Yes! 12 reviews! You guys are awesome! Give yourself a hug for being so awesome!

I decided to make this a review challenge. I will update at once a week but if I get ten or more reviews I'll update twice before next week, but if I get less than three reviews I won't update the next week cause I'm a review pig. For those of you who read my other stories you know I don't update weekly so this will be a challenge for me. I'll probably update on Mondays and Thursday most of the times.

Vlad:Wait you're actually going to do this?

Me:Yeah amazing for a procrastinator like me.

Also I'm still not sure if this story's going to follow twelfth grade kill's plot or not so don't ask.

Special thanks to crazyx-xjayjay for the idea in the beginning of this chapter and wrothmonk for being the first to review an giving me the Calvin and Hobbes idea I never noticed that before but now that I do I'll definately use some Calvin and Hobbes moment.


Rule 4: there is only one thing that can help you fight against the antics of half-vampire children:coffee.


Otis yawned tiredly, waking up in the morning instead of night was going to take a lot of getting used to. Fortunately for him the little terror, aka Vlad, was still fast asleep. Deciding that surviving Vlad's antics can be fought with only one weapon: coffee.

Still yawning, he headed into the kitchen and hurriedly made some coffee, taking a sip, he burned his tongue and decided to let it cool. He headed into the living room and decided to rest, if only for a moment. Closing his eyes and relaxing on the living room's couch he, fell asleep


Rule 5: if the half-vampire kid get the coffee then... well then good luck.


"Past! Futuwe! Past! Futuwe! Past! Futuwe," Otis woke up to the sound of Vlad's gleeful cry.

Vlad was practically vibrating with energy, running between the kitchen and the living room dragging his stuffed tiger behind him, "Past! Futuwe! Past! Fu-"

"What are you doing?" Otis demanded.

Vlad grinned at him innocently, "Time twaveling," he replied, he pointed to the digital clocks, still vibrating.

Otis followed Vlad's gaze and saw the living room clock read 10:45 and the other in the kitchen 10:51.

Otis groaned. "Past! Futuwe! Past! Nowmal!" Vlad declared putting a foot on each room.

"Vlad-"

Past! Futuwe! Past Futuwe! No-"

"Vlad?"

"Past! Futuwe! Past! Futuwe!"

"Vlad!"

"Nowmal! Past! Futuwe! Past! Futuwe! Nowmal!" Vlad chanted.

"Vladimir Tod shut up!" Otis roared.

Vlad stared at Otis in horror and then screamed shouting, "You said a bad word!" The toddler ran through the halls hollering on the of his lungs.

"No I didn't!" Otis argued.

"Yes you did!" Vlad insisted from across the halls, "You said the s-word!"
"I didn't say shi- uh I mean shoot," Otis told him.

"Not that word!" Vlad said in exasperation with annoyance only a three year old could muster, "The othew one."

"Which bad word?"

Vlad shook his head refusing to repeat the word.

Suddenly it dawned on Otis, "Oh you mean shut up," he nodded.

"You said it again!" Vlad shrieked.

"Shut up's not a bad word," Otis debated.

Unfortunately for Otis, Vlad started chanting, "You said a bad word! You said a bad word! You said a bad word!"

"SHUT UP!"

"You said it-"

Before Vlad could reply the doorbell rang, Otis gave Vlad a glare that meant certain death if the toddler didn't shut his mouth.

Otis opened the door revealing a pretty human woman with brown hair. The human looked quite startled at what she had heard from outside the house/

"Aunt Newwy!" Vlad cheered gleefully, running up to the human, "Uncle Otis said a bad word! It's weawy bad!"

Otis wanted to face-palm, for some strange reason he wanted to impress this human.

The human was the first to react, "Hi, I'm Nelly, and you must be Tomas's brother," the woman smiled, it was a forced smile, but at least she was trying. She stuck out her hand from him to shake.

She seemed oddly calm for a person who had just met a blood sucking demon of the night.

"Umm Otis Otis," the vampire introduced himself.

