A/N: Again, sorry for the delay guys! Is it just me or does the ffnet login seem to freak out every week? Odd. Anyway here is chapter 8. All research for this chapter was done on the internet. Thank you for all your support for this story and I hope you continue to enjoy it. Let me know what you think! Chapter 9 next week. Thanks for reading.


Alex stood, fuming, in the slowly descending elevator. Of all the stupid, short sighted, immature, unstable, things for his sister to have done. Getting herself kicked out of the best school in Davenport? Half way through her senior year? Bumming her way across the country? Hitch-hiking? Anything could have happened to her. Maybe it had for all Alex knew. Amber was 17 freaking years old. How could she ever have thought hitch-hiking to Seattle was a good idea?

Alex lifted his hands to his head and ran them through his hair. The elevator felt like it was moving at an agonizingly slow pace. He scowled and angrily pounded the floor button with one finger.

"Come on!"

And how the hell had Amber managed to get kicked out of her school? The school that was her best shot at getting out of Iowa. At succeeding and making it. St. Xavier's was ten times better than the school Alex had gone to. Amber was a smart kid, someone who could maybe really go places in life. If she could get a good education. And scholarships of course. But she'd blown it. Blown it. Maybe she'd snapped too. Like his mom. And Aaron. Like everyone.

Mom. Crap. Alex didn't want to think about what this would do to their mother. Amber said on the phone that she'd just left; just walked out and left. Their mother must be crazy with worry. He chuckled slightly at his internal choice of words. Crazy.Well. That was the one word his life always seemed to come back to. Crazy.

Alex berated himself for not expecting the other shoe to drop. It always did.

Things with work had settled down, he was studying for boards, learning all he could about peds, and he felt like he had a really good shot at getting the pediatric fellowship. Plus, 'the dating thing' with April was really nice, great even. It was different. Different than what he was used to with women, but that didn't mean it was bad. Alex actually liked how things were going. Who would have thought almost losing April in an earthquake would be what it took to make him willing to try?

He would even have cautiously described himself as happy, for the last month or so. Which was the longest he'd been happy since before Izzie left, if he really thought about it. He'd relaxed. Let his guard down.

But nothing ever lasted. Alex should have known better than to relax. He should have known.

When the elevator reached its destination and the doors finally opened, Alex all but flew out of the small space and into the long hallway that led to the main lobby. As he rounded the corner and saw a waiting area, he caught sight of his sister.

Alex was taken off guard for a moment, struck by how grown up Amber looked. Granted, the last time he'd seen her, she'd been laying in a hospital bed with hand shaped bruises on her throat, looking small and fragile. And before that he hadn't seen Amber since she was a child of what? 8 or 9? Alex hadn't been back to Iowa in 7 years when Aaron flipped out. And he hadn't been back since.

Amber sat, sprawled out in a chair with her arms crossed, looking sullen, her eyes reflecting the same anger that he felt. What did she have to be angry about? Amber was the one freaking messing up her life. She looked disheveled, her clothes were tattered and wrinkled, and she had huge dark circles under her eyes, making her look surprisingly gaunt. Alex strode up to her, still livid over her decisions.

"Amber! What the hell do you think you are doing?" he yelled, ignoring the looks he got from doctors and other people in the lobby and waiting room.

"Oh, Alex. Not even going to say 'Hello Amber'? 'Nice to see you Amber'? 'How ya been'?"

He completely ignored her sarcasm an continued, "Hitch-hiking? Really? Do you have any idea how freakin' dangerous that is? Anything could have happened to you!"

"Whatever. Nothing did," Amber shrugged and rolled her eyes.

"Why would you even...I just don't get it Amber. Why skip school and come here? It's so stupid."

Out of the corner of his eye, Alex could see Meredith, Bailey, and Cristina heading across the lobby from the pit.

"I'm not skipping school," Amber muttered, glaring. "I got kicked out. And I only came here because I don't want to live in Iowa and I have nowhere else to go. I can't take it anymore. Done."

She couldn't take it anymore? Really? What was so hard about her life? She'd been in a great school. Their mom had the meds Alex sent every month. They had the money he sent each month. She'd been out of foster care for 10 years, and their father wasn't around constantly beating up on her all the time. Compared to Alex's experiences at the same age, Amber's life now was a cake walk. Well, except for that whole thing with Aaron last year. But...that was last year.

"You're done?" Alex sneered. "Great school too much work for ya? Bo freakin who! Get over it. Life is tough. That school was the best shot you had at leaving!"

"Shut up!"

"Alex, what's going on? " Mer was suddenly beside him.

He crossed his arms, "Oh, nothing important. My sister is an idiot. Throwing away her life. Hitch-hiking all over the freakin' 's all."

"I said, shut up!" shouted Amber as she sprung to her feet, standing close, and glaring up at him.
Alex leaned forward and opened his mouth to shout right back, but suddenly Cristina's hands were on his shoulders and Dr. Bailey was there now too.

"Dr. Karev! This is a hospital. You need to keep your business outside the lobby."

Even though Meredith and Cristina were trying to hold him back, Alex leaned toward his sister once again.

"You're making a scene," he grumbled. "This is my freakin' job. These are my colleagues. I work here. I have to do surgery in an hour, and you just come in and..."

It was the same sort of crap his mom used to pull at his school functions and games when he was a kid. Before the meds they had now. Maybe Amber really was unstable. Or maybe he was just being paranoid, and she was just being 17.

