A/N: All the usual disclaimers. Thank you all again for reading, reviewing, and returning for chapter 6! It's a big chapter them and a long one for you. Chapter 7 is in the works. As always thank you reading, I hope you enjoy it, and let me know what you think.


April angrily fingered the remote to the television in her hospital room. She was laying in her room, with her new near constant companion, a wheelchair, stationed next to her bed. She'd been in the hospital a week and she was bored silly. It was hard to believe how much her life had changed in one week. Just 7 days. This time last week, she'd been walking around, doing challenging surgeries, and saving lives.

Now? She felt like all she did was sleep, eat, go to rehab, which hurt, and watch bad tv. Well, that and research bone damage.

Currently, she had her laptop, her notebook, and several medical journals with articles on orthopedic surgery spread out on top of her blankets. April was reading up on crush injury recovery times in order to best optimize her own treatment. Not that she didn't trust Callie's plan for her or anything. She just felt like she needed to do something.

Something that made her feel like this whole thing didn't just happen too her. Like she had some agency in the course of her own life. Crush injuries had damaged the bones badly. Her knee was completely artificial, and much of structure of her lower leg was now actually supported with metal pins and rods. April could only let herself research so much. It could be too depressing.

April was, for the most, part optimistic. Callie Torres was one of the best orthopedic surgeons in the country and she was making sure that April had the best shot to make a good recovery. Talking to Torres made her feel better than her own research, actually. She knew she should just trust Callie, but April had so much time on her hands that she couldn't help herself. She had to look into it.

Karen and Joe Kepner had managed to stay for her first 4 days, which had been great, just what she needed. But a crisis with some livestock, and a general shortage of substitute teachers had forced them to go home sooner than April thought either of them wanted. It was okay though. She understood. And she wasn't a child; she could manage without her parents. Even if the past 3 days had been torturous and dull for her. Being a patient really sucked.

Luckily, Dr. Torres told April that she would be discharged the next evening, on the condition that she return daily for her therapy sessions, so she only had to endure one more day of being cooped up. Although April still wasn't entirely sure on where she'd be going. Meredith's house wasn't exactly wheelchair accessible and April's room, all the bedrooms actually, were upstairs, and there was just no way she could do that just yet. But Jackson had told her not to worry about it, that he and Alex and Meredith were 'working something out' at the house. April didn't know if she should be pleased or worried.

At night in bed, April still had to use the medical sling to keep her right knee and leg apparatus elevated. Which annoyed her to no end. It wasn't comfortable, and made it hard to sleep. She wasn't on morphine anymore, so April felt the aches and pains in her leg way more acutely. Flicking to the next channel on tv, she shifted again, fingering the sling with her other hand, trying to find a better position.

The other residents had slipped into a routine of visiting her, which April appreciated very much. It made her feel more connected to the rest of the hospital. Lexie came over in the mornings, detailing what interesting cases she remembered through her photographic memory, interspersed with the occasional, unintentional mention of Mark Sloan, which April chose not to comment on. Then Jackson would come and hangout with her, updating her on the latest non-surgical happenings in the hospital until she had to go to her dreaded rehab.

Her physical therapist, Bobby, was pretty good. However, the whole process was draining. Her muscles ached, her nerves burned, and her pride suffered. Because really, April had gotten a handle on the whole walking thing decades ago. It was disheartening to realize that she actually couldn't do simple things like walking or standing up like she'd used to. Bobby said April needed to be patient. She wasn't sure she could. She felt like she was failing.

April sighed and surfed through the channels again, finally leaving the same channel she'd started with, the Hallmark Network, playing on the tv set. Nine times out of ten that's what April had on. That and weird documentaries on the discovery channel. She was predictable, even to herself.

After her rehab, the fifth years had moved their lunch location to her room, which April loved. She didn't mean to be a burden on them or anything, but the company made her feel better. And because Meredith had sort of taken over some of April's chief resident scheduling work, she would sneak in some of the paper work. So, April could still 'work' without really working. Which also made her feel better.

Bailey usually shooed the group out by around 12pm, leaving April basically alone, save for check-ups, for the longest stretch of her day. She'd sleep, read, watch television and trying not to indulge too much wallowing. Instead she'd spend time planning things. Her recovery, how to keep her career on track... It was all she could do. That and wait. Until Alex came to visit that is.

Alex. The best part of her day, even if she didn't really know what his deal was. She didn't know how to interpret his behavior. April generally wasn't that good at interpreting behavior anyway.

Alex came to see her every evening after his shift ended, and he stayed long into the night. Until his pager went off or she went to sleep. He was actually being nice to her. Why? April didn't know. Honestly, she figured that he just must have really gotten rattled by the whole series of events. He probably came because he pitied her. Because he felt guilty for not being able to save her leg.

Well, April thought something like that had to be the reason. Because before, Alex had never voluntarily spent much time with her. He would never have chosen to. And now he did. He'd eat with her, crack lame jokes and watch bad tv. Which was great. It made her feel less lonely, and less self-pitying. Alex could make April feel like everything was going to be alright in the end.

Which was why she couldn't for the life of her figure out why she wanted to ask him about it; ask him why he was visiting.

Actually April knew why. She was an obsessive over-thinker. She could never just let something be. Especially when she didn't understand it. Especially when it was Alex. Because she just couldn't stop herself from trying to understand him.

