Belladonna
By: Fearless_Dranzer
4 - Inorganic Decadence
My dazed eyes stared expectantly at the path of footprints before me.
There was one set of footprints in the dust.
Just one.
I pushed myself up using the wall behind me as a crutch. The world spun around me but for the first time in days, it felt like my mind was clear of the haze it had been seeped in. I took a tentative step forward and my weak legs managed to support my weight. Further into the decrepit building I stumbled until I reached the area where Sesshoumaru and I had drank tea together. There was nothing but two crates and a dirty and cracked tea pot.
There were scuff marks in the dust by one of the crates and the impression of one set of footprints leading towards them. A whimper escaped my throat but I didn't believe my eyes. Instead, I forced myself to walk deeper into the hellhole until I found the belladonna. There was one vine with maybe a dozen flowers on it, twining its way up the back wall. A circlet of rotting flowers lay upon the floor. There was a high pitched keening noise coming from my throat that I couldn't stop.
Once again, there was only one pair of footprints in the dust.
There had only ever been one pair of footprints.
I had been the only person ever here.
All of our interactions...all of them...were...fake...
A hallucination...
Somehow, I had managed to make up all the time I had spent with Sesshoumaru.
There was a thick coating of dust on everything that tickled my throat and made me cough violently. A floorboard creaked underneath me and groaned so loudly that I thought it might snap. Hurriedly, I back up, retracing my steps to the front of the building. By this time I was hyperventilating—my breathing was ragged and my eyesight was fading fast. It felt like I was being closed in by a black abyss of which I had no hope of escaping.
I could feel bile rising up in my throat but nothing came up except for the acid in my stomach. Then there was some dry heaving and I leaned my head against the cool glass of the front window. A window that was covered by a sign that read 'Condemned by the Board of Health'.
With a shudder I shuffled out of the front door of the building, leaving behind the dust record that proved that I had been the only person there. I was afraid that as I left, the past would come back up and drag me back in the building—never letting me out.
A delusion.
Fake.
Made up.
My imagination.
...no it couldn't all be just a hallucination brought on by sniffing those goddamned flowers...it couldn't be...
I opened the door and stumbled out into the cooling rain. Had he been a ghost? If he was, why hadn't he appeared tonight to prove to me that I wasn't crazy? And why had I been hallucinating? Why would he hand me those flowers? The only explanation was that I had imagined the whole damn thing. The second I had walked in the front door of this condemned build, I had been doomed.
That first inhale had been laced with poison. And every breath I took after that was like the nail in my coffin. I never stood a chance. I was fucking crazy. I'd been going crazy. How did I know that the belladonna hadn't had a lasting effect on me? That I wasn't crazy now? For Christ's sake—I'd just run out of a hospital in nothing but my pajamas! Sane people don't do that!
I needed to run. I needed to be anywhere but here. My breath caught in my throat and I ran forward, my limbs not totally obeying me. I heard an awful loud noise that deafened me but I was in no shape to respond or figure out what that noise was. Instead, I just let out a moan and took another step forward.
I never realized that I'd stepped off the curb and into the street. I didn't hear the sound of the truck's horn blaring at me. I almost didn't feel the impact of the truck on my left side. I barely heard the sickening crunch of my bones breaking. The wind flew through my hair.
'Catch me, Sesshoumaru,' I thought as I sailed through the air to meet the cold wet asphalt.
My eyes fluttered open a few times before I could focus on anything. The bright light blinded me but my head was clear of the throbbing that has been plaguing me for the last few days. Instead, I felt light as air—my discomfort was gone. I tried to wiggle my fingers but there was no response. My muscles felt oddly stiff. Wiggling my toes gave the same sensation.
"Oh, Kagome..." The concerned voice of my mother rang through my ears. I shifted my head over to look at her face—she looked older than she had a few days ago, there were wrinkles where there hadn't been any before.
Sitting next to her was my brother, Souta, his eyes were red—he'd been crying. He sniffed back another sob and gave me a watery smile. "I was so...so... worried about you, Kagome."
My grandfather patted me on the cheek and brushed some of my hair back out of my face. "My, sweet sweet girl—what happened? Tell us."
