After the holidays had ended, Terry, Michael and Anthony boarded the Hogwarts Express for their journey back to school. They sat in a compartment with some of their fellow Ravenclaws, Stephen Cornfoot, Kevin Entwhistle and Lisa Turpin. The friends were bored for during the trip; Kevin and Lisa kept kissing and whispering something, Stephen and Michael were having a live discussion about Quidditch and Terry and Anthony were quietly discussing their Arithmancy homework.

A couple of hours after the train's departure, Stephen and Lisa started playfully arguing about something, as friends often do. Lisa would say something insulting, Stephen would tickle her, Lisa would scream and giggle and everyone else would roll their eyes.

After some time, Michael just couldn't take it anymore, so he shouted, "Oi, you two! Hansel and Gretel! Stop being so bloody annoying!"

Stephen and Lisa stopped laughing immediately.

"Um, Michael, who are Hansel and Gretel?" asked Lisa, slowly scratching her neck.

"Uh, Terry will explain it," Michael grumbled, knowing that his friend was the fairy tale expert.

"Unfortunately, Mike, I don't have the slightest clue about who Hansel and Gretel are," Terry said, eliciting surprised gasps from his friends. "Their names sound familiar, I admit, but I'm afraid I don't really know who they happen to be."

Michael sat up, his eyes widening dramatically.

"Wait, you're serious? I know something about fairy tales that you don't? Merlin, I never thought this day would arrive!"

Terry rolled his eyes.

"Now, really, Michael, I don't know everything there is to know about fairy tales, obviously," he said. "Why don't you tell us this tale?"

"Yes, Mike, enlighten us," said Anthony, winking at Michael under his glasses.

Michael seemed hesitant for a second, but hearing his friends' shouts of approval, he finally agreed.

"All right, let's get started then!" he said, rubbing his palms together. "Once upon a time, a woodcutter and his family lived in the woods. They were really poor and they rarely had something to eat."

"Why?" asked Stephen. "He was a woodcutter, they lived in the woods. Why on earth would they be poor?"

"Maybe he ran out of buyers and he couldn't sell wood anymore," said Kevin reasonably.

"The woodcutter had two children and his wife was their step-mother," said Michael, ignoring Kevin's mumbled swear. "One evening, the woodcutter's wife looked at him and said, 'Husband, we've no food anymore. We must take the children far out into the woods so that we may survive.'"

"Uh, how rotten!" said Lisa.

"Just so you know, in the original version, she's their actual mother," said Kevin. "Just so we make it clear, not all step-mothers are evil, nor are all mothers good."

"I'm sure Wayne Hopkins would agree with you," muttered Terry.

"Anyway," continued Michael, "the husband fought for a while, but eventually gave in. Hansel and Gretel overheard this as they lay in their beds, feeling hungry."

"Poor kids," said Lisa. "I know how they feel. Where on earth is that woman with the sweets trolley?"

"What kind of names are Hansel and Gretel anyway?" asked Stephen.

"Hansel is the variation of the German 'Hans'," said Anthony, adjusting his glasses. "It literally means 'little Hans' so we can assume Hansel was his nickname and that Hans was his real name. In English, it translates into 'John'. It means 'God is gracious'. Gretel is a variation of the name 'Greta', which in turn is the shortened version of the Greek name 'Margaret' which means 'pearl'."

Stephen stared at him for a couple of moments.

"It was a rhetorical question, Tony," he said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Oh. Sorry," Anthony said, his cheeks reddening.

"Back to the story!" Michael shouted, making them jump. "Our own Hans and Margaret were very sad when they heard what their parents said. Little Hansel..."

"You can't say little Hansel, Michael," said Terry.

"Why not?" asked Kevin curiously.

"Because it's a pleonasm," said Michael, rubbing his temples. "I can't believe I forgot."

"It's all right, it happens to the best of us," said Anthony, smiling encouragingly at his best friend.

"I guess," Michael said. "Okay, so, when the parents were asleep, little Hans got up from his bed and reached the window. Gretel asked his what he was doing, but he told her to be quiet and wait for him. He returned a few minutes later, his shirt filled with white pebbles."

"What, is he starting a pebble collection?" asked Stephen.

"No, I don't think he had time to think of that," said Michael with a smile. "He was too busy worrying about his upcoming death, you see. In the morning, the father took Hansel and Gretel outside the cottage. Hansel had brought his little pebbles with him..."

"Again, Mike," Terry said, grinning slowly.

"Damn it!" Michael swore, shaking his head. "I don't know what's going on with me today! Uh, anyway, their step-mother gave them both some bread and told the father to go deep into the forest."