But she was afraid. Alex didn't have deep and serious conversations. Not with her. And April worried that if she broached the topic, asked him why he was behaving the way he was, the situation, like a bubble, would pop, and she'd loose him. That if she bothered him about it, Alex would go back to being the way he was a week ago. Telling her too shut up, and stop trying so hard. April was afraid to lose this fragile sort of bond they had.

At the same time she knew that sooner rather than later she would ask him about it. Because April really couldn't help herself. It was an aspect of her own personality that April hated, just a little bit, because she could never, ever just let things be.

As if right on cue, as April's line of thinking involved Alex, he appeared at the door of her room, carrying an open bag of goldfish and looking sullen. He headed straight for the chair at the side of her bed and turned it a little so he could see the tv better, angling it expertly so that he could also rest his feet on the edge of her bed, without disturbing her leg.

"Hey," he mumbled crunching through a mouthful of the tiny crackers. "Leftovers from peds."

Alex squinted at the television screen and then glanced to April with a raised eyebrow. "What the hell is this?"

April shrugged, "Channel 19."

"Again? Seriously April, can't we just check ESPN?" he said reaching for the remote.

"Fine," she handed the electronic device over with a faux dramatic sigh. It was okay. She'd seen this particular rerun of Golden Girls already anyway.

"I swear to God, April sometimes you can be such an old lady." Alex changed over to the sports network.

"I am aware. But..don't you ever just wish your life was like a Hallmark movie?"

Where people were decent. Guys fell in love with the ordinary girl, and everything ended up happy when all was said and done. If her life was a Hallmark movie, April knew her leg would miraculously heal, she'd get over all her nagging insecurities, and someone like Ryan Gosling would declare his undying love for her. And then they'd cure cancer or something. Pipe dreams. Fantasy.

And it wasn't like April really wanted a Ryan Gosling anyway. She just wanted...well, someone who loved her. Someone who got her. She wanted something like what her parents had. The slow burn of a longstanding affection, where you actually wanted to stay with a person for decades. Forever even. If that were possible. April worried that her chances of finding that were lower now than ever. She didn't think she'd ever had that much going for her, especially not in terms of 'sex appeal', and the whole 'kind of crippled for life' thing probably wouldn't improve matters.

She wanted...she could admit to herself, because after almost dying it seemed stupid not to, that she wished Alex would be that guy. For all that April didn't fully understand him, she still felt drawn to Alex, now more than ever. But, she also knew that that was completely unrealistic given her longstanding penchant for inappropriate and unobtainable crushes.

Plus, Alex didn't like her. Because she was too needy. Too inexperienced. Annoying.

And he didn't seem to want anybody. Didn't seem like he wanted that kind of life at all, judging by the never ending parade of women that April had had awkward breakfasts with at the house. Not that she could blame him completely. She knew that he'd been married when she'd met him in the merger, and that things had gone really badly with his wife. Even not knowing all the details, April could tell that that had had a profound affect on Alex's outlook and approach toward life. He'd been burned.

At any rate, bottom line, April wanted to be happy. And not alone. Not stuck at the kiddie table every holiday for the rest of her life because she was that one unmarried relative. Not unloved. She wanted to have at least that much in common with a Hallmark movie.

"No. That's all crap." Alex offered her the bag of crackers, as he kept his eyes glued to the tv taking in the latest basketball scores that rolled across the screen.

April squared her shoulders and grabbed a handful of the food. "I know...but I still I like them," she said after she swallowed, trying not to sound too indignant.

"You would."

Alex tore his eyes from the tv and stared right at her, lifting the remote and changing the channel back to channel 19. He looked sheepish and gave her one of those small smiles of his that April swore was on the verge of making her turn into a puddle of...well, pheromones probably.

Before the earthquake, his comments through this whole conversation would have been filled with venom. He might have even used the same words, but now he just said them in a different way. And also Alex would probably have added things and mimicked things, and would have generally made her feel embarrassed or childish. But now he didn't. And April was dying to know why.

"Why are doing this?" April blurted out. She couldn't stand the nagging question in her mind anymore.

"What? You don't want to watch the Hallmark channel now? It's Betty White. You love Betty White."

"No. No! Not that," she said shaking her head vigorously and tilting it to one side. She bit her lip and vaguely gestured in the space between them. "I, um, this. I mean this. Why...why are you being so...nice to me?"

April lowered her eyes unable to meet his gaze as she continued, "I mean, I understand that you feel responsible for me because of what happened. After the... after...well, with the earthquake and everything. But I am not trapped now. And yes, my leg is...it's...but I'm okay. I can manage. You don't have to be here. You're no longer obligated to care."

"Can't we just freakin' watch tv?"

"Uh...no. I need..." April winced, mentally kicking herself. She shouldn't have said that. He didn't react well when people said that. When she said that.

"I...need to know."

She heard Alex give a long sigh, and she felt brave enough to take a peek at him. His jaw was set and he'd leaned his head back against the wall.

"April," he said slowly. "You almost died. I almost saw you die." Alex paused for a long time, as a shadow of something, surely not pain, flickered across his features.

She gulped and lowered her eyes again thinking back to her scattered memories of being trapped. Yes, it had been very close. She did almost die. But, at the time, Alex had made her feel like she wasn't at the end of her life. He'd convinced her that she could live. And she hadn't really considered how much that might have actually affected him.

"And I know.." Alex continued, rambling in that semi monotone way that meant he really didn't want to talk too much, "I've never been really good at showing my friends that they matter to me or whatever. And you almost died. Thinking I thought you were a freak or something. So now, it's...better to see you here like this. Getting better and stuff."