"What do you mean? Where am I? The last thing I remember... oh... oh God." I trailed off and looked down at my body. My breath hitched up as I realized why I could move any of my fingers or toes. Both my arms were wrapped in plaster and some of my fingers too. My left leg was suspended in the air and also wrapped in plaster. I took a deep breath and a stabbing pain made me moan.
"Oh no! She's in pain. I'll call the nurse!" My mom cried out before frantically pressing the nurse call button on the wall next to her. "Oh my sweet Kagome." She said as fat tears ran down her face. She reached forward and wiped away the salt water running down my face which just made the tears come harder.
A nurse came running in, all flustered and red in the face. "You're awake!" She cried before hurrying over to my IV bag. "How much pain would you say you're in Kagome, on a scale of one to ten?" She asked me.
The throbbing pain started up in all parts of my body and I moaned a response to her. Apparently this meant something to her because she just nodded and started injecting something into my IV bag. Almost instantly the pain dissipated and was replaced with a feeling of serenity. I sighed my content.
"Mom, what happened? I just remember this truck coming towards me..." I said, not ready to put two and two together yet.
"Well, sweetheart, that truck ended up hitting you. Luckily, the driver knew basic first aid and CPR, so you were handed off to the EMTs in stable condition... You ended up breaking your arms, some fingers, a leg, and a couple of ribs...Kagome... we were so worried. Seeing you lying there like that, it was terrible."
"I'm so sorry Mom! I didn't realize I wasn't on the sidewalk anymore. I couldn't move away fast enough..."
"Kagome! No one blames you! You were sick and poisoned!" My grandfather broke in. "Why when I find the boy who did this to you, I'll...I'll—well I don't know what I'll do but it'll be terrible!"
"No one gave me the flowers," I struggled with the words. "I wandered into this condemned building to escape the rain and I found those flowers. I didn't realize what they were, so I leaned in close and took a deep breath... Everything else must have been a hallucination. There hadn't been anyone else in that building for a long, long time."
My mother let out a breath, "That's a relief Kagome. I was afraid someone was trying to hurt you!"
I almost choked on my self pity, it was so thick. They stayed for another hour, fussing over me. Souta left me some of his mangas to read, forgetting that I had no control of my arms. My grandfather pointed out all the flowers in the bouquets that littered the room. Apparently my friends had been informed of what happened and they'd started sending gifts in force. It made me laugh when I saw the size of the chocolate heart given to me by Yuka.
When the nurse came back in the second time to make sure my pain killers hadn't worn off, she ushered everyone out once she saw the look on my face. My mother fussed over me a little more before they all left. The nurse turned the lights out for me and I proceeded to cry myself to sleep quietly.
He'd been a dream. Nothing but a hallucination. I'd made him up completely. I'd fallen in love with a mirage.
Who does something like that?
I'm a freak.
Deranged.
Insane.
I drifted off into a listless sleep.
The next morning, I woke up with my mouth feeling drier than cotton. I tentatively tried to move my tongue but it was glued to the roof of my mouth. I tried to grab the water pitcher off of the table next to my bed but my clumsy fingers spilled the pitcher. With a sniffle, I pressed the call button on the side of my bed and a nurse appeared a moment later. She was an elderly woman and different than the one who'd been with me last night.
Her hair was twisted into a loose bun on top of her head and she gave me a wrinkled smile that showed her dentures. "You're awake Kagome. The nurses have been waiting for you to join the world of the living again. We were all excited to meet you after hearing the way your family talked about you."
This made tears run down my cheeks again and she came over and gently brushed them away with a tissue. "There now, no need for crying my dear. You're alive and here and that's what counts. It's a miracle that you weren't hurt worse. And a miracle that the driver used to be an EMT himself. He knew exactly what to do." I nodded in response and tried to stop the tears building in my eyes.
"Now, what's the matter, Kagome?"
"Thirsty..." I croaked out and I flicked my fingers towards the spilled pitcher.
"Ah I see, hold on a moment." The nurse walked over to the other side of the room and picked up another pitcher sitting by the sink. Slowly, she poured me a cup of water and pressed it to my lips, encouraging me to drink. I drank two cup-fulls before I could speak.
"I'm sorry I spilled the water," I said. She nodded sagely.
The nurse walked over to the windows and threw open the shades. The sun light came streaming in and hit me on the face. "I guess I am lucky, right?" I said with a sob before the tears started dripping down my cheeks. I cried long and hard for myself, for my loss and for all the pain I'd been putting my friends and family through these last few days. I'd caused my mother's premature aging and had made things harder on my already sick grandfather. A kid as young as Souta didn't need to know what it would be like if he lost his sister either.
