Author's Note: I apologize for the two week wait. Jasper just kept going on and on and on...And it was work making sure it didn't take away from the story.
You'll find that he'a bit different than as Seth sees him. He doesn't find himself as charming or 'rockstar'-like. But that's the greatness of POVs, we're seeing it through the character's eyes. Hope that doesn't kill it for you guys! Also, the first half of this chapter revisits the day they met, prom night and even graduation. But this time, we'll see who this Maria is.

Disclaimer: A dash of angst and a solitary wanking. Nothing too naughty.

Important AN at the bottom of this chapter!

\/

Jasper POV

I thought it was a bit ridiculous that a little squirt like Seth had been watching me that whole time. What was so interesting about me reading a book in the middle of the aisle? Maybe I looked suspicious, or I was standing there a little too long, or he was one of the very few people in this state that never seen a man in cowboy boots and wranglers. Either way, it didn't matter why he was standing there. Something about the way he watched me with observant eyes was amusing. I found his lack of conversion endearing and I knew I had to say something, which resulted in a nearly one-sided conversation for a second, until he finally got a hold on his tongue.

And when he spoke, I couldn't contain the smile on my face. He was a brat indeed. I knew he had to still be in high school with a pout like that. And of course, that offended him. Time flew without my notice as Seth –as he was so appropriately named –shared some of his hobbies with unabashed shame. It was pretty refreshing to see his eyes lights up and his cheeks crinkle when he found something funny. And he had the most alluring golden skin, kissed by the sun. It was the magnet to my wandering eyes. I couldn't help but seek out the exposed skin from his collar up, to the flesh just below his shoulders, trailing all the way down to his fingertips. It was a shame our conversation ended so soon. His shift was over and it was time for him to go home.

He hesitantly spoke up to say his goodbye, "The bus usually gets here just after my shift ends, so…" Here was my opportunity.

"Do you need a ride home?" And like that, we had bought ourselves more time in each other's company.

It was a mystery to me. I had been living in Arizona going on 3 years now and there was no one I took to as well or as fast as Seth. Dropping him off at home, only to never see him again made me uneasy. No one had kept my attention, let alone my interest for more than 10 minutes and here this kid showed up, glowing skin and wide, excited eyes. I knew it was right to ask for his number, when his smile widened and he eagerly belted the numbers to me. I chuckled, imagining how better life would be with someone as sunshine bright as this kid around.

\/

My comfort had grown from the crevices of the campus where no one ventured to the warmth of the Clearwater house. Seth's mom, viscously protective as she was, took a liking to me perhaps for the sake of Seth. I hadn't known that there were few before me who threatened to step through the home threshold. Seth introduced me not days after our first conversations and with little knowledge of who exactly I was, luck had it that Mrs. Clearwater was going to be easy on me.

The next 8 months or so revolved around our routine. After classes, I would drive over to Seth's job and waited while he worked. It was a convenient place to study, so much of my work was done by the time Seth clocked out and we had the night to ourselves. It was never Seth that requested that I waited while he worked, or that I drive him home after. It was all my doing. I had become addicted to seeing him every day, speaking with him any chance I could get and I could see that he didn't mind. Capturing moments of that bright grin contrasting with his beautiful skin was what I found myself seeking out each day. I felt like a man spending his entire life without water before stumbling upon an oasis. It never occurred to me that this meant anything other than how much I needed him around. He was my opposite, my match. Where I felt over-ripe and mature, he was young and often bratty, I sought out adventure, and he chose a night in. And even so, we were able to compromise for the other. Seth had taken to going hiking and camping with me a few times and I clearly had no problems spending hours reading and studying in the bookstore whilst waiting for him. It didn't matter to me, I was just so happy to have found someone I could be comfortable with. So when Seth expressed what little interest he had with going to prom, I felt it my duty to make sure he did. I had told him school dances and prom wasn't my thing, but in truth, I never felt comfortable going. I didn't like the people at my school and it felt like too much of a waste of money and energy to make an effort only to hate the experience. I didn't want the same for him, so once again, I found myself going out of my way. But at this point it was more a pleasure than a discomfort. I just wanted him to have the memorable night I never got.

So with his mother's suggestion, I volunteered to be his date.

Hearing the words come out of my mouth was exhilarating. My pulse quickened and my body felt warm. I wasn't sure why, but there was a rush of something I couldn't describe what was running through me. But it was instantly running cold when Seth proposed that I didn't have to go. I suddenly felt like I needed to be with him. And when he finally caved in, the rush was back.

I thought about prom as the season changed and school became more intensive. I had few windows to talk about it with Seth. I was almost fearful that he would forget or worse, change his mind. So instead, I fretted over it on my own, stopping by those formal shops, looking for something, anything that would stick out. The thought of prom had been riddling my mind that I accidently let it slip when my lab partner asked what was keeping me quiet during group study. Maria was perhaps the only girl I could marginally tolerate after high school. Most that came before her didn't know how to interact with me, either because they were scared of me or infatuated. While Maria was obviously interested in me, she was still capable of holding a human conversation as well. She was also capable of reading me pretty well, though nowhere as easily as Seth was. With a poke of her elbow, she startled me from my thoughts.

"What's on your mind, Jas?" Her big, brown eyes implored as she leaned over in interest.

"Seth." It slipped out before I could consciously leash myself.

I watched as her round, red lips formed into an 'O', "Your friend? Is he okay?" Maria knew enough about Seth, seeing how she was always eager to hang out and I nearly always had plans with him. Of course, my time spent with Seth got a few invasive questions from Maria over the semester, though nothing I minded too much.

"Yeah, fine." I answered, hoping that she'd be satisfied with the answer. It was a futile wish.

"So?" She elbowed me again.

With an exasperated sigh, I threw down my pen all hope lost in our work and answered, "I offered to accompany him to prom." I didn't think Maria's lips could get more round or her eyes more wide. I stared at her suddenly feeling bashful.

"What's the problem then?" She finally asked.

"I…" I licked my lips, "I don't know what to do. I don't know if he even wants to go and I'm looking for a tux-" She held up her hand signaling for me to be quiet.

"Alright, calm down." She said with a smirk, "Now let's tackle one problem at a time. Did he get the tickets?" I nodded, "And you're without a tux." She stated and I nodded again, "Okay, then what you need to do is start there. If he's got the tickets and you arranged to go, then you're going. And if he protests, well then you'll do that thing you do and he'll give in." She shrugged.

That afternoon I found myself in front of a very crowded mall –one of Arizona's plentiful –with Maria at my side, enthusiastic and talking a mile a minute. She dragged me into a formal store and found the hostess, started speaking in her native tongue, not translating what she said before ushering me to a row of elegant leather lounges.

"My oldest sister came here for her wedding gowns. It's cheap and the owner knows my brother -in-law's mother. We can totally get a discount. She remembers me."

"They rent tuxes?" She nodded with a wide grin, "Now sit here and Rosa will be back in a minute."