April met his gaze raising her eyebrows. What exactly did that mean?

"Okay, so I still think you're kind of a freak, but like...like a freak who is a friend, matters to me, you know? Part my life. Someone...I'd...you know," Alex looking down, seemingly choosing his words carefully. "Miss."

"You'd miss me?" April never thought she'd see the day. She was stunned, both from what Alex was saying, but also from the fact that he was actually, sort of, talking about his feelings. Something she'd almost never seen him do.

"Yeah," he shrugged, clearing his throat loudly. "And if you died, who'd do my laundry? So, just don't worry about, like whyI am helping you out and stuff. I'm kinda recovering too, you know. Don't get all...just try not to...think about it."

Oh, like April could, just like that. Stop thinking? Fat chance. Her mind was already whirring, trying to make some sort of shocked sense of Alex's words.

"I'm your friend?" She blinked, still feeling like she was a little behind in the conversation. Alex considered her a friend.

"I know I...didn't act like that all the time...before..."

"Ever."

Alex tilted his head, and smirked, "Ever. But I am not exactly known for my good manners. And I have trouble cutting people some slack."

"This is true." April knew that many an attending and several of his patients parents could attest to that.

"So...I'm trying. Whatever." He shrugged again, looking strangely uncomfortable, "Uh, besides hanging out here is better than your office. Free cable. Anyway, can we just leave it at that and watch tv?"

No, April really didn't want to leave it at that. She wanted to press him more. She had the strangest feeling that Alex was holding back. Then again, she wasn't that great at reading people. April also had the completely ridiculous desire to ask them if they were 'friend' friends, which she knew would make him roll his eyes. And the idea that he felt anything deeper than friendship was just projecting too. Just because she might feel that way didn't mean Alex did. He liked her but probably didn't likeher. Well, he'd already proven that once already, in an on-call room the year before. And that was long before the scars and the rods and the rehab.

But...but...

April held her nervous energy together, though, even if she was dying to know more. Because Alex had never talked with her like this before. And she was afraid that demanding more now would make him retreat. Maybe she could learn something else another day.

For now, she could let herself be content that he considered her a friend. That made her feel unreasonably happy inside.

So, April gave Alex a tight lipped smile, which surprised her by dissolving into a yawn. "Ok-ay," she said unable to hold back a second yawn. She grabbed another handful of goldfish from the bag, and they both settled down and focused on the tv, each doing their best not to be caught glancing over at the other.

April chose not to point out the strangely appropriate theme song as a second episode of Golden Girls flickered across the tv screen. Too freakish.

"Thank you for being a friend..."

Way too freakish.


"Okay baby girl," Meredith said happily as she picked up her daughter Zola from daycare. "Time to go home.

She thanked the daycare worker and strapped the little girl securely into an umbrella stroller, before making her way through the hallways of the hospital towards the rehabilitation center to meet April and Alex to carpool. It had been 2 weeks since April was discharged from the hospital, and Meredith felt quite proud of how everyone in her little 'frat' house had acted. Especially Alex. April couldn't drive yet, and her crutches and wheelchair didn't fit into her own car, or Alex's, or Lexie's. They had to use Meredith's or Jackson's SUV.

But between everyone at the house, they shared those two cars, and made sure that April made it to the hospital for her physical therapy appointments. They'd all found a workable routine. And even if Meredith could tell that her fellow housemate was frustrated by having to relearn to walk, it was evident that the sessions were doing her a world of good.

The bulky apparatus was gone. There was still pain, but it was managed. The swelling had started to go down. April still used her wheelchair, because her stamina still wasn't what it used to be, and she still couldn't really support her weight on her bad leg, but she had already graduated to also using a pair of lofstrand crutches to get around and had even started cooking by herself while standing with them. A few days prior she'd cooked a pasta dinner for the whole house, and Meredith knew that that had made April feel accomplished.

Meredith had even heard Hunt and Bailey talking about getting April back to work, part time at least, in the clinic and running skills labs, within the next several weeks, once she could stand with the crutches for longer periods of time. And she was pretty sure that April was itching to get back to the hospital in some capacity, aside from being a patient. Meredith remembered well her own recovery from donating her liver to Thatcher Grey. It sucked to be out of the loop and away from what you loved. Even if Alex tried to cheer April up by telling her she was getting a jump on studying for boards with all that free time. He seemed determined not to let April wallow in depression.

Meredith was actually impressed at how much Alex in particular had stepped up to support April. She knew he could rise to the occasion. He was more than capable. She'd seen him do it for patients, herself, and of course for Izzie. It was nice to know that the realization he'd shared with her in April's office was something that Alex had actually taken to heart.

She'd first noticed just how much Alex had decided to let himself care when everyone was trying to figure out where to put April when she was ready to get discharged. Meredith and Derek weren't that sure if the house could really work since it had so many stairs. And April's room was upstairs as well. But Alex had had the brilliant idea of 'swapping' April's room upstairs with Derek's study off of the living room. He'd explained his idea, leading Derek and Meredith through the house, animatedly pointing out that from the study, April could get to the kitchen, living room, and downstairs bathroom, fairly easily on crutches or in the wheelchair.

And then when he'd convinced them, Alex had gone the extra step of getting everything set. And not just enough to make the new situation livable. Alex had completely switched the rooms. He had enlisted Jackson's help to carefully move all of April's belongings downstairs, and the two had set it up in roughly the same configuration April had had before. So that when she came home, it almost felt like the same place. Which Meredith could tell mattered her injured friend. The look on April's face when they'd brought her home had said it all. So much had changed for her in these past few weeks, it must be nice to have one thing stay mostly the same, even if it wasn't in exactly the same place.

