Author's Note: So I thought I had the two parts of this chapter mapped out and then halfway through part two, Scarlett took a hard left and what you're reading happened. If I could understand my Muse and get her to do what I wanted, it would be a miracle, you guys. Instead, like every writer since the beginning of time, I am at her mercy.
~*~Chapter Nine: Feels Like Tonight, Part Two~*~
Day 80
Can't you see that there's nothing that I wanna do/But try to make it up to you
- "Feels Like Tonight" - by Daughtry
Tina's POV -
I walked away from Finn on shaky legs; ignoring his protests of Tina, come back and can you just, like, slow down?
My stomach felt heavy; like it was suddenly filled with cement or something and my heart ached as my eyes started stinging with the threat of tears. My hand was trembling so much as I tried to turn the doorknob that before I even realized it, the door to the Hudson-Hummel home was flung open by Kurt.
The sound of feet pounding on the pavement leading up to the front door didn't register with me just like Kurt's relieved voice didn't. His relief quickly turned into his typical sarcasm as he shook his head and clicked his tongue sassily, "I swear, Finnegan Christopher Hudson, you're the only eighteen year old anyone would worry about getting lost in this podunk town that's the size of a postage stamp."
"I wasn't lost, man!" He insisted as he stomped his foot. "Now can, you like get back to massaging your face? Or whatever that green goo you plastered on it was for? Tina and I need to be alone." He emphasized the word alone, adding several unnecessary syllables and that broke me out of my stupor.
"Ugh." Kurt shuddered. "You straights and you're obsession with copping feels and making out, is something I'll never understand. Just please control your urges and refrain from having sexual intercourse on the couch; that's all I ask. Besides keeping your animalistic and disgusting grunting and moaning to a minimum, of course."
The small countertenor was gone and that's when Finn came to stand in front of me; puppy dog eyes, earnest and warm. "I don't want to get back with, Quinn. That's like the last thing that I want. I don't love her anymore. I haven't loved her for a long time. So can we just, like, start over? And you know have the weekend together that we were supposed to before she ever texted me? Cause that's what I want, okay? I want us to hang out at the fair, stuff our faces with fried everything, race the bumper cars, take a spin on the Ferris wheel and do the cheesy couple thing where we kiss at the top..."
"Stop!" I yelled the forcefulness in my voice shocking both of us.
I swallowed thickly and blinked through the tears that were clouding my vision. "I-I-I..." I blew out a rushed breath of air, feeling like I did before Glee club when I was just the weird Asian Goth chick with the stutter. "I d-d-don't...I c-cc-can't." I managed to sputter out, my voice barely above a whisper.
He blinked rapidly as panic flickered across his handsome face. "You c-can't what?"
I bit down on my lip and my eyes fell to my feet. I didn't know how it was possible, but my stomach actually felt heavier. For a split second, I thought I might actually throw up. Looking back up at Finn, I could feel my heart twisting.
My head began to spin as I asked myself; What the hell am I doing? Am I really going to break up with him? Why? He just said he doesn't love Quinn anymore.
So many feelings were rushing through me that I could barely keep them all straight. As I continued staring into his bottomless brown eyes, I expected everything else to fall away like it always did whenever I looked into his eyes, but that didn't happen. Everything was still there; swirling and rushing and making me dizzy.
"Tina," His voice was hoarse and begging. "Can you, like, say something? Please? You standing there and not talking is really freaking me out."
"I..." I barely got the word out before I closed my mouth, still desperately trying to sort through all the feelings.
"You said you don't love Quinn anymore," My voice was so small, I had to strain to hear it myself. "But does she still love you?"
"What?" He sputtered as he gave me his confused puppy look. "No!" He practically shouted, shaking his head forcefully. "She's, like, really in love with Artie. She only texted me cause they got into a fight and she needed me to tell her why I fell in love with her. Look, I know it sounds crazy and doesn't make a lot of sense, but Quinn – she's, like, really insecure, okay?"
I interrupted him with a scoff of disbelief. Quinn Fabray? Insecure? In what universe could little miss perfect, real life Barbie be insecure?
"I told you that it sounded crazy and didn't make a lot of sense, but you just, like, have to trust me, Tina. She really is insecure and this fight with Artie – it was their first one and stuff – it really shook her up, okay? I was just trying to be a good friend and be there for her. Are you telling me you wouldn't have done the same thing for Artie if he had texted you?"
My heart was twisting all over again as I tried to figure out how to answer him.
Artie and I never really regained the closeness we once had after I had faked my stutter. Even after the whole "Power of Madonna" confession at the piano when we were the only ones in the choir room and decided we should start dating, we weren't as close. Then the summer before junior year happened and all he wanted to do was play Halo and watch Coming Home so we broke up and then I fell in love with Mike at Asian Camp.
Despite all of that, I had a feeling – one I couldn't shake – that if he had called me or texted me after his fight with Quinn, that I would be there for him; just like Finn was there for her.
But there was another feeling I couldn't shake and it was the feeling that if Quinn couldn't get Artie to forgive her, she would set her sights on Finn all over again. The days of her stomping through McKinley's halls like the HBIC she was weren't so long ago and I wouldn't put it past her to try something. Because girls like her – the unbelievably beautiful schemers who were used to getting everything – they didn't change.
"You're doing that thing where you're just standing there and not saying anything. You know the one that really freaks me out? Why are you doing it again?"
"Because no matter what I say we're going to end up fighting." I huffed as I crossed my arms over my chest and pouted.
"Fighting?" He gave me that impossible to resist goofy smile of his, but instead of my whole face lighting up like usual, it barely twitched.
"Yes, fighting." I emphasized the word as I rolled my eyes. "You don't want to hear what I have to say about Quinn."