Rosa did come back, with a load of tuxes, all I had to try on. It was tiring, but I was thankful to have someone as persistent as Maria to get some help on this.

"I'm happy you're finally spending time with me outside of school, even if it's while I'm doing you a favor."

I cringed at her blatant honesty. Maria was never mean or selfish even if she was a bit to handle. I knew that if Seth was never in my life, I would have spent more time with her, possibly been closer, but as it was, Seth was all the friend I needed.

"Maria, it's just-"

"Oh, Jasper." She chuckled, resting her elbow on my shoulder. We stared at my reflection in the three body length mirrors. I had to admit, the tuxedo I was wearing looked pretty fantastic and telling by Maria's smug look, she agreed, "Even if you're the hottest unavailable blonde on campus, I forgive you."

"Unavailable?" I asked with raised eyebrows, "And hottest- what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about getting you ready for the prom." She answered, before calling Rosa, fluidly conversing with her in Spanish.

"What does that even mean?" She was being more incoherent than usual.

She rolled her eyes, "its okay, Jasper." She said with a shake of her head, "I know he's your boyfriend."

"My what?"

\/

She was wrong. Really wrong. Seth wasn't my boy-

I cleared my throat, adjusting myself in my car seat. Casting a glance at my rearview mirror, I caught the tux hanging in the backseat. I felt a smile grow on my face at the thought of wearing it on our special night.

Wait, special?

I really had to think this over. Seth was my friend, my best friend, if I was being honest with myself. When did I ever find him attractive or referred to prom as our special night? He's beautiful, that I was always aware of and I was more than cognizant that spending time with him was something I preferred doing more than anything else, but that didn't mean anything, right?

\/

I stared at the corsage with gritted teeth. I knew Seth was going to give me tongue about this, but I got it because it was Maria's last advice not because my heart jumped into my chest at the thought of him wearing it the entire night. I got out of the car, heart in my throat, palms sweating. I was happy the single, clipped rose was protected by a bubble of plastic. Thanks to Maria, I was able to drive to Seth's without pulling over and having a freak-out, though she did hold me back for a while when she noticed the disaster that was my truck.

"Do you ever see what you leave in here?" She had scolded, throwing old Gatorade bottles and burger wrappers in a bag. I laughed nervously, getting a scowl from her. She really had been a lot of help with preparing for the prom. She was the one that thrusted my phone in my hand and demanded I call Seth and arrange a 'look'.

"It'll make you more of a couple, don't you think?"

"If I made him match with me?"

"Yes." She nodded, before gently tapping my nose with her pointer finger, "Trust me, Jasper. Maria sabe todo."

So I called him.

He answered, sounding a bit surprised by my call.

"Hey, kiddo!" I greeted, only to hear his small growl. It felt good to speak to him after a few days of being busy, "Missed me?"

"Maybe." His voice was shy as usual. It was something I found endearing.

"You won't admit it now, but when you see me in my new tux, you'll be unable to deny it." I teased. I got a raised eyebrow from Maria and I found I had to hide the slight blush on my cheeks. I had always spoken to Seth like this, but only now did I realize that it may be mistaken for flirting. I cleared my throat, "I know you're lazy and haven't got your tux yet, so I expect yours to match mine when you do. No clashing colors, Seth. Or else."

"What, need me to wear a canary yellow to your royal, pimp purple?" he teased, "Let me guess, you bought a cane too?" God, I really did miss this. A grin easily glided over my face and instinctually my eyes darted to Maria's. She was wearing one of those smiles. The same one I had seen on Seth's mother the day his sister surprised us with her engagement announcement during Christmas break.

"Ha. Ha. Smartass." I retorted, "Actually my look is a bit classier. A simple black and red." It was a good look if I said so myself.

"Putting some effort into this, aren't ya?" He laughed joyously. I felt a flutter in my gut and relief in my chest. He didn't sound hesitant or unenthusiastic about going.

"Of course I am." I answered with conviction. Seth's laughter instantly was silenced. I knew I had to elaborate to avoid confusion, "Kiddo, this is your prom. It should be special, right?"

"Right." His voice was softer, but not the shy whisper of Seth, but of…well, I wasn't exactly sure, but it was something tender and warm. I found myself basking in the way that made me feel. How would it be if he spoken to me on the phone in that voice all the time? There was just something so intimate about it. I had momentarily forgotten Maria was there or that I was on the phone, until I felt an elbow in my side. I cleared my throat, hoping Seth couldn't sense the change in my mood.

"Plus, we need to look snazzy. Make all the suckers there jealous." I threw in with a chuckle, hoping that covered my ass. I felt clever for having Seth fooled. He usually could read me so well "So stay in the color zone, damnit." I was sure he rolled his eyes. We said our goodbyes and I hung up, suddenly excited for the date. Maria had been sitting silently to my right, but there was a glimmer in her eyes.

"What?" I glared.

She shrugged, but I knew she was thinking it even after my repeated expressive and often explicit objection to her theory. Seth was not my boyfriend and I was in no way in love with him.

I had to repeat that to myself when I had stepped into his house, greeted by his mom with an enthusiastic welcome. He stood there, looking anxious and preoccupied checking out my suit, but fuck, he was just – could I say gorgeous? Could I call my best friend gorgeous? I smiled feeling the flutter of butterflies in my stomach. Well, at least he listened to my requests to match. Then I realized he had caught me staring. He studied me with curious eyes and waited for me to speak. Shit! I needed to not act different. Nothing changed. He was still by best friend.

"Someone is all grown up." My voice came out a bit huskier than I intended. It was something I couldn't help. He rolled his eyes, and like a damn brat, crossed his arms and glared at me, "Okay, maybe not." I amended, "Oh, before I forget." I remembered the small flower I had fretted over only moments before getting out of the car. I revealed the plastic box for him to see and as I expected, he gave me the look of death.

"What is that?" He growled, though I'm sure he knew what it was.

"A corsage." I kind of felt guilty, but Maria was adamant. She said I'd thank her later. His mouth opened in surprise, before it shut and his eyes narrowed.

"I'm not a girl!" I laughed nervously at his outburst. Obviously I knew that.

"I know that!" I couldn't keep back the smirk. How could I forget that he wasn't a girl? My eyes trailed over his body, taking in the cut of his suit, the sculpt of his body. It had only been over half a year and his physique had transformed. He didn't look like a squirt anymore. He looked like a man. Like my Seth. "It's for guys. We pin it on our tux. It won't go on your wrist, I promise." I held up the box for him to get a better look, "And see, it's not that big. I have the same one in the car."

"Well, alright." He grumbled and he looked it over. And like that, his eyes softened and a small smile painted his lips. I wasn't sure, but it appeared as if he was grateful "Thank you." And there it was –that soft tone he used only days before on the phone. It was different now, because I could see his eyes, the way they shone with some inner light source I couldn't grasp. I felt my breath catch in my throat, my insides literally quivered. I couldn't understand it, but I knew that Seth wasn't just a best friend anymore.