Meredith had also noticed that the look on Alex's face as he watched April. That had said it all too. Just further proving to her that he'd meant what he'd said that first night. He cared. About April. He was letting himself care. And he hadn't done that for anybody. Not since Izzie. Meredith knew that Alex had been damaged by all of that.

And while Isobel Stevens was a friend of sorts, someone who Meredith still cared about, she couldn't quite let herself forgive what her former housemate had done to Alex. Not that Izzie had kept in touch with everyone anyway. She'd simply left, and stayed away, sending the house a Christmas card for the past two years. Yes, Alex was damaged by all of that, Izzie and more, but Meredith found herself secretly hoping that maybe, somehow April might play a part in fixing some of that. In making Alex happy.

Alex and April were already waiting for them when Meredith wheeled Zola down the hallway. He stood behind Aril's wheelchair, fidgeting with the crutches that were strapped to the back of the chair. April, pouting slightly, had her head down and seemed to be trying to pull some of her hair forward, to cover the spot where they had shaved her head to drain her hematoma. The bandages and stitches had come off a few days ago, and Meredith knew that April felt self-conscious about the awkward bald spot.

Awkward or not, Meredith knew that the surgery had saved her life. And no one really noticed the hair so much but April. And if they did, Meredith knew that they would see it as a sign of survival and nothing else. Or Dr. Bailey would personally kick their ass. If she could beat Alex to the punch.

April looked up as they approached and smiled broadly at Zola, reaching a hand out to tickle the little girl when they were close enough proximity to her chair. "Hey there, Zozo!"

Alex lifted his head in greeting and asked, "All ready to go?"

Meredith nodded and April moved her arms to push her wheelchair forward. But Alex was already behind her wheeling her forward.

"Hey!" April muttered indignantly as they journeyed to the elevator and took it down to the main lobby. "I can do it myself you know..."

Meredith only smirked as Alex replied, "Yeah, well, so can Zola. This is just quicker."

He seemed to be in particularly good mood, which was rubbing off on April. When the elevator doors opened Alex zipped out, pushing the wheelchair toward the main doors with increasing speed. As they reached the threshold and headed outside, Meredith could hear April's voice, "No! No, no, no! No running!"

Alex only increased his pace rushing forward toward Meredith's car, making April shriek, "Absolutely no wheelies!"

She looked down at her daughter and smiled, "I guess we already lost this race."

Zola only gurgled happily in response. "Oh, well."

By the time Meredith caught up to them by the car, both Alex and April were laughing hard, poking fun at each other, bickering, and very much enjoying each other's company.

"If you do that again, I'll stop cooking for you," April threatened, still breathlessly laughing.

"You won't."

"I will!"

"You won't."

"How do you know?"

"Because you had fun. Don't give me any crap that you didn't...And you're too much of a softy to let me starve."

As Alex and Meredith both moved to load the car, April focused her attention on Zola reaching from her chair to the stroller and holding the baby's hand. From her body language it was clear that the younger doctor still felt very uncomfortable about needing so much assistance getting around, and that talking to the baby was an easy diversion.

"Uncle Alex is being so silly, huh Zola?" she said sweetly.

As Alex moved to help April get from her chair to the car, he retorted, "Don't listen to a word she says Zola. You're cute like me. So April will never let you starve! Don't worry. And take it from me, anything you can ride that has wheels on it? That's always fun. Always. Remember: faster is better."

"I dunno Alex," Meredith cut in. "What pearls of wisdom are you forcing upon my little girl today? Seems like a recipe for making her parents hair go gray."

Alex shrugged looking at Meredith with a glint in his eye. Anticipating his next quip, Meredith gave him a friendly slap on the shoulder, "If you say I have gray hair already I'll hurt you."

Zola giggled at the tones of voice the all three used, and Meredith unstrapped her and lifted her into the car, re-buckling her into the safety of her car seat. As she knelt down and folded up the stroller, Meredith watched Alex help April get into the SUV. Again she was struck by how much care he took with her. And how well he did it. April had her arm around Alex's neck for support as she hopped on her good leg, and Alex began to lift her into the back seat of the car. Getting in and out of vehicles was still a difficult thing to do.

April winced, and sucked in a quick breath as her leg was jostled, and Alex immediately paused, midlift, realizing her pain and letting April take a break and a few deep breaths. Meredith quickly finished putting Zola's stroller away, and rounded to the driver's side of the car and got in. Alex had April settled and as Meredith started the engine, he started folding up the wheelchair and loading it in the back.

April still looked down cast and embarrassed, and refused to meet Meredith's eye in the rearview mirror. Instead she reached out to Zola again, letting the baby play with her fingers. Meredith smiled sympathetically.

She'd learned a lot about April in the past few weeks. More than she'd known before. And honestly more than she had been inclined to know at the time. April was exceptionally self-conscious. Probably more than she had to be. But April was also extremely sweet, and even in her current condition, she insisted on pulling her weight at the house by doing chores and helping with Zola. And the habits that Meredith had once found to be annoying now seemed slightly less so and endearing in a way. Because April had nearly died. And Meredith found it hard to imagine Seattle Grace without her.

Annoying habits, insecurity, and checklists or not.