Maybe, for Karevs, it was a fine line.

"Well, then maybe I should have just gone and found Dad, and run away to him instead!"

The hell she would. Amber had been a very small child when their father left. She didn't know what he was like. She didn't remember when he'd hurt them. Alex did.

He'd barely registered everyone else's arrival, but Alex was now somehow keenly aware of the fact that April had just gotten off of the elevator and was approaching pretty rapidly, given the crutches and all. His eyes flickered in her direction and he felt vaguely guilty that he'd just run out on their lunch like he had. And on her first day back and everything. Some boyfriend or whatever the hell her was to her. More like some douche who ran out on her big day.

Well, now April'd see. How messed up he was. How messed up his family was. How bad he was for her. The truth was bound to come out sooner or later. And she wouldn't get it. The meds, and the foster care and the crazy. So freakin' far away from the idyllic childhood of Kepner farm, Ohio.

She wouldn't get it, and when she saw it up close, she'd run as far away from it all as she possibly could. That was why he never told people about it. He'd never even introduced Izzie to his when they were married. Because no one wanted to get involved in crap like this. Alex didn't even want to be. So much for dating. Being normal was fun while it lasted.

April arrived, slightly winded, just as Bailey spoke again.

"I don't think this is the time or the place to be yelling at each other!"

"We wouldn't be if Amber hadn't dropped out and bummed her way halfway across-"

"Fuck you, Alex. Like you even care what happens to me anyway."

Whoa. You never expect your kid sister to cuss you out. He'd never heard her really swear before. It went against every memory he had of the sweet blonde little girl who'd used to tag around the house after him. But deep down, he knew that on some level, Amber had a right to feel the way she did. It wasn't like he stayed with her or took care of her. Even in her darkest hour. Alex had never been good at facing his mother's condition, let alone dealing with Aaron's. He'd failed as a brother, because he was too weak to handle reality.

Alex's nostrils flared, and he felt Cristina's grip tighten on his scrubs. April hovered at the edges, mouth slightly open and wide eyes darting between himself and his sister. Exactly as he'd feared.

He gulped and ducked his head, unwilling to meet her gaze. She could see the whole train wreck clearly now. The whole damn hospital could.


April drummed her fingers on the steering wheel, and shifted uncomfortably as she sat in Meredith's driveway waiting for Amber Karev to wake up. Though she could now drive, it was still a vaguely uncomfortable experience, and sitting in the car extra long wasn't exactly doing her right leg any favors. Still, April knew she'd made the right choice in offering to take the girl to the house. It was only practical. Of course Amber would be staying with Alex, at least until he got things arranged for her to go home, and well, 'with Alex' meant at the house. With everyone.

And 'everyone', all of them in the house, were doctors, working full shifts. Except Lexie, who was already home on her day off, and April because she...because her leg...because she was only just getting back to half days. And it seemed impractical to make Lexie drive all the way to the hospital to pick Amber up. No, it made much more sense for April to do it. She was already there.

Plus, she was kind of with Alex now. His girlfriend, sort of. April wasn't entirely clear on exactly where they stood, since they were just trying the dating thing. Like normal people. But, even with her lack of experience, April knew enough. She might not know exactly how to handle all of this, but she knew that they were something. That she was Alex's someone. And your someone helped you whenever things got tough.

Like Alex had in the immediate aftermath of April's injuries. And he hadn't even been her someone then. April desperately wanted to help him now. Even if she wasn't sure how to help, or what her status with him was, it made sense that she be the one to drive his sister to the house. It just did. She wouldn't pretend that she understood all of Amber and Alex's issues, but she could see the toll it was taking on them, and it made her sad.

So, April figured it wasn't the time to worry about exact definitions anyway.

When April had finally made it to the downstairs lobby, Alex's fight with his sister was in full and audible swing, and she could tell just by looking at Alex that rolled up with all his anger and frustration, was a lot of guilt and self reproach. She didn't know just what it was, his posture or the way his eyebrows twitched when he looked at Amber. April just knew. She hated seeing him that way. He was livid, but there was a haunted look in his eyes, that just made her wish she could...what? Make everything okay for him. Fix it. Somehow.

What she didn't quite understand was the look of shock and surprise on Alex's face when she'd volunteered to take Amber home. He had even tried to talk April out of it, suggesting his sister take the bus, or hitch-hike to the freakin' house, since she was so good at it. April wasn't sure if he thought she wasn't capable of doing the drive, which didn't make sense as she'd been driving for about a week and he'd never tried to stop her. Or he was really that pissed at his sister?

Or worse, had Alex tried to talk her out of it because he thought she didn't really want to do it? Because he thought she didn't really care. But April did. She cared a lot. So much so that she already had a plan to research information on runaway and problematic teens, so Alex could have a strategy or something. So he could know what do. So Alex could have an idea of just the right thing to do, and not what his anger told him to do. Or his guilt.

April had a plan to help, for whatever it was worth. She had a plan. As soon as she got into the house that is.

Alex's sister was curled up in the passenger seat and clearly exhausted.

When the transportation was arranged in the lobby, she'd thrown one last jab at her brother, shouting, "Oh, so you're all pissed that I'm riding around with strangers and now you send me off with another one?"

