Like I promised another Chapter. I'm very proud of this chapter actually. But like I've mentioned before if you don't like it…tell me….I had re-written this chapter 3 times and I'm proud of the final product. Once again thank you for all of those who have taken the time in reading this. It makes me happy.
Oh And I promise that the next chapter will be more happy…..
Bold=Song or random words to make a point
SPECIAL THANKS TO:
ZOEY CRUISE- Thank you. I really hope you like this one. And once again thank you for all of your support
CHERY- Really, I'm so glad that I haven't let you down. Here I have finally updated. I really hope you continue to read this. Thank you for all of your support
THE YAOI PIMPETTE- Next chapter will be quite humorous, but this one turned out to be serious. I hope you don't mind…thank you for all of your support
Windalchemist001- I'm really glad that you have enjoyed this story by far. And thank you for taking the time in reviewing, I greatly appreciate it. I promise that the next chapter will be more humorous since I feel that this story is a tad too sad hahaha…Good times are bound to happen soon
As I watched Bra giggle and ride that cat like creature that looked like it had some form of weird disease and no one had the decency to euthanize yet. I stood there wondering where it was that my childhood had gone. A childhood that was now ruining my teenage years.
All I was trying to do was breath again and strive to be that strong saiyan I once was. But I couldn´t because there was just to much that time couldn´t erase.
How long had I been preventing my heart from breaking? How long had I tried to mend all my broken pieces? Sometimes it got to the point in where looking at my own reflection in the mirror hurt because when I looked at myself my ugly reflection of my memories looked back.
"(Baby Laugh)"
And yet, It was her laughter that broke me out of my trance. The laughter of a child which proved my existence meaningful in some way. Those sounds which resonated through the mall became edge of glory for me. Many people turned, wondering where such a sound came from. A gentle laugh which brought a warmness to my heart. A happiness I had sought to give my mother,
This very same happiness
"(Baby Talk)"
"Are you done Bra-Chan?" I asked
I picked her up, her eyes which once showed energy, were now drained. She didn't feel like walking anymore (trying to), the child was finally exhausted, but content at the same time. Almost as if her life's mission was finally complete. Which I think it was…
Looking at her drowsy eyes, made me realize why Vegeta loved this child, and why he had seem more human when he was around the young heiress.
"Sorry, Goten, are you ready to go home?" I heard someone ask me. But for some reason I couldn't recognize this voice, it seemed almost sensual, I might even add sexy. A voice that sent shivers down my spine. My heart had fallen, and where my stomach once was,butterflies lived. I felt my knees turn to mush. But I found myself clutching my heart once I turned to see Trunks surrounded by all those girls.
I couldn't place it, I didn't know where such emotions had surfaced from. Maybe, It had happened when I saw the way those girls surrounded Trunks.… that I had a sinking feeling at the pit of my stomach.
What was this feeling? I didn't know, however, I knew that these feeling only arose when I was around my best friend, this poignant feeling, was different. It felt horrible. A feeling I had never felt with Gohan.
…But a part of me knew that girls were better company, because they were pretty, they were smart, they were soft. They were mothers, they were able to offer him a family. They weren´t broken...like me
How was I going to compete with that. Tell me?
"….." I couldn't respond
I looked down at Bra-chan and the child was deeply asleep, at least one of us was content in this situation.
Her small hand clung onto my shirt, something that warmed my heart, because it simmered down whatever self-doubt I had within me….I was glad that I had Bra to distract myself with
Because from the corner of my eyes I could clearly see, hatred, pity, and disgust…..I wanted to introduce myself to them, but I didn't…. they already had misconceptions about me.
The girls however tried to persuade him(Trunks) otherwise
"He can walk home, can't he?" one of the girls whispered
"You're to nice Trunks" the other reprimanded
And that's how it went for what seemed forever, until I wavered under their heated gaze
"It's okay Trunks. I'll just walk home" I whispered
But it seemed as if he wasn't paying attention to me. Instead he flirted with them. The way your hands twirled around their hips...I wanted to look away but I found myself yearning for that very affection. The way your eyes shone, your smile, the sweet nothings
Time and time again, I play the role of fool
(Just for you)
"I'll just walk home." I stated once again this time a bit louder.
Do tell me why you waster our time, when your heart is admitting you're not satisfied
You finally turned to me, and walked closer, tall and proud you walked towards me, looking at me like the prince that you were.
Almost as if you were carrying all of OUR race with you on your shoulders. Dragging them behind you
I couldn't move, a finger, or even cracked a knuckle…..I didn't dare to make a sound. At that moment I had hoped that my heart would stop beating, to stop clinging to whatever it was we had. And yet no one else would notice, but your KI had gone up many levels and I couldn't move because it had scared me
Thankfully Bra didn't notice.
I looked at you with courage in my eyes, but as soon as I turned, my hands clung desperately to blood poured down from my bottom lip. I wasn´t ready to show you these eyes. Eyes that had unlocked everything that I had put away…..