"Uh..." April began clearly trying to distract herself. "Uh...Anything interesting happen for you today?"

Meredith glanced over at Alex as he climbed into the passenger seat. "Eh, Derek's let me back on his service, so lately we've been chasing down lost cause tumors. We've got a massive frontal lobe patient flying in Monday. Today we just 'defused a bomb' aneurysm."

She turned to Alex, continuing the conversation, and choosing to overlook April's insecurity in the hope that the chatter would take her mind off of things. She really shouldn't feel bad. "What's going on in peds lately?"

"Robbins has got us doing some pro-bono stuff with some kids from the south side. Some of these kids were born drug addicted and withdrawal symptoms are really rough when you're that little. So we're helping with the complications or whatever."

As Meredith pulled the car out of the parking lot and onto the road, she glanced to the back seat, eying Zola and April. The conversation seemed to have done nothing for the injured doctor's spirits. In fact it had seemed to have had the opposite effect. April still stared down at her knees, looking glum. Well, it probably wasn't the best topic of conversation for distraction. The one thing April wanted to get back to doing the most, surgery. She was still recovering. She just wasn't there yet.

Alex, true to his new approach, turned in his seat and asked, "What did you do today, April? How did your therapy go?"

April glanced up for Alex, laughing nervously, "Nothing really. Not like you guys. Nothing that interesting. Just more of the usual."

"Oh, come on," Alex continued. "Didn't you tell me Bobby's got you started with balancing work today or something."

"Yeah..."

"How's that going?"

April turned to the window, and her expression changed, becoming less embarrassed, and a little dreamy.

"Well, I...I kind of stood up on my own today..." She said quietly. "I stood up. For like, a second. No crutches or supports. It hurt. But I did it."

Meredith saw Alex's expression change. A big grin slowly appeared on his face, he crossed his arms, and he beamed with pride. "Ha! Freakin' A! Nothing interesting? April, that's...great progress. Awesome."

"It was just a second."

"Awesome."

April shrugged, and continued to look out the window.

"It is very good April," Meredith added steering the car home.

"The fact that you're on your feet only a few weeks out from your surgery is...seriously," Alex continued. "It's great. I know you feel like it's not that big of a deal or whatever because it's just standing up, but...I mean I thought you might lose the leg altogether, you know when we were down there. Bad-ahhawesome!"

His eyes darted to Zola, and he smirked at Meredith. She'd gotten him into a lot of trouble lately for his language in front of the baby. Neither she nor Derek wanted their daughters first words to be one of Alex's more colorful expressions.

April looked away from the window, with raised eyebrows. She smiled faintly at Alex's near gaff and said quietly. "Really? I guess."

"You're freakin' awesome."

Meredith could see it, just then. The moment when April finally raised her eyes to the mirror, and gazed at Alex through its reflection. The way Alex's mouth lifted into a half smile and his eyes softened. How April's posture and expression perked up the moment she believed him.

Oh, yes. Meredith knew that things were different between these two, ever since the earthquake. She knew April had once held a bit of a crush on Alex, but ever since their on-call hook up had gone wrong, Meredith wasn't entirely sure whether the crush still persisted. Now though, she knew. April's reaction said it all. And Meredith was pretty sure Alex might be falling for April. He was actually letting the other resident in at least, with his whole 'caring' thing.

Who knew what would happen between them though? What if neither of them ever said anything or acted on their feelings? What if Alex couldn't keep his knew attitude up and he went back to his old ways? It could all go so wrong.

But Meredith surprised herself by hoping for a bright and shiny ending.


Alex sat on the couch nursing a beer and eating some nachos. He had a basketball game playing on tv. Huskies vs. ASU. This was the first Saturday night he'd had off in a long time. Well, the first one he'd been able to spend at home at any rate. The actual last Saturday he'd had off was four weeks ago, but April had still been in the hospital then, and he'd opted to stay and keep her company. And it hadn't even been that hard really.

Turned out, April could actually be okay to talk to. Better than okay. He'd never really tried that hard before. He was surprised at how much random crap she remembered from school, books, and documentaries and stuff. It was different than 'Lexipedia', and the whole photographic memory thing. April didn't remember everything at every time. Stuff just popped into her head, sometimes with good calls.

Her memory of Oprah had kept April from getting shot by Gary Clark, which Alex had been surprised to hear, when the topic had come up in relation to the talk show queen's new cable channel. They hadn't lingered on the subject of the shooting for long though, which made Alex happy. No need to dredge up that crap. At any rate, the stuff that April remembered was like a little window into her mind that told Alex a lot something about what made her tick.

April was also funny. At least, she could make Alex laugh. Even when she didn't mean to be and rambled off into a tangent. And April didn't mind eating left over junk food that they used as treats in peds. Or burgers from the cafeteria. He'd talk with her, eat, and watch tv. Try to distract her from getting so worked up over the whole deal with her leg. He'd caught April furiously researching orthopedic surgery outcomes, and consequently freaking herself out, so many times. Alex did his best to try and make her see that things would work out. She was really lucky.

And Alex thought that she should be able to take at least a little bragging rights. Because really? She was freakin' standing already at only 4 weeks out from the earthquake. Given the amount of rods and pins and crap she was dealing with? She deserved major props. Street cred? April had it. And Alex tried to make her feel like she did. As best he could, even though sometimes, he could tell she still seemed down. She really was stronger than she looked, and knew.

So on a whole, Alex felt that 'operation don't be a douche bag' seemed to be doing okay.

