Okay, I didn't get as far as I wanted to get in the last chapter, and pretty much just had it at a week like a normal episode. Meh, that's the way writing goes sometimes. I'll try to cover as much as I can to get through The Sue Sylvester Shuffle. My only worry with theses is that I want to keep the word count around 10,000 because many of you readers will access this from tablets and smartphones, so I don't want to overload your screen (the iPhone 3GS has a really long scroll bar with my stories, so I know).
So, here we go!
Songs:
U, S.E.S. (SM Town, Korea), (Dylan/Azimio/Janet)
Tightrope, Janelle Monaé (Bad Boy Records), (Dave/Azimio w/ND & Titans)
Into the Fire
This has got to be the longest day EVER! Dave thought to himself as he got out of the shower and put on his robe. He didn't spend the day with Dylan and instead told his parents about the week he'd had, minus the parts about Dylan being there the whole time. They had asked if his dreams were part of why he was doing this, and in addition to nodding he told them that Dylan would have been both horrified and disgusted with how he'd turned into one of the monsters that broke apart their families.
When he got to his room he slinked (yes, slinked) off the robe and rummaged through his closet to find his lounge sweats and almost fell into it when he looked through the window at Dylan looking in, his eyes wide and licking his lips.
Wow! Those spycam videos Janet and the Cheerios took can't hold a candle to this! Dylan thought as he silently laughed.
Jackass! How'd you to that? Dave shot back, not bothering to cover himself.
I can be ninja-like when I want to be. And c'mon, this is a great view...
Get in here before someone calls the cops! Dave fired back, blushing, as he opened the window, stepped back, and quietly gasped when Dylan jumped and tumbled in silently.
So, mama and papa are asleep, right? And they don't need to wake up at a certain time if we cook?
...Yeah, what's your point? Dave asked as he realizes that if he wanted to, with where Dylan was, he could just, you know, 'pop it in.' Dylan saw this too and just gave it a quick kiss, which shot lightning through Dave's body.
Well, if they're asleep, I'm gonna go turn off their alarm, Dylan said as he got up. He heard a protest from Dave, who quickly slipped on his sweats and winced when he still wasn't fully covered.
We have a dog, and Max isn't going to like you. And he's a Tosa Ken, so he'll likely try and give you a few more scars, Dave replied, trying to keep his hot boyfriend intact. Nope, didn't work.
Dylan left the room, went down the hall, pressed his ear to the door, opened it and stalked right in. After a minute he came back out, with Max in his arms, the giant dog licking his face. When Dylan walked back into Dave's room the jock was just stunned.
"I can't believe you just did that!" Dave whispered his exclamation. "And Max, you were such a good boy," he says as Dylan sits next to Dave on the bed and releases Max, who lays across the two teens, enjoying the scritching that they give him.
"I was technically in the Air Force for two and a half years, and 'went' to West Point. You think they just teach us salutes, rulebooks, and how to demand to act like jerks?" Dylan shot back, matching Dave's volume with a smirk.
"I keep forgetting, even though you look like a GOD in uniform," Dave replies, giggling as Max licks his side.
Dylan takes Max's face and says mushily "Max, you be a good boy and stay here. Davy and I have to go get stuff off the porch."
"We do?"
"Yep, let's go!"
Max trots to the doorway and watches the two teens silently (well, Dylan's silent, despite being 215 pounds). The two quietly unlock the front door, open it, and pull in a giant, thin box and two larger, bulkier boxes. They work quickly as it's snowing and the air's below freezing.
What are these? Dave asks as he follows Dylan the best he can in the low light. He slightly stubs his toe and bites his lip to keep from grunting.
A new TV, multimedia center, PS3, Wii, Xbox, and a PVR. The DVR from Time Warner's a pain in the ass to upgrade, so... Dylan replied as he set everything just where he wanted it.
And the other box? Memory lane or something mushy?
Bingo!
I see. Cool, Dave finishes as he feels and smells Dylan move past him and grab his free hand. Dave notices that he now has a duffel bag over his right shoulder.
Let's go back upstairs. It's almost midnight, Dylan says as he shoos Max back to the room and pulling Dave behind him.
Dave isn't sure what to do. It's not that he's having second thoughts, but he honestly doesn't know how his parents will react. He was forced to control his reaction, and had almost a week to enjoy the gift of Dylan being not only being alive, but wanting to be with him. And so what if he got slusheed when he got back to school and came out, or even joined the New Directions - if they let him -, what's the worst that can happen? Right here, holding his hand and instantly befriending his dog, was proof that it could be survived. He was proof that it could be overcome, along with his parents.
Once back in his room Dave stood in amazement when Dylan began to strip, right there in front of him. He stood there for a few minutes with a pair of sweats over his shoulder, letting Dave take in the sight. It's only fair, Dylan told him. Once again Dave was partially uncovered by his sweats, and he tore his eyes from what, to him, was perfection. He didn't see Dylan frown as he pulled his sweats on and plopped into Dave's bed, patting it to get Dave in as well. Once settled Dylan beckoned Max to join them at the foot of the bed, against the wall.
"We're pretty tall Max, so you're in the safest there. And don't be afraid to nip at me if we accidently kick you off," Dylan said as he saw a playful glint in Dave's eyes.
"I wanna take a picture!" Dave excitedly and nervously said, watching Dylan nod and smile. He took out his phone, got it positioned just right, and snapped a picture. Both boys reviewed it and nodded in agreement. Dave opened up his FaceBook app, uploaded the new picture, changed his profile information to 'interested in men' and added a quip about being in a relationship. "Dylan, are you on FB?"
"Yeah, I'll friend you," he replies as he takes the phone and asks for his. "I'm also on Twitter, believe it or not."
"Well, I'm not," Dave replies as he hands Dylan his phone and sets his head on the slightly furry chest. Your pecs feel like solid, warm pillows Dylan, Dave says as he turns to lay on his side and nuzzles into Dylan's neck. "I guess I can make an account for Twitter. Not that we actually need it," Dave replied as Dylan finished with FaceBook. He showed that the two were now friends and even showed that he was about to confirm they were in a relationship. Dave took his phone and hit 'confirm.'
"You sure you want to go through with this?" Dylan said as he turned his phone off. "You've gone from being in the closet to dating me in a week, although the dreams..."
"I... want to be with you. I always have," Dave whispered. "I know that I messed up and hurt a lot of people who didn't deserve it, but... I just didn't want to... have anyone close enough to be hurt, when they left," he finished as he wrapped his arms around his new-old boyfriend, shaking with the tears he was trying to fight. "And I've never cried this much before."
Wrapping his arms around Dave, Dylan replied "Davy, nothing, in the entire 'Verse, will keep me away from you again, except you." He gives a slight squeeze and then moves his right hand to Dave's face, just softly touching him. "Let's get some rest. We have a long, emotional day ahead."
"I never want you to leave. Never," Dave whimpers as he closes his eyes, feeling more comfortable and safe than he can remember.
...
At five in the morning Dave and Dylan got up and did their normal morning routine, but together. Dave watched in amazement, again, but this time at him using an ancient single-blade razor. Even without a mirror Dylan was able to get a perfect, clean shave without any nicks. He was nervous at having Dylan shave him, but gave in to his heart. He forced himself to be still while Dylan ran his hands around his face, at times close enough to smell his minty breath.
How's your breath always smell like tea and mint?
Good hygiene and I don't really have any teeth.
Really, no teeth?
Nah. They really messed up my jaw, and as the last of my teeth came in they hurt and were super-off. They had to take all of them out and went with implants.
Ahh. That would do it.
"There!" Dylan whispered as he wiped Dave's face one last time. "Not a single nick!"
"That's incredible!" Dave remarked as he checked himself in the mirror. His face looked better, there wasn't a trace of stubble, and as he ran his hands over his face, it was smooth and a bit moist, like he had moisturized with something. And he almost smelled like the jacket of Dylan's he found with the plaque. The two finished dressing and went downstairs to start their surprise Christmas.
They set up the new entertainment center and somehow managed to pull the old setup into the garage without a sound, and then started on preparing dinner while making breakfast.