She'd tersely acknowledged April's stiff introduction and then Amber had said nothing more to April as they walked to the car. She'd fallen asleep before they'd left the SGMW parking lot. April was more than willing to let the teen sleep, if only for a little while. Amber's journey here certainly couldn't have been comfortable or easy.

A squirrel suddenly darted across the hood of April's car, and the small noise it made was enough to rouse the teen from her sleep. She brought a hand to her mouth and yawned, blinking drowsily as she eyed April suspiciously. Looking at her like she'd done something ridiculous. The expression on the girl's face wasn't all that unfamiliar actually. Alex kind of looked at her like that when April did something he didn't understand.

"Uh, well, we're here," April said awkwardly, fumbling for something to say. She gestured to the house vaguely, still uncertain about whether Amber would even be talking to her.

Amber glowered and stretched. Rubbing her eyes she turned and looked at April.

"How long have we been parked?"

"About fifteen minutes..."

"You sat here for fifteen minutes?" Amber asked skeptically. "Why didn't you just wake me up?"

April frowned a little and shrugged. "Y-you seem tired. I'm not really in a hurry."

"I guess not. Whatever," Amber said, rolling her eyes as she flung open the car door and stood up, slinging her small duffel bag over her shoulder. April of course, could no longer simply hop out of a car like that. If only.

Sighing she opened her own door, pulled her crutches from the back seat, and began to pull herself out of the car. She'd gotten a lot better at doing this herself in recent weeks, but it still wasn't the quickest thing in the world. Alex teased her that it was worth it because she was getting some major arm muscles and that it was kind of hot. April wasn't so sure about that, but it was kind of cool to see how the rest of her muscles adapted to her leg being weaker. The human body could be really resiliant. And it let her know that her physical therapy sessions were worth it.

April made it out of the car and headed toward the front door, watching Amber carefully. The teen stood in front of the house, head tilted to one side. Opening the front door and moving into the house April waved for Amber to follow.

"Uh, you can come on in."

Amber ran her eyes up and down the building one last time before slowly following April inside. As she placed her bag on the floor near the front door, her expression was around at the empty first floor, April guessed that Lexie was probably upstairs catching up on some well deserved sleep. She decided to go drop her own things off in her room, and after she did, she found Amber in the living room, perched on the edge of the couch arm staring suspiciously at Zola's playpen and toys.

Using the toe of her well worn vans sneaker to point at them, Amber asked, "There's a baby in this house? Something else Alex forgot to tell us?"

Shaking her head vigorously, April moved closer to Amber lifting her shoulders and grinning as she thought of the baby who really did live in the house, "No. Oh, no. No. It's Zola's stuff. Our landlords, Meredith and Derek have a 1 year old daughter. She's a cutie pie. This belongs to her."

Amber pursed his lips and grunted in response before replying, "Well, you can't blame me for asking. It's a logical assumption to make considering my brother got married and divorced without so much as a stupid phone call. We never even met his wife...ex-wife. Whatever. I guess we're just not good enough."

April blinked. She hadn't known that. His marriage, like his family was another topic that Alex didn't really talk about. Things had all gone down before April's time really. Or while she'd been fired. She knew Izzie had been tight with Meredith and Cristina and Alex and that she'd gotten cancer and married Alex. Then she'd survived the disease, but she'd left. Twice. Or something.

Still, not telling your own family about your wedding? Or your break up? Unusual. Secretive. Probably a part of the reason Amber seemed so mad at him. It never felt good when someone in your own family left you out of things. But April was sure Alex had his reasons, even if they might have been misguided.

"Well. That's...that's..." April shrugged. "That's kind of weird, but Alex doesn't always make sense."

"I guess."

Bouncing her leg slightly, and fighting back another yawn, Amber's tired eyes roamed around the room. Silence hung between them for a few moments, and April wondered what the teenager thought of it all. She'd never been great and reading people, and even though his sister was a lot like Alex and she was getting better with him, April didn't quite know what to make of the younger Karev. And she didn't really know what to say. Luckily the teen thus far had seemed very disinterested in talking.

So, she was startled when Amber blurted out her next words.

"How'd you get stuck with this gig? Watching me or whatever? Are you sleeping with my brother? You owe him or something?"

April coughed and sputtered, "Uh, n-no. I mean we're just-we've been...Th-that's not really your business, I think. I care about him, and he cares about you, so I'll help if he needs me to. He helped me. It's not a problem at all. I want to."

"You want to?" was the skeptical reply. "Yeah, freakin' right. No one ever wants to help. I don't need it anyway."

Something clicked in Amber's expression then. Her brows knitted together and her jaw set. She seemed to look down her nose in that same way April noticed Alex did sometimes. Actually Amber looked a lot like her brother. They had the same eyes, very similar bone structure, only the girl's features were more younger and more rounded. The teen's gaze flicked down to April's crutches and back to her face.

"You're the one Alex said got hurt in that earthquake. You almost died."

April blinked. She hadn't know Alex had told Amber that. She knew he didn't call that often, but he'd told her that right after the earthquake he had contacted his sister.

"I did. Yes. That's how..." April tapped the handles of her crutches with her fingers. "I got these. Alex saved my life."

Amber still looked guarded, "Your leg? It'll get better?"

"A bit. Soon I think I'll be down to one crutch. Then maybe someday just a cane. I'd like to even go without that eventually, if it's possible. It won't get all the way better...not like it was before. Still, I know I'm really lucky."