He glanced over to the door of what had once been Derek's study. They'd converted it to be April's room, so that she could get around the house without using the stairs. At first she'd used a wheelchair most of the time, but in the past week or so, Alex was happy to see that April mostly stuck to using her crutches. Which was pretty cool. They had her using the type that attached to the upper parts of her arms, so that she could maintain her balance and use her hands. Alex noticed she used her hands a lot when she talked, gesturing and stuff, so it was good that the crutches didn't get in the way of that. One step closer to being her old self.

One problem about moving April into the study however, was that there was a certain lack of privacy. No one liked to have their door shut all the time, and now her door opened onto the living room. But none of the residents of the house complained though. Things were working out.

Currently, April was in her room, propped up on her bed with the door partially open. Alex tried not to eavesdrop, but then again her voice had never been that discreet. He knew that she was talking to one of her sisters, and it was clear that she was trying her best to blows it off, and hang up.

"You convinced him to go with? That's, um, good," she said carefully. "I mean Dad did PTA stuff when we were little. Maybe...I'm sure the girls won't be embarrassed." April frowned slightly nodding as she reached her free hand to her ear and nervously tugged on the lobe.

"Ah. Well, actually...I'm-I'm, uh, pretty bushed today. I-I just took my...anti-inflammatory medicine and that always makes me sleepy."

Alex smirked. Liar. And she wasn't really good at it. Those meds did make April tired, but Alex knew full well that she had yet to take them this evening. He'd seen her little pill organizer thingy when he was making his nachos. One of those pill things with a little labeled box for each day of the week. To keep organized or whatever. And tonight's was definitely still full. Alex's brow furrowed and he put another nacho into his mouth. She just must not feel like talking to her sister or something. He wondered why.

Her sister must have bought the excuse though, and April quickly wrapped up the phone call and hung up. Alex her heard sigh, and pull herself up on her crutches. April then slowly made her way out into the living room. He glanced up and inclined his head in greeting as she carefully moved to the room and settled on the couch next to Alex. He gulped and shifted at little at how close she was. He could feel the heat coming from her body and her leg was mere centimeters away from his. Alex's eyes darted down and then back to the game. He chewed his food. It didn't really matter how close April sat. Really.

Once she had settled on the couch, removed her crutches, and rested her leg on the coffee table, April reached for a few nachos.

Alex couldn't resist teasing, "Mooch."

April only rolled her eyes and took a few more chips, sliding a coaster down the coffee table in his direction, "You'll stain the wood."

Oh, she's grumpy. He huffed and settled his beer bottle on the cork circle. She peered at the tv and stayed silent for a moment, looking downcast.

"Uh, who's playing?"

"Huskies. Losing. Whatever."

"Mhmm." Another sigh, and now there were pursed lips.

Alex knew April didn't really care about the game. He could tell that something was bothering her. So, after sitting in silence for a few plays, Alex turned to look at April.

"Which one was that?" he asked, taking a sip of his beer. "On the phone?"

"Big sister, Libby. Married to Mike. Share the farm with my parents. Claire and Tiffany, 7 and 5," April rattled off, like a medical bullet, in a habit they'd developed early on in her hospital stay, because Alex had trouble keeping track of all her relatives. He almost believed that April was related to half of Ohio. She well could be. It wouldn't surprise him.

"You uh, didn't want to talk to her?" Alex asked tentatively.

April tilted her head to one side and muttered, "She calls. Every. Single. Day."

Alex shrugged and fidgeted with the bottle in his hand. He kind of got that. It could be annoying to have people on your case all the time. Yet, he knew what it was like not to have any family really worry about you. That felt worse. April had started to make him think of family differently.

"You know," he began. "She's probably really worried about you."

The fact that Alex was throwing April's own words back at her didn't escape her. She sighed again, and blinked rapidly. He didn't usually have to prompt so much. She was usually inclined to talk about feelings and crap.

"I took your advice," Alex continued, shrugging slightly. "That day, in the ambulance. After they took you into surgery...I called Amber. She really was just worried. Because of the earthquake and all."

April made a sound in her throat and slowly looked over at him.

Alex pushed forward, "This is like the same thing. Only you actuallygot hurt. You're her kid sister. She just wants to know you are okay. You're lucky to have that. Even if they are annoying...your folks care about you. It's...uh, not everyone gets that."

Alex certainly didn't. Her eyes widened. Alex guessed April hadn't expected him to call Amber in the end. She still wasn't talking though.

"You can talk to me or whatever, if you need too. I'll listen."

April's eyebrows arched sadly, "I know. I know. It's just...Libby's never been good at talking about Seattle anyway... and it's not like we can really talk about my leg and stuff. It's just this great big thing in my life that she doesn't want to touch with a ten foot pole. She was the same way after the shooting."

"She might not want to make you feel like bad or whatever...she just might not be that good at it."

"Yeah. I know that too. Instead she talks about her life, and Mike and the girls. And I can usually do that. I don't mind. I used to love to. Just right now, I'm...I can't listen to that right now. I am never gonna have it, and I have to let it go. And I just can't...I'm still letting it go."

What? Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the hell was she talking about?

Alex grimaced and stared at April incredulously, "I don't get it."

April sighed, shaking her head, "I can't hear about the ballet recitals, and the PTA meetings, and the anniversary gifts right now. Not when four weeks ago my perpetual virgin status pretty much became permanent. I'm not going to have that kind of life. I am going to end up alone. I've never been normal. I'll be okay with that someday. I'll be able to listen and be happy for her and all that someday. Just not right now. Not tonight."

