor just smiled softly and left.

"Damn Doctors...always so damn cryptic." Eleanor was frustrated, her thoughts drifting to her husbands time in the hospital. She knew they weren't telling them everything.


Clouds blanketed the skies. Stan stood solemnly, not bothering with an umbrella as the rain coated him. Eleanor stood beside him, crying, umbrella clutched in her hand. Jinx and Brandi were inconsolable. Peter kept a tight hold on Brandi as she sobbed. The amount of people here would have surprised her. The priest was speaking, but the words were silent, his eyes were too focused on the casket. The service ended and they slowly began to lower her. His body shook with sobs as he watched the casket lower. Many of the mourners started to leave. Stan was still standing there, next to him.

"I told you she needed you..." Stan's voice breaking. "This is your fault Marshall." Stan walked away leaving a shattered Marshall, who fell to his knees beside the grave as they shoveled the dirt over Mary's casket.


Marshall woke up, his body covered in sweat and his face wet with tears from crying. He gasped for air, made worse by the ache in his chest. Panic overtook him and he knew at that moment, he had to get out of there. He threw back the covers, heading straight to the shower, letting the hot water calm him.

He didn't know how to handle this, the guilt was overwhelming. He dressed for work, blue jeans, dress shirt, jacket and boots. Putting on his sunglasses to cover his red and puffy eyes, he got into his truck and drove off.

As he walked the corridors, his panic increased. He stepped through the doorway to see his boss sitting there, completely lost in his own thoughts. It took him three days, but he was here now. He had no idea what to say or how to act with either of them.

"Stan..." Marshall's voice was a hoarse whisper, but Stan heard him.

Stan's eyes locked with Marshall, showing no emotion, he grabbed Marshall's arm and dragged him into the hall. "Now is not the time to apologize or tell her where you were and why." Stan's voice was stern. "We need to keep her calm, no upsetting her."

Marshall nodded, surprised by Stan's tone, he didn't get a chance to ask questions, as Stan went right back to Mary. Marshall was really in no position to argue and at the moment his voice failed him as he took in the site of her. He stood at the door, really looking at her. Gold hair splayed out on the pillow, her skin pale. Much paler then he had ever seen, even during the shooting with Francesca. The room filled with a steady beeping, a small assurance that she was indeed still with him. Her chest rose and fell, but her eyes remained closed. Marshall finally sat down in a chair on the opposite side of her bed from Stan. "Hey Mare, sorry I'm late." His voice cracked. "Admit it, you have been waiting for me to wake up." Marshall smiled and a few tears fell down his face. "Stan?" His boss looked at him, exhaustion was obvious. "Go. Get some rest. I will be here."

Stan was hesitant, he honestly didn't trust Marshall with her now, at least not completely. It was something he never would have expected to worry about with the two of them. "Alright, but call me if anything changes." Stan gave him a stern look. "Ok Mary, I am going to get some shut eye. I will leave you in Marshall's care." Stan gave her a kiss on the forehead, surprising Marshall.

"Alone at last." Marshall finally had the courage to lift her hand and place it in his own. "Now let's see...should I recite trivia to you or perhaps read you a book." He looked and saw a few books near the bed, none of which were her taste. "Well, I see they have been torturing you, the witsec manual. Wow they were desperate. Let s see what I can amuse you with..."


Each day, Marshall sat with Mary. He never left the hospital, sleeping in a cot while Stan, Bobby or Eleanor would visit her. Stan was the one with her when Mary came to.

"Mary?" Stan smiled, happy to see her eyes finally open.

Mary looked around the room, confused. Her eyes finally focused on Stan. "Hey..." Marshall heard her voice, snapping awake but didn't interrupt. "Cassidy?"

"She is fine." Stan smiled. "You saved her, not to mention...took out all three bad guys." The pride in his voice was evident. "You did the Marshal Service proud, but scared the life out of me."

Mary smiled at him, still a bit muddled. "Marshall ok?"

Stan felt a rush of anger, but quickly squashed it. "He's fine." Neither of them noticed Marshall was awake and listening.

"What happened? Are his parents alright?" Her voice was raspy from lack of use.

Marshall decided it was time to chime in. "Everything is fine Mare."

Her eyes found him and she smiled. "Coulda fooled me..."

Guilt poured over Marshall in waves. "I promise we will talk about it...later."

Mary looked at him wanting to argue, but exhaustion won out and she drifted to sleep.

Stan looked at Marshall. "Do not tell her or get into that here."

Marshall nodded. "I know..."


Mary spent another frustrating week in the hospital. She got nowhere in her questions to Marshall, but could tell he was hiding something from her. The day she was to be released Stan and Eleanor were tied up at the office, so Marshall drove her home.

They pulled into her driveway and Marshall quickly went around helping her out of the car into the house. Her entire body ached. She headed straight for the couch. "Alright, we are alone. Will you tell me what the hell is going on?" Her eyes were locked on him.

