A/N: Well you guys, I have to apologize once again. I know, I know. This chapter is quite late, much later than ever. My grandmother died, so I wasn't feeling much up to keeping my writing schedule this past week, and I spent time with my family. So the chapter wasn't ready or proofread on time. I wasn't in a good place writing the first draft, so editing took a lot longer. Hope you guys understand. Please keep my family in your thoughts, and take a second to tell your own family and friends how much they mean to you. You never know how long you'll have that chance. Now that the chapter is ready, I hope you all enjoy it! I should be back to my normal writing schedule for this week and chapter 12 should be up next Thursday. And I do promise to finish this story. I love writing it and have a sequel planned too. Late weekly updates don't mean I am abandoning it at all. As always, thank you for reading, and let me know what you think.


Alex, Meredith and Cristina stood in the hallway, peering, as best they could, through the blinds of the conference room. From their somewhat hidden vantage point they could see inside. April sat with her back to the window, fidgeting with her crutch, across the long table from Owen. Teddy sat on the long side of the table between both ends. They squinted trying to hear something of what was being said.

Leaning forward, Cristina glanced back to Alex, whispering, "What exactly happened? I heard she did a surgery in the clinic? Interns said April went all MASH on everything. Cracked a guy's chest right there."

"What did she say when you saw her?" Meredith asked with concern.

He shrugged, "She said she did do a surgery. She was acting all weird."

Both Mer and Cristina's heads tilted to one side, Cristina pursing her lips as Meredith's eyebrow arched.

"Okay," he continued. "All weird, even for her. Shocked or whatever. Afraid Hunt's gonna fire her."

Meredith shook her head, "He's won't fire her."

Alex sneered, "If he does, he's a total ass." He glanced to Cristina, "No offense."

She shrugged and a shadow fell across her face, "Right now? None taken."

That didn't sound good. Alex knew that things between Owen and Cristina were tense lately. It must suck.

Alex sighed and shook his head, thinking over the past half hour. He'd just finished doing a surgery, and had been ostensibly studying for boards in April's office, though he was really doing some extra cancer research for Marcello, when April burst in, wide eyed.

He had glanced up and quickly covered his papers, afraid she'd admonish him for looking at cancer treatment alternatives. April however, didn't even notice. She'd barely even acknowledged his presence as she made her way to her desk and sat down. Her mouth hung open and she blinked numbly at her hands as she wrung them nervously in her lap.

"April?" Alex ventured, "What's the deal?"

She shook her head and stammered, "I-I performed an unauthorized s-surgery in the clinic..."

Whoa. Alex had thought, at the time, that even potentially violating any rule was bit out of character. April didn't violate protocol, if she could help it. If she could help it.

"Not just for the heck of it..." he'd prodded trying to get her to explain. There's a certain adrenaline rush, a little high, that you get as a surgeon when you rock a procedure. It could make you act strange. Alex didn't think that this was the deal with April.

"He-he was the bleeding internally and...there wasn't time to wait. He had drugs in his system...there just w-wasn't time."

Alex had uncrossed his leg, rising from the couch and cautiously making his way to April's side, "The patient? He was bleeding? Did he, uh, make it?"

She nodded her head distractedly, "Yes. Yeah, he is in recovery."

He'd been relieved when he heard that. Losing someone on your first surgery after getting back into things wouldn't be the best thing at all.

"Okay, well then, why are you spooked? We're 5th years, we can do solo procedures. Take action or whatever in emergencies. You're not on 'mind altering meds' anymore," he'd teased, trying to get her to lighten up. Rules weren't everything. "No problem."

"Chief Hunt thinks I still need time. That's why I haven't been scheduled for anything. Maybe I'm not ready...I-I paged him, but...but...there wasn't enough time."

Alex tentatively lifted a hand to her shoulder, "You did what you had to. Patient's alright. You did what you had to."

"Maybe. I...I keep going over it, in my mind again and again...and I- I think there wasn't enough time, b-but...if there was enough time for the attentings to get there...and I just...I wanted to do surgery...maybe I should have...gone slower...it could have gone so wrong...what if I made a mistake?"

April still hadn't made eye contact with him so he'd pulled her chair so it swiveled to face brows furrowed, and her shoulders slumped. She'd lowered her head to her hands and muttered in a low whisper.

"Dr. Hunt needs me to meet with him at 4. I'm going to get fired...Fuck."

Despite everything, Alex had chuckled. April never cussed. She didn't swear when cars cut her off on the freeway. Or when she was in a lot of pain. She didn't even cuss in bed. She must really be freaked out.

"Dr. Hunt likes you. You're not gonna get fired. You had to make a call. You did," he tried to reassure April. "And the patient's alive, so it's all good. To get fired you gotta do way worse than that. Look at Mer, she messed up a whole clinical trial and they kept her on. And you weren't here for half the crap we got up to as interns. Nobody ends up fired."