The magnitude of the whole situation still kind of baffled April. But it could have been worse, and this thing Alex was an outcome she was starting to feel really okay with, as strange at that was.

"That sucks," Amber replied. "I-I remember...Um. Alex seemed really freaked out. Worried about you. On the phone that day. When he called. It was different."

"He really has been different since then...at least to me...I think it made him think differently."

"He stayed with you? In the hospital? And after?"

"Yes. In the building when it collapsed, and after. "

"Lucky you. He must really like you. More than he likes me. When I was in the hospital, he left before I woke up," Amber sighed and scratched the side of her neck.

After a beat she added, "I'm sorry about your leg."

April winced. She didn't know why Alex had behaved the way he had. Again, she suspected it had a lot to do with his guilt and his childhood. But she didn't really know much about any of that. April did know that the decision had clearly hurt his sister deeply. And that Alex probably could have handled it better. But it was all in the past. Nothing to do now but move forward.

"I'm really sorry he didn't stay with you. I-I don't think it means...I mean, you shouldn't think...I know he loves you a lot, Amber. He's just-doesn't always do the right things to show it."

Well, that was true, and April didn't think it was overstepping to tell the teenager that her brother loved her. The level of fear and anger Alex was expressing over this whole hitch-hiking thing was proof enough of his feelings. The few times he'd had talked about his sister, it was clear to April that he loved Amber deeply, as bad as he was at demonstrating his emotions. He wasn't good at showing anyone he cared.

Maybe he couldn't exactly tell his sister he loved her, but April thought it was important for Amber to know. Sometimes it was important to hear. Especially when you were 17. Young and unsure of yourself. April might not know much about Amber and Alex's home life, but she did know that in a lot of ways it could really suck to be a girl that age. And that sometimes you just needed to hear that someone loved. That your family loved you.

Amber gulped and blinked rapidly, and the room fell silent again. April sighed and made her way to the front door, gingerly lifting up the girl's duffel bag. It was dusty, a little dirty, and the clothes inside it kind of smelled.

"Um, April?" Amber asked, more tentatively that anything she'd said all afternoon. "I feel gross. I haven't really had the chance to...shower or whatever. Can I, uh?"

"Oh! Sure. Of course," April replied quickly, heading toward the bathroom and holding up the bag.

"If you'd like, I can wash your clothes while your in there. I think I have some old yoga clothes that will kind of fit you. To wear in the mean time?"

"Okay," Amber agreed following April down the hall.

"Fresh towels are right here," April said inclining her head toward in the direction of the linens. Amber's stomach suddenly growled loudly, making the girl's eyes widen in embarrassment.

"Sorry. I'm kind of starving."

Smiling April added, "How about I go ahead and make us some lunch too? Sandwiches sound okay? Do you like avocado? I have one that is pretty ripe and I've got some chicken. Oh! I have cookies too. They're oatmeal raisin, which I know isn't really a 'cookie' sort of cookie. Not like chocolate or sugar. At least according to Alex, but he eats them anyway and I've always liked them so..."

April trailed off realizing that, as ever, her nerves made her prone to rambling.

"You don't have to give me all of that stuff...I mean I can p-pay you back or whatever...and you don't have to make it and stuff...your leg..."

"Don't worry about it. I always buy extra food anyway. Your brother eats all mine. And...I want to help you, you know. As much as I can. Really."

Amber's eyes darted to the floor as she grabbed a new towel, and spoke quietly, "Thanks."

"No problem at all. I promise. I'll just eave the clothes on the counter, okay?"

Laundry. Lunch. Towel duty. April was familiar with stuff like that. She knew food and folding all too well. She couldn't change or understand everything that had happened to Alex and Amber. And maybe she couldn't take their pain away. But she could run loads of laundry. And fix a few sandwiches. Fresh clothes and a full stomach go a long way in feeling better. Small things. She could do what she could do.

And April could hope that all the small things added up together might make the harder things easier for Alex and Amber to bear.


Meredith carefully ascended the stairs, with her sleeping daughter in her arms, heading for the master bedroom and the girl's crib. Gently lowering Zola into her crib, she felt relieved that the little girl was generally a very good sleeper. With the exception of a memorable bout with a cold and some teething, Meredith' baby wasn't prone to waking up at all hours of the night. Girl liked her sleep.

It was especially a lucky trait on nights like this when Derek had to pull a night shift, and Meredith was tired from an unreasonably long and stressful day. They'd worked on a woman with a massive tumor near the brain stem, and Meredith could really understand why the poor thing had been turned down by every other neuro surgeon around. Somethings you just could not fix. And this was one of them as it turned out. The patient had died on the table. Never a great end to your day.

That professional stress coupled with the ongoing personal issues of her friends was enough to make Meredith tired. Cristina and Owen were blowing up at each other all over the place. They'd started going to therapy, which hopefully would make a difference. Watching her best friend have marital problems was difficult. Even if Meredith hadn't always liked Owen, for Cristina's sake she hoped that they could work things out.

And then, out of the blue, Alex's sister had shown up and they'd had a huge shouting match in the hospital lobby that morning. Up until that point, things in his personal life had been going rather well recently. Meredith hadn't been so worried about him. He and April were basically dating. She'd come home from work and find them cuddled together on the couch watching the tv, Alex griping if it was a movie April picked, and April meticulously pointing out every rule infraction if Alex insisted they watch sports. It was ridiculously cute.

