A/N: So this is the longest chapter so far. I just started writing and couldn't stop.

Thank you so much for the lovely reviews! I love all of you! We're at 18 at this point, so thank you so much all of you lovelies! Also, a thank you to the 14 of you who have added it to your favorites list and the 44 who are following this story. you guys rock.

James POV

Getting out of bed seemed like a chore. Going to classes required too much effort for my taste. Even eating was a distracting nuisance now. The only thing I could think about was ache in my chest that seemed to increase every time I returned my attention to it.

The muggle contraption that Sirius had left out before he went to breakfast continued to play music. It was the only company I had now. Some Muggle band called The White Stripes was sounding through the room now, singing some song called "Jolene" if the record case was correct. I hadn't really been paying attention, but a few spare lyrics caught my ear.

Your beauty is beyond compare

With flaming locks of auburn hair

With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green

Your smile is like a breath of spring

Your voice is soft like summer rain

And I cannot compete with you, Jolene

The song reminded me of Lily. Hell, everything reminded me of Lily at this point. Now, I wasn't competing with some girl named Jolene for a boy, but all of the other lyrics rained true. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, the only one that I had ever really bothered to pursue.

'And now she's gone…' I thought. I was so sure that she had wanted me to win her back. No, I was certain that she wanted me to. But I had gone for it…and had been denied. In front of the entire student body and most of the teachers no less. I had decided to go all out. Making myself look stupid for her to show that I would do anything to win her back seemed like a great idea at the time, until she had reminded me, plan already in action, that I did something this outlandish at least twice a week. And so did Sirius, even Remus or Peter would make complete fools of themselves on an off day.

How could I have been so stupid? The only thing that had been motivating me to work in class, finish homework, even eat lately, was the fact that Lily Evans was letting me court her and win her affection. And now that hope was dashed.

Maybe I was becoming a melodramatic prat, but I couldn't stop feeling like everything I had been doing for the past week, the past three or four years even, was for nothing. The worst part was that this time I had seen no hesitation or dismay as Lily had rejected me. It was only disappointment. What that meant, well bloody hell how was I supposed to know? Women were impossible to read. I liked to believe that the disappointment was there because she was disappointed in my attempt to woo her. But the pessimistic part of my brain, the dominant one currently, told me that she was just plain disappointed in me.

Of course, after our last miscommunication, I was hesitant to jump to any conclusions. The last time I had it resulted in this whole mess.

'Hey, that must show that I've changed,' I thought to myself. 'Before this I wouldn't have thought twice about jumping out of this bed and confronting Lily. Now I'm just sitting in my bed, wallowing in my own misery, not doing much of anything.'

I rolled over in my bed, contemplating on whether or not to change the record that Sirius had put in, when I heard the sound. Footsteps, pounding up the spiral staircase that led to the dorm my friends and I resided in. However, these footsteps were lighter than normal, and not quite as loud as any produced by someone who normally came up to the room.

Whoever it was paused outside the room, and then slowly turned the door handle. Preparing the speech about how sick I was for whatever Professor had decided to come and check on me, I turned towards the door…and swallowed down the "I'm feeling quite sick" that had been about to come up.

In my doorway was no Professor McGonagall…it was Lily Evans, heartbreaker extraordinaire, or love of my life? Maybe that was the melodramatic James talking...either way her entrance caused my heart to miss a beat and my insides to melt. If I had been standing I would have bet you ten Galleons that I would have collapsed in some way.

"James…?" She spoke quietly, as if she was afraid of scaring me away. Like that could ever happen…

"James can I come in?" she questioned, for I had showed no recognition to her first prompt. I nodded my head once and took a deep breath to calm down my erratic heart beats as she crossed the room and sat at the end of my bed. She looked at me as if she expected me to start the conversation, but when I didn't even move from my pillow, she inhaled…exhaled…and began to talk.

"So I noticed that you weren't in any classes or at breakfast…so I might have asked Remus if you were unwell…and he might have told me that you were up in bed with a heavy case of heartbreak…and he may have conveyed in no words at all that this is all my fault. And I got to thinking, that I might have been a bit harsh to you in my rather public rejection of your advances. So I've come to, first off, apologize for my actions the other morning."

I joined the conversation then. "No, Lily, I hadn't realized it then, but you were right. We've done things like that many times. It was stupid to think that just doing that would be all that I would need to get you back."

Lily nodded at this. "Right then, that's not the only reason I'm here though. You see, I wanted to check on you. This isn't the first time I've told you no, but I do believe this is the first time that you've taken to your bed for more than a day's time because of it. Are you alright?"