"Quinn?" He blinked in that way that was supposed to be cute and adorable, but I didn't have the patience for it. "We're not talking about Quinn anymore. If we're talking about anyone, it's Artie, and you still haven't answered my question about him. You'd totally be there for him like I was there for Quinn, so just say yes and we can forget about this!"
"Fine! If our situations were reversed, I would have been there for Artie like you were there for Quinn. But it doesn't change the fact that if she can't get Artie back, she'll go after you!"
"I already told you, I don't want her! I don't want anyone but you, okay? Do you know how I felt when you ran away from me and seemed all mad and stuff?" His voice was soft and a sadness crept over his boyish features.
"I felt like I was gonna throw up or just curl up into a ball and lay there." The tender but still clumsily endearing way his large fingers stroked at my cheek, had fresh tears threatening to fall from my eyes. "I know that sounds, like, really dramastic..."
"Dramatic." I automatically corrected as I hiccuped while struggling to let the tears fall.
"Yeah, what you said." He nodded in this dismissive way before continuing his previous train of thought. "It sounds dramatic or whatever, but it's true. I totally get why Artie wanted to try anything he could to get you back before he fell for Brittany and stuff. You're super awesome, you're funny, you're like way smart, you can do that twisty thing with your tongue when we make out, you'll play video games with me, and you're really pretty, and I love you. More than I ever loved Quinn or Rachel. I even told her that."
"Y-y-you t-tt-told Q-qq-Quinn y-yy-you l-ll-loved mm-me mm-more th-th-th-than, y-yy-you l-ll-loved hh-her and R-rr-Rachel?" I was so stunned, I couldn't stop myself from stuttering, and that's when the tears started to fall.
"You're crying." His voice cracked a little and his tone was panicked. "How come you're crying? Isn't it good that I love you more than I ever loved Quinn or Rachel? Or is this that thing that girls do? You know, like, they cry when they're happy and stuff? Like when my Mom married Burt?"
"I never thought you'd say that." I whispered my voice choked with tears. "We haven't been together that long; even though we've been saying I love you for a while."
I sighed heavily; feeling exhausted from all the emotions I had battling inside me. Sifting my fingers through my hair, I looked up at him through hooded eyes and with my lips trembling, I said, "I don't want to fight with you anymore."
I thought I had been exhausted when I fought with Mike about Mr. Schue's duets project during junior year and I thought I had hated it too, but that was nothing compared to this. I wasn't naïve enough to believe that Finn and I would never fight – every couple fought; that was just the way things were – I just never expected it to make me feel like I was going to throw up or just curl up into a ball and lay there like he said.
"I don't want to fight with you anymore either, Tina." He pulled me against his impossibly tall and sturdy frame and immediately I melted into him.
"You know just because we fought and stuff," His lips were hovering over my ear and I squirmed just a little; the warmth of his breath was tickling my cool tear-stained skin. "Doesn't mean that I, like, don't love you. Cause when I would fight with Quinn or Rachel they always acted like I didn't love them enough or I was hurting them on purpose, and I don't want us to be like that."
It was strange for Finn to sound so level-headed and logical. I was used to – like everyone in Glee club – him being goofy, earnest and adorably confused, but level-headed and logical weren't things that came into one's mind about Finn Hudson.
The feeling was brief and I pulled back from him slightly and tilted my head so I could stare into his bottomless brown eyes. "I don't want us to be like that either. It's just that when it comes to Quinn, it's hard not to feel like the weird Asian Goth chick I was before Glee, you know?"
"Do you want me to tell you how super awesome you are again?" Just like that level-headed and logical Finn was replaced by the more familiar eager puppy dog version; his brown eyes lit with warmth and happiness and goofy, lopsided grin firmly in place.
"No." I shook my head. "I want you to tell me you love me again."
"I love you, Tina Cohen-Chang."
"I love you, too, Finn Hudson."
We shared a soft and brief kiss that still managed to leave me breathless somehow. With our foreheads resting against each other's, I went in for another kiss; this one longer and more intense.
Pulling back from the second kiss, I told him, "I'm going to stay with my parents tonight. I think we both could use a night alone after all of this. It's been really intense; way more than either of us expected and being in our own beds will help us actually sleep."
My tone was teasing and I playfully nudged him with my hips as I finished the last part of my sentence.
"What makes you think we won't sleep if you stay the night?" His tone was full of fake outrage.
"I know you." I stated plainly with a roll of my eyes. "You think because we fought, you're entitled to make up sex, but that's not happening; at least not tonight. And really, Finn, you should know better. How many times did you and Quinn fight back in high school? And what about Rachel?"
"But yy-you're not Quinn or Rachel!" He whined. "You're Tina!"
"You should have stopped listening to Puck back in elementary school."
"Next time we fight..." He started to say, but I quickly cut him off with a raised eyebrow as my lips quirked and I put my hands on my hips, "Next time?"
"Come on, Tina, make up sex is supposed to be awesome!"
"Oh my Gaga!" The sound of Kurt's familiar high-pitched wail caused us to snap our heads in the direction of the stairwell where he was standing in his pajamas. "I am going to get my customary mug of warm milk and then I'm going back to my bedroom, and until then you two are not to breathe. I've already heard enough, thank you. The last thing I need is accompanying images haunting me in my sleep, which will happen if you continue your lewd conversation about...Well, you know, it."
"So..." Finn rubbed the back of his neck nervously as Kurt practically sprinted back down to his basement bedroom, making me giggle.
"We've got plenty of time to have make up sex, Cowboy." I let out an exasperated sigh before an idea popped into my head.
Holding out the pinky finger on my right hand, I said softly, "I pinky swear the next time we fight, we'll have make up sex."
Not surprisingly, he was eager to wrap his pinky finger around mine. Hugging me tightly he murmured against the thickness of my hair. "Best girlfriend ever."