I think I was in love with him.

\/

I tried my best to be casual; talking as if it was a usual night out. I needed to slap myself with some reality. I decided to take us for our usual fast food run. We enjoyed our meal, conversation naturally flowing between us, with Seth none the wiser. I was thankful. After an artery clogging meal, we drove the rest of the way to the prom location. It was a huge building, colorful lights displaying the property as we climbed the stairs to the ticket table. The adults gave me a wary eye, but all it took was a little buttering to get them to forget that we could be a male couple. I didn't know how Seth's peers or teachers felt about it and I wouldn't have been happy stepping foot on campus to knock some teeth in so close to his graduation.

Once inside, we had a good look around, talking to teachers before making our way to the exhibit. It was odd how special and yet so ordinary this night was. In the end, it was just me and him, laughing and making fools of ourselves. I had missed this so much in recent weeks and I was nearly fearful that perhaps things would change after, especially if these feelings grew. I couldn't do this to Seth. I wasn't sure how comfortable he'd feel with my uncertain feelings. I sighed, momentarily forgetting myself when I noticed the familiar beat pulsing down the hall from the dance floor. I felt a grin totally break in. Seth totally owed me money.

"See? What did I say? Macarena!" I clapped in triumph, "You owe me ten bucks." I looked over my shoulder expecting to see the look of annoyance or maybe the usual bratty pout. Instead, my heart dropped at the sight of his face pale and the sharp pants leaving his chest. He looked agonized and pained. It brought me back to that conversation we had had about his father. I remembered holding him to me happy I could offer some comfort and savoring having him so close to me.

"Seth!" My hands gripped his shoulders hoping to keep him on his feet "Are you okay?" I searched for any other signs of distress. It looked like a panic attack for sure.

"I think…I'm having…" He panted. I knew.

"Everything will be fine." I chanted, knowing that I was convincing myself more than him. I told him to bend over and take deep breaths as I rubbed his back in support. As his breaths calmed, my panic heightened. I was suddenly scared for my life. I told him I wasn't going anywhere, but what if he did? It never really occurred to me before, but we were so close to his graduation, to him being my equal. What if he realized I wasn't that special to him at all?

"Okay, Seth, breathe for me, okay?" I instructed, following my own suggestion "Deep breaths." I pressed my hand against his back, feeling the warmth of his body through the material. Such a simple gesture felt intimate, "I'm right here, Seth." I promised, though I knew it may not be the case for him. My mind flew to the night his mom brought up me taking him to the prom. Seth had never spoken much of the friends he had before me. But hearing about this Jacob and how he had a liking for Seth made something in me boil.

"I know prom seems like the end." I said, rubbing his back in small circles, "This is around the time I knew things were going to change for me. I was scared shitless, but you're more prepared than I was. You're smart and focused, Seth. Not much will change for you once this part of your life is over." Seth was way more mature than I was when it came to school. I was never a slacker, but I enjoyed the fun of my underage teenaged years back in Texas. I had only grown more serious about school when I moved westward and even then I didn't have the dedication or intelligence that Seth had. And that's what scared me the most; that he'd shoot pass me without a glance back, that he'd move onto something better. I would no longer be the older friend that teased him, but some Texan guy he spied one day in the bookstore.

I had to get out of this mindset. It was no use to me and it did little to help Seth's mood, so I did the only thing I could do; I thought about the hours until his senior year was over and took advantage of what time I had.

"I say, let's dance!" I belted with a throw of my hands. "You're my date and I haven't even offered you my hand," I acted out, feeling the tinge of pain in my gut that this wasn't actually the truth, but I'd pretend for this moment, "How dare I forget my manners." I took his hand and suddenly the world was still. Seth's smile was back, though a distant fear still glimmered in the depths. I wanted to tell him everything would work out fine for him, but I knew he was too stubborn to hear more of my speech, so dancing would have to do.

\/

Time stood still as we danced. It wasn't romantic or intimate, but perfectly us. Seth was as cute as ever, dancing with no shame, so unlike the day I met him. He had changed, became more adventurous, more outspoken, but it seemed his core always remained the same. Even as we shared the dance floor, I could still see the bashful blush on his cheeks when he'd stumble into me or the bratty way he pouted when I would pull too far away, feigning interest to the many girls that chose to dance close to me. Whether he was genuinely jealous of them winning my attention or not, I wanted him to know that there was no chance in hell. The thought surprised me, but amongst the colliding bodies and hideous pop music, I really didn't care. This was our special night.

After a particularly fast number, I smacked my lips noting the lack of moisture on my tongue, "I'm parched!" I yelled over the music, getting a look from Seth.

"Parched?" He laughed.

"Yes, sir." I answered. He snickered and shook his head, "I'll go get us a drink. You alright here by your lonesome?"

He rolled his eyes, "I'll be fine, Jasper."

With a wink, I slinked away, heading for the buffet style tables located down the hall from the dance floor. Once at the beverage table, I noted the three massive labeled drink dispensers. I decided to go old school and pour us some fruit punch and like that I was on my way back to replenish Seth's body with some tasteful colored sugar water.

But my feet appeared to halt in midair.

There, amongst all the dancing bodies were Seth and some other kid talking, laughing and fuck me –they were flirting. Or at least, that's what it looked like. That smile, how relaxed his body was, those were all signs of him being in my company. I had known Seth long enough to distinguish how at ease he was around others compared to how he was around me.

And watching him, I felt reality hit me like a massive brick wall.

My time was up.

I needed somewhere to sit and…breath. I thought I was going to be sick.

I went to a vacated area where only a handful of tired dancers sat and chose a vacant table a few rows down. From here, I could see them. Another song had started and the both of them were dancing, enjoying themselves. Completely in their own world. I watched and I felt my world haze.

I didn't know what I was going to do.

I had lost track of time, until I heard him call my name, asking if I was alright. I felt angry, I felt bitter, and I felt hurt. But mostly, I felt regret.

It was the regret that I couldn't have told him just how important he was to me before tonight.

\/

The ride home was silent. Deathly silent. I fidgeted and drummed my fingers nervously against the steering wheel, pulling in deep breaths before letting them out. Seth watched me silently but didn't say anything, though I knew he could tell something was up. When we finally pulled up to his house, he unbuckled his seat, hesitating, as if to say something, only to shut his mouth and unlock the door.

"Goodnight Jasper." It was the best damn voice I've ever heard. So much so, I felt my eyes water.

"Night." He shut the door behind him and I watched as he walked all the way up to the front door. When I was sure he was safe inside, I took off.

By the time I got to the dorms, I felt exhausted and inconsolable. Should I have said something then? Would it have made a difference?

My mind raced to the sight of Seth and that Edward dancing so close together. Was it really that they were flirting or was I just jealous that he was getting out of his shell with someone else? The Seth I met at the beginning of the school year wouldn't have danced or acted such a way with anyone else but me.

\/

I woke up panting, sweating and hard.