"Why did she give them bread?" asked Lisa.

"I'm guessing it was to calm her guilty conscience," said Michael. "They weren't going to kill the children, they were just going to hope that they got lost."

"What I don't understand is why the step-mother didn't work," said Kevin thoughtfully. "I understand that women mostly stayed at home in that period, but if they were starving, I'm sure her husband wouldn't mind her helping him."

"Yeah, and Hansel and Gretel could work as well!" said Lisa. "That way, they wouldn't starve!"

"Apparently, none of them were as smart as you two are," said Michael. "As they started walking, Hansel took one of the white pebbles from his pocket and dropped it on the ground."

"Ah, yes, that's what I thought," muttered Terry.

"Why would he do that?" asked Stephen.

"It's really quite simple, Steve," said Michael with a smile. "All the way into the forest, Hansel dropped the pebbles, one by one, hoping to find the way home afterwards."

"Why would he want to do that, though?" asked Anthony. "I certainly wouldn't go back to the people who tried to kill me."

"Maybe the story is trying to illustrate how strong unconditional love is," said Terry. "Although, it greatly failed, in my opinion."

"So, the father dropped his kids of in the forest and left to cut some wood," Michael continued. "Hansel and Gretel ate their bread and fell asleep. A couple of hours later, they woke up. It was dark and they were scared and confused."

"Aw, poor kids!" said Lisa. "I just want to hug them and hold them!"

"Well, no one else is obviously going to do that," said Michael bitterly. "The kids got up and Hansel started examining the ground. Finally, he found his trail of pebbles."

"In the middle of the night?" asked Kevin. "In the dark?"

"Maybe Hansel could teach Cho Chang how to catch the Snitch," said Stephen, sniggering. "He obviously has good eye-sight."

Michael grinned.

"Yeah, the pebbles sort of glowed in the moonlight. The kids started following the trail, finally making their way back home."

"I'm sure the parents were surprised," said Terry, absent-mindedly ruffling Anthony's hair.

"Yes, they certainly were," said Michael. "The family got by for some time, but soon, they were starving again."

"How did they get by?" asked Lisa. "Weren't they just ridiculously poor? Did the step-mum finally start working?"

"I'm not sure, maybe she did," said Michael thoughtfully. "It's probably just a loophole. Anyway, the parents decided on leaving their kids in the forest once again. Again, Hans tried to get out of his room, but this time, the window was locked and he couldn't."

"Hm, so the step-mum probably guessed what happened," said Stephen. "Good for her!"

"Yes, but not so good for our poor heroes," said Michael. "In the morning, the step-mum gave them some bread once again. This time, Hansel didn't eat his bread: he placed it into his pockets."

"Oh, no," groaned Lisa. "He's not actually going to..:"

"I think he is, Lise," said Stephen. "I think he is."

"Right again, of course," said Michael. "During their trip to the woods, Hansel dropped little crumbs of bread on the ground."

"Is he an idiot?" asked Stephen. "Because, honestly, this is very stupid."

"Well, we mustn't forget, the children were very little," said Michael. "In the evening, Hansel and his sister noticed that the crumbs of bread were, of course, eaten by birds and other animals. They sat down and cried in despair until the finally fell asleep. When they woke up, they saw a peculiar little white bird."

"It couldn't have been a Northern Gannet, as they're not small. A Great Egret is also quite large and lives by the sea. I suppose it could've been a Cattle Egret, but it lives in the tropics as well. A Common Gull, possibly, but they're not all white, nor are the Iceland Gulls, who are rare in Europe. Maybe it was just a white Dove."

Everyone looked at Anthony.

"Seriously, mate, is there something you don't know?" asked Stephen.

"My memory is very good," said Anthony, wiping his glasses hurriedly.

"Whatever the bird was, it was very intriguing. Hansel and Gretel got up and followed it deeper into he forest."

"Because they're idiots who follow birds instead of trying to find their way out," said Kevin. "Although, in most of these stories, an odd and friendly animal actually is the way out."

Michael nodded.

"Well, it wasn't exactly a way out, but it did lead them towards an odd little house."

"Why was it odd?" asked Terry. "Was it very small, or did it have no windows...?"

"Actually, it was made completely out of sweets," said Michael, looking into the distance.

"Com- completely out of sweets?" asked Lisa, her mouth watering ever so slightly. "Now I really want to find that lady with the trolley."

"Yes, it was made of gingerbread," Michael continued, "and it was covered with bits of chocolate and little sweets..."

"Were there any Bertie Bott's?" asked Stephen, his eyes glazed over.