His eyes widened and he knew instantly she wasn't going to let it go. "Mare..."

"Don't Mare me. You and Stan are barely speaking." She could see it in his face that he was dreading this discussion. "Don't give me the run around. Marshall talk to me."

He sighed, choosing to sit in the chair opposite her, then beside her on the couch. "Alright, but please let me explain all of it first." Mary nodded her worry evident. "The phone call I received..." he trailed off, hoping to leave parts out. "I overreacted and nothing I can say will excuse leaving you to handle that witness alone." He paused, his throat tight. "Stan is rightfully angry at me."

Mary sat unsure how to respond. "You never overreact, so I doubt you did." She smiled at him.

The trust she put in him, was like a punch to the gut. "Mare, I did." His head was low, unable to meet her eyes.

Mary tilted her head, silently observing him as she had never seen him this way. "Marshall, what are you talking about?"

"The call was from Faber." He still couldn't look at her.

"Shit!" Mary was pissed. "I'm sorry he bothered you Marshall, I thought he finally got the point."

"Mare...stop, you were protecting me from going off and kicking his ass." He smiled slightly. "Stan filled me in."

Mary signed. "He called me everyfreakin day, stopped by and he just wouldn't get the hint." She felt badly that he was dragged into her mess. "I'm sorry Marshall, it was my fault."

Marshall was frustrated from her blaming herself. "It is not your fault, but it damn sure is mine."

Mary huffed angry, then winced at her movement. "Explain that to me..."

"No matter what Faber said...I shouldn't have left. You would have had backup. Not have been almost killed." His voice emphasized each word.

Mary could feel the exhaustion setting in, but knew this conversation was long overdue. "What did he say to you?"

The question Marshall had been dreading, his heart started to pound in his chest. "That you had been sleeping together."

"That's it?" Her tone was detached.

Marshall sighed. "He painted a vivid picture." His tone pained.

Mary was staring at him. "You believed him?"

Marshall wanted to crawl into a hole at this point. "Yeah I did..."

"Oh." Mary couldn't tell if she was mad or upset. "Wow."

Marshall couldn't read her and it scared him. "I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking." He was staring at her trying to convey how sorry he was.

"Faber was a fling, a mistake..." Her eyes teared up. "You knew I hadn't seen him since Mexico." Marshall didn't say anything and Mary sat there for a minute trying to be as rational as she was capable. "I'm really tired. I'm going to bed." Mary painfully got up and went to her bedroom, shutting the door, leaving a stunned and broken Marshall in her living room.

She laid down on her bed, thinking about the multiple issues with what he just revealed to her...his reaction to her sleeping with Faber, him believing it, that being why he left her alone to handle Cassidy. Leaving her with three conclusions: Marshall didn t trust her, he really thought that little of her, he was in love with her.


Marshall sat on the chair staring after Mary. He was shocked by her silent reaction; he was expecting her to yell but not reply quietly and walk away. The look on her face spoke volumes, she was hurt and he was the cause. He wanted to go to her, follow her to talk more but he wasn't sure he had the right at the moment. He took a breath, stood up and walked to her door. He knocked softly, opening the door not waiting for her to say it was ok. "Mare?" He saw her on her bed, not looking at him, but staring blankly at the ceiling. He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed beside her. "I'm sorry."

She could hear the sincerity in his voice and his eyes when he spoke earlier. "I know." She didn't say anything else.

Marshall's stomach clenched. "Mare, I know I screwed up, but..." He wanted to ask how to fix it, what she was thinking.

"You don't trust me." Her voice was quiet, but the words went through him like a knife.

"Mare, I trust you. God...you are my partner, of course I trust you." His voice raspy.

Mary looked at him finally, her eyes glassy. "But you think so little of me, that I would be fucking Faber." Her voice and words cutting. "Mexico was a year ago and I haven't been with anyone since. If I was, don't you think you would know." She stared at him angrily. "Better yet...you have Abby, so why would you care who I screw."

Marshall flinched at her words. She was right, he had Abby but it wasn't the same. "I...his words hit a nerve. I was angry at you for being with him."

Mary didn't let him finish. "Once! A fucking year ago!" Marshall didn't say anything, just sat there. "So tell me Marshall what should I think?"

His eyes filled, he was regretting not staying in the living room. He stood up and started pacing, running his fingers through his hair not wanting to have this conversation. He didn't know how to say it, but her next words stopped him cold.

"You're in love with me." Her voice quiet, but toned as a question.

His eyes locked with hers and he could see the question in them. Her head tiled as she always did, looking at him in amazement as it just occurred to her. Bravely he uttered the one word that could break them both. "Yes."

Her eyes widened, then her gaze bore into him more. "How long?"