I did not…. I did not have a dream about my best friend. One that involved –

I groaned, pressing my open palm against the ache along my thigh. I remembered his lips, the whisper of my name. I could even recall the dig of his hip bone against mine. It was so vivid. Never had I even thought of kissing Seth even if I could admit now that I loved him more than a best friend. But this…this wasn't what I expected.

I threw my blanket over my thigh, casting a glance across the room to see if my roommate was in yet. It was still fairly early and being that finals ended officially two days ago and it was a Saturday, he wouldn't stumble in until dawn. Licking my lips, I moved my fingers over my stomach, following the trail of the pulse between my legs. When I successfully had my fist around my cock, I cursed. Why was I so hard? Thoughts of tanned brown skin and lustful brown eyes glowed like a cascading TV light in a dark room. It was if he was right there with me.

Seth.

Without thinking, I pulled the band of my boxer briefs under my cock and sac, before gripping myself to relieve some pressure. I shut my eyes, letting remnants of the dream flicker like an ancient movie film behind my lids. I let my mind guide my hand without considering just what I was doing.

Getting off to thoughts of Seth.

\/

Seven days.

Seven torturous days.

The first starting with me waking up traumatized the next morning.

I didn't know how I was going to face Seth now. I paced my dorm room, aware I was supposed to be packing what little items I had to relocate to another dorm on campus for the summer. I would have the luxury of no roommate and an actual real kitchen and bedroom. It was supposed to be the perfect summer for the both of us; me having a dorm where he could stay at whenever he wanted, giving him the tour of the campus, staying up late eating pizza and playing a list of games we had no time to check out during school. It was going to be perfect. But I made no effort to pack my things right away. The excitement was gone. Seth was already moving on, even if I was going to see him for his graduation.

But talking to him before then I wasn't sure I could do. In fact, I avoided speaking to him altogether.

And it hurt every second.

Everyday he called and texted, and every time I looked at the phone and saw that name and the contact photo of him at the state fair - the stuffed toy I won for him tucked under his cheek, his smile wide and bright – I had to ignore it. That very innocent face had me half hard, that smile warmed me and if I was to hear his voice…

I didn't know what I'd do. So I avoided him.

But hell, I couldn't avoid Maria.

"Buenos días!" She called the next morning, rapping on the door as if she were the police. It wasn't even 8AM yet.

"Maria-" I had growled, hair rumbled and eyes barely cracking open when I opened the door.

She snickered, but pushed pass me, "So…what happened?" She turned, giving me a look over, "Obviously nothing nice. You look like caca."

"I feel like caca." I grumbled. At that, she folded her arms over her chest.

"Did you and Seth fight or something?" She got comfortable on my bed, pulling herself up it until her back was against the wall.

I let a hand scratch my sleep hair as I tried to find the right words without saying too much, "We…had fun."

"Okay…" She waited, knowing there was more.

"But, I think this is it for him." I started, but corrected myself, "I mean, he's going to be focused on school and he has so much going for him and-"

"Oh." Maria allowed the word to draw out as she nodded. She was getting something I was saying. I wasn't sure what it was though, "You saw him with someone else." How the hell did she do that?

"How did you-"

"Oh, Jasper," She tittered, before pressing a finger to her temple, "I told you, didn't I? Maria sabe todo."

I rolled my eyes. That didn't answer my question exactly.

"You are seriously sprung and it must scare the living hell out of you."

"He is my best friend." I didn't deny her observation. I was sprung. I could admit to that now. I did so much for Seth without a second thought and I was always happy to do so. I was even able to overcome the whole him being a guy obstacle easily, though there wasn't much I could conjure up sexually from lack of gay sex knowledge. But none of that mattered. What mattered was that he was happy and as much as it hurt to realize that the boy I called 'kiddo' was now a full-fledged adult and ready to live his life, I wouldn't have wanted anything more for him, even if it was a life without me and with someone else.

"And you are seriously in love with him." Maria added seriously. When I made to open my mouth and argue, she cut me off, "Don't say you're not, Jasper. Because then that would mean that we could date."

I opened my mouth and then shut it. She was playing dirty, "Okay, fine. You win." I grumbled, combing both hands through my hair.

"I know." She shrugged, hopping off the bed, "Now call him."

"Maria-"

"Whatever has you upset like that-" She started, but I still had some denial in me.

"You woke me up!"

"-should be worked out by speaking to him about it, don't you think?" She wasn't even going to listen to me.

"No, I don't. I told you-"

She waved a hand, "Yeah, yeah. He's moving on and blah, blah, blah." She yawned, "Seriously Jasper, I've never seen you this pathetic before."

"You barely even know me." It was sort of true. Maria and I had spent some time together since her helping with me getting a tux, but it wasn't enough time for her to truly know Seth and I as well as she may have thought.

"And whose fault is that?" I sighed. Great, now she was using guilt.

"I'm sorry-"

"And what exactly does me barely knowing you have anything to do with you feeling sorry for yourself?" she sucked her teeth and crossed her arms over her chest. She looked like a spoiled princess, sitting there with her eyebrows furrowed and a pout on her lips. It reminded me so much of Seth. Her complexion had hints of golden brown. Her hair was a shiny black, cascading over her shoulders. It never struck me how similar they were. A bit of sass and brattiness.

But she didn't have that relaxed, glowing smile and the bashful personality. She wasn't Seth.

She must have seen something on my face because she was instantly sitting up, eyes softening before she spoke again, "Alright. You don't have to call him today. But you'll need to do something, Jasper. Saying you're doing him a favor by not speaking to him at all ever isn't fair. Let him at least make a choice of whether he wants whatever this is you two have or not."

I stood there, unsure what to say. For someone who had so little information about me and Seth's relationship, she sure did seem to hit quite a few nails on the head.

Maria sabe todo.

\/

I had barely been surviving by the 7th day, but despite the pain in my gut, I couldn't call him. Or answer his calls. The fear in me had weaved in with the guilt.

I was thinking about him every night, and it was nothing innocent. Every single night since prom, I had been getting off to just what life could be like if I called Seth and told him, only to be faced with his same admission.

But such a thing was unrealistic, a fantasy world I found myself creating in the lonely hours of the night.

Maria had been gentler since the confrontation, though she refused to leave me alone. In fact, the only time I wasn't with Maria was when I was sleeping. On the fourth night after Prom, Maria had come waltzing back to my new summer dorm room after disappearing –miraculously –for about an hour. She had a set of DVDs in her hand and a smirk on her lips as she sat on the sofa.

I fingered through the DVDs feeling dread build in me with each title.

"Edge of Seventeen, Get Real," My hand halted over the last movie, "Brokeback Mountain?" I looked up with a glare.

She shrugged, "What?"

"These are gay movies, aren't they?" The DVD covers definitely suggested so and the last in the list only confirmed it.

Maria clucked her tongue, "No idea what you're talking about." She answered with no efforts at sounding convincing.