Meredith didn't know how it had started, but knowing how much she'd seen Alex change after April almost died, she thought it was good that he was really making an effort with her. It was different for him, but again Meredith knew that he was capable, and that this whole thing was probably very good for him. He'd seemed happy.

That is, until Meredith had found him screaming at his little sister in the middle of the hospital. Not a high point for any of the parties involved. There were only a few times Meredith had ever seen Alex get that worked up, which was really saying something. And of course there was no way Alex and Amber could fight like that in the lobby, so Meredith had convinced him to let his sister go to the house while he finished his shift. Then they could both cool off those Karev tempers.

In the end poor April, finally back to work, though only for half days, had been the one to take the angry teenager away from the hospital.

Meredith had no idea what she'd come home to that evening, given how volatile the Amber had seemed at Seattle Grace. And April, as sweet as she was, was never someone Meredith would expect to be very good at dealing with volatile people. So Meredith came home prepared to do some stern talking of her own, ensuring that Amber knew that she was a guest in this house only as long as she behaved, and didn't disturb Zola.

But she'd come home to a quiet house. Meredith had passed Lexie and April talking quietly in the kitchen over what looked like a plate of cookies on her way to the master bedroom. Amber was nowhere to be seen.

Once she was sure her daughter was settled, Meredith ventured down the hall and peered into Alex's bedroom. Her friend's sister lay curled up under quilt on the bed, breathing deeply, so deeply asleep she was dead to the world. Maybe things hadn't gotten so heated. Maybe without Alex here, they hadn't had to.

Making her way down stairs into the kitchen, Meredith joined her own sister and April at the kitchen table. April looked up first and asked, "Uh, did Alex finish his procedure?"

Meredith pulled up a chair and sat down saying, "I think it ran a little long, but he should be home soon. If he comes right home. So, how's it been with Amber?"

"Mostly fine," April answered, chewing on a mouthful of cookie. "She was hungry and tired so I made sure she ate and let her sleep. I don't-I didn't really know...It's all I could think to do..."

Lexie slid the plate of cookies in Meredith's direction, "Poor kid. She really must have been starving. April made her like 3 sandwiches for lunch. And then she ate a ton of meatloaf for dinner. We don't think she ate much, uh, on the trip over here."

Meredith grabbed a cookie and watched as April pulled out her little red notebook and pointed to a page toward the back, wide-eyed, "She's lucky that apparently her biggest problem is food. I mean-um, she didn't say anything bad happened. Hitch-hiking is so dangerous. It's a wonder she even made it here. Do you have any idea how many girls her age just disappear? According what I've read, way more than you might think..."

Looked like April had been researching again. Well, maybe that was a good thing. All three women sadly shook their heads.

"Well, she's not the first person in his family to randomly show up after making questionable personal choices," Meredith added ruefully remembering when Alex's brother Aaron had shown up out of the blue with a potentially life threatening untreated condition.

"Aaron..." Lexie agreed.

"Oh," April sighed. "It's all so sad. Alex never talks about what happened to them. His family, I mean. He hints but..."

Meredith shrugged, "He never said much to us about it either. We didn't even know Alex had a brother for years. Until he showed up."

Grabbing another cookie, and eating it carefully, the red-haired resident frowned slightly, "Alex is probably still going to be mad when he comes home, isn't he?"

Remembering Alex and Aaron's huge fight in the hospital two years previous, Meredith nodded. It seemed like Alex had only wanted to get his brother medical help, and then get him out of Seattle as quickly as possible. Like he wanted to keep the his two worlds separate. In some ways, Meredith got that. It would have been nice to exist in the hospital as a doctor completely separate from her mother's legacy. But everyone knew about the saga of Ellis Grey, from her affair with Dr. Webber to her Alzheimer's, so Meredith had never been able to even try to segregate things.

"Probably. But he only gets this angry when he is really scared," she agreed, remembering Alex's emotional responses to Izzie's cancer. He'd been terrified and prone to lashing out. But Meredith knew Alex well enough to see that he usually lashed out to protect himself. "He is only mad to cover that up."

April continued, "I mean, he should be angry because of the hitch-hiking, but he has to be reasonable. Teenagers make mistakes. I don't think it's unfixable."

April probably thought nothing was beyond repair. Except maybe her leg, but Meredith was damned if the other resident hadn't slowly seemed to find a silver lining even in that, through Alex. She wasn't sure she agreed, but then again her own life had had a major turn around in the past few years. Maybe it wasn't so naive to hope. But Alex didn't accept advice or help easily. He hardly ever let anyone in. His family had been his responsibility and his alone for so many years. And a lot of people had let him down.

But April...he'd let her look after his sister for the afternoon. At one time, Meredith thought Alex would have cancelled his surgery and ditched out on work for the rest of the day. But today, however reluctantly, he'd trusted April. And his list of trustworthy people, as far as Meredith knew, was very short.

"Maybe you can tell him that. He might listen to you," Meredith added.

April stared at her hands and mumbled, "I don't know. Probably not."

Meredith glanced at Lexie, uncertain about how much to actually say about her conversation with Alex on the night of April's surgery. That night made her think that her friend's deep feelings for April might be enough. It might be enough for him to finally be willing to accept a little help with his family from people who cared about him.

Lexie shrugged and glanced to the clock over the stove, "Well, my shift starts in half an hour, so I should probably head out."