Yeah, Alex thought it was a little weird that April was 29 years old and had never had sex. It wasn't something you heard about every day. And it was a little freakish from his perspective. But, then again, everyone had their own weird crap. He did. Crazy chicks, bullet wounds, family history of mental illness...Alex also figured she'd avoided a lot of bullshit over the years. He still didn't quite connect how now she thought she'd be alone forever with her virginity and getting hurt in the earthquake.

"What do you mean you'll end up alone? That's crap."

April gave Alex a withering look and started to get animated, "No, it's not. I was never the kind of girl guys wanted be with. I'm-I'm annoying and neurotic, and ordinary and my voice grates. I am aware, and the scars and being crippled thing doesn't really help matters."

She looked at her legs, and pulled her arms to her chest, where her incision was healing, "I wasn't winning any beauty contests before, and now I'd say my chances are non-existent. I'll get over it. I can handle it. I just-need to let it go."

She thought she wasn't good enough for someone to love her? That her leg made her less attractive? Alex could believe how April could be so hyper-aware of some things and so completely clueless in others. She was attractive, more than attractive, and Alex could admit to himself that he totally dug her. If he'd realized how he felt about April sooner, if he hadn't messed things up, if he wasn't such a pig, he'd...what? Date her? Love her? Totally. It was freakin' scary that Alex admitted that actually. Not that it mattered. He'd screwed his shot up already, long before he realized what April was.

"You're hot, April," Alex said, gently turning her to face him, urging her to believe him. "I've always thought so."

"Yeah, right," she set her jaw.

"I am guy, I know these things. Your hair is...uh, you know...and you curl it and it looks good. And your smile is...it lights up your face and you've got this really great 'nice person' thing going for ya. Sure, you can be a little annoying, but everyone is sometimes. But you are hot. Then and now. You're still...beautiful or whatever."

"You're just saying that," April snapped, turning away from him and folding her arms. "You made it very clear last year that I'm not."

Oh. That. The on-call room. When Alex had blown it without even realizing what he might be losing. That had been a hard time for him. Aaron had just been diagnosed, after he tried to kill Amber. He'd had his brother committed, he'd had a brilliant idea and that asshole attending Stark had stolen it. And then April...Alex just hadn't been in a good place at the time. But he guessed from her perspective things were obviously different. And he'd certainly never told her the truth. He wasn't eager to face it.

"April..."

She sniffed and refused to look at him. "It's fine. It was a long time ago. You don't need to humor me, okay?"

"I'm not just humoring you. That…" Alex struggled, unsure of how to proceed. Maybe he could explain, if only to make April feel better about herself. "That...that had nothing to do with you. That was all my own crap, alright? It's on me. I messed up. Nothing to do with you at all. I-I didn't go to Vegas that weekend. I went home. To...Iowa."

Here was a crossroads. Did he really want to tell her the truth about all his family issues? He really didn't tell that many people. He didn't like to think about it, let alone talk about it. It was years before he'd told his closest friends many details about his childhood. And most of that had only been because a surprise visit from Aaron had forced him too.

April had turned to face him now, and was looking at him carefully. Her proximity to his body still made Alex feel a strangely electrified. Could he tell her? Should he? Because how he'd treated her was still unacceptable. There was no excuse.

Somehow, Alex needed to prove to April that she was wrong about herself. To repair the damage that his actions had caused her. And the truth seemed to be the only way forward.

"My, uh, I have a brother, Aaron. He's the middle kid between me and Amber. And he lived at home in Iowa with our mom and Amber. My mom's always had, uh...well she's been diagnosed with some mental health issues, and Aaron...he-" Alex stared at his hands uncomfortably.

"He got diagnosed too," He laughed humorlessly. "They figured it out when he tried to kill my little sister. She was 16. He tried to kill her. So, that weekend I was home signing papers to have him committed, and checking on my sister in the hospital."

"Oh God. That's terrible." April gasped, and Alex glanced over to see horror spread across her face.

He sighed and continued, "And I...that was the first time I'd been back home in 8 years. Growing up...well, I'm just not the guy who stays. When they need me, I just can't. I can't go back there and make it you know? Too much crap happened to me in that house…I'm not the brother who stays. And even when you know that about yourself, it still feels like shit when you leave your sister behind. Even if you always do. So, that's...what kind of a weekend I was coming off of. Not much of an excuse."

"And your Mom and Dad? Weren't they with you?"

"April, my mom is...she just has bad patches. And the whole Aaron thing put her on a rough patch again. She couldn't help much," Alex answered. Really that 'bad patch' was still on-going. He continued, "And my dad...he, uh...left when I was a kid. Whatever."

April moved closer to him reaching over and taking Alex's hand. "I am so sorry."

He didn't want pity. Or need it. "It is what it is...anyway, that's my crap. Like I said, be glad you have the family that you do. And the point is, believe me when I tell you: You are hot. I'm more than aware of the chance I lost. I blew it and I treated you like crap. There's no excuse."

"Lost chance? You still think..."

"Well, yeah. Not just for a hook up or whatever...I mean, I've gotten to know you better now, and I see what I missed out on. I screwed up. I still think you're hot because you are. And it's more than your looks, alright? You're...good. You're a good person, April. Anyone would be lucky...to uh, love you."