Without another word she put the first movie into my humbly sized 26' flatscreen DVD player hybrid and let the movie start. There really was no fighting her about this, so all I could muster up was a scowl and a few mumbles as I watched the first movie.

When it was over, Maria gave me a look, "So what did you think?" The movie was okay. Some scenes made me uncomfortable only because I hadn't seen men kissing or touching each other so openly in public. It was Arizona afterall. But other than that, I didn't have much of an opinion on the first movie.

But while watching the second, I just couldn't help thinking about what it'd be like if it were me kissing a guy, preferably Seth. Just Seth, actually. I couldn't picture kissing any of the male actors in the movies, even in Brokeback Mountain and according to Maria, both leads were hot.

When Maria asked me what I thought after the last movie, I really didn't know what to say. The movies had me thinking about…him and what we'd be like together and the costs of it even if that were possible. And that was if he actually had an attraction to me. But he wasn't, so did it really matter that I was sitting in my dorm room watching gay movies?

"Why are you showing me this?" I found myself asking. 5 hours of watching movies and finally I speak up.

"To show you some semblance of what it could be like." Maria answered honestly, "To show you that it's not impossible."

"But Seth-" I licked my lips nervously as I fumbled over the next words, "Seth doesn't see me that way."

"What makes you so sure?" Before I could answer, she shook her head, a thought appearing to settle in, "that person you saw him with. Was it a guy?"

Ugh, Edward, "Yeah." I growled.

A small smile crossed her lips.

"What?"

\/

His graduation day.

This was it.

But I couldn't move. I sat there fully dressed, prepared 2 hours before the damn service started. But I just. couldn't. move.

"Well, there you are." Maria had finally arrived, dressed in a flattering top, straight jeans and heels. With looks like that, I was really surprised she wasn't dating anyone. She sat down comfortably next to me heaving a sad sigh, "Okay, so are you going?"

I really had no clue. Would he even be happy to see me after I avoided his calls? It wasn't like I could explain exactly why I had been, "I don't know." I shrugged.

She appeared to be thinking for a moment, pressing her index finger to her lip as her eyebrows pulled together, "We have time until the graduation. So how about we make a detour?"

A detour where? And wait a minute… "What do you mean 'we still have time'?" She just blinked at me innocently.

"Come on." She patted my thigh before she was up again. I begrudgingly trailed after her. If there was anything Maria was good at, it was distracting me from my thoughts.

Taking my truck, she guided me through the suburban town of Tempe, turning off of the main road we drove into the small, adjacent town of Guadalupe. Now I was really interested, "You sure I won't get jumped here, Maria." I scanned the narrow streets. There seemed to be little people walking about.

"Don't worry, Jasper." Maria giggled, "My familymoved out of Guadalupe a generation ago. We are actually going to see my tió who lives…in Ahwatukee."

"Maria, Ahwatukee?" I all but growled, "How the hell are we going to make it back to Tempe in time?"

She gave me a look of mock surprise, "Oh, so you do plan on going?" As if she had won some secret victory, she nodded in satisfaction, a massive grin on her face, "Good."

"So why are we going to his house?"

She dug in her bag only to pull out the same DVDs she forced me to watch days before, "To return these."

Now why the hell would her uncle have those movies?

\/

"Oh! There's my love!" I heard the voice before I got a good look at whom it belonged to, "Ay dios mio, who is this?" And then, I saw him - a tall, absurdly attractive man dressed fashionably and nearly jumping in his doorway. His hair and eyes were as dark as Maria's, though his complexion was less like Maria's caramel complexion and more milky. He didn't look to be as old as I expected, at most 30. Gliding down the stone path from his front door, he greeted us in the driveway and gave Maria a tight hug.

"This is Jasper," She gestured towards me with a sly grin. Her uncle's mouth shaped into an 'O' as he gave me the look down, "And Jasper, this is my tió Eleazar." She introduced. I had a feeling Maria was being slick again.

"Oh, the pleasure, honey, is all mine." Eleazar tittered, giving me his hand. I shook it, still a bit confused about the whole reason why I was here.

But, if we were going to be cordial…

"I believe that is something I should be saying, Eleazar." I made sure to give him my most suitable smile, that which I usually saved for older women, "Eleazar, that's a nice name."

"Oh," He giggled, "It's a name passed down from my father's side in España."

Maria and Eleazar both exchanged glances and stared at me for a while longer than what was comfortable before her uncle spoke first, "Well you two are just in time. My love inside is cooking a most fabulous dinner. You're welcome to stay and dine with us." He winked my way before trotting towards the house. Maria ran ahead and I followed them inside, feeling my eyes widen at the décor. His houe looked like a model out of some interior design magazine. Abtract art on walls, expensive looking furniture and pristine upkeep.

Maria and her uncle talked animatedly ahead of me as I kept back, taking in the magnificence of the place. We were escorted to the kitchen where a man with shoulder length brown hair and bright hazel eyes was chopping away at bell peppers.

"Santi, mi amor." Eleazar sang out, getting the man's attention, "We have guests."

"Oh, I didn't hear them come in." The guy had an accent, unlike Maria and Eleazar who were as fluent as I in English, "Oh, Maria. We saw you last week, verdad?" He embraced her as just as Eleazar had before giving the crown of her head an affectionate peck.

"Honey, this is Jasper." Eleazar said conspiringly. The man's eyebrow's shot up before a smirk pulled on his lips. He wasn't too bad looking if I could be honest. He was taller than Eleazar and appeared to be in great shape. I could make out the defined muscles under his black v-neck and he did have decent arms…

I realized I was checking him out.

"I'm Santiago, Jasper." His handshake was stronger than Eleazor's, a tighter, secure grip. There was a lot about him different than the giggling man behind me. He didn't seem gay at all.

Maria spoke up after Santiago and I exchanged greetings, "Sorry, we can't stay for dinner, but we have to make it to Seth's graduation."

"Oh, Seth." Eleazar and Santiago said in unison as if they had been informed about him.

I glowered at Maria who gave me an apologetic look, before speaking again, "I also came to give you back the movies I borrowed at such short notice. Thanks, guys."

"No problem." Santiago replied, continuing where he left off in the kitchen, "How did you like it?" He was looking at me when he asked. I had no idea why. I turned to Maria for help, but she was just as curious about my answer.

"I really liked Get Real." I answered honestly.

"Oh, that's one of my favorites." Eleazar sighed, "English boys shagging."

"I think there was more to the movie than that, Ellie, honey." Santiago teased.

Eleazar's bottom lip jutted out, "Nothing as important as the shagging."

"Not even the plot?" Santiago didn't appear serious. There was a twinkle in his eyes as he waited for a reaction.

Eleazar merely smirked, "Tell me, dear, is plot more important when we're alone?"

"Why no, it is not." Santiago chuckled before sliding diced bell peppers off the chopping board and into a bowl.