No matter what, they're always up by 7:30, Dave informs Dylan as they make sure nothing gives a surprise 'pop' or 'splat.' Despite not liking salty foods, Dave agreed to let Dylan make Phở for breakfast. It seemed right and would be otherwise healthy. And right on cue, at 7:30, Paul and Mary came into the kitchen and just walked right past their sons, still in a sleepy haze.
"I thought we were the ones up all night, mama and papa," Dylan said as he set the soup wok in the center of the table and served up everyone's bowls. When Dave took his bowl and sat next to Dylan, in front of the window, Paul and Mary took a slurp of their soup, set the spoon down, and just stared at the two boys. After about five minutes, assured that they were indeed both awake and not under the effects of Ambien and Valium, finally spoke.
"Dyl... Dylan?" Mary said first. "Is... is that really you?"
"But... this can't..." Paul stammered out as he reached to touch Dylan's hand, seeing that the other was attached to Dave's other hand.
"I'm too stubborn even for death papa, mama," as Dylan looked at Paul, took his hand, and looked to Mary, holding the joined hands up.
"But, how..?" Mary whispered.
"From what Jun told me - that was my nurse in Chicago -, right when I got to the morgue, I started to twitch. If I hadn't started to get goose bumps, I'd still be dead," Dylan said as he squeezed Paul's hand, released Dave's, and took Mary's. The ME there grabbed my wrist and just said 'don't play this sick joke again guys. Take him back to his room.'
"You're, you're... healthy!" Paul said as he pulled Dylan to his feet and hugged him, followed by Mary. "I can't believe you're here! How long have you -"
"About three and a half years ago. We didn't know you were here too, but when I learned about..." Dylan trailed off. He pushed them back slightly and looked in their eyes, speaking with them. "But that's over now. We're a family again, and I won't let any of that... bullshit, happen again."
Instinctively Mary slapped Dylan and instantly froze in shock."I'm, I'm sorry..." she trailed as Dylan lightly cupped her hands and drew her into a hug.
"It's okay, I get it mama," he says as Paul and Dave smile. "Let's finish our Phở before it gets cold, and you two can go into the living room and see what I've been up to."
"And had to give up," Dave adds. "And to answer any more questions, we've been seeing each other since Monday, he helped set up the apologies with Rachel and Kurt's families, and he's the one who gave me the hickeys you've politely ignoring. Today was supposed to be I'm alive, well, gay, and here to date Dave day."
And to show their connection was back, Dave and Dylan began to just toss dirty words between each other, smirking and trying not to laugh. Paul and Mary just smiled and finished eating. They were promptly moved out of the kitchen and sat on the couch, behind a full table of tablets, Blu-Ray discs, and picture albums.
The rest of the morning and most of the afternoon consisted of Dave and Dylan cooking in the kitchen, cleaning as they went, with Mary and Paul watching videos of Dylan at various points in his journey here. When they got to a recent entry in the video diary the bellowed for Dave and Dylan to sit and watch with them.
"Hey, that's Janet and Z!" Dave shot out. "How'd..?"
"This was just before you serenaded me in that Cairo dream," Dylan replied. It was a video of Dylan, Azimio, and Janet performing U by S.E.S.
[Dylan] Noo goo do na bo da joong yo
ha ji an ha na eui sa rang ah ni gga
Ha ji man nuhn nae ga mam eh deul ji an neun ji
Wi myun ha go muhl uh ji go suh ro
da reun sa ram man na ja go mal ha go
Keu rae do nan shwib geh ppo gi ha ji an neun deh
Ah ggim uhb neun nae mam eul joo ryuh go
Sa rang chat neun dang dang han na ni gga
[All] Hey dude what you gonna do for me
Nae mae ryuk eh dda ra wa
ban hae buh ri go mal gguh ya
Hey dude what you gonna do for me
Ah ni ra go mal hae do nuh do won
ha jan ha nal jung mal sok ee ji ma
[Azimio] Na bo da duh muht jin keu ruhn yuh ja
han buhn ki ppi ki ppi cha ja bwa
Na chuh ruhm nal ma da sae rob ji neun an jan ha
Sang nyang ha go da juhng ha go ddae ron
sa rang ah peh soo joob geh do byun ha go
Ka ggeum eun nuh moo naeng juhng ha gin ha ji man
Nuh moo bba reun suhn taek ee him deul myun
Sa rang mo ah chun chun hee da ga wa
[All] Hey dude what you gonna do for me
Ji neu ggim ee ka teun
na nuh eui ma eum eul yuhl uh bwa
Hey dude what you gonna do for me
Nae ma buh beh kuhl rin nuh bba jyuh
buh ril gguh ya nal jung mal sok ee ji ma
[Janet] Hey, you, hey yea yea yea, hey yeah...
What you gonna do
Hey, you, hey yea yea yea, hey you...
What you gonna do
[All] Nuh moo bba reun suhn taek ee him deul myun
Sa rang mo ah chun chun hee da ga wa
Haeng bok ki bbeum hon ja hal soo uhb suh
Ee jen nae geh da ga wa
[Janet in Lead] Hey dude what you gonna do for me
Nae mae ryuk eh dda ra wa
ban hae buh ri go mal gguh ya
Hey dude what you gonna do for me
Ah ni ra go mal hae do nuh do won
ha jan ha nal jung mal sok ee ji ma
Hey dude what you gonna do for me
Ji neu ggim ee ka teun
na nuh eui ma eum eul yuhl uh bwa
Hey dude what you gonna do for me
Nae ma buh beh kuhl rin nuh bba jyuh
buh ril gguh ya nal jung mal sok ee ji ma
At the end everyone's laughing, especially Dave. The family keeps looking at the TV then to Dylan. Finally, Dave recovers enough to speak.
"I can not believe you got Z to do that!"
"It was for you, of course he agreed to do it," Dylan replies, seeing the amused pride in Dave's eyes.
"Well, it doesn't look like dying slowed you down at all Dylan," Paul says, still snickering.
"You've gotten much better sweetie," Mary says as she hugs her other son.
"Thanks papa, mama," Dylan replies as he stands up. "Just a few more things in the kitchen. Dinner should be ready in about two hours." He disappears into the kitchen, and when out of sight of Dave he runs up the stairs. Paul and Mary just look at each other with a puzzled look, then begin looking through the photo albums. Dave comes back down and places two presents under the tree, then sits down to bond with his parents.
When the video diary finishes twenty minutes later Dylan re-enters the living room, laying against the armrest of the couch. He doesn't even have to ask as Dave slides under his legs and holds them. At first Paul was going to protest this, but seeing that both of his sons were happy and comfortable he let his protests slide.
"So," Paul starts, "you were in the Air Force Officer's program Dylan? That takes a lot of guts and discipline."
"It did. I didn't even know they had student teaching positions, but I got one. Twice."
"Adam and Diane must have been proud of you Dylan," Mary said as she pointed out a picture of Dylan with a group of West Point cadets.
"Enough to give me a really expensive expansion to my room, which is the basement, but I haven't seen them yet this year. Unless you count FaceTime," Dylan replies.
"That's too bad," Paul replies just before Dylan's phone goes off.
"Speak of the devils," he says as he answers it. "Merry Christmas. You'll never guess where I'm at," he replies in Mandarin.
"I'm not sure I want to know, but you didn't answer the landline last night," Adam says, then adds "Well, it went to your mobile. What's going on?"
"That depends. Is it safe to speak English, or French?"
"Of course. It's early enough, and we have a secure SIM," Diane replies.
Dylan puts the phone on speaker, hands it to Dave indicating it's now a family call, and points to Paul to speak.
"Adam? Long time no speak," Paul says nervously.
"... Paul..? Is that you?" Adam asks.
"And Mary. It's good to hear you again."
"Oh... oh my God!" Diane says, almost weeping.
"Dylan, how in the hell did this happen? When did they get there?"
"This is where they moved to. I found out during the Sadie Hawkins I went to with Janet."
"... Then why didn't you tell us? We could have done this sooner!" Adam spat out, obviously annoyed that he'd been lied to.
"Because I wasn't ready yet Uncle," Dave chimed in. He continued with a brief "I became a bullying homophobe closet-case, and drove the only out kid to a private academy."
"... Dave? You sound so different," Adam replied. There was a loud chime that came through the line and a faint voice.