"Pleasure."

Vlad stared at Nelly expectantly as if he wanted Nelly to yell at Otis for saying a bad word, "Aunt Newwy," he whined, "Otis said a bad word!"

"I heard," Nelly nodded, "from across the streets." Oops he hadn't been that loud had he?

"But-but he was annoying!" Otis stuttered, "he can't on running around the house saying 'past, future, past, future-" he mentally slapped himself for sounding so childish.

"And nowmal," Vlad added helpfully.

Nelly stared at the two vampires, and shrugged, "Well did you have breakfast yet Vlad?" she asked changing the topic.

Otis knew he'd be in trouble once Vlad said no, now the little vampire will seem like a deprived child.

To Otis's surprise (not to mention Nelly's) Vlad nodded happily. Otis gave a sigh of relief, that is until Otis noticed the huge mess in the kitchen, bags of chips and cookies had been opened and emptied, not to mention his cup of coffee had been drank.

"Oh shi- I mean shoot," Otis corrected himself.

"Why does Uncle Otis keep on saying shi and changing the word?" Vlad inquired tilting his head.

Nelly didn't answer, she was too busy staring at the huge mess.

She turned to face Otis, "I really don't know why Vlad's acting like this, he's usually such an angel."

Yeah right, Otis thought.

She smiled, "Why don't we just clean up this mess?"

Otis nodded, agreeably.

Vlad sat on a chair placidly playing with Stripes, his sugar high finally leaving, "Newwy?" he asked, "Can we see Amenti?"

Nelly paused for a second and nodded, "Sure you and Otis can come to my house after you apologize to Otis for making a mess."

"I sowwy," Vlad said to Otis, he paused and added, "Stwipes says he's sorry too. It was his idea."

He paused for a second as if listening to what the toy tiger was saying before he said, "Yes it is," he told the toy tiger, "it was youw idea to have the chips for bweakfast. Stop lying."

Otis watched as Vlad launched into a heated debate with Stripes.

"Is that normal for little kids?" he asked Nelly, "or is he just a little bit... crazy?"

Nelly laughed, "Yes, don't worry. As a nurse I've seen thousands of kids talk to their toy."

"So maybe all little kids are just crazy," Otis concluded.

"I don't cawe if you wanna be called Stwipes the supweme tigew of the worwld," Otis heard Vlad tell the stuffed tiger, "I'm just cawwing you Stwipes, the othew name is too long." Vlad stuck his tongue out at the toy, he turned to the adults, "Stwipes isn't Stwipes the supweme tigew of the wowld no mattew what he says," Vlad turned to scowl at the tiger, "Well you still awen't."

Otis turned to gesture at the little boy in a see-didn't-I-tell-you-he-was-crazy? kind of way. Nelly just laughed again.

"Trust me you'll get used to how Vlad acts," she assures him.

Right, just like you can get used to toxic acid burning your skin, Otis thought darkly.

Nelly turned to get up, "I have to go wash my hands," she says, her hands dirty with chip crumbs. She turned to leave for the bathroom.


Rule 6:If things go bad duct tape your hlaf-vampire kid's mouth

Vlad turned inquiringly at Otis, "Do you wike Newwy?" he asked unexpectedly.

"What? No! Of course not!" Otis said, "I mean I guess I like her as a friend, and we just met less than an hour ago!"

"That's what Stwipes said," Vlad continued, "But do you wike her?"

"She's pretty but-"

Vlad turned to mumble something to Stripes before turning to Otis, "Stwipes still says you wike her."

"But we're just friends!" Otis protested.

At that moment Nelly stepped in looking confused.

"Aunt Newwy guess what?" Vlad shouted excitedly, "Uncle Otis wikes you!"

Hahaha my pathetic attempt at a cliffhanger.

Wow I killed my spell check with this chapter... Can little kids tell time? Anyway I got the idea because that actually happened to me and my cousin when we were on a sugar high. I annoyed my younger sibling. ;..;

Review if you thinks Stripes the stuffed toy tiger is awesome.