She rose and headed out of the kitchen. "Goodnight guys. Hope things don't get too crazy around here. And April," Lexie turned and gave her housemate a pointed look. "Dinner was nice. Thursday we'll get lunch, remember? No skiving off to eat with Alex instead just because you can. Bros over hoes."

Meredith chuckled slightly, as April's brow furrowed and she nodded quickly.

Sighing and stretching slightly, Meredith rose to her feet too.

"I'm actually going to call it a night too. Baby's asleep, I'm asleep. Or I should be. Hopefully there won't be anything that wakes us up tonight. You going to stay up and wait for Alex?"

The question seemed hardly worth asking, because Meredith was sure that she knew the answer.

Sure enough, Kepner nodded rapidly, "Uh, yeah. I will."

As she moved to leave the kitchen, Meredith passed by April and squeezed her shoulder gently, "Good. That's good."


After a long day, and a long surgery, Alex stood in front of the hospital, breathing heavily, and squinting in the drizzly Seattle night air. He was pissed. He was devastated. He really wanted to get drunk. He'd just spoken on the phone with his mother. Alex had called to make sure that his Mom knew that Amber was in Seattle, and that she was alright. Because of course, if your 17 year old daughter just up and disappeared, you'd be out of your mind with worry, right?

Only his mother wasn't. She was just out of her mind. After only a few seconds on the phone with her, it was clear to Alex that she didn't even know what year it was, let alone what her teenager was doing. She still thought they were all little, and that Dad still lived with them. Mom was definitely off of her meds, and the only time Alex could remember her being more out of things, was when he was very small. Before his father had left. Before Amber had even freakin' been born.

He sighed and ran a hand down his face, and slowly made his way into the parking lot. Alex just didn't know what to do. He sent her the medicine every single month. He sent a good portion of his own earnings to Iowa. It's why he'd been stuck subletting at Meredith's for years. Why he wasn't nearly as caught up on his med school loans as he should be. And for what? If Mom wasn't taking the pills?

It was probably because of what happened with Aaron. She'd been mostly fine until then. Damn it.

Amber shouldn't have runaway. She shouldn't have hitch-hiked across at least 5 states by herself, and she certainly shouldn't have done whatever it was she did to get kicked out of St. Xavier's School. But...damn it. He knew what it was to be with their Mom when she had one of her spells. Her bad patches. It was about the most draining experience he could possibly think of. Worse than a 10 hour surgery. Almost worse than getting shot even. At least then you had the chance to be unconscious for a while.

It was understandable. That you'd want to get out. Because this crap sucks. Made you want to get as far away from it all as humanly possible. He got why Amber felt like that. But she should have called him. Well, she kind of had, he could admit that to himself. But she hadn't really confided in him. Told him it was that bad. That Mom was that bad.

Then again, Alex had never really made the effort to be that close to her. She hadn't felt like he was a person she could tell. Hell, it was actually really lucky she'd still had him in mind as a place to run to. Otherwise who knew where she might have ended up. It was all Alex's fault. He knew that the whole rotten mess was all his fault.

Unlocking his car door, settling in the driver's seat and revving the engine, Alex stared out the back window of his car. He could just make out the Emerald City Bar sign flickering across the street. He could just head over there, and with Joe's help he could forget all this crap for a while. It would be so easy. So goddamn easy. He'd done it many times before. Over his father. His mom. Ava. Izzie. Gary Clark. Lucy. For a dozen other reasons.

But something stopped Alex from going there now. He wasn't sure why, but he felt he couldn't use booze to cope tonight. Not for this. He needed to talk to Amber. He needed to set her straight. She needed to understand how freakin' dangerous her decisions were. Because if she didn't feel she could depend on him, Alex at least needed to know that she could depend on herself. That she knew how to make good choices.

So, instead he guided his car out of the parking lot and drove to the house.

It was late. Most of the windows were dark as Alex silently let himself into the house. His eyes flicked around the dim empty living room. He didn't know where his sister would be in the house.

Alex peered into the kitchen, seeing April sitting at the table, scribbling in her notebook with a stack of printed papers near the far edge of the tabletop. Probably studying for boards or something.

"Alex," April looked up as he leaned into the room, smiling awkwardly. "You're home. Hi."

Ignoring her greeting, Alex focused on his goal, "Where the hell is Amber?"

"Uh, she's upstairs. Sleeping in your room," April replied, blinking rapidly.

"It's not a freakin' hotel, April."

"I know. But she was dead on her feet. She's exhausted."

"Well that's what happens when you bum your way across the country. It's tough. I gotta talk to her."

"You're still angry."

"Of course I am still angry! She messed up."

"I-It's pretty late..."

"She left Mom. She dropped out of school. She needs to know that there are consequences!"

April stared down at her hands glumly, and gulped nervously, "That's t-true. She sort of said-well, I think Amber is just truant at school, that's a suspension, not dropped out...if that makes a difference. And it's really late. Zola and Meredith are asleep too. You're tired. And...mad. And you're not g-going to accomplish anything tonight that you w-wouldn't be able to in the morning."

So, April was suddenly the expert on his own ability to deal with this? It wasn't even her problem anyway. It was his crap. She shouldn't even worry. She didn't understand it anyway.

"Whatever! I can handle my own family. Butt out!"

"I-uh-sorry. Sorry, I just," April hunched down over the table. "I want to help."