"I'll work on that, but MSI is dead-set to not have any of their R&D offices anywhere but Taiwan. You owe me for even trying," Dylan once again replies in Mandarin as he takes the phone and hangs up. He looks at the rest of his family and explains "They're supposed to be with a French company that brings tech companies into China to make their circuit boards there or Hong Kong. That chime means that StarTel's about to be able to tap the line or trace it."
Everyone just nods as if it happens every day in their part of the Mid-West. They talk for a few minutes before Dave taps Dylan's legs and grabs the two items he just placed under the tree. He takes his seat again and hands them to Dylan. He opens the shirt first, which makes him smile. He gives Dave a chaste kiss for that. When he opens the pendant, he's speechless. This is the one I've been dreaming about babe...
"I know, I think that's why I was drawn to it."
Dylan puts it on, then reaches behind the couch and pulls a box of his own. "These are the right presents for a fifteenth anniversary, right?" he says jokingly. Mary and Paul just smile at each other.
Dave opens his present and his jaw drops. It's an aquamarine and sapphire Yin/Yang pendant with a silver backing. Engraved on the back it says "One heart, one soul" in Japanese. Dave puts it on and cups Dylan's face with his hands, a couple tears escaping down his cheeks.
"This must have cost a fortune. You didn't have to buy this."
"I made it. You're definitely worth the time," Dylan smiles as he replies, wiping the tears that haven't fallen yet.
After six years of absence and loss, Christmas in the Karofsky household finally looked and felt happy. More than one neighbor did a double-take on the fact that not only was there music coming from the always-quiet-on-Christmas house, but that there were lights and decorations on and around the two story, four bedroom house...
...
I'm not going to like this, Dave thought as he waited in the choir room the first day back to school. Sure you stayed for like, five days at my place, but you're not here.
You'll be fine. This is part of the process, came Dylan's voice as he seemed to be dropping off a note in someone's locker.
How's this sound: 'Please meet me in the choir room b4 classes. I want 2 apologize and spill a secret'?
Sounds good, came the reply.
Thanks. And this iPad's pretty cool.
Told you. Ok, gotta go - zero period.
And with that, Dave was alone again. He was surprised at the response so far. At first he just stayed off FB for a few days, and he made a twitter account and made a post to his Wall. At first he had 6 followers on Twitter: Dylan, of course, along with Finn, Kurt, Janet, Azimio, and Blaine. In a few hours Rachel, Puck, Mike, and Tina followed too. He had lost friends on FB: Greyson, Calhune, Balefor, some guy in Kansas, and some chick in Naples Italy. Those first three would be an issue since they were on the football team.
Fortunately Rachel was the first one in the choir room, followed by Mike and Artie. They timidly talked about their Christmas and how Coach Sylvester rigged the secret Santa and destroyed the choir room before vacation. When Sam and Quinn came in there was almost a fight before the first arrivals explained his presence. There was another near-fight when Jamio came in. When the entire club was present, including Mr. Schue, Dave got up and faced them. He was calm and even waited for outbursts to be quelled by Rachel, Finn (which pissed Quinn off for some reason), or Mr. Schue, then he got noticeably uncomfortable.
"Okay, so let's assume we accept your apology but don't forgive you," Sam said. "Why are you doing this and what's going to keep you from doing that stuff to us again? Other than me kicking your ass a second time."
"I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm a... different person now," Dave replied.
"Right, so the fact that you stopped up from being slusheed once means you're different?" Mercedes spat out, more annoyed than seriously upset.
"Can I please tell you the 'secret' part of my apologizing to you?" Dave says directly to Mercedes. "Unless you've talked to Kurt and he's told you already."
"Wait a minute, why would Kurt be telling a secret of yours?" Quinn asked as she looked to Rachel and Finn, who looked like they were sharing a secret.
"Wait, you didn't pull a 'Red Dragon' and spill secrets while you paralyzed him and made him eat his own brain, did you?" Santana said in her usual bitchy fashion.
"You're seriously demented Lopez," Dave said as he looked from her to Brittany. After getting a mental hug from Dylan, he spit out "I'm gay." After the shock died down, he continued. "I'll explain why I was such an asshole to Kurt if you actually want to hear my life story - or you can ask Rachel or Finn. I'm not going to be a bully to you guys, and I don't hate Glee club," he says as he hands his plaque to Finn, then stands in front of the group again.
"I'm going to leave now. Finn, you can pass that around, just get it back to me during practice, okay?" Finn nods as Dave leaves the choir room, catching Mr. Schue's approving nod. Azimio and Janet follow and pat Dave on the back as they walk down a different hallway. As Dave walks off to his first class everyone in the hallways parts to let him pass. He doesn't feel like he's oozing the fear he used to, but word spreads fast around McKinley. Just like Santana's legs he thinks and smiles as he hears Dylan laugh.
Back in the choir room everyone's surprised that Karofsky had a Show Choir plaque, much less a Nationals one.
"Mr. Schue, you can't buy these, can you?" Lauren said as she flipped it back and forth and concluded that, indeed, this was a real one.
"No, but let's see... 2004," Mr. Schue says as he looks through a file cabinet. Mercedes is busy texting, so they think, and Brittany is just looking at the plaque, wondering why someone has an old one laying around.
"Hey guys," Mercedes says loudly to get everyone's attention. "According to the Amateur Show Choir website, the 2004 National winners were from an elementary school in Ann Harbor Michigan, with Dylan Howard and... David Karofsky as leads," she says and almost gasps out the second name. "They won and put Vocal Adrenaline in fourth place. The year before they were third with Vocal Adrenaline in second."
"Hold up a minute," Santana says as she sits down again. "Why would he harass us if he's the only other one in this school who's won a Nationals title?"
"Wait, who's here that's won a Nationals title?" Mike asks as he squeezes Tina's hand.
"Mr. Schue did Baby," she replies. "In 1993."
Through this, Mr. Schue thinks he's put the pieces together. "Finn, Rachel, will Dave let you tell us what you know? Did something happen to him to make him turn into a bully?"
Rachel begins to tear up, so Finn speaks for her. "It really is a long story Mr. Schue. To make it short," he pauses and eyes everyone to shut up. "Dave didn't put himself into a closet until his first 'boyfriend' was beaten and..." he whispers 'raped' "to death in front of him by the high school football and hockey teams. Then again when their families decided to pull the plugs a few months later. They moved here because a bunch of whackos pipe-bombed their houses."
Puck, Quinn, Santana, and Mercedes instantly stop what they're doing, absolutely stunned. Artie goes into shock and almost runs into the piano, stopped only by a still attentive Brad. Brittany begins to tear up and begins to hug Lauren, who holds her back. Sam hangs his head down in shame, and Tina's makeup is streaked now while she cries into Mike's arms.
"We, uh," Rachel tries to speak, finds her voice again, and continues, "knew before Christmas, " she looks to Finn, who nods. "We - Dave, Dylan, Daddies and I, didn't want to ruin anyone else's Christmas. And neither did Kurt."
"Wait, what does Kurt have to do with what just happened?" Mr. Schue asks with a puzzled look on his face.
"He came to our house and apologized to the whole family," Finn says while smiling to the rest of the club. "His boyfriend even - "
" - Wait, he has a boyfriend before Kurt?" Puck shot out.
"The one who they thought was dead," Rachel says, pointing to the plaque. "They won that about two months before they were attacked. Finn and Kurt tell me he's paying for the tuition at Dalton."
"Huh," Lauren lets out. "In a Suzy Pepper way that makes sense."
"Well, bombshell or not, we have to get ready for Regionals," Mr. Schue says, pointing to the clock. "Don't be late for any of your classes!" he says as the bell for first period rings.
...
"Seriously? Oh my Gawd that's awesome Dylan!" Sunshine says as she takes a sandwich from him. She sat through a twenty minute conversation that should've taken at least four hours, but was able keep up. I can't believe his Filipino's better than mine. He's not even Pacific Islander!
"Yep! There's one non-twink that's out and I'm dating him!" he smirks as he opens his bean and soyrizo burrito. The serrano's are already burning Sunshine's nose.
"Dude, why do you make your food so freakin' hot?" she asks as she wipes her eyes. "You're not going to find a food cart anywhere near Asia that's hotter than that!"