The nurse stayed with me and patted my head until the tears stopped flowing. "Here, I'll call the doctor in to come see you now that you are calmed down." I nodded and she hobbled out of the room.
When she was gone I took stock of myself. I could only wiggle seven of my ten fingers and only five of my toes. Both my arms were essentially useless because they were forced to be bent at a ninety degree angle. And I had to make certain that I didn't make any sudden movements or my ribs would scream in protest. I could feel the throbbing and tightness of my skin where I assumed my flesh was littered with bruises and scabs. When I tried to move my mouth into a smile, I could feel the splitting of skin as I broke open a-barely-healed cut.
It should have been worse.
I should have been dead.
Salty tears of relief stung the split in my lip.
I was alive and it seemed like the hospital staff was convinced that only a miracle could have left me in this good of shape. And I agreed with them. It was a damn miracle that I was hit by a truck and survived with such minimal injuries. I hadn't even required any surgery.
A miracle.
I looked over at the sunlight streaming through my windows and another tear escaped. But this wasn't a tear of sadness but a tear of happiness.
I was alive.
I shifted in my bed and felt only the slightest bit of protest from my ribs. The bruises had faded and the cuts on my body were almost completely healed. I still had all my casts on but bones take weeks to heal. I wouldn't being doing anything too strenuous for a while.
But my doctor had decided that I could go home and it felt like a dream come true. I laughed and the nurse braiding my hair patted my on the shoulder.
"Excited about going home Kagome?" My nurse asked me.
"Yes," I simply replied and I think she understood.
My mother came in a few minutes later and she leaned down to kiss me on the forehead like she always did. My mother had visited me once a day for the past two and a half weeks I'd been in the hospital. She'd come after work on weekdays and all day long on the weekends. Some of my other friends had come to see me after the school day was over and there was always Souta and Grandpa stopping in. I hadn't been too lonely, especially since a lot of the nurses liked to come eat lunch with me.
Two nurses helped me into a wheelchair and my mother placed a blanket she'd knit on top of me. It had grown much colder since I'd been in the hospital. A lot had changed over these weeks and yet it seemed like nothing had changed at all.
I said my goodbyes to the nurses and my mother took me out to the car. As we rode down the elevator, my mother chatted with me about everything under the sun. She asked me what I wanted my first home cooked meal to be and I'd responded that anything she made would seem delicious compared to hospital food. She laughed.
It was then that I realized that never once had my mother mentioned school to me in all the time that I'd been in the hospital. She'd never told me to study or do any of the homework that was doubtless piling up on me.
Maybe now I could finally tell her that I didn't want to go to TokyoU, that I'd rather go to some university in America. That maybe, I didn't want to become a doctor, maybe I wanted to be a nurse. The thought of studying in America made me so excited, maybe I would go to NYU. I'd always loved New York City but I had never been.
Two male nurses put me into the car and my mother drove us home.
"Oh Kagome! You should have seen your doctor! He was so handsome, I can't believe you managed to be asleep every time you saw him..." My mother said with a laugh.
I laughed too. "I was either asleep or too drugged up on pain killers to be aware of what was happening." After the first three days of me being awake, I'd refused any more painkillers. They made my brain foggy—like I was drunk or super tired. By the third time that I'd hallucinated girl scouts trying to sell me cookies, I decided that Tylenol would be strong enough for me. After spending a few days sniffing belladonna, I was tired of hallucinating.
"Haha, well you're lucky because you'll get another chance to see your doctor. You won't believe it Kagome,I can't really believe it myself-but he and his two boys moved in next door to us."
"You mean, down by the street? Or behind us on the other side of the hill?"
"Behind us! Remember the Takami's house has been for sale since last year! I didn't think anyone would be able to afford the price they put on that thing! But I guess if anyone could afford it, it would be a doctor." My mother mused to herself and I agreed.
"What a small world." I said.
My mother nodded in agreement. "Sometimes, the world is a funny place."
Suddenly, I remembered the figure I'd seen all those days ago, looking down on me from the window of the condemned building. Who had that been? I could've sworn I'd seen someone looking down at me. Had there been a little grain of truth to my hallucinations? Had I seen someone or thought I'd seen someone and then my deluded mind had put a face to that shadowy figure? I couldn't decide.
