Chapter 3! Been trying to write/update as fast as possible, knowing how annoying it is when the stories I follow don't get updated for months.

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Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I just like to write about it, a lot :D Everything belongs to JK Rowling, and it's gonna stay that way.

Lily POV

I continued to run until James was well out of my site, but suddenly just putting a few hundred feet between us didn't seem as helpful as it had originally. I wanted to put enough space between us so that he wouldn't be able to find me anytime soon.

I ran as fast as I could manage without knocking down curious first years, sprinted up the various moving staircases, and finally found myself in total solitude on the top of the Astronomy Tower, where I finally let my feelings escape.

The look on his face when I told him that I had cared about him, that I loved him, it looked as if it was angry. But why would he be angry? It couldn't be anything I had done. He was the one who had let our relationship die, thrown aside for a fun night in a broom closet. And just after I had been telling Alice about how wonderful he had been to me this year.

I thought our relationship would have meant something more. After avoiding the rumors that I had just been using him, it seemed that there would be nothing that could stop the wonderful times we were having. I had imagined myself being with him for as long as he would have me, which evidently, wasn't long at all.

The tears flowed freely now, cascading down my face, staining my t-shirt with drops tainted with love, sadness, and disappointment. This was the most I had let myself go since the passing of my parents. I even then I had held a strong composure in public, not letting people see how much it got to me. Strong face forward, always.

But right now, I could care less whether or not anyone saw me. This heart break wasn't something that I could just sweep under a carpet and cry about in the confines of my room. No, everyone knew about this, everyone knew my public humiliation and the cause of my sorrows. I didn't care if anyone saw me in this pitiful state, I was too far gone to care that much.

Of course, as soon as my mind acknowledged this, I heard footsteps coming up to the top of the Astronomy Tower. I put my head down, hoping to Merlin that it wasn't James or any of the Marauders. But I guess the universe decided to out-do itself, and a few moments later James' head poked timidly through the door, obviously slowed and cautious by the sound of my tears.

"Lily," he murmured quietly, as if he was afraid that a loud noise would scare me away. "Lily, shush, please don't cry, love."

I looked up at him through a curtain of hair, still crying, challenging him to say it again. When he opened his mouth, I pushed my hair back, unleashed one of my famous glares at him, let it sit in for a moment, and then got up to leave. Being comforted by the person who had caused my problems was not really what I had in mind for the rest of my night.

He didn't move to stop me, but as I passed him on my way out of the door he suddenly grabbed my wrist, pulling me to face him.

"Lily….Lils please listen to me. I know I must be the last person you want to talk to right now, but I have to get this out. But please, Lily, just listen to me for a moment, yeah?"

He looked at me pleadingly, and for some reason, some strange uncalled-for reason, I sat down on the floor of the tower, nodding my head in a signal for him to continue.

He joined me on the floor and resumed his speech.

"I've been a real prat to you for the last month. Beyond awful in every way and I know that maybe that's forgivable, but what I did to you was unforgivable. I listened to petty gossip, twisted words that people had said, and went running off as always, acting before I even knew what was going on, and I'm so very sorry for that Lily."

He noticed my confusion then, continuing to explain exactly what had caused his behavior.

"Sirius heard Alice and Mary talking in the common room. They thought that you were leading me on or something, trying to see if you could "tame" the notorious James Potter, so he told me that you were using me. I didn't really believe that you had finally fallen for me, so I believed him, even thought that you had a bet about me or something."

James' face had taken the appearance of a person guilty and embarrassed, and I swear he muttered something like "stupidest thing I've ever done, bloody idiot". But before I had time to ask, he continued.

"And then I heard you and Alice talking in the library about how much I had changed since the start of the year, and I, I guess I just snapped. You were probably talking about how I was trying to mature to be with you, but I thought that you were using that to prove your bet or something stupid like that. Can't believe that you'd be that cruel, but I just couldn't figure that you would fall for me after all this time. So when Marlene hit on me that night I decided to get a bit of revenge, if you will. Show you that you didn't own me, try to make it look like I cared less than I did. Course that got me nowhere. I lost you, hurt you, left myself alone, and probably ruined any chance I'll ever have with you. But yea, that's what I did. And I'm so sorry for everything. I'm an idiot, and this all might be for nothing, because I know I wouldn't want to forgive me, but please Lily, I can't live with myself knowing that you're in pain because of my screw up."

After a few moments of silence, I realized that he was finally done with the tale of James Potter's Biggest Screw Up Ever, as I had named it upon hearing his story of assumption and miscommunication; mostly in the department of acting without ever asking his girlfriend if what he was thinking was true or not.

But now that he had finished, I realized that he would want an answer. So occupied with listening, I hadn't even begun to think about my response.

On one hand, I was relieved to find out that James did have feelings for me and that I hadn't done anything to drive him away. No, our relationship train-wreck was the product of petty gossip, uninformed girlfriends, and insecure teenage boys. Still, he hadn't said anything about loving me, which was my biggest problem. He had told me thousands of times before we started dating, but as soon as my first "yes" the "I love yous" had stopped. It seemed as if he was afraid of scaring me away, which I could understand, but now he knew that I loved him, I had told him a little over an hour ago. That excuse wasn't valid anymore, so he must not feel the same way, but I would still have to ask. Assuming feelings was what got us in this mess in the first place.

I made my face as cleared and steady as I could. If he didn't love me, I couldn't let myself show him how much that hurt. But if he did, if he did, then maybe his apology wouldn't be for nothing after all.