"Don't mind them." Maria rolled her eyes, "They're like high school boys in love. Always flirting." I watched in awe as they continued to carry on, unaware that Maria and I were being entertained. I couldn't help observing the way they'd nudge each other teasingly or press themselves against the other more intimately than I was used to.

It was as if…as if I was staring at Seth and I. Wasn't this exactly how we were at dinner with his mom? Oh, God. I was flirting that entire time and I hadn't even noticed. But…was he flirting with me too?

I wasn't surprised to see another look of victory on Maria's face, "Well, tiós, we have to go." Maria said slowly, interrupting them.

"Oh, honey, so soon?" Eleazar pouted.

"Sorry," Maria hugged her uncle, pecking his cheek, "Thanks for the movies," She handed him the plastic cases she had dug out from her bag. Eleazar pouted, but didn't protest too much. He made sure to encourage us –me specifically –to visit again. Both men gave me a friendly hug, surprising me with their hospitality they walked us to the door, waving when I pulled out of the drive-way.

I was flabbergasted.

By the time we left the neighborhood, I nearly burst at the opportunity to finally ask her, "What the hell was that about, Maria?"

She shrugged her petite shoulders, giving me a sly smile before pinching my cheek, "Did you like them?"

"Can't say I didn't. They seemed alright. Your uncle was…." I trailed off, not sure how to put it.

Maria rolled her eyes, "A big ol' queen. Yeah, I don't think it's possible for him to tone it down if he wanted to. It used to drive my mother mad." Maria snorted.

I couldn't help being curious about Eleazar's….partner. He wasn't what I learned gay men were like growing up. I had no images of them, because I never wasted my energy on how I felt about them morally, but now that I had seen it –via media and in person –I was suddenly wondering, is that me? "So, Santiago would be your uncle too?"

Maria knew I was baiting for information and she gladly snagged the hook.

The entire drive to Marcos De Niza high school was of Maria telling me about meeting her tió Santiago when she was 13. She hadn't seen Eleazar since she was ten and became dreadfully bratty when her mother refused to take her to see him after returning from Spain. She hadn't known then that her uncle was gay rather that he was 'very fun', and so she had been clueless as to why her mother was adamant that her and her sisters not see him.

But Maria got her way.

And thus was how she grown close to her uncles. She explained that Eleazar had left Arizona to visit family in Spain, being that he had a difficult time after coming out to his family. There, he met Santiago and they became close friends.

We were just down the road from the school when I asked, "So they were friends first?"

Maria nodded, a tender smile on her face, "Eleazar was completely in love, but he wouldn't tell Santi because he was scared. He was so sure he was straight."

"Well, what happened, then?" I pressed, surprising myself with my sudden interest.

"Well, this was before my uncle became so comfortable in his skin, so he didn't make a move." Maria tossed her hair over her shoulder dramatically, "So Santiago did."

"And?"

"And, well, you know, sparks flew and Santiago ran away with my uncle back to America where they moved around a bit before settling here back home in Arizona of all places." She scoffed.

I quietly steered us into the packed parking lot of the school. My nerves were jumping and my mind was on overdrive. Maria's uncles had their happy ending, I suppose. They were pretty lucky, but it still didn't answer why she would take me there to see them personally and that they appeared to know some things about me.

I braked suddenly, before turning to her.

She was staring at with a knowing look, "Seth and I are not like your uncles." I chastised.

Maria rolled her eyes, "Well, no." She admitted, "But your situations are similar."

"No, it isn't!" I argued, "Seth isn't gay and I'm not either!" She raised an eyebrow in challenge, "I'm not!"

"Seriously?"

Maria wasn't convinced.

At all.

"A stud like you only had one girlfriend?"

I didn't even want to think of Charlotte. A girl I dated the beginning of Junior year. I left before we could get farther than a kiss and I was thankful for it. She was attractive enough, but did little for me, "So?"

"And you just gave up after that? Never dated around?"

"No!" I defended, "Should I just sign off and be gay because I never dated another girl?"

"No," Maria bit her lip, "But you should wonder why you're so for Seth. I mean, no girl has made you feel this way, right?"

"No." I answered honestly.

"Then, what's the problem. If you're gay, you're gay."

"It's not that black and white." I disagreed. A long honk drew us out of our conversation momentarily. I was able to find a spot towards the path leading to the football field where they were holding the ceremony. It was too fucking hot for this.

My truck sputtered as I switched gears and shut off the engine, pulling the emergency brake. I tried to hide that my hands were shaking, but Maria's eyes were ever observing. Her small hand held mine, stilling the trembles momentarily.

"Jasper, forget this gay thing. That's not what's important." She spoke gently, "This is your best friend. You can't hide from him forever. It's up to you whether or not you tell him, but don't let your feelings interfere with your friendship if he doesn't feel the same way, which I highly doubt he doesn't."

I inhaled deeply, "How did you know?"

It took a second for her to understand what I was asking, "When you talk about him, you get this look about you. It's the same look my dad gets when praising my mother. And…" She bit her lip shyly, "It's the same look Santiago gets when he's watching my tió make an ass of himself." A strand of black hair fell from behind her ear, hiding her eyes. She suddenly looked timid and innocent, "I grew up knowing that that was 'el amor en los ojos.'It was something my mom used to tell me when I was a kid."

"So you could tell by my eyes?" I asked, suddenly feeling like an open book. I wondered how many people seen me and Seth together and how many could know.

"I've had a lot of examples in my life." She shrugged, before hoping out my truck. I followed, mechanically unbuckling my seatbelt and pulling the keys out of the engine. By the time I was standing, facing the campus, my nerves were back. I wasn't sure I could do this. Taking deep breaths, I tried to get my cool. Calm settled when I felt the warm hand fall into mine. I was met with brown eyes –not those I longed to see –staring up at me in support.

"Come on, Seth is waiting for you."

\/

We watched by the track as they called his name and he walked up the platform, shaking hands with the principal before seating down.

I cheered until my voice was hoarse.

Then there was the cap toss and the families stormed onto the field. Maria hadn't let go of my hand and I was thankful. I needed to see him, but I wasn't sure I could do it alone, not after the week I had, the conclusions I came to since prom night.

I thinkI was in love with Seth.

We walked pass crowds of cheering families. Balloons, maroon and gold bombarded my sight. But all I was looking for was sun-kissed skin, black shiny hair, a brilliant smile and soft brown eyes. And there he was, amiss a crowd of family members.

I took it back.

I am in love with Seth.

I gripped Maria's hand and she clenched it back, letting me know she was there. And we stepped forward.

I drew from Maria's support and spoke loud enough for him to hear, "Congrats, kiddo." Seth turned so quickly, I thought he was going to get whiplash. There was a smile instantly on his face when his eyes fell on me.

"You came!" He exclaimed.

Nothing in the world could have stopped me, even myself. I knew in the end, I would have run over here last minute. I needed to see him, even if it would have killed me. "Of course I came."

Maria squealed next to me, with an overly girlish voice, "Oh, he is such a looker!" I felt my blood boil. What the hell was Maria doing? "Jasper, you didn't tell me how cute he was!" I was almost certain I had. On many occasions.