"Just getting prepared to find a good spot with Poi Poi and the loss of taste if I ever get to try fugu," he replies with a deadpan expression, not flushing, despite chewing something that can be used as pepper spray.
"God you're a freak," she playfully says as she starts eating her lunch. Gooslby walks by and eyes them defensively, then continues on his way.
"Maybe you should break his nose again?" Sunshine says just before taking a bite of her sandwich. Man I love avocados!
"Nah, then we couldn't get our plan to work. By the middle of next semester, you'll be a free girl," he sneers as he takes a sip of his orange Steaz. He catches the look of fear in his friend's eyes.
"Actually, I don't want you do to it. If you get caught..." her voice trails off as she holds her stomach. That's gotten a lot worse, despite my holistic treatments Dylan thinks.
"Suns, I won't get caught, I promise!"
"No! Just because he's cheating and making me and my mom miserable, doesn't mean we can stoop to his level! Just, please?" she pleads.
"...Fine. But if he makes you cry again, I'm turning him into Dustina, the ugliest woman in Allen County!" he says casually, as if threatening to force a sex change on someone was common practice. She just smirks and gives him a quick hug. They begin to look at all the pictures taken since Christmas with Dave and the family. It's the first time they've laughed together and both been truly happy this year.
...
Almost ready. So far no one's said anything, Dave thinks as he finishes dressing out for practice. He rechecks his cleats when he hears someone stop behind him.
"This is the boys locker room Karofsky, so why're you here?" Greyson sneers as he high-fives Calhune and Balefor.
Turning around Dave stares the trio down and replies "Sorry to disappoint, but I've already got a boyfriend, and unlike you, he's worth looking at, douche," as he walks off to hit the field.
"Yep, he's a fag alright!" Balefor yelps, getting the attention of Puck and Mike. They nod to Dave, who nods back.
Coming to their side of the lockers, Puck and Mike get in the trio's face with Puck saying "Hey, pillow-biters, lay off. It takes a real man to apologize for being a douche, and I don't see any of you doing that."
"Yeah," Mike adds. "Besides, I'd rather be gay than an asshole like you."
Calhune gets in Mikes face, who doesn't flinch. "Who're you calling an asshole Wang-Chun?"
"Enough of this fighting guys!" Beiste bellows. What the hell is it this time?
"It's cool Coach," Puck says, inches from Greyson's face."Just talking some sense into some queer-bashing douches." He and Mike leave the locker room behind Azimio, Finn, and Artie. Sam walks up to the three trouble-makers and Beiste.
"They're totally not cool with Dave being gay. I don't know why it matters, it's not like he's gonna stop playing well," Sam says as he walks off, knowing this will instantly put those douchebags in the shit house.
"It's NOT COOL Co-" Greyson starts.
"Then you're going to fake it or I'll throw your asses off the team!" she shouts down their protests. "I'm Mother Freakin' Nature here and I WILL hit your asses with lightning if you bitch about the clouds!" she finishes by shoving a finger at the players and storms off to the field. With confused looks the three take their marks on the field for what will be the strangest practice they've had, considering all the other players keep eyeing them like the three banged all their girlfriends.
That week's game goes off without much of a hitch. Balefor fumbles a block which the other team scores a touchdown off of. The Titans still win 34-22. Dave and Dylan celebrate with a dinner at Breadstix, triple-dating with Quam (Quinn/Sam) and Artney (Artie/Brittany). When Dylosfky sees Quinn going for her purse when the check comes, Dave snags the tab and pays for dinner.
The next week things are easier for Dave and the Titans, other than the 'Triad of Douche' not pulling their weight. They still win 41-28, but the rest of the team's more exhausted than normal. Coach Beiste lays into the whole team. Dave attends the last two rehearsals of glee club that week along with Janet.
The Titans are almost back to normal until the Triad finds out about Dave singing a modern cover of When I'm Gone by The Rat Pack. During a huddle before the last play of the game, when Finn's going on about how much he appreciates what they've done this season, Greyson cuts it off with his big mouth.
"Maybe we can celebrate with a big song and dance!" he mockingly says while flipping the bird.
"Shut it before I break your face Greyson," Dave snarls back.
"Not a chance RuPaul," Greyson shoots back.
"Pike it Greyson or I'll bench your ass until next season!" Finn sneers, shocking Puck and Sam.
"Whatever Homo-Headliner."
"Hey Greyson, with all those gay jokes, you can't even come to school with hickeys," Finn fires back.
"Yeah," Dave adds. "I mean, look at these just from macking!" he smirks as he shows a large one on the back of his neck.
"Those're some big guys. I hope they don't get a leg up on us," Balefor sneers as he walks out of the huddle.
When the ball's snapped, the Triad moves away from the offensive line, leaving Azimio to fall back to assist Dave in keeping Finn clear. Finn makes the pass, but Dave and Azimio are slammed into each other, with Dave almost getting a gnarly gash on his left cheek. Sam runs the ball for another TD and increases their lead to 23-14.
As Coach Beiste storms into the locker room she throws her clipboard into a wall, shattering the tile it hits. Everyone stops bickering to stare at her.
"What the HELL happened out there?" she screams, looking Greyson, Balefor, and Calhune square in the eyes.
"The freaking 'Triad of Douche' sucks ass that's what's wrong Coach!" Finn shouts, throwing his helmet.
"Hey you glee kids are serious pussy's that's what's wrong!" Calhune spits out.
"We're in glee club, so what?" Finn replies in frustration.
"It's not a problem dude," Dave replies as he takes a threatening step toward Calhune.
"Get off our asses faggot!" Balefor screeches as he jumps away.
"I'd turn straight before even thinking of touching you three pieces of garbage!" Dave screams as he crosses to the 'glee' side of the benches.
"Enough, all of you!" Beiste bellows. "You need to work as a team to win the Championship Conference. The team we're playing's good, almost better than us."
"I, WON'T, play with them on the team," Greyson points to the gleeks and walks off.
"Stop you're bitching you sissy-babies!" Beiste yells as the team walks off in two different groups. Finn kicks a chair, which lands in Dave's way, so he shoves it into Greyson, who trips over it. His buddies try to jump Dave, but the gleeks just stare them down.
"Dude, this' bad," Sam says as he pulls off his football gear.
"At least we don't have Tanaka here anymore. I wouldn't put it past him to actually beat us," Azimio says as he comes to their side.
"Hey, aren't you on the wrong side?" Artie asks as Finn pulls him up to pull the leggings off.
"Nope. Anyone who doesn't want my 'bro around, doesn't get me. And right now, we're on your side."
"Thanks Azimio," Mike says coolly, not sure if he can trust this guy.
"Call me 'Z' Mike," Azimio replies with a genuine smile.
"So, what are we gonna do about this?" Dave asks, no longer embarrassed about the fact he's not 'Men's Fitness' cover-dude material or hairy. He starts changing out.
"Dude, second/third base and you have marks like that?" Sam exclaims, seeing the rake marks and hickeys all over Dave's shoulders and back.
"What can I say, I'm a stud," Dave smirks as he grabs a towel and heads to the showers. The rest of the guys hurry to catch up and get the hell out. Puck decides to ask Azimio just how far he's gotten with Janet, since she shut him down faster than a full-service strip club.
"Hey Z, how far you get with Janet?"
Azimio just raises his eyebrows, smirks, and walks to the showers. Puck sneaks a look at Z's back and sees porno-grade rake marks.
Daaammmnnn, Puck thinks as he ponders whether or not he needs to change strategies with the ladies...
...
As Artie's putting his books away before glee rehearsals, he feels a little odd, like he's being followed. A quick glance around shows no one else in the hallway, so he just shakes it off and begins wheeling himself back to the choir room. He's stopped by all the non-glee members of the football team, minus DZ.
"So... what's up guys? What're the slushees for?" Artie asks, knowing it's likely his turn.
"So, I checked my list of Homo-Explosion members, and you're the only one I haven't slusheed yet," Greyson says as he and the others force the wheelchair-bound boy into an alcove.
"Isn't it a little wrong to do this to a disabled person?" Artie asks, hoping these guys have some decency.
"Equal Opportunities and Education dude," Balefor responds as he throws the first slushee. After the last slushee the boys run down the hallway. Artie, now dripping wet and freezing, tries to wheel himself to the choir room. He bumps into DZ and Janet, who are talking something about a double-date. Janet's the first to go over to him.
