"We have to talk, man." Even though Kendall was laying facing the wall he knew it was James voice speaking to him. He didn't turn around. He didn't want to talk or see anyone.
James sighed when he got no response. Kendall felt the bed dip and knew James had sat down next to the spot where he lay. He felt James hand on his shoulder and shrugged it off, curling up. He wanted to just not exist anymore. It would be better than this constant pain he felt, wondering if Logan was alive or dead. If he was alive was he alright, or was he lying in a pool of blood somewhere unconscious? Kendall didn't know which to hope for. If Logan was dead at least nobody could be hurting him anymore. He swallowed hard, chest tightening.
"I know this is hard for you." James spoke up. "It's hard on all of us, but I know it's harder for you."
Did Carlos tell James? Kendall wondered. He decided he didn't care if James did know. It didn't matter anymore. Nothing did. He said nothing in response, just continued to stare at the wall.
To James credit he didn't give up. "Logan wouldn't want you to do this. You think he'd want you to stop living?" James asked him quietly.
"I need time, James." Kendall said finally, rolling to face his friend. James bit his lower lip when he looked at Kendall. The circles under his eyes were deeper and darker than the ones under James eyes. He hadn't bothered to shave so two weeks worth of stubble dotted his face. He looked exhausted and James reached out to hug him tightly despite Kendall's protests.
"Take all the time you need. Carlos and I will be here for you." He told him before pulling back, standing up and walking out of the room.
Kendall watched him go and then turned to face the wall once more. His eyelids were heavy. It had been a long time since he'd last slept. He hated sleeping because the nightmares were worse than being awake. He always saw Logan in his dreams and it was too much to wake up and realize that it wasn't real. Still, he could fight sleep no longer. Slowly his eyes drifted closed, his body going limp and giving way to sleep.
"Kindle."
"I thought I told you not to call me that anymore," Kendall mumbled sleepily, rubbing his still-closed eyes.
"I'll call you Kindle whenever I want to."
The bed dipped and Kendall felt a hand on his back. He didn't want to open his eyes. When he opened them Logan wouldn't be there. He didn't want to go back to that, but someone was shaking him. "Kindle."
With a whine of displeasure Kendall rolled over, opening his eyes reluctantly. What he saw made his breath catch in his throat.
"Oh my God, Logan!" His voice broke and he sat up, taking the smaller man into his arms and hugging him tightly. When he pulled away there were tears in his eyes and he saw that there were tears in Logan's eyes too. He studied his friend, noticing the fresh scar on his forehead, but a quick overview told him that Logan was unharmed. "How...I don't..."
"They found me in the middle of the night. They followed Tiffani back to where she was holding me and caught her. I saw my mother, got checked out at the hospital and came home to you as quick as I could." He swallowed hard, realizing what he had said.
'I came home to you.' The words were not lost on Kendall. He wiped roughly at the tears on his cheek, his heart thudding in his chest. "I was scared." He admitted. "I thought you were dead. Are you hurt at all?"
Logan shook his head quickly. "This healed up a while ago," he said pointing to his forehead. "My wrists are a little sore from being handcuffed, but I promise you I'm okay. You, on the other hand..." he said doubtfully.
"I'm fine. At least I will be now." Kendall assured him. "God, I can t believe you're really here and you're safe."
Logan glanced down at the bed, then back up at Kendall. "I'm sorry for not listening to you. Your heart was in the right place, and I should learn to trust your judgement. I know now you were just looking out for me. So thank you."
"It doesn't matter Logan. All that matters is I have you back." Kendall shook his head, still staring at Logan as if he were seeing a ghost.
Logan looked back at him and hesitated for a moment before leaning in and bridging the gap between them, pressing his lips to Kendall's. Kendall's fingers found Logan's shirt and held tight, afraid that if he let go Logan would disappear again. "With you is where I belonged all along," Logan whispered into Kendall s ear. Kendall let out a shaky breath. It was all going to be alright now.
Author's note: That's it everyone! I hope you all enjoyed my first BTR fanfic. Thanks to all who reviewed this story. Hopefully there will be more fics coming soon.
