A Thousand Snowflakes

Their bed was covered in neatly folded piles of clothes, mostly clothes for the two three-year-olds, some of them matching. On the sofa stood two suitcases, open and half-filled. Summer was in the middle of packing, accurate in doing so and making sure that they would not forget anything. She did not know how long she was packing for; neither she nor Seth had talked about the details. All they had decided was to go to California for the holidays.

They had been living on the east coast for a few years now, and she had accepted the weather and come to care less about being pale. But through the years, Summer had always been very happy about visiting her home town in sunny California. She missed the sun, although she had come to love the different seasons they now had. She had not understood Seth's love for winter in the beginning, but the season grew on her. She was happy that winter only lasted a few months but enjoyed playing in the snow with her children or taking long walks together with Seth. There was something special about coming back to the California sun though.

"Sum, do you need any help?" Seth entered the bedroom, with a neutral look on his face. Summer was not used to Seth's offerings to help these days; she was not used to talking much with him at all. But the last days had been different. Seth had stayed in the house more than usual and actually helped take care of the twins.

Summer placed another pile of clothes in one of the suitcases. "I'm good." Noticing the harshness in her words, she gently offered a smile. "I mean, if you want to you can make the twins a snack."

Seth could not help but feel the guilt build up in him. Lately, she had not been very used to his help around the house, or with anything. He walked up to her and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, giving her a thankful smile. "Thank you. For everything." He did not need to say more. The two of them knew each other too well; emotions rarely had to be said out load. A kiss, a touch or a look in the other's eyes was enough to know what the other was feeling. So therefore, Summer did not say anything back, just gave him a light kiss back. Saying more than words ever could.


The airport was crowded and Summer held Isaac and Isabelle close to her as Seth went to get their bags. Summer had always been very protective of her children but the last months had for obvious reasons been very hard, fear rising as there were potential dangers everywhere. And therefore Summer was very keen on getting out of the crowd.

Relived as Seth appeared with their luggage, the foursome went for the exit where a cab was waiting.

The twins seemed excited to finally come see their grandparents, and were very eager to get to the Cohen house. Seth and Summer shared more nervous and anxious feelings though. This was their first time back without Lina, and it was also the first time either of them would have to spend time with other people than their family of four since the accident. For weeks they both had lived isolated, even though Summer has spent time outside of the house with the twins. Neither of them had been talking to friends, at least not more than a few words to answer a phone call. It was too hard to be a part of the world again, be what they used to.

As the car stopped outside the Cohen house, a place where they had so many memories, Summer offered her hand to Seth. She gave him a reassuring squeeze, as much for herself as for her husband. Both of them felt more connected than they had done for weeks, knowing that this was as hard for both of them. Deep down though, they knew that sooner or later they would have to face the world. They had two children left to think about, and had to be strong for them no matter how much it hurt to have two children left. Meaning one was gone.

For this, they had to stick together.

The moment the cab drove away, leaving four people with their bags on the driveway, Sandy and Kirsten rushed out the front door of the Cohen house. "Hi!" Both of them had big smiles on their faces and went to pick up a child each. Isaac, in Kirsten's arms, hugged her tightly and Isabelle was laughing as Sandy gave her a tickle attack.

Seth made a small smile as he watched his children being so happy. Isabelle had a wonderful laugh and even though it sometimes hurt to be reminded of a daughter's laugh, he could not help but feel in love with her. "Mom, dad," he said while picking up their bags and carrying them inside of his childhood home.

Summer let out a sigh as she felt relieved that she at least had made her children happy by coming here, and quickly followed her husband inside after giving her parents-in-law a smile. She had to swallow the lump in her throat as she realized that it had already started. She had begun to let go, let the wall she had been building since the accident break. She would not have anything to keep her occupied here, and the twins would not depend on her when they had their grandparents by their side. This made her vulnerable again, and dependent on her husband. For the last months she had been strong, for all of them. But now, she was not sure that she would be able to anymore.

Feeling like a small teenage girl again, Summer went to stand by Seth's side, fighting the urge to slip her fingers through his. Sandy and Kirsten also entered the house, now both Isaac and Isabelle in Sandy's arms. Kirsten offered her son and her daughter-in-law a loving smile and went to give them each a big hug. "I am so glad that you're here."