When you grace me with your cold shoulder, whenever you look at me and wish I was her
Day #2
Today would be the day I would fly.
Yes fly.
Five years. Five freaken years and I still hadn't found a way to fly.
But today would be the day.
Thank God babies slept for more than 10 hours. And since the day had been glorious I placed her crib outside…don't ask me how I achieved that feat.
But anyways, I placed her crib outside…that way I could meditate and watch her at the same time…..
However I was having trouble concentrating.
Something was wrong, not with me but with Trunks. For the past day Trunks has/has been acting weird around me. He hasn't been home, and when he looks at me…it reminds me of when we went to the mall.
"SIGH"
QUickly I shook my head. I didn't want to think about this anymore. Today I wanted to fly
Slowly I closed my eyes, channeling whatever energy it was that I had built up these past years. Everything seemed different when I closed my eyes, things I had never seen when my eyes were open.
All around me, everything was lively. But I wouldn't last long, because once you start this process of Purification, you start fighting your inner demons.
"Next time I'll be braver I'll be my own savior when the thunder calls for me, Next time I'll be braver I'll be my own savior standing on my own two feet"
Ahhh, I remember that day, I remember saying those exact words…our Turning Tables. A life that changed the color of my eyes.
I honestly thought I had achieved my own salvation, by standing on my own. And yet I never achieved anything.
I was never very outspoken.
I never wore nice clothes.
I still hoped for my mother to walk through Capsule Corp´s doors.
How did I change. I had more questions than before.
"It's okay to be afraid. That is what it means to be human. It's your humanity. Being afraid doesn't make you weak. No. Your humanity Goten….allows you to conquer it. Remember brother, one's greatest enemy is oneself"
Gohan….my brother, my father, my guardian.
Mother's hatred,
Bulma's kindness,
Vegeta's coldness(tough love) and Trunks way of making me face things, never compared to Gohan's advice. Advice that he had given me in-order to face the shadows that plagued me. Subconsciously my knees were tired, my legs didn't want to walk anymore, and my hands didn't want to grasp out anymore…
I was tired, because whenever you hold out a helping hand, it gets hurt….
"Goten, I don't thinking people hurting each other is bad. I'm sure that people you've hurt with that fist….have deeper wounds that anyone else. I think that people hurting each other is a way for two people to eventually shape their forms…that way they can mesh together well. If you are afraid of your held out hand getting hurt…then I want to use my fist to make the present with you.
Because when we find strength in someone, and chase after that. That is where we get courage to advance forward. Remember brother, No matter what kind of sadness envelops the darkness of our despair…if you put one foot in front of the other, at some point you will reach a place where you can see the light"
That day Gohan had given me a reason to continue my feeble life
"Goten, I love you"
It was his love for me. That allowed me to stand here and live, breath and dream. Unlike my mother who made me believe the opposite...
Yes, it was her words that made me believe I was ugly, that I was stupid, that no one would ever love me. She had truly made me believe how insignificant I was.
I had lost the real me. And sitting here, I hadn't realized how badly I had believed it. Which made sense….it was the reason why I was never outspoken, the reason I never left the house, the reason why I always stuttered when threatened
I breathed in deeply.
"I will become stronger….and then I'll kill all the people that did this to you mom!"
This memory…..I remember it. How could I have forgotten…..this was when I was 7 years old. Mother had gone out that day, and when she came back, bandages covered her face, and she was sleeping while I stayed by her side. Enraged by the person that had hurt you….I remember all of those tears, because as a saiyan I wasn't able to help you. As a man I wasn't able to protect you…..
"Mom….Do you remember we used to go shopping together a lot….I would try to find eggs or something that were cheaper even if only by one cent in flyers. So I put as many groceries as I could into my bag….I wanted to help you any way I could. But you always put the heavy things into your bag…..
*Tears*
I…..To the very end….I NEVER was able to protect you even once…
The young raven poured his heart out, tears of sadness poured down from his eyes, almost like a never ending river. So many bad moments he had lived with his mother. So many that he had forgotten the reason why he had wanted to save her in the first place. Hatred had borne in his heart, the hatred, that grew once his mother betrayed him by leaving.
That's why he cried, because he had forgotten why he had tried so hard to save her and why he had never hated her because subconsciously he knew…..but it was buried deeply into his mind
"Don't cry" I heard a whisper…
I looked up,
"Go-chan, what do you want to be when you grown up?" my mother asked
A young Goten stood there walking hand and hand with ChiChi, and giggles were heard
"Hmmmmmmm…" Young Goten thought
Soon the young child smiled,
"Mom, when I grow up all I want to be is HAPPY"
Once Again Thank you for taking the time in reading this. Review if you get the chance, might update faster. Goten Finally remembered what it was that he wanted to be a child...YAY!
There were certain lines that don't belong to me, but were taken from certain Manga's
Tenjou Tenge
Under the Glass Moon
Song=Cold Shoulder- Adele
Next Chapter- Happiness all around LOL...I think Goten has finally made a step foward, so next chapter will be sunshine lol..
Edited(4-28-2012)