"Jesus Artie, who did this?" she says as she pulls out a towel and starts to wipe him off.
"Was it Greyson?" Dave asks chokingly. When Artie nods he tries to run down the hallway before Azimio grabs his arm.
"Dude, we both know that won't work," he says as he looks at the mess that is Artie and his wheelchair. "Dude, should we clean your chair, you know, so it won't like just be a chair?"
"That'd be nice, but I kinda need it right now," Artie replies, starting to shiver as he can't really clean his nethers at the moment.
"No you don't," Dave says as he takes the backpack off the handles and shoulders it, then picks up Artie like a little brother. "Z, clean up Artie's chair. Janet, I assume you know locker combos?" When she nods he adds "Grab my red bag and bring it to the choir room." She nods and runs off.
"Thanks Karofsky, but this is a bit strange," Artie says in utter confusion.
"I'll live it down. And call me Dave. I'm not that douche anymore." Artie nods as his 'ride' marches to the choir room. Everyone stops dead when the pair walk in. Artie waves everyone to stay quiet until he's in a chair.
"Greyson and the other's did this... it's so... cold and... sticky..." Artie shivers out.
"Azimio went to clean the wheelchair and Janet -" Dave's cut off by someone running into the room.
"- Janet ran and got a bag of nursing home stuff," she says as she hands it to Dave. "Seriously, do you even use that in the nursing homes you snag them from?" she asks as Dave motions for Brittany and Santana help him at least clean Artie's face and hair.
"This stops now!" Finn bellows as he waves the other guys over. Just before they get to the door the rest of the football team, minus Azimio, come in.
"Good, home-turf fight," Mike slams out as he puts on his game-face.
"What was that twinkle-toes?" Greyson fires out.
"Put 'em up douchebag, we're gonna kick your asses." Sam seethes out.
"Whatever guppy-mouth," Calhune fires back.
"ENOUGH!" comes Mr. Schue's voice as he pushes past the football team and the gleeks, Coach Beiste behind him.
"Everyone sit down!" she bellows as she stands next to Will, looking at Artie with a puzzled look as he's not in his wheelchair. The gleeks are on the left side near the band, the football players on the right side by the piano.
"Guys, meet the new members of the New Directions!" Will says with no hint of irony. After about thirty seconds of bickering and protests Will waves them silent.
Strando speaks before anyone else gets the chance. "Okay, wait. We have to be in here, sing showtunes, put on wigs, and dance like white Lil' Kim's at a Chastity Ball?" he sneers, hi-fiving some other members.
"Dude, that isn't what glee club does, you moron," Dave spits out with dripping anger, the insult in Japanese.
"Have you even paid attention to what we do in here?" Santana half-shouts. "'Cause as long as it isn't Berry or Frankenteen, it's pretty sexy."
"They don't know what we do, that's why they're here," Will says as he hands the floor to Beiste.
"You'll be in glee club for one week -" she starts and is interrupted as Azimio comes back in with Artie's wheelchair, now with a stack of towels on the back and cushion. He sits next to Janet and Dave and nods to the coach. "No exceptions."
Rachel jumps to her feet and takes the floor before anyone can grumble. "Well, I'm not going to let this stop our usual activities. Noah, care to show them what we've been working on?" He nods and grab a guitar.
When the music starts the 'welcome outsiders' look at each other and try to silence their winces. Puckelberry's singing Need you Now. Azimio leans in to Artie and asks if Rachel always sings songs to make people cry. When his teammate nods, he looks to Dave and Janet and just shakes his head. Dave mouths to Z we're gonna have to do it, you know that, right? Z just rolls his eyes and sighs. When the song ends the football team still won't let up.
"That was really moving. I especially liked the lipstick lesbian with the faux-hawk. Such a strong voice," Balefor mockingly said. Puck nods a few times, and charges the team wielding the instrument like a bat. A lot of arguing ensues, with Dave managing to get the guitar out of Puck's hands, which Azimio places on an empty stand. Things die down when Dave bellows "STOP!"
"Everyone sit!" Dave orders. He throws daggers with his eyes at the other members of the football team, then begins to speak. "Rachel, can you even sing songs that aren't intended to make people cry?"
"I prefer to make people so moved by my performances that they can't forget it," came her response.
"Well, one, you can't ever get famous doing that, just ask Eva Peron." There's some small amount of laughter. "Second, you can't win Nationals like that. You need to find a different way to both move and entertain. For example," he stops as he asks Brad if he and the band knows the song he wants to perform. When the nod comes he waves Azimio down from the seats. Once next to him Dave points to Brad and says "hit it!"
[Azimio] Dave and Azi
[Dave] Whoaaa
Another day
I take your pain away
Mike and Tina join DZ up front.
Some people talk about ya
Like they know all about ya
When you get down they doubt ya
And when you dip it on the scene
Yeah they talkin' bout it
Cause they can't dip on the scene
Whatcha talk about it
T-t-t-talkin' bout it
When you get elevated,
They love it or they hate it
You dance up on them haters
Keep getting funky on the scene
While they jumpin' round ya
They trying to take all of your dreams
But you can't allow it
The rest of the glee club has joined in by now, and just after the next line so do the Titans.
Cause maybe whether you're high or low
Whether you're high or low
You gotta tip on the tightrope
(Tip, tip on it)
T-t-t-tip on the tightrope
(Tip, tip on it)
Maybe, maybe, maybe
Whether you're high or low
(High or low)
Maybe whether you're high or low
(High or low)
You got to tip on the tightrope
(Tip, tip on it)
Now let me see you do the tightrope
(Tip, tip on it)
And I'm still tippin' on it
See I'm not walkin' on it
Or tryin' to run around it
This ain't no acrobatics
You either follow or you lead, yeah
I'm talkin' bout you,
I'll keep on blaming the machine, yeah
I'm talkin' bout it,
T-t-t-talkin' bout it
I can't complain about it
I gotta keep my balance
And just keep dancin on it
We gettin funky on the scene
And you know about it,
Like a star on the screen
Watch me tip all on it
Then maybe whether I'm high or low
(High or low)
Maybe whether you're high or low
(High or low)
Ooh, you gotta tip on the tightrope
(Tip, tip on it)
Yeah, tip on the tightrope
(Tip, tip on it)
Maybe, maybe, maybe
Whether you're high or low
(High or low)
Maybe whether you're high or low
(High or low)
Tip on the tightrope
(Tip, tip on it)
Maybe let me see you tightrope
(Tip, tip on it)
And I'm still tippin' on it
[Azimio] You gotta keep your balance
Or you fall into the gap
It's a challenge but I manage
Cause I'm cautious with the strap
Doing damage to your canvas that a doctor cannot patch
See why you don't want no friction
Like the back of a matchbook
That I pass as I will forward you
And your MacBook
Clothes shows will shut you down
Before we go-go backwards
Act up, and whether we high or low
We gonna get back up
Like the Dow Jones and NASDAQ
Sorta like a thong in a ass crack,
Come on
[Dave] I tip on alligators and little rattle snakers
But I'm another flavor
Something like a terminator
Ain't no equivocating
I fight for what I believe
Why you talkin' bout it
S-s-she's talkin' bout it
Some callin' me a sinner
Some callin' me a winner
I'm callin' you to dinner
And you know exactly what I mean,
Yeah I'm talkin' bout you
You can rock or you can leave
Watch me tip without you
N-N-Now whether I'm high or low
(High or low)
Whether I'm high or low
(High or low)
I'm gonna tip on the tightrope
(Tip, tip on it)
MMMMMM
(Tip, tip on it)
Maybe, maybe
Whether I'm high or low
(High or low)
High or low
(High or low)
I got to tip on the tightrope
(Tip, tip on it)
Now maybe tip on the tightrope
The gleeks, with Janet, Azimio and Dave, form on one side, the Titans on the other. Beiste joins the gleeks, Will the Titans.
You can't get too high
(You can't get too high)
I said you can't get too low
(We can't get too low)
Cause you get too high
(You can't get too high)
No you'll surely be low
(No, you'll surely be low)
1, 2, 3, Ho!