I just looked up at the sun and wondered.
"A bunch of your friends came by and helped us get the house ready for you! They even built a small ramp so that we can get you up the stairs. You're a lucky girl Kagome to have such nice friends. In fact—a young man, Hojo, I think his name was—came by a few times to check up on you. He was very cute Kagome..." She said, giving me a knowing look.
"Oh, yeah. He's a nice guy—always wanting to carry my books for me." I said, trying to itch my right leg on my cast.
"Now, remember, the hospital didn't want you to go home so soon. But they agreed that you could come home with us if you had a nurse for the next week and a half on duty 24/7. She came to us highly recommended by the hospital—she used to work there! Her name is Sango and she'll be here in a few hours. We've got her set up in the empty guest room next to yours with a call button connecting the two of you. There is a call button that goes into my room too."
"Oh, Mom! You have to work! You can't be taking care of me all the time, especially when you hired someone to do that for you." I complained, trying to remind her that she had other obligations.
"Kagome, honey, I can't help but feel like this is all my fault. I pushed you too hard and you were under so much stress that this all happened to you! Maybe this makes no sense Kagome, but I'm your mother and mothers are prone to blaming themselves for anything bad that happens to their child." She looked over at me and placed a hand over one of mine. I could feel the warmth of her skin through my cast.
"Mom, none of this is your fault. I just made a bad decision and things spiraled out of control...I think it was just bad luck...I'm not sure. I'm trying to blame someone—something—but nothing seems right. Sometimes, bad things happen and there's nothing you can do."
"I guess you're right Kagome. Let's try to live and learn."
Once my mother pulled up into the driveway, we were charged with the task of getting me out of the car. My brother came running out when he heard the car coming up and between him and my mother they managed to eventually get me into the wheelchair. I'd been jostled and hurt a few times but I didn't show any indication of the pain I felt—I'd already put my family through too much. As my family wheeled me to the front door, I caught sight of a moving truck parked at the house on the other side of our hill.
My brother pointed out the ramp he had helped build and I admired his handiwork. But I was too busy peering over my shoulder at the moving truck to really pay any attention to the ramp. The front door opened and my grandfather came out to greet me. There was a much taller middle aged man looming behind him.
He had long white hair in a low ponytail behind him and half-moon glasses perched on his nose. His eyes were a cold green-mixed-with-gold color. He wore a doctor's lab coat with a few pens in the chest pocket.
"Ah, Kagome. Awake at last. I'm Dr. Taisho, I've been taking care of you and making sure that you heal correctly." He said in a deep voice. His voice was much warmer than his outside appearance and he waved my mother off so that he could roll me easily up the ramp.
"Kagome, we invited Dr Taisho over for some tea so that he could take a break from unpacking. We figured you should get the chance to properly meet him." My mother called from behind me.
I can barely hear a word anyone was saying to me.
He looked like...Sesshoumaru...
But how?
He wheeled me into the house and into the kitchen where my grandfather had set up a pseudo-traditional tea ceremony. I guess he had modified it since there was no way I'd be able to sit on the ground.
We all took seats, with me rolled up to the table and began drinking some of my grandfather's custom blended tea. Dr. Taisho and everyone else kept up a steady good natured conversation and I tried to chime in occasionally. But I couldn't stop staring at Dr. Taisho.
What had happened to me?
Had Sesshoumaru been real?
Dr. Taisho looked just like him and kept mentioning his two sons...
The sun shone in through the window on this cold day, but warm rays fell upon me. I looked up and out the window into the blinding sun and couldn't help but feel like this had all happened for a reason. I couldn't explain it and I didn't exactly regret everything that had occurred to me—slowly, I'd come to this realization.
Could the boy I'd fallen in love with be real?
Or was he just a trick of the belladonna?
The End
Author's Note – I think one person managed to semi guess the ending. I wanted to write a story with a true twist to prove that sometimes things seem too coincidental. That sometimes it almost looks like someone has pulling the strings. But when something truly remarkable happens to you, who do you have to thank?
Did she really meet Sesshoumaru?
Was everything in her head?
It seems like too much of a coincidence.
And some times there are never answers for these kinds of mysteries.