I felt my jaw lock. Through gritted teeth, I introduced them, "Seth, this is Maria." Seth's eyes fell on our clasped hands. He shot me a hurt look. I couldn't understand why.

Until it struck me. Fuck, he thinks Maria is my girlfriend!

"Hi." His voice cracked weakly. And he was upset. Shit!

Maria noticed, "So nice to finally meet you, Seth." She elbowed me, nonverbally communicating that she was right about him, "It's taken him forever to introduce us. He talks about you a lot." I didn't know whether to cry or laugh at the absurdity of the situation. I had never talked to Seth about Maria, ever. She was never much of a friend until after prom, so I'm sure this looked sketchy as all hell. He had to be upset that I didn't tell him about her, assuming he thought we were dating.

I wanted to apologize, explain. I had to. I couldn't stomach seeing that look in his eyes. I opened my mouth to speak, but someone beat me to it.

"Oh, so he shows." Leah, Seth's sister appeared from the crowd, a look of death on her face, "Nice to see you again, Jasper. I was beginning to believe you'd miss Seth's special day." Her eyes stared me down coldly. Well, fuck, he must have told her I hadn't answered his calls all week.

"I wouldn't ever." I said with every fiber in me. If I couldn't apologize to Seth now, I could at least prove he was important to me.

"Sorry about being late." Maria interrupted, drawing attention to herself. She leaned her weight on me, "But it was my fault Jasper was running late." And she giggled like a fucking school girl. I had no idea what she was up to.

"That's nice, honey," Leah said curtly, "Join us for dinner, Jasper?" I blinked at Leah, confused. She was inviting me to dinner after staring me down like that? Surely, she had to have wanted me dead after popping up after seven days of ignoring her brother. Or maybe she was being polite. I was going to decline, hoping I could find some alone time to visit Seth afterwards, when Maria answered.

"We would love to come."

"Sorry, honey. The place is reserved for 9 only." Leah's tone was clipped. Disregarding Maria, she spoke, "We kept a seat open in case Jasper decided to come." I could read Leah's warning loud and clear. I was only invited because that was what Seth wanted. If it were up to her, I'm sure there would have been bodily harm. I didn't blame her. Whether Seth needed me now or not, I shouldn't have run away like that, not answering his calls even if I was guilty for my thoughts. He was still my best friend.

"Don't worry about it, Jasper," Seth, surprised me by speaking up "It's just dinner." I felt my heart drop. Did this mean he didn't want me to come? Was it really over so soon?

I saw Mrs. Clearwater emerge from the crowd, eyes wide in excitement "Jasper!" she exclaimed, "Where have you been?"

"Was running late." I mumbled, "Sorry, Mrs. Clearwater."

She merely chuckled and waved her hands as if it were nothing, "As long as you're here now, sweetheart." She blinked at Maria, confusion marring her features, "And who is this?"

Maria, finally dropping her act, stuck out her hand, "Maria. I was just making sure Jasper got here on time." She said. There was no trace of the girlish voice anywhere.

I felt my jaw drop. What was Maria pulling?

"Well, you know how boys are." Mrs. Clearwater joked, patting Seth's back.

Seth wasn't paying attention. His eyes were averted to the ground.

He mumbled something about the bathroom before slipping into the crowd of maroon and gold. The women chattered on as I watched him slip away. I couldn't let him leave. I had to say something, anything. I made to move, but a hand was already gripping my elbow.

"Come on."

"What?" I stammered, looking to see why I was being held back.

"I got Seth's mom to invite me to the graduation dinner. Trust me, you'll need me there." And she was already walking away to the parking lot. I stood stone still for a moment, unsure where to go. It was then, I met Leah's eyes. Her gaze was scrutinizing, but there was something else about the way she looked at me, as if she was figuring me out.

Sighing, I knew I had no choice but to follow Maria to the truck. I still had a chance to speak to him.

\/

"Now, you definitely can't deny that he was jealous." Maria said with a smug look about her. We were just on our way, pulling out of the packed parking lot, heading to some Steak restaurant in Scottsdale where we'd see Seth and his family again. Though, this time, I knew I had to say something to him, especially now that he thought Maria and I were dating.

"He's upset because he thinks I'm dating you and I didn't tell him."

"Exactly." She said with triumph, "And it only fueled his feeling of betrayal. Did you get a good look at him? He was like a kicked puppy." She said proudly.

I felt my gut clench just as my jaw tightened, "Maria-" I growled.

"I wouldn't have put either of you through that unless I knew it was going to help you in the future. I needed you to see that he does feel the same way."

"He's only upset because-"

"Trust me. No best friend looks like that when their friend hides that they had a girlfriend. Sure, they'd be mad, but not heartbroken."

"Seth, he's sensitive." I tried to argue, but she wasn't sold.

"He is pretty hot." She spoke quietly, "I can see why you're so enamored by him."

"No you don't." I answered, quietly, "Not until you get to talk to him. He's so fucking special. I don't know why he lets me stick around."

Maria merely smiled, looking out at all the passing cars filled with happy families and graduates, "Oh, I'm sure he feels the same way."

\/

The dinner didn't go as I planned.

The place was packed with families, celebrating graduations and end of the school year activities. Mrs. Clearwater and the rest of Seth's family talked in excited voices, laughing and gradually moving from topic to topic along the table. Maria and I sat between to Seth's uncle and grandmother. Maria was lucky to be engaged in conversation while I got the cold glares of the old women, and a few looks from his sister as well who sat just across from me. Seth was tucked away next to his mother.

So far…

The table had only quieted when the food came. Dishes loaded with steak, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, asparagus, and so much more to distract the conversation. I didn't find it in me to eat, so instead I sipped my water and watched Seth answer questions, give tentative smiles at boisterous jokes from his uncle.

He made sure to avoid eye contact with me.

There was much movement around us. It appeared that half the valley thought it was a good idea to have steak after a graduation. In fact, I was seeing quite a bit of maroon and gold.

And a familiar head of copper hair.

My eyes naturally narrowed into slits.

"Seth?" Hearing his voice for the first time, I felt my gut drop. He even sounded attractive. A smile was already crossing Seth's face as he turned to face the voice's owner.

"Edward?" He laughed in surprise. Edward stood behind Seth's chair, gown open, revealing a crisp fitted, white shirt and slacks. His cheeks were tinted pink in excitement –or nervousness –as his eyes gazed around at the table. There were a few curious looks at the young boy, no one was as taken by their interaction as me.

"Hey, you're here too?" Seth's voice was a squeak.

"Yeah," Edward smiled nervously, "I'm here with my parents and sister. They're going to our table." I watched with fire in my eyes as Edward's long fingers played with edge of Seth's chair. It was only a few centimeters away from his neck. I didn't notice how tight I was gripping my cup, until I heard a loud crack. I felt Maria elbow me, but I couldn't pull my eyes away.