He looked at her and smiled a bit, softening at the wondrous gaze she was giving him. "Since I met you..." He blushed a bit. "It was a crush at first, then over the years my feelings for you grew." He knew he sounded corny, but at this point he need to just say it all.

Her mind was racing through their partnership, the little clues she should have picked up on that went beyond friendship. "You're with Abby."

He stood there, not daring to sit beside her and break this moment of honestly. "Yes, but I am not in love with her." He took a breath. "I gave up on there being an us, when you went to Mexico."

Her heart rate increased as she thought back to his words before her trip. "You meant you..." Her voice soft as she was talking to herself. "You are an idiot!" His eyes widened surprised by her outburst. "You have been my partner for years and you of all people know sudelty doesn't work with me." She huffed. "You should have told me."

He laughed. "You would have run." He looked at her. "Hell...you did run."

She stared at him and her expression was once again one he could not read. "I avoid, I admit, but I don't run from you." Her voice trying to convey her sincerity. "You are the most important person in my life and if you don't know that by know...there is no point to this conversation." She really was exhausted, she yawned and let her eyes slip shut as sleep took her.

Marshall stood there for awhile, just watching her. Her breathing evened out and he knew she was asleep. He knew she was tired too much of an emotionally draining conversation after all this. He sat down in the chair in the corner of her room and watcher her sleep till he joined her.


Mary started to wake up, her body pulsing in pain. Her eyes came to focus on Marshall's sleeping form. She knew she fell asleep before they finished talking, but she was exhausted. Painfully she moved to sit up, hissing through her teeth to stop from crying out.

Marshall heard her and was instantly awake. "Mare, let me help." He helped her to sit up, noting her stiff movements, the pain obvious. "Wait...let me get your meds." He quickly left the room, coming back with water and her medication. "Here you go."

She accepted it gratefully, putting both pills in her mouth and downing the glass of water. "Thanks." He waited for her to say something. "You should go."

"Mare, the doctor said you were not to be alone." He didn't want to leave.

"I know, I can call Mom or Brandi." Her voice soft.

Her words startled him. "You would rather be with your mom and sister over me?"

"You have work and a girlfriend, neither allow you to be my babysitter." She stood up achingly slow.

Marshall stood and stepped in front of her. "Stan will be fine and I don't care about what Abby thinks about me being here."

Her eyes widened then narrowed. "Nice, I am sure she appreciates that." She stepped around him.

"Mare, don't do this. We need to finish our conversation." His tone steady and hopeful.

She kept walking right to the bathroom, turning to face him before closing the door. "Fine. When I come out." With that she closed the door, her mind whirling and wondering where this conversation will lead.


Twenty minutes later she came out to the smell of Marshall making breakfast. Good timing. He put a plate of eggs, bacon and toast on the table. "Eat up, can't be good to take those meds on an empty stomach."

She smiled, her stomach rumbling. "Wow. Thanks." They both ate in silence, when done Marshall was the first to talk.

"I know I am important to you." He paused staring at her. "But your opinion on relationships is skewed at best and I didn't want you to run from me...call me paranoid, but the idea of you running terrifies me."

She was staring at him intently, absorbing his words. "Ok."

His eyebrow went up. "That's it. Ok?"

She nodded. "What do you want now?" She could see his panic, so she kept talking. Y"ou said you love me, present tense. In more then a friend partner way?" He nodded. "Ok, then now what?"

"Mare, you haven't said how you feel about me. That's a big factor in the what now..." He smiled softly at her, his heart hammering in his chest.

Mary was staring at him, knowing she had to say something. "I can't tell you I don't feel something, I have never pushed the thought for fear of screwing us up." She could see hope in his eyes. "If we don't work I lose you."

He got off his chair, to kneel in front of her. "You will NEVER lose me." He held her hands and saw her eyes tear up. "Because of, not in spite of."

Recognition instantly registered from his words, when he talked to her long ago about Rafe. "They will split us up."

Marshall smiled and laughed. "No, they won't. Stan wouldn't let that happen and seriously, who would they find that either of us would get along with."

She smiled knowing it was true. They were both notorious for not playing well with others. "You have a girlfriend."

"I can easily take care of that." He was ready to jump out of his skin, waiting for her to agree.

She was staring at him with a look of sheer awe. "I want you to be happy."

He smiled, his throat tightening. "You would make me happy."

"Promise me, we will still be friends if this doesn't work?" Her voice wavering.

He grinned. "Done." He leaned up and kissed her gently on the lips. When he felt her kiss him back, his heart soared. He broke the kiss, still kneeling in front of her. "You ok here, for an hour."

"Yeah?" She looked at him confused.

"Alright, I will be right back." He stood up and grabbed his keys.

"Where are you going?" She was lost.

"To pack myself some clothes and to get stuff from my house." He smiled at her. "More importantly to break up with Abby." He smiled kissing her forehead, leaving behind a very speechless Mary.