Thank you so much for the wonderful response.
Some time during the evening, Blaine's mother arrived home. Blaine didn't hear the door or her footsteps on the stairs. But when she knocked on the door, he got up from his bed and opened the door.
"I'm home," she said gently and smiled at him. He nodded. He didn't care much. On one hand, he almost wanted to throw himself into her arms and let her comfort him. But he hadn't hugged the woman in so long, he wasn't sure he wouldn't just fall right through her. She looked at him with concerned eyes and asked if he had been crying. He smiled at her and shook his head. He couldn't find comfort with her anymore. There had been to many times where she had failed him for that.
She patted him on the head a few times, making him feel very small. Young. And then she turned around and walked back down the stairs. For a moment, Blaine wanted to follow her down and ask about her trip. He wanted to ask, if she had met some nice people or seen something beautiful. But he stopped himself. He remembered that he didn't really know the woman. She was his mother, sure. But they never talked like that. It was the sadness pressing in his chest that wanted to talk to her.
Blaine ended up on his bed again. He stayed there for a long while before something happened again. Sebastian was calling him. Blaine stared at the screen for a while. He wasn't about to just give it all up to the guy, just because he was hurting. Blaine picked up, slowly lifting the phone to his ear.
"Hey handsome. You doing okay?" Sebastian asked. His smirk was audible but his voice was oddly soft. Blaine didn't answer. There was a lump stuck somewhere in his throat - because Sebastian knew about him. He knew what had happened.
Sebastian went on, talking about how happy all the Warblers were about Blaine transferring back. Blaine wanted so badly to smile while Sebastian talked, but he just couldn't. His face was frozen in a mixture discomfort and sorrow. It was starting to hurt a little in the muscles of his face, but he'd rather that than looking completely blank. Blaine had always preferred to feel pain to being numb.
"Do you want to meet up?" Sebastian asked suddenly. Blaine swallowed before thinking. He didn't really want to go out, honestly. But something told Blaine that he might want to consider it. He felt it might be a good idea to get out, look at someone and talk to them. There weren't really anybody for him to talk to. He almost felt parentless thinking something like that. He said yes in the end. Agreed to Tuesday.
"I'll see you tomorrow, beautiful." Blaine couldn't help but sob when Sebastian hung up. Those words were words Kurt had used to describe him – they weren't supposed to come from anybody else. Blaine looked out of the window for a moment. The sky wasn't visible because of clouds, so the stars were invisible too. He couldn't care. The loneliness hit him at that moment. It was around that time of night were Kurt would call to say goodnight. Silent tears streamed down Blaine's face when he got up, out of the bed.
Even though it had gotten late, he knew his mother would be downstairs. He went down there so he wouldn't have to eat alone. On the way down, he tried his best to stop the tears, but he couldn't. So when he walked into the kitchen, it was with still wet eyes. His mother looked at him for a moment. Her facial expression changed from calm to concerned in a heartbeat. She got up from where she was seated and rushed to him. He smiled at her through the tears and simply stated that Kurt had broken up with him. She sighed and kissed his cheek.
"Your father will be home in an hour," she said as she turned away from him. He stared at her back. That was all? He knew there wasn't much comfort to find within her, but she could have said something more. Blaine looked at his mother for a moment. She was making herself a cup of coffee. Something inside Blaine made him want to shout at the woman. He wanted to shout at her, how tired he was of her not caring, how much he wished she had never given birth to him. But he didn't say a thing. He simply sat down with her by the dinner table and flashed fake smiles until he heard his father walk through the front door.
At the sound, Blaine got up and left the table. He knew what his father would say when he found out that Blaine had been left. He would simply say, "I told you so". He had never believed that there was anything between the two of them. Blaine had more than once stood to yell at his father for that reason.
"I'm going to go to bed," Blaine said as he walked through the door and towards the stairs. He briefly shared a glance with his father, who honestly looked ready to rip Blaine into pieces. He came home in that mood once in a while and ended up doing nothing but fighting with Blaine. Blaine ran up the stairs and let himself into his room.
He fell onto the bed after three shaking steps and slept uneasily until his mother knocked on his door. He looked up at his alarm clock only to see it turned off.
As he got up, he realized he had been without Kurt for more than 24 hours. He stared at himself in the bathroom mirror. His eyes weren't red, but empty. Suddenly it hit him, that he was feeling worse than the day before. He tried as hard as he could to cry, sob or just anything. Nothing happened. All he could press out were a few fake and not very affective choked whimpers.
"Shit," he cursed under his breath. Becoming numb wasn't good. He felt dead - he even looked dead. His skin was paler than usual, his eyes not red from crying but simply bloodshot. The feeling filling him was more painful than the hurt he had felt the day before, but it didn't trigger any tears. Blaine felt like a shell.
On his way out of the door, his father caught him by the shoulder and turned him around to face him. They looked at each other for a moment, before Blaine's father asked him why he had been in such a hurry to get away the night before. Blaine stared blankly at him. There was a smile on his father's face that Blaine hadn't seen since he had come out. Something in Blaine stomach twisted. He felt something, but it wasn't pain. He pushed his father backwards and stared at him with angry eyes for a moment.
"I'm not straight just because I'm single," he spat at his father before turning around again and walking out the door.
The whole day was clouded to Blaine, anger slowly building inside him every time he saw Kurt or when somebody mentioned his name. Blaine looked at his watch before glee and decided to skip it. He couldn't risk an outburst, so he called up Sebastian who agreed to skip practice too.