I took a moment before answering. I decided to tell her everything. This could be my last chance to sway Lily and earn her trust. I was someone who had no problem standing in front of a crowd and professing my love to someone, or even an opinion. But when it came to being overly affectionate and sharing my feelings, well that was a rare occurrence. The most it happened was when Sirius received another threatening and degrading letter from his family and he was in a talkative mood, needing to vent about his loveless childhood. But even those moments had disappeared over the last few years since he had run away and moved in with me. And the last time I had shared my feelings with a girl…well that was never unless you counted a few talks with my mother over the years. Yes, I was moving into unknown territory, and maybe that leap of faith would be enough to convince Lily that my feelings for her were true.

"I really…I just thought I would get you this time, ya know? I could see it in your eyes though, when you said no, that you were disappointed in what I had done as my stunt to get your trust back. And that just, it hit me that I might as well had done nothing, because you obviously weren't going to accept me back after I told you that I would get you back and then went and acted well…arrogant. And you've always hated when I acted arrogant.

Anyways, after you left the Hall, I just felt, like everything I had been trying to do for years was all over. Empty almost, if you know what I mean. And then I just fell into bed when we got back up here, and I haven't really been able to get back up since."

I looked up at her then. She wore one of the saddest expressions that I had seen grace her face, and I continued quickly, not wanting to seem too much of a baby for my actions.

"I know it's a bit dramatic or whatever but-"

Lily cut me off. "No, James it's not. I can…understand where you're coming from with this. I might not understand completely, but it makes more sense now. Thank you for telling me this. As for telling me what you're really feeling, well…James I can tell that, that wasn't easy for you, was it?"

I nodded. "I'm not really a…feelings person myself. I mean, I have them, lots of them as you can tell from my sulking, but I'm not really one to talk about them much. It's like, sharing something overly personal and that doesn't happen too much when your friends are teenage boys who feel just about the same way. I don't think I've ever really shared my feelings with a girl before, and nothing of this magnitude ever to anyone I think."

Lily locked her gaze onto mine, and then asked the question that I had been hoping she would ever since I decided to tell her the thoughts that were running through my head.

"James, if you've never shared something like this with anyone before, then why are you telling me? I am the cause of your troubles after all."

I sighed. "Because, Lily, because you deserve to know how you make me feel. You deserve to know that I would tell you anything you wanted, how I was really feeling, anytime you wanted. You deserve to see that I really will do anything for you before you make a decision about anything, because if you leave again, I'm not sure if I'll be able to open myself up to you again. You deserve to see this side of me before you leave for good and I don't get another chance to win back the trust I lost."

I looked up to hear a slight sniffle. Lily's eyes were a bit glossy, as if they were holding back a horde of tears that were just waiting to cascade down her cheeks. I sat up and took her hands into mine and gave them a small squeeze.

"I was listening to a song earlier, on Sirius' Muggle music machine. It reminded me of you, love."

She sniffled again, and I decided to go for it. Might as well make the most of this moment…soul bearing time could only last so long before Lily got up and left or one of my friends with an uncanny ability to ruin moments came into the dorm. I shook my head to clear my thoughts, reminded myself of the lyrics, and began to sing lightly, as to not disturb the moment with too loud of a noise.

"Your beauty is beyond compare

With flaming locks of auburn hair

With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green

Your smile is like a breath of spring

Your voice is soft like summer rain"

I remembered the last line, but it had nothing to do with Lily, so I quickly improvised another verse, and continued.

"And without you I can't stand the pain"

Lily's tears had escaped now, flowing down her face freely, for her hands were still trapped in mine. I released one, and raised my hand to wipe away a few tears, and let my hand stay resting on her face.

"I love you Lily. I honestly, truly, and in every way, love you."

She leaned in closer to me and put her free hand on my cheek, mirroring my own movements. We sat like that for a moment, neither one wanting to move from the position we were in. In that moment I felt more peaceful that I had in weeks, since I had caused the breakup actually.

Lily spoke first.

"James, thank you, thank you for telling me this." She paused for a moment to reign in a few more tears, and then continued. "It, it means a lot to me that you can tell me all of this. It means the world actually. I don't really know what you see in my, I don't seem that special in my mind, but for you, for you to see all of that and to be able to tell me, even after I was so awful to you."

She took a steadying breath before speaking again.

"Yes."

I looked at her, a bit confused now. "A yes to what, Lily?"

She smiled at me then, looking so beautiful, even with the tears that were still present on her cheeks.

"Yes to trusting you. Yes to loving you. Yes to being with you again."

I sucked in a breath of surprise. I hadn't really believed that she would…agree…still love me…this didn't seem-oh hell. Why should I question the very thing that I wanted to much to happen? Over thinking the situation could wait for a bit.

For now, capturing her smiling lips in an overdue kiss would have to do.

Oh yes, it would do quite well.

A/N: I'm not really sure how far I want the story to go. A few weeks after, through some of the rest of the year, and epilogue with baby Harry or even their wedding? Any suggestions? Send me a message or leave it in your review. I love to hear from you all with your ideas!