"This is not your problem!" Alex struggled to control his anger, but he knew he was failing miserably. Here was the death knell of 'operation don't be an ass'.

"Well, I-I don't think Amber is a problem. I mean, she's your sister, you shouldn't think of her like that. She's 17. And she is a part of your life," her voice wavered. "So...so am I right? You've been handling things all by yourself for so long...And I just th-thought maybe I could..."

April had been a part of his life. But no one wanted to be wrapped up in any of this. His family crap? She simply couldn't be a part of this. Nobody would ever choose to. And he could never ask them to. It was probably the reason why nothing had ever worked out with anybody. Not with Izzie or Lucy or anyone.

Alex could never let them all the way in. Never ask them to take on all the disaster that went along with his family. And he could never fully be free of it. Even if he only went home every 7 years. It always came back to bite him in the ass. He was trapped. So, maybe this was the end. And maybe a month was all they'd get.

"You think you can help with this? This in so far above your freakin' head!" Alex felt his anger boil over in full force. Damn it. He was helpless to control it. He gestured animatedly between the two of them.

"In case you haven't noticed, April, there is a huge deficit in life experience between the two of us! This? This? Its more than just my sister. It's my Mom and my brother, and their crazy, and their bad spells and my jackass fucker of a Dad who isn't there! And you don't get it! You don't understand any of it!"

Alex turned and fled the kitchen. He knew that his words would hurt April. He was good at picking words that hurt people. For Alex it could be called something of an art. He never had any problems cutting right down to the things that could cause the most pain. He didn't want to see her face fall. He knew exactly what that face looked like, and it would only make him feel more guilty to actually watch it spread across her features.

At the foot of the stairs Alex realized that he couldn't go hide out in his freaking room because apparently that was where April had set up his sister to sleep. He was almost mad about that, but it did make logical sense. She wasn't the kind of person who was about to let a guest sleep on the couch. And April couldn't go upstairs. And Amber was his little sister. Using his room made sense. But it was damned inconvenient.

Alex made a detour to the living room, doing his best to ignore the sounds of quiet sniffling coming from the kitchen. Damn it. He plopped down on the couch and held his head in his hands. He could see things clearly now. He'd heard this before. When he was a kid. Only then it had been his father yelling at his mother. And the sound of her tears coming from the kitchen.

So here it was. The horrible truth Alex had been afraid of facing his whole freaking life. He was just as bad as his father. Just like him. Scum. Worse.

He heard the scraping sound of a kitchen chair and the shuffling clicks of April walking on her crutches. Alex figured she was retreating to her room. Away from him, and all his cruel ways. At least she could do that. Could handle herself. She knew enough to leave. Was able to leave. Not like Mom.

Alex froze as he heard April pause behind the couch. She didn't move for a few moments, and then...? What? He looked up to she her coming around the side of the couch. She hovered at the far end of the furniture, eying him apprehensively. She bit the inside of one cheek and gingerly lowered herself onto the couch, slipping her crutches from her arms and leaning them next to her.

It wasn't like one of their dates though. They weren't close. They weren't touching. Alex sat near one arm, and April near the other, with a whole empty cushion between them. He scowled and looked down again, sniffing. She shouldn't be around him. He'd only mess up. He'd only hurt her. Like his father hurt his mother. Like he'd hurt his sister.

They sat in silence a for few minutes, until April took a shaky breath and began to speak softly.

"My life experiences are as valid as anyone else's, Alex. They're...different, than yours ...but they are just as valid. You...you don't have a moratorium on bad experiences. You don't."

Alex glanced over at her guiltily, saying nothing. Good for her, though. Backbone, even if she was weepy. She'd be okay. Not like his mother.

April continued, "I'm sorry. For whatever happened to you. I really am. I know I don't get it. How can I? You never...never talk about it. I understand why you don't want to talk. And it's okay. I don't mind. I don't."

She was shaking her head earnestly, and inching ever so slightly closer to him. "But, if you don't talk about it, you can't yell at me for not knowing. You can't push everyone away because they don't know. Not knowing doesn't mean we don't care, and it doesn't mean we can't help you."

His nostril's flared, and he sighed. "They shouldn't have to. You shouldn't have to. It shouldn't freakin' be like this. Life shouldn't be this full of crap."

Still moving incrementally closer to him April agreed, "It doesn't seem fair. But nothing can make it disappear."

"No."

"And...we're not going to-to leave you, because of all this. Mer's not. I-I don't think Cristina or anyone else is. I...I know I'm not going to."

Alex sighed. He'd been left so many times before.

"And...maybe this is your lifetime's worth of...crap," April added in a high pitched tone. She seemed to fumble over the word she didn't use very often. Way less than Alex used it. It sounded funny to Alex to hear her say it actually.

"Eventually it'll all be smooth sailing. Maybe in 50 years while the rest of us are freaked out about medicare, social security, and broken hips, you'll be laid out on a beach somewhere relaxing. And I'll be complaining about scars, and sunburn and gray hairs," she flicked her hand dismissively, imitating his voice. "And you'll just say, 'Whatever. I already had all my crap.'"

"Heh," Alex chuckled through his closed mouth. April never thought things were just done for. There was always a light on the other end of the tunnel. If only he could feel so sure. Because right now all he could see was the fact that his mom seemed worse than she'd ever been, that his brother was committed, that his sister could have disappeared, and that Alex was no better than his father as a man. No light there. None.

