AN: I got this idea from when I was watching "Hayden Tract" again the other day (LOLA). I felt the need to explore Dekker's comment a little more... I decided that it's probably one of the worst episodes ever, except for the little Mike Cutter reference. Also, I noticed that in one scene, Connie's name tag says Constance instead of Consuela. Interesting. Anyway, I imagine that this conversation takes place with Connie in her car and Mike finishing things up at the office. Obviously, it's set after Connie's settled into her role in L.A. It's probably the only pointless, "fluff" piece that I will ever write. It's sarcastic and a little confusing (format-wise), but I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I don't own anybody or anything. They belong to Dick Wolf.


- "Cutter."

- "I had an interesting conversation with Joe Dekker today. He seems to think that I have a habit of going off of the reservation and sabotaging cases to satisfy a social agenda. I believe the term he used was 'loose cannon.' Anyway, I'm sitting here in traffic trying to figure out where he got an idea like that…"

- "Connie, I can explain."

- "You have 30 seconds."

- "We were having dinner, and he asked for a little background on you. It would have been unethical not to give him a glimpse of every facet of your work here in Manhattan, the good and the bad."

- "So, you brought up the Grogan case?"

- "I felt it was apropos."

- "Uh-huh… I'm sensing an ulterior motive, here."

- "It's offensive that you would even think that my intentions were anything other than honorable."

- "Excuse me, did we just meet?"

- "Okay, okay… The truth?"

- "The clock is ticking, Cutter."

- "I may or may not have made a few…misrepresentative remarks. I figured that if things didn't work out for you in California, you would be forced to come back to New York and rescue me from my intolerable misery."

- "I'm going to pretend that you're not completely insane, and that you didn't just admit to sabotage."

- "I'm well on my way to insanity, Connie. Jack's got me paired up with the biggest prick on the planet."

- "So…you're…working with yourself?"

- "I can't take it anymore. He wears this obnoxious cologne; he hates sports… He watches Fox News!"

- "You watch Fox News."

- "Yeah, but I think he watches it for actual information, not just to make fun of it. Connie, he calls me 'Mikey', and I swear to God the guy doesn't understand personal space. I'm sworn to uphold the law, but do you know, I have actually considered murder? Sometimes, when he's talking, I think about what it would feel like to take a swing at his head with my bat. It would be justifiable homicide. You could represent me; just name your retainer!"

- "You're exaggerating…"

- "I'm not! Connie, I'm begging you—literally, I'll get on my knees. You can be First Chair… You can have my office! Anything you want—just come home."

- "As tempting as the image of you groveling may be, my life is here now. Even if I wanted to go back, I can't. I have obligations. Besides, I'm still angry with you."

- "I'm sorry. I was out-of-line.

- "Yes, you were."

- "By the way, did you get my flowers?"

- "How could I miss them? You had two dozen roses delivered to the office … for everyone to see, including Hardin."

- "I try to be discreet, I really do."

- "I moved 3,000 miles away, and I still can't escape your antics."

- "You live for my antics, Connie. You're the unattainable goddess, and I'm your zealous suitor."

- "More like 'stalker.'"

- "Is the character assassination really necessary?"

- "You walked into that one."

- "You know, it's illegal to talk on a cell phone while you're driving, now."

- "Have you seen rush hour traffic in L.A.? My car is practically in park. Besides, you're on speaker."

- "I just remembered... I have to go wash my hair."

- "Oh, come on! Your feelings aren't really hurt, are they?"

- "If I say 'yes', what happens?"

- "We'll be even. I'm mad at you, remember?"

- "Right…"

- "Oh, hey, I gotta go. Dekker's on the other line."

- "You can call him back later."

- "What if it's important?"

- "Are you saying that I'm not?"

- "I'm saying that I'll call you tomorrow."

- "I won't hold my breath."

- "I promise."

- "Well, in that case…"

- "I gotta go!"

- "Connie?"

- "What?"

- "Nothing... Have a good night."

- "I miss you, too, Mike.


AN: Btw, I have nothing against Fox News... but I feel like Mike would. :)