April's jaw was practically on the floor and she blinked rapidly. Alex guessed that behind her eyes she was thinking a mile a minute. She squeezed his hand gently and Alex thought about what he really was missing out on. His family life had kept him from having a lot of normal childhood experiences, but now it seemed like it was keeping him from having things as an adult, namely his shot with April.

"I-I...you could have said something. You should have said something"

"Yeah, right," Alex snorted, staring straight ahead. "Remember how I was with you then? It was before we even sort of talked like this...I doubt it would have mattered."

"Alex!" April countered. "I-I would have understood. I do understand, and...it's not your fault. I mean I knew, I know I am not the kind of person who...does that...in on-call rooms anyway. I shouldn't have even let things go that far in the first place. But it was you and..."

What did she mean anyway? Alex kept his eyes determinedly fixed on the tv, too guilty to face her. At the same time he could almost feel her staring at him. He heard her take a deep shuddering breath.

"But it was you and I...I liked you," her voice dropped to a whisper. "I...I still do."

Alex tilted his head and slowly turned to face her. She couldn't mean...surely she didn't still like him. He'd been awful to her for so long, there was no way she could ever even possibly still be attracted to him.

"April..."

She held a finger to his lips. "No...Alex. I am allowed to forgive you. I can. I do."

April squared her shoulders and breathing deeply. Her eyes were bright in the reflected light of the tv and open very wide. Alex expected her to launch into some philosophical ramble about forgiveness or something. Or some crap about how sorry she felt about his family.

Basically, Alex expected her to talk more. Not lick her lips and pull him into kiss. That had never even crossed his mind. Ever. April kissing him? Completely unexpected.

And what a kiss it was. Her lips were soft, and for all April's lack of confidence in most things, Alex would assuredly label her as a good kisser. All of the sparks and the tingling feelings he'd had had just from her sitting that close to him seemed to bubble to the surface, magnified. And everything he'd felt in the on-call room back then was still there and it was thrilling. He lifted his hands to her cheeks. Alex closed his eyes and surrendered for just a moment, kissing her back, letting himself feel all the sensations, before gently pushing away.

He still held her cheeks and smiled a little sadly. April stared back at him, with a wide eyed expression of panic mixed with delight. She seemed giddy at her own boldness.

"April-"

"Life is too short," she interrupted. "I mean, if there's something I've gotten out of this whole disaster it's that. I like you, and you said...you said...and why can't we just, just- go for it now?"

"Because I'm a douche. I've already treated you like dirt."

"That was before."

"Doesn't matter."

"If I forgave you it does."

"Not really."

April let out a frustrated breath and glowered at him. "I'm socially awkward."

"I'm an ass."

"Ithink too much." She wasn't seriously trying to out list him with reasons not to date her. Alex knew his list would always win. He was a pig.

"I'm no good for you."

She shook her head vehemently and took his hand again, "That's not true. You have been and you are. I don't think I'd be coping with all of this if it wasn't for you. You saved me when I was trapped down there and you've been good ever since. You make me feel...awesome. Strong. Like I can do this. Like it will be okay. You are definitely good for me.

Alex swallowed and remained very still. April thought he was the reason she was doing well. Sure, he'd done her first aid in the building collapse and helped her get out. But everything afterward had been her. She'd pulled through the surgeries and avoided complications. That was all her. Surely, Alex had just been around to support her and stuff. Because he'd realized she mattered to him, and he'd chosen to act better. Could it really be true that April...that Alex was someone who mattered to her? That he just might have a chance, one last chance to try being good? Alex wasn't sure he believed it, but oh, he wanted to.

"So what exactly are you saying we do, April?" he finally said, feeling her out, and trying to see where she was going with all of this.

April was a little flummoxed, "Well, we...we could get to know each other better. Hangout, I mean, we're already kind of doing that, sort of-and I mean, we-we could just...go…eat places, talk more, or..."

Alex smiled in spite of himself, "Are you asking me out? You want to hangout, like dates? You want to go on a date?"

She bit her lip and looked away, "Yeah...I'm sorry, I know I'm not good at any of this stuff. It's just...we could just do that and see how it goes..."

April laughed nervously, "Like normal people."

Like normal people. Maybe a stretch for them, but Alex could hardly believe his luck. April was asking him to go out with her. In spite of all the taunts, the yelling, the insults. Even after he'd rejected her in that on-call room. She was still willing to give him a shot. He probably should say no. He probably should decline. He'd just end up hurting her, like he did everyone else. Or he'd end up getting hurt. He always had. And Alex wasn't sure he'd come back from getting hurt again.

April looked mortified by now, dropping his hand, she started to pull away, "I-I'm...really s-sorry. If you're not interested that's-that's t-totally fine. I mean, we'll just have to forget about the whole me kissing you th-ing...and I-I-I'll just-"

And yet...And yet? Alex wanted to do it. He wanted to try dating, 'like normal people' or whatever. Despite all the crap, and the crushed heart and the crazy history he'd dealt with. Somehow Alex thought things could maybe be different with April, and he didn't want to lose that chance, gambling that it would fall apart. She was different. He thought he could be different for her. April was asking him to try. He was already messed up anyway, how much worse could it get? How much better? Alex knew it was a leap of faith. He'd take the chance.

"Okay."

"I-what?"

Alex grinned at April leaning closer to her, "Okay, I'll go on a date with you. We can...see how it goes."

He gently rested a hand on hers, "Like normal people."

April's look of surprise dissolved into a shy smile. She turned her hand so it slipped into his, and quietly repeated, "Like normal people."