Yeah, yeah
Now shut up, yeah
Yeah, now put some voodoo on it
Ladies and gentlemen the funkiest horn section in Lima Ohio
Yeahyeahyeah, oh
We call that Classy Brass!
Ohhhhhhh
OH!
Do you mind?
If I play the ukulele
Just like a little lady
Do you mind?
If I play the ukulele
Just like a little lady
As I play the ukulele
If I play my ukulele
Just like a little lady
The gleeks and jocks hi-five in their respective groups, with the former including Dave, Azimio, and Janet in their celebration. When DZ looks at Artie he gives them a nod and a thumbs up. After about two minutes Will calls the group to silence.
"Dave, that was... amazing!" he says, still shocked and thrilled. "I can see why you won Nationals with moves like that!"
"Actually Mr. Schue we just copied Janelle Monaé, but thanks," Dave replies, not hiding that he's having much more fun with the gleeks than he ever did with the football team.
"It's hard for a big boy to move like that," Azimio says while getting a hug from Janet, "but it can be done. And it has it's fringe benefits," he finishes as he gives Janet a kiss.
"Okay, so maybe if we saw more of that," Balefor says, looking at Dave, "we'd be a little... less pushy," he finishes with a mock locker-check motion.
"So, what's next guys?" Will asks. "Any ideas for Regionals?"
"Wait, Regionals?" Greyson asks. "You actually compete against other glee clubs?"
"Yeah they do Greyson, just like we do with our Conference," Dave replies while looking at Greyson and rolling his eyes.
"Whatever queermo. It's just like American Idol without the talent," he says while folding his arms. He jumps when Beiste and Azimio stand in front of him.
"You are NOT ever going to say ANYTHING about someone's sexuality, GOT IT?" she shouts as Z just folds his arms and stares.
"N-n-no ma-ma'am, I w-w-on't," he stammers out and hangs his head.
"Mr. Schue, not everyone can dance like that, but with voice lessons from Santana, Mercedes, and Rachel, and dancing lessons from me, Mike, and Brittany, we should be able to bring everyone up a few notches, even Finn and Mike," Dave says, getting nods of approval from everyone.
"Alright, so what songs should we work on then?" Will asks as order is restored.
...
Things are going well until Dylofsky, Jamio, Mike & Tina, and Artany are having dinner the next night. Janet and Brittany are complaining that Coach Sylvester's being more of a bitch than usual and goes over their attempt to be more flashy than the pyrotechnics and BMXing of their California Girls number.
"I mean, she even started to watch cartoons from, like, the Civil War or something to get ideas," Brittany says as she noses a meatball to Artie, who just smiles and bites into it like it's an apple in a barrel.
"And if that's not bad enough, she's making us use, like, three cups worth of falsies," Janet moans. "I wasn't meant to have double-Ds..."
"Is she actually listening to you guys for ideas, or is she just being like Rachel but without the soul?" Tina asks, taking a sip of her Cherry Coke.
"Are you kidding? Tina, she had BMX stunts and thought it wasn't enough!" Dave exclaims, tossing himself back against the booth.
"Fire hoops, fire whips, blue wigs, and sparkler bras. How can that not be enough?" Dylan asks, trying to find something. He raises his eyebrows. "Hey, how about vocals? Brittany, I remember you from Dr. Carl's office. I danced with you, and that Santana girl."
Brittany looks at Dylan for a second, her wheels click, and she responds happily "We did! I knew you looked familiar. But Coach won't let us do Brittany. Even if we won for the next ten years," she says looking sad. Artie rubs circles on her back.
"At least glee club's working well," Mike says. "The other players seem to be enjoying themselves, there haven't been any fights or slushees, and Janet," he says and gives her a quick look up and down. "You have some moves! Not that you don't sweetie," he says as he gives Tina a kiss on her cheek, "but you're more modern than Tina is. Maybe you two should get together, see if you can teach each other." Both girls nod when they see they are both Team Edward by the necklaces they're wearing.
"Well, let me know if something serious comes up," Dylan replies as he squeezes Dave's hand. "I'm working on a way to pop in if you guys need it."
Dave gives his boyfriend an offended look. "Wait, not for me but for them?" he replies in a childish tone.
"Well Davy, I thought I'd give you some time to adjust to being out before I transferred to the school I'm supposed to be going to."
"Well get it set up soon then," Dave says as he lays a chaste kiss on Dylan's lips, getting "ahhs" from everyone seated.
"Will do Dylan," Janet says as she fires an angry text to her cousin.
...
The next day Coach Sylvester unveils her 'winning' weapon: A Person Cannon. After entertaining some complaints from her squad she gives it a test run and both fries and tears apart a test doll. She mumbles something that the Cheerios can't hear, but everyone hears Janet.
"Hey Coach! You are not firing any of us out of that thing until you can do it without killing or maiming us, is that clear!" Janet shouts, startling everyone. Sue instantly closes what little distance there was and gets in the Korean cheerleader's face.
"You do NOT tell me how to run MY squad, is that clear you mouthy little bitch?"
Janet simply head-butts Sue and walks away, stripping off her uniform. "I quit. Find some dumb bimbo to take the key of the pyramid." Brittany, remembering that she was supposed to be in the cannon, follows Janet, saying "Sucks to be you right now Coach." Quinn and Santana just look at the two, staring, frozen in place.
"We need to tell someone what Coach Sylvester's trying to do," Brittany says."I don't want to die until One Tree Hill get's cancelled."
"Don't worry. Two simple phone calls and this'll be all over," Janet says. "Hey, can I borrow some clothes Brittany? You know, if you have them here and aren't going to wear them?"
"Yeah, sure, but we have to walk to my car."
"No problem."
Later that day Will informs the expanded New Directions that since Sue can't use her cannon unless the parents consent to it, Cheering Regionals have been moved to the same time as the Championship game. After protests about being drafted to perform the half-time show, Will starts 'Zombie Camp.' Dave tries to help everyone he can, but his teammates aren't making it easy.
"C'mon guys, put some life into it!" Will tells the group.
"Uh, we're supposed to be the walking undead?" Dave playfully replies.
"Then put some afterlife into it guys!" Will fires back, exhausted.
After another half an hour the camp ends and Will calls for make-up lessons. Strando protests but is pushed along by Beiste. Will calls Dave over for a quick one-on-one.
"Look, Mr. Schue, I know I'm not the best here, but there's really not much to do other than lurch," Dave quickly says, knowing full-well that he's the best male zombie in the group.
"That wasn't quite what I was going to say. It must have been very difficult to hide all of this these past few years. Your singing, dancing, being gay. I just want you to know you'll always have a place here in glee club. And if you want to join after this week, Kurt's already called and said that he's totally fine with it."
Dave's eyes light up with that last sentence. "Really? I mean, even after..?"
"You obviously are sorry for what you did and regret doing it. And carrying Artie halfway across the building and three floors? That tipped the scales to your side Dave," Will finished, patted Dave on the back, and gave him a nudge to the makeup tables. Dave nods as he takes a mirror and gets into costume. After seeing most of the non-glee Titans looking like the brushes and sponges are Alien acid-blood, he decides to go basic pale-white with a few lines to increase the angles of his face. He gets an idea and moves over to Finn.
"Hey, Finn? I just had an idea and wanted to see if it sucked or not," Dave asks, not sure if he's going to step on any toes.
"Sure, let's hear it," Finn replies, more confused than angered. They haven't really been buddy-buddy since that night he broke down in the living room, but they haven't been butting heads, which was actually pretty awesome.
"I think we should do a warm up number. A lot of these guys haven't done anything other than football in front of an audience before."
Finn nods a few times, thinking it over. "Sure. Sounds like a great idea actually. Any idea what song?"
"There's something I've been wanting to do with you guys since you pulled a win at Sectionals last year..." Dave replies, honest respect in his eyes. "Let me work on the choreography - I didn't think the stage would be so small when I first came up with it.
"Cool, thanks Dave," Finn replied, hoping he wouldn't mess it up. I think I might like the new, nice, gay Dave Karofsky.
Then again, I may hate his guts Finn thought as he pulled Sam out of reach. After whispering something to him, Dave came back to Finn and they both watched Quinn just walk away.
"What was that about? Honor amongst thieves and all?" Dave asked, wondering why a girl, or Kurt, would be interested in someone as dorky as Finn Hudson.