"Well..." Michael hesitated, "This is a Muggle story... But sure, we can say that. Let's say that the foundation was made out of Every Flavour Beans, that Chocolate Frogs jumped around happily, that Ice Mice squeaked on the window panes... The windows were transparent sugar candy and the fence was made out of peppermint sticks. The chimney was made out of Cauldron Cakes, with Chocoballs on top. Fizzing Whizzbees were sticking out of the walls, along with Liquorice Wands and Sugar Quills, and the roof was made out of best chocolate, with occasional Pink Coconut Ice."

By now, almost everyone's mouth was watering.

"Maybe..." started Stephen weakly, "Maybe I should check to see where the trolley-lady went."

"Oh, please do, Steve!" said Lisa, looking positively desperate. "I need my Ice Mice!"

"The, um, Chocoballs have strawberry filling, right?" asked Terry, whose love of strawberries was known by most of his acquaintances.

"Uh, Sugar Quills..." said Anthony distractedly.

"Right-o!" said Michael, trying to concentrate. "Hansel and Gretel acted like we just did and ran over to the house, diving in."

"Well, they could've at least knocked first," said Terry, shaking his head.

"Exactly. A few minutes later, they heard a voice saying, 'Nibble, nibble, like a mouse, who is eating up my house?'", said Michael in what he thought was an old lady voice.

"Uh-oh, that's bad," said Stephen. "Although, that person did make a sweet house, it's not like someone could resist trying it."

"I don't think I could even try living in that house without eating it," said Kevin.

"Maybe the owner had diabetes," said Anthony. "My grandma has it."

"Uh, I don't think it was that, Tony," said Michael, smiling. "Hansel and Gretel replied, 'Tis the tempest wild, the storm's own child!'"

"Seriously? Not only do they start eating someone's house, but they also lie about it?" asked Lisa incredulously.

"And in rhyme," sniggered Stephen.

"And so lamely," finished Kevin.

"How on earth would anyone believe that?" asked Anthony. "It's like if someone asks 'Is there anyone home?' and you shout 'No'."

"Plus, how did the owner even know that someone was eating the house?" asked Lisa. "Homenum Revelio?"

"Probably," replied Michael. "Anyway, the door of the house opened and an old woman walked out of it. The children explained what had happened and she invited them in."

"Uh-oh," said Kevin. "Why do kids never remember not to follow strangers?"

"Well, I suppose they really were starving," said Stephen.

"The 'nice' old lady gave them dinner," said Michael, "and took them to bed. The beds were soft and pearly white."

"See, that's lovely!" said Stephen. "The lady gives them food and lets them sleep. Good for them!"

Kevin snorted.

"I don't think so, Steve," he said.

"Kev is right, of course," Michael added. "The old lady turned out to be an evil witch."

"Uh, why didn't I see it coming?" asked Terry, shaking his head.

"When the children fell asleep, the witch locked Hansel in a bird cage," said Michael.

"That's... odd," said Lisa. "What exactly was she planning to do with him?"

"Well... She was going to eat him," said Michael, grimacing.

"And Muggles seriously tell these stories to children?" asked Stephen. "Blimey, I'd run away from home."

"So, the witch made Hansel eat and eat, while making Gretel clean, cook and do housework," said Michael. "But, the children were brighter than they let on; you see, they noticed that the witch had very poor eyesight."

"Why doesn't she just fix it with magic?" asked Lisa.

"Oh, come off it, Lisa, you know that's dangerous!" said Stephen. "That's why most people choose not to do it. Plus, you'd need a Healer to perform the charm. God forbid a random witch with lousy eyesight try it."

"Right, so, every time when the witch wanted to see how fat Hansel had become, she would ask him to give her his finger, only he would give her a chicken bone instead."

"And the witch didn't think that was suspicious?" asked Terry. "The fact that he wasn't getting any larger?"

"Apparently not," replied Michael. "In the end, she decided to eat him anyway and she made Gretel turn on the oven. Gretel pretended not to know how, so the witch decided to show her..."

"Uh-oh," said Anthony.

"...and Gretel pushed her inside, turning up the fire."

Everyone fell silent and stared at Michael.

"So, little Gretel's a murdering maniac already, huh?" asked Stephen. "So young and so special."

"Finally, Hansel and Gretel ran away and went home."

"How did they find their way now?" asked Lisa.

"The same bird from before showed them the way," said Michael.

"Yeah, because following that bird went so well the first time," said Kevin.

"So, the kids returned to their homicidal parents," said Stephen. "Now Lisa, please step out of the compartment, we'd like to change."