Finally chapter 4! Sorry for the wait guys, got hit with some severe writers block with a side of "the-play-I'm-in-was-in-hell week-and-I-had-no-time-to-write"…so yea. Hope you all like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own HP. A duh.

Previously…..

I made my face as cleared and steady as I could. If he didn't love me, I couldn't let myself show him how much that hurt. But if he did, if he did, then maybe his apology wouldn't be for nothing after all…..

James POV

…bollocks. Damn. Curse it to Godric she wasn't answering, hardly even acknowledging me, her face pulled back into a mask free of emotion. Normally, when I did anything to anger her, she unleashed all of her fury not holding anything back. But now….now she just looked like she was trying not to cry. And that was not to be tolerated.

"Lily…" I tentatively tried, hoping not to spook her away, but to call her back from whatever reserved state she was in.

She turned towards me then, as if bracing herself for something.

"Lily I…."

"James," she interrupted, a cautious look fleeting across her face. "James I can forgive you for, for what you did. Yes, you should have talked to me before doing something that unbelievably stupid, but what matters is that you talked to me now and we can move past this."

"That's….really….what….Lily that's great, thank you, I never wanted to hurt you babe and now…" I cut off when I saw the look on her face. It looked like she was about to tell me my favorite pet had died or something and I immediately knew that something else was coming, something that she was sure that I wouldn't like. At all.

She looked down at her feet as she continued. "This, this is wonderful and I really care for you but…"

"Don't say it" I pleaded in my head.

"….I think that, given the climate around us and the certain events that have occurred..."

"Please don't Lily. I can protect you from our war-ridden 'climate' and I will work endlessly to make it up to you for being such a git"

"…that we shouldn't purse this relationship anymore."

A lengthy silence followed that statement, filling the air around them, making the room feel increasingly smaller. The tension flowing between the two did nothing but increase the sudden serious tone the conversation seemed to take.

And suddenly, I couldn't take it anymore. I struggled to remain calm as I answered.

"No."

Her eyes snapped up at me, assessing the situation before responding.

"James you don't understand, this doesn't work for me anymore. I can't do this." She sank down even further into the ground then, looking suddenly defeated, as if saying these things were taking an immense toll on her.

"I won't accept that Lily. I can't accept that. I have apologized, bared my soul to you, made you understand what happened, and all you can say is that it won't work anymore? Merlin Lily, I thought you were braver and more understanding than that!"

This might not have been the best thing to say, but comments like those normally got a rise out of Lily, and I needed her to lose that mask of defiance and to show me what she was really feeling.

Lily, true to her nature, responded with more emotion than she had shown since I finished explaining my faults in our situation.

"Don't. You. Dare tell me that I'm not brave James Potter!" she screamed at him. "You have no idea how much pain you've caused me, even now, so just stop making a fool of yourself and let me go!"

Though her ranting probably continued, I had zoned out after "…how much pain you've caused me, even now…" had left her lips. I was still hurting her? This was most likely the reason that she was still hesitant to resume their relationship, so without another thought he reached out and grabbed her arms, effectively shaking her out of her ramblings.

"Lily. Hush. Listen to me love. Tell me what's really going on here. And none of that nonsense you've been spewing, I know there's something else wrong. Please tell me. If it was something I did I promise you I'll fix it."

Lily just shook her head in the universal sign for 'no', so I tried again.

"Something I said then?"

Seeing a slight head nod from her, I went to press on, but was stopped by a quick shake of the head, again indicating no.

I was about to press for more answers when I heard her mumble "It's not something you said, it's something you didn't." Before I could fully process what she meant, she completely lost her resolve to remain emotionless and crumbled into a ball, sobs jerking her body, held up only by my hands, which were still around her arms.

"Lily," I whispered into her ear while turning her around so that I could lean her against my body and not worry about letting her fall over.

"Lily please tell me what happened. I can't bear to see you like this."

She turned her head into my chest, obstructing my view of her face as she said something into my jumper that I failed to hear.

"One more time, love. I can't hear what you're saying."

Calming her sobs, Lily looked up at me, and said the three words that shocked me to the core. I never thought I'd hear them, but, here they were. But so soon followed by one of the most false statements I had ever heard. This had to be fixed, now.

"I love you. But, James, we can't be together if you don't love me back, and judging on how you treated me over the last few weeks, you don't."