When Blaine walked in to the Lima Bean, Sebastian was already seated at a table in the corner with two cups of coffee and a broad smile on his face. Blaine couldn't be angry with him, for some reason.
"Hey you," Sebastian greeted. Blaine nodded in return and sat down. As he started to drink the coffee, Sebastian started small talking. Blaine didn't really listen, but nodded and shook his head at the right times.
"You aren't listening," Sebastian stated suddenly. Blaine looked him straight in the eyes and smiled coldly, shrugging.
"I know I'm not exactly the person you want to be sitting here with, but I am, Blaine. I'm putting my want for you aside here. I'm trying to be a good person right now. I want to listen," Sebastian said. Blaine looked at his forehead to avoid eye contact. Maybe Sebastian should just turn of the whole caring-guy thing. It wasn't helping. It was frustrating for Blaine to be sitting across from a guy who was usually very blunt in everything he said, but had changed into some caring boyfriend type. Blaine's mind went straight to Kurt and his stomach clenched at the thought, making him almost throw up the coffee on the way down his throat. And then he said it out loud. That he didn't need Sebastian's pity.
"What do you need then?" Blaine looked down at his hands and thought for a moment. He realized that he wanted to know that he was still the same. He needed to be confirmed that even without Kurt to tell him so, he was still this good-looking guy.
"To feel wanted," Blaine mumbled and sipped up more coffee. "And friends. But I have David and Wes for that." Sebastian chuckled and sat down his cup, a slight blush in his face. Blaine couldn't find the feeling of surprise inside, even if he wanted to. It was the first time Sebastian hadn't been completely cocky towards him.
"Can you give me that?" Blaine whispered, suddenly, slightly surprising himself. Sebastian seemed surprised too, but got up and started putting on his coat. Blaine followed suit, silently following Sebastian out.
Sebastian's house was just as empty as Blaine's would normally be around five in the afternoon. It wasn't cold or unpleasant, just empty. Another empty than the kind Blaine was feeling. He suddenly felt a hand on his lower back and a careful kiss on his shoulder. He took of his jacket and hung it up before turning to Sebastian, tilting up his head to meet the other in a kiss.
Blaine felt a pair of hands slowly sliding down to his ass, and then up under his shirt, slowly stroking his lower back. Blaine couldn't help but feel slightly sick. Was he really doing this? Was he really about to have sex with some person he had been turning down forever? Apparently he was, because this person was slipping his hands down the back of Blaine's underwear. Despite not having felt pain in a while, Blaine suddenly felt it when he felt Sebastian's tongue slipped in his mouth and fingers started digging into the cheeks of his ass. Hot, silent tears started streaming down his face.
Sebastian pulled back and looked at him with a concerned look on his face. Blaine tried to pull him back in, but Sebastian shook his head.
"I'm not going to have sex with you while you cry, Blaine. That just isn't right." Blaine stared at him in disbelief.
"Since when did right and wrong start to bother you. Just fuck me," he spat and almost violently pulled Sebastian back in. The other grabbed Blaine hands and forced him up the wall, staring him straight in the eyes.
"I don't get what the fuck is wrong with you right now, Anderson. You're the hottest piece of ass in this town, but Hummel went and fucked that shit royally and now you're the biggest mess I've ever met. Don't get me wrong - I want you. But not like this. This is not what you need, we both know that, Blaine. I can hold you and all that, but we're not having sex."
Blaine's eyes blurred as the tears streamed down his cheeks. This was so fucking absurd and unbelievable. Why wouldn't Sebastian just shut the fuck up already?
"You are not supposed to give a shit about feelings. That's why I wanted to have sex with you, you son of a bitch. I just want your dick, so shut the fuck up before I get any more angry," Blaine yelled, his whole body suddenly pulsing with anger. Sebastian let go of him and turned away, pulling at his own hair.
"Please," Blaine whispered, feeling a sudden need to feel that anger again. At least with that he wouldn't feel so much like an unfilled shell. It least it could make him feel a little less dead.
"No," Sebastian answered, his back still turned towards Blaine, who let his hands grab onto the white fabric of Sebastian's uniform shirt. There was no reaction from the taller boy, so Blaine decided to start tugging it out of his pants, stepping closer. It felt so odd, because he was slightly slimmer than Kurt and also taller. Very different in his looks and it didn't really do much for Blaine.
"I don't get it," Sebastian said as Blaine started unbuttoning his shirt from behind. "I don't understand how he can ruin you like this in less than two days. Look at you, so fucking desperate all of a sudden. Lifeless and needy."
Blaine's face screwed up in an expression he knew wasn't too attractive. It hurt to hear it said out loud, that he wasn't himself. He buried his nose between Sebastian's shoulder blades and sighed at the smell of the skin exposed to him.
"You will regret this once you stop being to upset," Sebastian continued. Blaine didn't want to hear it, so he started to kiss the skin under his lips slowly. Sebastian sighed and pulled away again and took Blaine's face between his hands.
"You don't want this, Blaine. Just stop, okay? Come." Sebastian dragged Blaine up to his bedroom and threw him on the bed and got up behind him, holding tightly on to the other boy. Blaine's eyes were dry as he fell asleep, his back pressed against Sebastian's chest. It felt wrong, but he couldn't care. At least he felt something.
Sebastian slowly slid Blaine's phone out of his pocket and wrote Kurt a short message.
I hope you're happy. Blaine's completely fucked now, all thanks to your selfish ass. – Sebastian.
This took a little longer than expected, but I had a lot of homework and so, yeah, it drew out.
