Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter of James or Lily or anything in this story. I'm sure these words even belong to someone else but hey, I'm bored and I want to write(;

A/N: While writing this chapter, I finally figured out where I really want to go with this story! ALSO! I apologize for the shortness of most of the chapters thus far. Not really knowing where I was going to end the story didn't help, but now that I know, I'm hoping to get the chapters much longer in length for all of you wonderful readers! If you enjoy what you're reading, please please please read and review!

Lily POV

There. I said it. Told him I loved him. Finally he would understand that I couldn't take being with him if he didn't love me. I looked up at him, trying to read his reactions. He looked excited for a moment, then confused, possibly hurt, and then finally determined. Before I could speak, he grabbed my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him.

He lowered his head to be level with mine, searching my eyes with his piercing orbs. Titling my head up with a gentle hand placed on the bottom of my chin, he brought his lips to mine, capturing them in quick kiss before drawing back.

"I…" he started, before taking my lips again, moving over them with a bit longer than the first kiss.

"Love…" he continued, lingering a bit more this time, caressing my face with a gentle touch while pulling back a bit to nip on my bottom kip.

"You…" he finished, leaning into me with a new passion, drawing me into his body, letting his practiced tongue glide over my lips before slipping it into my mouth, dancing with around with a practiced skill that made me instantly melt.

Wait. What? Instantly melting? Into the boy…no man…that had broken my heart? Yes, I had been hoping that once I told him that I loved him, he would confess his own feelings and we would be able to resume our relationship. But was it even possible for us to be the same. I told him that I could forgive him, but that did not mean that I could forget what he had done.

Who goes off and kisses a random girl in a broom closet after they think their girlfriend has manipulating them, without feeling very guilty, if they love their girlfriend? The longer I pondered it, the more it didn't make sense to me. Not his actions, I didn't think that he would lie to me about that. James was a very passionate person who was known for rash decisions.

No, it was his professions of love that didn't make sense to me. While James could be an annoying prat, he did have a conscious and a heart. It simply didn't add up that he would have thought so little about my feelings while attempting to get back at me no matter how mad he was. Throughout the years, when he tormented me, he had never really crossed the line from joking insulting to full out malicious, planned hurt.

It took me about ten seconds to go through that thought process. Finally reaching my decision, I surfaced for air, pulling back from James and putting space between the two of us in a matter of seconds. Looking at his face, a mixture of hope and confusion, I almost wavered, but I knew that I would have to stay strong while I told him what I needed him to hear.

"James, James listen to me. I'm happy that you love me. It's something that I've wanted ever since we got together. But I just, I don't think you really feel that way. You hurt me, and I know that you've apologized and that I accepted, but I cannot help but think that you're imagining things. I want you back so badly, but the way you so easily went to get revenge on what you thought was happening, it's not like you.

I think we had a real good run with this. Maybe someday we could talk about this again, but right now, I don't think I can trust you, or your feelings."

I waited for my words to set in and for the shouting to start. It was a complete surprise to hear only a dejected whisper come from James.

"You really think that Lily?" he asked. "You really think that my feelings are just something that I think I should feel to get you back? Lily I was angry, more so than I think I've ever been, and I acted like a fool. But that's it Lils. You forgiving me gave me hope for at least friendship, and then when you told me you loved me I thought that we could have the relationship I've always wanted with you. And now you tell me that my feelings aren't real? You have to trust me on this Lily."

"Trusting you was what got us into this mess in the first place," I said in response, and then moved to get up and leave the tower before he could see how much this really was affecting me. If I was to move on he could not know how much I wanted to succumb to his words.

He grabbed my arm before I could move too far away from him. "You know I won't give up on you, right? You're going to trust me again, I can promise you that."

The longing in his voice was apparent, but I was sure that he had finally picked a challenge that he couldn't achieve.

"You can try." And with that I wrenched my arm from his grasp and practically ran from the tower. Slowing down a bit on the stairs so I didn't trip and fall down the long spiral, I willed myself to think of anything but the conversation I had just ended. Tears could wait until I reached my dorm room. Thankful that Head Girls had separate living quarters than the rest of the seventh-year Gryffindors, I whispered my password to the old painting as I reached it and slipped into the small common room that lead to the private bed room and bathroom I was allowed.

Staying strong? Maybe in front of James I found it necessary, but in the confines of my private space, crying was completely allowable.

And even though I had told him and myself that I wouldn't be ready to trust him for a long time, I silently hoped that he was very committed to his promise to win my trust back. With that thought, I fell into a wrestles slumber, waking a few times on the somewhat lumpy couch to roll over and find a new position for rest. After the third time I woke up, I decided to just head to the library and start a few of my essays for class. Getting my head out the clouds and not focusing on James would be the best bet. I grabbed my books from the table next to the couch and walked quickly to the portrait exit.

Leaving the room in such a hurry, I almost missed the small flower on the ground outside the portrait. The red rose could only be from one person.

"I hope this isn't all he plans on doing," I thought as I picked up the delicate flower. Even if I didn't think James was completely sincere about loving me, it didn't diminish my own feelings for him. If he planned to regain my trust, then hopefully he would do it in such a way that I could be with him again.

Until then, sulking in the library with a broken heart would most likely be the extent of my social life.