"Quinn and Santana quit glee. Coach Sylvester made it a condition to stay on the squad," Finn replied.
"So, what did you tell Quinn to make her boyfriend so pissed off? Sam's gotta be the most mellow guy I've ever met."
"I just called her weak for following peer-pressure and that stuff."
Dave scoffs, grabs Finn's shoulder, and give a light squeeze and shake. "Dude, we're all guilty with that one." He points to himself, "Remember, closet-case bully?" he points to Finn and says "closet-musician." He disappears around a corner and Finn's left stunned. Did I just get a pep talk from Dave Karofsky? he thinks as he follows the path Dave took, realizing it's time to do the warm up number.
After a standing ovation from the glee club and being told it was awesome by Mr. Schue, Dave and Azimio hug each other, nod, and as Azimio leaves the stage Janet comes up to it.
"Guys, we've been talking, and we'd like to join the glee club," Janet says.
Artie's the first to respond. "Sure. The more the merrier yo."
"Yeah. You guys are good!" Tina adds, still beaming with approval.
"I don't have a problem with it," Rachel adds. "Dave, you've apologized to all of us and have a seal of approval from Kurt, and Janet, wow! You can give Brittany a run for her money."
"I don't have to run for money I work at the animal shelter," Brittany says as she eyes Rachel. She smiles at the people on stage, shaking Rachel's shoulder.
"Guys, welcome our newest members of the New Directions!" Will exclaims. Another round of applause, this time rubbing off on the Titans. They all nod in agreement, and with their new-found confidence begin to walk down the halls to the locker room. Most of the guys raise their eyebrows as they pass, some of the girls looking confused, a handful of them pulling back in fear. Then they're stopped by the hockey team.
"Well well well, look how the mighty have fallen," Scott Cooper says as he looks over the 'Zombie Titans.'
"Hi Scott," Dave sneers. "Have any good walks in the park lately?" This makes Scott's face drain of what little color it had, especially since Dave added a raising of his eyebrows.
"Shove it Karofsky! So, you guys really are going to do the halftime show. Why the sudden move to suck-a-tude?" Scott fires back.
"Are you kidding, it's gonna be awesome! Puck's gonna have so many MILF panties he just might die right there on the field!" Dave smirks back, getting a nod from his new friend.
"Holy shit, they've turned Karofsky gay," Scott slams out.
"At least I own up to it dude," he shoots back as he tries to push through the other team. He's shoved back into the Titans.
"With you guys going and dancing like a bunch of fools, we'll rightfully take our place at the top of the popularity ladder, watching you guys fall below the role-players," Scott says mockingly.
"Dude, how many times do we have to do this? Football rules the school!" Finn shouts.
"Seriously man, do we have jump to daily dumpster dives and Port-A-John rolls?" Greyson spits out.
Dave thwacks both of them on the chest. "Uh, guys, what's with the slushees?"
"Oh, these?" Scott mocks. "Just a taste of things to come," he says as they begin flying into the Titans. The hockey team throws the cups too and walk past them, laughing.
...
"Dude this sucks!"
"Seriously! This burns!"
"Relax buys, the burning'll stop in a couple hours," Finn replies coolly.
"This' what I did to you guys for two and a half years?" Dave replies as he furiously scrubs his eyes. Check your backpack, I put like, five boxes of Visine in there Dylan says. Dave begins to tear through his backpack.
"No way man. I ain't doing this!" Greyson says, slamming his locker shut.
"Oh yes you are!" Beiste says as the room begins to quiet. "You look like more of a team now that you ever have."
"No way Coach," Strando says, toweling his hair.
"You're doing this or you're off the team!" Beiste says with a deadpan expression.
"You're bluffing. You don't have a team without us!" Calhune says.
"With you I don't have a team!" comes her reply.
"Whatever, I'm done!" Balefor says as he storms out, followed by everyone not in glee, minus Azimio.
"What're we going to do now?" Mike asks, slumping onto a bench.
"I have an idea, but we'll need to get a few guys back onboard," Dave replies. Hey Dylan, how fast can you transfer here? Shit's hit the fan.
Really? See you in twenty! And ask Coach if it's cool for me to join.
"Hey guys, how do you feel about my boyfriend being on the team?" Dave asks, getting shocked looks from everyone left in the locker room...
...
Principal Rubens dated the transfer form and had faxed it to McKinley. Dylan gathered his drop-slips from all of his teachers, hopped on his bike, and sped off toward his new high school. He was somewhat relieved that there were no zero-period or lunch classes, but he wondered if that would affect his GPA. He was on track to be at least Salutatorian at Carmel, and if not for being kicked out of jROTC he would have been Valedictorian.
When he got off his bike he placed the student parking sticker, good through Senior year, on the windshield and placed some heat tape on it to keep it from being stolen. He walked the somehow familiar path to Principal Figgins' office. As he was ushered in he gave the receptionist her copy of his transfer documents.
"Dylan, have a seat," Principal Figgins said. "Despite not being in uniform I remember you from the first day of school this year. May I ask what got you to finally transfer?"
"Dave Karofsky. He, along with the New Directions who are on the football team need help."
Figgins looked a little surprised. The last time that name came up it was Kurt Hummel transferring out of the school. "Forgive me Dylan, but the last time transfers and David Karofsky were in the same sentence it was a student transferring out of McKinley."
"Kurt Hummel, I know. Things are different now, since Dave and I reconnected and began dating." Dylan handed the authorization forms he had to the now slack-jawed principal. He takes them without looking down to his hands.
"Interesting..." he replies as he looks over the forms. "These seem to be in order. Welcome to William McKinley High School Dylan Howard..." he smiles as he hands the forms back to Dylan.
"Thank you Principal Figgins," he says as he takes the forms and asks how to get to the choir room. Once told he leaves the office and heads there. He walks right past the Triad of Douche without incident, despite blasting Adam Lambert's Aftermath through his phone. When he sees the first door to the choir room, which is the door usually behind the band, he turns off the Zune function and pockets the headset.
"... No one here wants to be a scab, and I cut over thirty guys at the start of the season Will," Beiste says as she looks at the kids in the chairs."
"We'll find a way Shannon," Will replies. No one knows about the girl's plan yet, and no one knows that this will play into Dylan's plans perfectly. Dylan knocks on the door frame and walks in.
"I hear the Titans need a player and the glee club could use a new member, with Santana and Quinn bitching out?" He says as he pulls some papers from the folder he's holding.
"Dylan!" Rachel, Dave, Azimio, and Janet exclaim at the same time. Dave runs to hug and kiss his boyfriend, the other three just to hug him.
"Dave, dude, this' your boyfriend?" Puck asks, staring him down as he notices Lauren checking him out. She smacks him.
"Dude, red-heads are hot, get over it," Lauren says as she keeps eyeing the one guy she likely couldn't get in a chokehold.
"What are you doing here Dylan?" Finn asks as the hugs break up, Dave lets go of Dylan's hand, and Dylan walks up to Beiste and Will.
"You need another player for the game, and without Santana and Quinn you need one more person to qualify for Regionals. Coach, Mr. Schue, here's the forms you need."
"There's only your signature here Dylan," Beiste says as she goes over it.
"Adult status. My aunt and uncle have pretty much moved to China for their current assignment. My mom and dad... well, no idea where they are, and I don't care," he says as he looks to Dave. "And don't worry Mr. Schue. I don't steal the spotlight, so whatever you guys come up with for a competition I'm okay with, as long as I get some input on it."
"But dude, that was like, seven years ago," Sam says.
"And I did it myself almost five years ago. I barely tied Vocal Adrenaline, but since my school closed that year, doesn't officially count."
Everyone's eyes light up, softening Beiste's features. She lightly nods and says "Welcome to the Titans Dylan, but it's not enough. We're still short three players."
"We, actually have an idea for that one Coach," Rachel says as she moves to the front of the class. "We want to join!"
"Huh-what?" Finn and Will say at the same time.
"Wait, you ladies want on the team?" Dylan says, surprised at how ballsy these girls are. "'Cause if you do, we can actually win this game."
"You guys just need head-count," Mercedes says as she stands next to Rachel, "and that takes nine people on the field."
"And when you snap the ball we can just lay down so we don't get hurt," Rachel adds.