To his shock his half-hearted laughter dissolved into his own shaky tears. What the hell? Alex didn't cry. He hated crying. He hated crying in front of people. And April was his girlfriend. Maybe. Sort of. Not someone you wanted to cry in front of. But he couldn't hold it back anymore. It was like all his anger had converted into this blubbering crap.

"Alex?"

He felt April close the gap between them, her arms tentatively wrapping around his shoulders.

"My Mom-" He struggled uncertain as to why he was speaking. "I called her. She is so out of it. Doesn't even realize Amber is even gone...She wasn't always...I mean yeah, she was always a little different, but she never had episodes like this when I was a little kid. When I was really little, before Aaron and Amber were even born. She was okay. Until my Dad started beating on her."

April began to rub his back, making small circles between his shoulder blades. It was surprisingly soothing.

"I'm sorry-"

"No, you see? It was me. That's the reason he'd start yelling at her. When he first started drinking and yelling. When he started hitting us. It was because of me. Because I was whiny or whatever, and she couldn't keep me quiet. Then, things got worse and he just broke her. It's my fault. And now I'm just freakin' like him. That's why Amber couldn't even call and tell me how bad Mom is. That's why I am not there. I'm just like him."

Alex let April pull hims closer to her, and he rested his head on her shoulder.

"No, Alex. You are not like him," she said, shaking her head. She sounded so certain. So positive.

"You are a good person, Alex. You don't always do good things but...you feel bad about the things you do...I know you do. And it's not your fault. Your mom just has a disease. That's not your fault. It's no one's fault."

Again, April sounded so sure. Alex could tell that she believed what she said 100%. How the hell did he wind up with someone like this? Because, he wanted to believe it. He almost could. And it made him feel better. To have April here. To say some of this shit out loud.

He sniffed and wiped at his eyes. Freakin' tears. Damn it. Suddenly the box of tissues from the coffee table appeared before his eyes. Rolling his eyes he grabbed one and dabbed his cheeks awkwardly.

"You really don't have to do any of this alone anymore, Alex. If you don't want to," April said quietly. "You don't deserve to feel all this guilt. You don't have to do it all by yourself."

But was just it. Taking care of everything alone. Hadn't that been his subconscious self imposed penance all these years? For making his father freak out their mom? For learning to fight so he could made Dad go away? For not seeing the signs in his brother sooner? For not knowing his little sister? Alex wasn't sure he could let it go.

Except, the past month and a half, Alex had been trying to approach life differently. Because of the earthquake. Because of April. And so far, that hadn't been a bad decision. It hadn't lead him wrong. It'd made many parts of his life much better. Maybe he should extend it to dealing with his family.

He sighed, letting out a huge shuddering breath. Somehow Alex felt like he was about to jump out of a plane. And he didn't know if his parachute was going to work. But he was going to jump anyway.

"Okay. You can help. Okay."

April leaned her head on his, "We'll figure something out, okay? For Amber. And your Mom."

Alex shifted his arm so that he was embracing April too, and nodded numbly.

"I may lack life experience's about relationships, but I do know a lot about families. And about sisters," April cautiously teased after a long silence.

He couldn't help but smirk, "Oh yeah? Of course you do. Related to half of Ohio...Lucky me."

"I think we both fill each other's knowledge gaps."

"Yeah...Look, I'm uh, sorry. About what I said earlier or whatever..." Alex said, slipping his hand into hers and squeezing.

"Yeah. I know."

Alex bit back a yawn and stretched. That's the trouble with crying. It made you look like a wuss, and it wore you out. He needed to sleep.

"I guess I am rocking the couch tonight," he said tilting his head toward the stairs and thinking of his slumbering sister in his own room.

"Well, actually..." April cleared her throat and bit her lower lip. "You d-don't...have to. I mean...you c-can stay with me in my b-bed. If you want."

Alex sat up straight and looked at her incredulously. April was inviting him to share a bed with her? Even if he knew that he was unlikely to get laid tonight, he was surprised she would offer for them to share, even for sleeping. April could be strange about stuff like that.

"Really? You'd be comfortable with that?"

"Just to sleep," April said raising one finger and pointing it at his chest. "No...nothing...else. Not that I don't think I want- I mean..."

Her cheeks flushed to the deepest shade of red that Alex had ever seen them. She seemed to shake herself, and continued, "What I mean is...we...I do want to-you know-just...tonight's not the night."

Alex nodded. Amen to that. She'd just seen him cry. Couldn't exactly be a boost to his sex appeal. And that didn't even count all that emotional crap.

"Alright," he agreed. "Tonight isn't the night. We'll just sleep...and uh, thanks. Thank you."

"It's fine. You are more than welcome...You'll have to be careful...when we sleep, I mean, I'm still not really supposed to jostle my leg or anything. I have to prop it up with pillows, so I can only spare one...and you'll have to take the left side of the bed," she added nervously.

"You got it," Alex replied. He could manage that. Easy.

April grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him on the cheek. He stood up, and helped her get back on her crutches, before they carefully walked over to her room. She turned on the light and limped inside, while Alex stayed in the doorway, surveying the room.

"What?"

"So much flowery crap."

"I like it. Shut up," April fired back, a faint smile tugging at her lips.

Alex smirked. Maybe having someone else wasn't so bad afterall. Maybe the parachute would work.