"I guess everyone from our school is here." Seth shrugged.

"Yeah," Edward licked his lips, before his eyes darted to Seth's mother, "Hello, Mrs. Clearwater."

"Hello, honey." She answered brightly, "Congratulations. Are you here with your family as well?" She hadn't realized that Seth pretty much asked the same question.

"Yes, I am." He nodded politely "My parents love this place."

"Seth misses having you around." She said nonchalantly, "I heard that you're going to ASU too. Maybe I'll be seeing more of you in the future?" Seth blanched at the suggestion. But I was seeing red…

Edward was going to ASU too…

This wasn't looking good for me. At all. Even Seth's mother appeared to like Edward. She only ever liked me.

And Seth.

He avoided looking at me all throughout dinner, and here he was speaking to Edward as if…as if he was me. It was like the first day we met and he kept stuttering.

Edward finally left, with promises to see Seth in the future.

I watched him as he went, feeling a fury build in my gut. But it was nothing compared to the shards in my chest, pressing against my insides. Pulling my eyes away, I caught the look Leah gave me, before her eyes darted to Maria's.

She finally spoke up for the first time since we entered the restaurant, "Uncle, you really haven't shown mom the new picture of the kids yet. Why don't we switch seats?" She suggested. Being none the wiser, her uncle agreed and got up with enthusiasm to switch.

Now Leah was planted right next to Maria.

And to my surprise, their heads came together as if in quiet conversation.

But I couldn't think about that now. All that was on my mind was the boy in front me.

Well, the man now, sitting there with his glowing brown skin and soft eyes. This was possibly the last time I could just stare at him and admire as I used to everyday.

I never got to speak to him again that night.

The dinner became a blurred background to the foreground of my mind. I dropped Maria home an hour later and despite her desperate need to get me to talk to her, I couldn't utter a word.

That night, I lay in bed, my mind consumed of Seth. He had been so close yet so far. The desire to speak to him, to touch him was too much.

I wanted to kiss him.

Hell, I wanted to kiss him so bad.

And yet, all I could think about was the way he danced with that Edward guy, the way he smiled at him at dinner, even when he hadn't cracked a smile over the table at me. I wanted that smile for me. And I was eager to see it.

I found myself standing in front of Changing Hands, the bookstore I had met the focus of my life more than half a year ago. I knew Seth was a natural busy body and wouldn't let graduation interrupt his work schedule even if he still may have had family back at the house. Rubbing my hands together nervously, I approached the front door I had become all too familiar with. One of Seth's co-workers, Jessica gave me a wide smile and a wave before greeting me with a "Hey Jasper." She had, on more than one occasion, accompanied us in conversations on Seth's breaks.

I stepped around a few book aisles, checking to see if I'd find him organizing or shelving any novels. A ring of laughter instead drew me to where he was. I had missed the carefree chuckle, the way his eyes would sparkle when I said something particularly funny. I hadn't realized how much I loved watching that, seeing a bit of his bold side come out with such uproarious laughter.

My lips were already quirking up on their own as I turned the corner revealing the worn lounge chairs we used to sit and study together in. But what I saw had my heart in my throat.

There Seth sat comfortably next to a familiar boy with auburn hair, both their heads thrown back in laughter, Seth's hand resting comfortably on the boy's lap.

The shards in my chest cut deeper than I believed they could.

He had already moved on, hadn't he? He had already let me go.

\/

"I really wish you wouldn't check my mail." I snapped, throwing the stack of envelopes on the coffee table.

"I really wish you'd get over yourself!" Maria said back, just as viciously. I didn't know why she chose to put up with me. The last two months had been hell. May had bled into June and July wasn't proving to be any better. Maria had attempted to occupy my time by inviting me over for dinners at her uncles' house and even encouraging me join the LGBTQ club on campus so I could at least meet some people 'like me' on campus. I knew she was trying to help me move on since I refused to see Seth. She didn't know I had visited him the day after graduation, she didn't know what I had seen. So I suffered with the memory but spent one day out of every week at Eleazar and Santiago's house, truly enjoying the time I had there, but missing Seth even more whenever I seen the two exchange those looks. I went to the summer LGBTQ meetings every Wednesday, Maria as my support system as usual, listened to others talk and discuss life problems at home or coming out.

I wasn't sure what I was, but being there I knew that what I felt for Seth was palpable and real. If there was anything that was getting better, it was me coming to terms with my love for him. It was something that wouldn't ever go away, even if he never knew of it at all. Maria and I met new people in the club and we'd occasionally meet up for dinner, but it changed nothing else. I still missed him as if he was a missing part of me and sometimes it resulted in some pretty bad days, that July morning being one of them.

Maria had taken to staying in the vacant room in the dorm to keep me company. She was the roommate I never asked for, but nevertheless appreciated at the end of the day. She stood before me then in her oversized shirt and slippers, a glare on her face.

"Jasper Hale Whitlock, stop sulking and read your mail." I rolled my eyes and continued eating my Frosted Flakes. I felt her stare throughout the entire meal, so it didn't take long for me to succumb to her request, placing the bowl down and shifting through the mail. There was a letter from my parents, another credit card offer, an ASU pamphlet for preparations for the upcoming Fall semester and a decorative lilac colored card. I felt my brows furrow as I picked it up and read.

You are cordially invited to the wedding of Leah and Sam Uley…

I looked up at Maria before I finished reading the rest, "What the hell is this?"

"An invitation to a wedding, from what it looks like." She shrugged.

"Leah invited me." I said in disbelief, "Why? I mean, after the whole-"My palm dug into my eye furiously as I tried to understand just why Seth's very protective sister would invite me to her wedding when her brother may not even want me there.

"Oh, Jasper." Maria sighed sympathetically, sitting next to me. Just thinking about Seth hurt too much. I wasn't sure I could stomach seeing him at a wedding with happy couples, especially if his friend was there.

"Look, we'll go together and it'll be good. We'll have fun, drink champagne and dance-"

"What?" I was suddenly startled from my thoughts, "Maria, you didn't-?"

"Oh, I got my invitation last week when she was mailing them out." She spoke with casualness, "I had the honor of having it handed to me."

"You-" I stammered, "Wait a- How?"

Maria stared back at me with wide, innocent, brown eyes, "Certainly you didn't think I was going to let you give up so soon, Jasper." She giggled.

"Tsk, tsk, mi amor, you should have known better." Raising a hand over her heart, she said full-heartedly, "Maria sabe todo."

\/

AN: So considering this chapter, I thought it was fair to finish off from Seth's POV. So yes, a third chapter is going to be added.

What do you think is going to happen? Will Seth be with Edward? Will Jasper go to the wedding? I'm also curious about what you think of Maria. I felt it was nice to have her as a companion instead of the usual enemy or tramp we get in other fics. I'm eager for thoughts!

I have a poll up on my livejournal regarding your favorite twislash couples. I'm so curious to know what you guys like. The link is posted up on my profile. Vote away!