"Speak for yourself ladies. I'm gonna grab that ball and run touchdowns," Janet says as she moves to the front, knowing that's one of Azimio's turn-ons.
"And since I'm practically a professional Greco-Roman Wrestler now, I'm gonna bring the pain," Lauren says, walking to stand with the other girls in the glee club. Puck's face says I'm way turned on.
"It took some explaining, but our parents know what we're trying to do," Tina says as she hands Beiste signed permission slips.
"And with Lauren as a guard/snapper and/or Janet as a runner, we can actually win the game, if it comes to that," Dylan says as he pulls both girls into a hug.
"This... actually works guys," Beiste says. "Ladies, welcome to the football team."
Everyone begins to cheer and begins to work out all the details. A quick rehearsal to make sure Dylan knows the half-time number and a review of the playbook with Dylan, Lauren, and Janet, and it's time to hit the field.
...
As the Titans who decided to play the game were warming up the ones who cowered out approached them, eyeing the new guy with the red hair, long crew cut, and gotee. Finn, Sam, Mike, and Puck were doing their own warm-ups, but Dave, Azimio, and Dylan were doing, to what Greyson and the others thought, the strangest arm exercises ever.
"Dudes, you're still here?" Greyson asked.
"And what the hell are you three doing?" Calhune added.
"Just some dancing dude, don't get all fired up," Azimio said as he and his two best friends finished up their dancing to 'Fever the Night.'"
"Still only got eight players. And who's the new guy?" Balefor said as he smirked at Dylan.
"This is my boyfriend, and he's gonna do what you're too chicken-shit to do yourself," Dave spat, walking to the line of equipment while giving the deserters an extra-icy glare.
"You still need at least three more players dim-wit!" Strando said, confused about what Dave just said as he just stared at Dylan.
"We got that covered," Finn playfully said as the glee girls began marching up to them.
Seeing girls in football gear was not supposed to happen outside of porn. Sure, that black girl looked kinda hot, and those Asian girls were major torque material, but what the hell was this about?
"What the hell are they doing here Hudson?" Greyson asked, more rhetorical than actually asking.
Standing up and grabbing his helmet, Finn just said "What none of you have the balls to do," then just walking up to the girls. The deserters just waved them away and left to their seats in the stands.
"Let's kick some ass!" Rachel screams, getting into the mood.
"Yeah, let's show those cowards who really wears the pants!" Brittany shouts.
"Beware the wrath of a driven, single woman!" Mercedes belts out.
"Ladies, great psych-up!" Dylan encourages, giving each a woman-strength (women's equivalent of a hard slap) on the side of their backs and grunting.
Beiste comes up to the newly arraigned team, looking them over. "Ok, with three of the girls on the field, that still leaves three on the bench. If any of you guys need a breather, let me know. Zizes, Tina, Brittany, you're up first," she finishes as she sees the team nod. "Ok, get on your marks!" as she blows the whistle.
"Hey Finn," Dylan says as taking his place to the left of Lauren, "call 'tails.' If we're up first, pass. I have a plan."
"Okay, but I'm the captain. What's your plan?" Finn asks.
"If we pass first, Brittany and I can rush them. I sack the QB and Brittany grabs the ball for a turnover."
"I can totally do that. I do it all the time when our neighbors try to take Lord Tubbington to the cat rescue," Brittany says. "I can do it Finn."
Hesitantly, Finn agrees to the play. The coin's flipped, and lands on Finn's call of 'tails,' so he passes the ball. Since there's no rules about both kicking the ball and going to sack the receiver after, Dylan kicks the ball (taking his lucky number 13 for his jersey). The Titans slowly jog as the ball sails to the other team, and once snatched, he, Brittany, and Mike charge the oncoming team. Dylan takes down the runner's left guard, setting him off balance. Mike takes out another guard as Dylan sacks the runner, opening up the ball. Grabbing it before it hits the ground Brittany makes a mad dash for the endzone and scores a touchdown. This play's only lasted 19 seconds.
Coming back for a huddle it's agreed to let the other team gain a dozen or two yards before a sack. The Titans hold ground and push the opposition back seven yards, and on the third down score a turnover as Lauren sacks the quarterback with Tina running for another touchdown. With five minutes left in the first quarter Finn calls for a timeout. So far it's a shutout at 28-0.
"Guys, we can't keep this up and do the show," he says as he lightly pants.
"Speak for yourself softie," Dylan says, no hint that he's in any way exerted himself.
"Hey, Puck, I need you to go convince the other guys to do the halftime show," Finn asks.
"Why? We're winning without them, so..." Puck replies. Fuck 'em he thinks.
"Because this isn't our team, and I know you can find a way to get them to do it," Finn replies.
"I got tone Mav," Puck says as he fist-bumps his best friend and sprints off the locker room.
"SAM!" Finn waves him over. "I need you to QB the rest of the half. I'm gonna get Quinn and Santana to come back." Sam simply nods.
"Dylan, go ahead and take a - " Finn's cut off by the fact that he can't see any sweat on Dylan's face. "Never mind. Ideas?"
"Bring Janet in and let Tina or Brittany take a breather," comes the response. "Unless Lauren wants a break and find a way for Mercedes to be as unmovable."
"Make the call Sam," Finn says as he runs off to the parking lot.
"I could really use a breather. I want to be my best when we do the show," Tina says as she walks to the benches and tags Janet in.
"Alright, let's do a roundhouse side-charge! On eight!" Sam shouts. "BREAK!" comes the team's response.
...
As the door slams open a helmet comes flying through it, then a pissed-off Puck. He glares down his other teammates, looking them over as they absently shuffle things around in their lockers.
"What the hell dudes?" Puck yells. "The glee club's WINNING your game! Do you think you can live that down? HUH?"
"Better than being humiliated in front of a whole crowd dancing in zombie makeup!" Greyson belts out, trying to out-badass the resident badass.
"Wrong dude! If we win this without you, we'll have the glory and the rings, and you'll have shit!" The crowd cheers again, the announcer screaming that Jeong just scored a 33 yard touchdown. "Another cheerleader just scored a TD dudes, and it's this school's first shut-out. You can still share the legendary status if you do the halftime show."
"No way man. I don't care if my parents ground me until I'm forty!" Balefor says, hanging his head in shame.
"Forget it Puck," Strando replies. "We're not doing it."
"Fine, touchy nutsacks. Hope you like being less popular than those LARPers," Puck finishes as he leaves, pissed off that he wasn't able to get any results. He tags in during the next switch-off, giving Azimio a break.
...
The halftime show was totally awesome, even if the rest of the football team stayed in the stands. Finn had managed to not only get Quinn and Santana back, but their parents signed permission forms to let them join the Titans. Having no qualms Santana agreed to be the quarterback to free up Dave to defend and keep the thugs off of Finn and the receivers. The score went from 44-0 to 56-0 in the third quarter. With 42 seconds left on the clock Dylan tried to run for a 48 yard TD, and got sacked hard. Dave was the first to run over when no one saw him move.
"Dylan?" Dave bellowed, carefully turning him over with Quinn and Lauren's help. His faceguard was busted and there was a blood stain on the grass.
"... Could someone get this guard out of my helmet?" Dylan replied, winded.
Quinn carefully tugged the guard and got it out without causing any more damage, then Lauren pulled the helmet off. There was just one gash above his left cheek, and it was already starting to scab. While Beiste went to grab another helmet Dylan waived Dave to keep playing while a medic taped the cut. The quarter ended with another two TDs, one from a turnover by Quinn, another by Sam. Mercedes took both kicks and nailed them.
During the fourth quarter the Titan's tactics went from expanding their lead of 70-0 to just keeping the shutout alive. After a few close calls the final buzzer sounded, ending the game. Not only had McKinley won the Conference Championship and had their first shutout, but was the first time in Ohio history (that anyone knows about) a high school team scored that many points or had that many turnovers. Dylan called everyone for an emergency meeting at his place after they all cleaned up, minus Santana and Brittany. "I have a surprise for them, to celebrate..."
Sorry this one's so sloppy. We've had crews here for about a month trenching the street to replace a water line, and they've gone back to working ONLY at night. Between chapters I've had about five to eight hours of sleep total. I'll keep writing until my brain dead-ends on ideas.