"We're happy to be here," Summer softly said, putting a smile on her face even though the sadness in her voice could not be missed. She hugged Kirsten back and as she turned to give her son a hug, Sandy wrapped Summer in a tight embrace. Summer had only hugged Sandy a few times and it felt a little weird having his arms around her, her head to his chest, but it made her feel comforted. She smiled while pulling away, seeing Isaac lift his arms up for her, a sigh for pick me up. Isaac was a sensitive boy, and he was very dependent on Summer. Lifting him up, she figured that these last few weeks had not helped him become more independent as Summer had been by their side pretty much all the time. She needed to be close to them though, and hugged her son tight to her chest.

"We guessed that you would be hungry from the flight so we prepared lunch," Kirsten said and motioned for the kitchen. Isabelle grabbed her hand and they walked toward the kitchen, Sandy following with Seth and Summer, Isaac in her arms.

Seth placed a hand on Summer's lower back, and as she gave him a sad smile she noticed how glassy his eyes were. Neither of them knew what this trip would mean to them, but they knew one thing. They were both scared, scared of having to deal with their emotions, something they until now had been able to postpone.


Later that night, after a day of catching up with Sandy and Kirsten, the twins were in bed, exhausted from the day. Summer and Kirsten sat by the pool with a glass of wine while Sandy and Seth had gone to visit Ryan.

"I have to say again, Summer, that I am so glad that you came," Kirsten said while they both were watching the pool.

Summer could not help but let a smile cross her lips. She was grateful that Seth's parents cared so much about them, and was in one way happy to be with them again. She had missed them and she surely had missed being able to sit outside in the evening. "Thank you, Kirsten."

"I know the last couple of weeks have been very hard, but we would love to help if there's anything we can do." Kirsten could not even imagine what her son and daughter-in-law were going through. Only thinking about it made her eyed tear up, and she felt the frustration as she knew that there was nothing she could do to take their pain away. "I want you to know that."

Summer again offered a smile, this time a much weaker one, and pushed her knees up to her chin. The pain she felt as she was forced to think about her baby girl was indescribable and unbearable. "God," she uttered with a trembled sigh.

Kirsten sadly watched as the younger woman fell apart, and after opening her mouth several times she realized that there was nothing she could say. Not for this. Instead she moved to sit beside Summer, carefully pulling her to her chest. Silent tears rolled down Summer's cheeks and she blinked hard to make her vision clearer.

Kirsten had not met either Seth or Summer since the funeral, but knew that Summer had been trying to be strong through all this. She was not one to show weakness and Kirsten knew her son's relationship with Summer well enough to know that Summer was the stronger one of them. And since Seth had not even answered his phone since it happened, but Summer had, always protecting and defending her husband, she knew that Summer also through this had been the strong one. The one to hold everything together as much as she could.

A few tears fell from Kirsten's eyes as she sat there with Summer, gently rocking her as the small brunettes tears never seemed to end.


Seth sat in Ryan's living room, in the house that his brother himself had designed. Ryan had found that his life was far better than he ever had let himself dream. He had a career as an architect, a job that he loved, and had finally settled down in this house together with Marissa Cooper, the love of his life. The two had not yet gotten married and started a family, but they were engaged and happy with that.

Both Ryan and Marissa had been a big part of their friends' life, and Seth and Summer's children had been very special to them. Marissa would always have presents for them and Ryan would always give them loads of attention. The last months had been different though, as no one was let in by Seth and Summer and no one either had dared to push them. Seth and Summer's children had naturally been special to all of them, the Cohen's, Ryan, Marissa and Summer's dad. And the death of Lina had affected everyone. She had been the first baby Cohen, and she had been so precious. They had all been at the hospital when she was born, and they had all had a special place in their hearts for little Lina Elizabeth Cohen.

As Seth had made a call just this morning to let his parents know that they were coming, Marissa had not been able to fly back from a business trip to New York, and Ryan had been up to his head with work the entire day. He was glad that his brother and sister-in-law had finally decided to come home though, and had insisted that they would meet as he came home from work. Sandy had suggested that himself and Seth would come over, leaving his wife together with Summer and the twins, giving them a chance to talk. And here they were, Sandy and his two sons, in the middle of Ryan's living room.

Ryan had been annoyed at Seth many times the last few weeks, thinking that he at least could answer his calls. But seeing Seth again, he felt ashamed for what he had been thinking and feeling. His always rambling brother looked different. He looked thinner, paler and he almost did not talk at all. He looked beyond miserable, and it scared Ryan. Ryan had a big experience with depressed Seth – mostly Seth depressed and in love with Summer – but this was different. This was not depressed Seth chasing the girl of his dreams, this was Seth broken and defeated.


Hi everyone! Lately I have been watching som OC episodes and felt like writing again, hence the updating of this story and "Fix Me". Don't know if anyone still reads SS stories here, but if you are please let me know! I would love some reviews!