"I did," she said quietly. "I made a mistake, and I got fired. If I did make another one...I'm already on borrowed time."

"You're freakin' Chief resident!" Alex hadn't meant to snap at her, but he just didn't get April's anxiety sometimes. "You gotta have more faith in yourself. Seriously. If you go in there like this, Hunt really will think you did something wrong. Stand by your call. Stand up for herself. You can kick ass when you want to. You should do it more."

April had been so sure that she was on the verge of losing her job, and Alex had been unable to convince her otherwise. No matter what he said. She trusted rules and protocol and authority too much. A hint of doubt was enough to set off April's anxiety. Which, in turn, tended to make her hapless and awkward. But Alex knew that life was more than rules and crap. It never fit into neat boxes like that. You couldn't let it get to you. April shouldn't.

It still bugged him, even after getting to know April. She over-analyzed everything. Alex just didn't get why April was always so insecure. He was beginning to think she didn't even know.

In her office, Alex had thought that this meeting was probably nowhere near as big of a deal as April thought it was. Now as he hovered with Meredith and Cristina, he could hear the raised voices voices of Hunt and Altman. Maybe it was a big deal. But Alex suspected that the 'bigness' of it had nothing to do with April at all.

The muffled sound of Teddy's voice filtered into the hallway, as she tapped her hands on the table to emphasize her words, "I've reviewed this myself. Dr. Kepner's procedure was flawless. She managed her interns well. And the patient survived. You yourself just said that she was medically cleared to do it. "

Owen's response was partially muffled, "I understand...but...even medically...doesn't mean...ready emotionally. And...is her mobility level...think about. In an OR Kepner can... have special accommodations..."

"According to you! That is your assessment. She apparently can do very well on her own in a pinch. This was obviously an emergency."

"I am the Chief of Surgery! I make the decisions!" Owen's raised voice wasn't muffled at all.

"I-" April tried to speak but Hunt and Altman continued to argue as though she wasn't even there.

"Oh yeah," Teddy said caustically. "You make all the decisions right? And you have such a good track record."

"If I could just-" April tried again, but Owen raised one hand.

In the hallway, the three residents leaned even closer.

"Dr. Altman-"

Teddy cut Owen off, "You think that Dr. Kepner isn't capable of knowing her own abilities? Her limitations? That you can make all decisions for her? Like you know what's best for her."

"I am the Chief, and I make the best decisions that I can. To make the best decisions for this hospital. I'm being cautious. "

"You're deciding that you know someone else's emotional state, without even asking them. You're being a coward!"

Alex slumped, and his eyes darted to Cristina, who sighed.

Of course.

It would all come back to the death of Henry Burton. He'd known that it continued to be an ongoing problem for Cristina and Owen, and Owen and Teddy. But with the earthquake, and his sister, and the whole new April thing, he hadn't realized how much it was all still messing with the three of them professionally. It was a crappy situation all around, and clearly none of them were over it.

But crappy or not, Alex felt pissed that friction between Altman and Hunt was tangled up with April. She had a hard enough time already, dealing with her leg injury. And he kinda thought that this whole meeting, wasn't about April's surgery at all. Not really. Only tangentially. Hunt and Altman would probably have disagreed about whatever call April made in the clinic. And there would still have been this meeting. She would likely have been damned if she had done the surgery, and damned if she hadn't.

Suddenly, a loud bang stopped the whole conversation. Someone had slammed their hands down forcibly on the conference room table. At first Alex thought it was Owen, but judging by look on Hunt's face through the partially open blinds, it wasn't. Teddy moved to speak again, and was cut off by another loud slam. But not from Owen.

"Enough!" April said sternly, the rise and fall of her shoulders revealing to Alex how nervous she was, even from behind. Even if her yell sounded confident. Whatever. It shut the two other doctors up.

"Uh," April ventured, much more tentatively. "I don't think...u-um. I don't th-think either of you are t-talking about me anymore...sorry, but...I think w-we should try to k-keep focused this c-case."

Turning their attention to her end of the table, Altman and Hunt seemed too surprised to speak, so April pressed ahead, sounding more and more confident, "I got the chart and began the exam. The patient had obvious injuries on his face and hand. He told me he had a fight."

She took a deep breath, "He also admitted to using illicit drugs. My exam revealed broken ribs. When he started to cough up blood, I had my intern page cardio and t-trauma: 911. His condition deteriorated rapidly, and-and I determined that there wasn't enough time to...to wait for you. I am familiar with the procedure. I felt I could talk my interns through assisting. I had to make a decision. So I did. I chose to operate."

She gulped, "If...I misstepped in any way, then I take full responsibility. I think I made the right d-decision given the circumstances, but I'm h-happy to hear if either of you have any guidance for what could have been done differently. However, for this specific c-case I stand by my work. I believe I made the right call."

"Yes!" Alex breathed. Look at her go. A bit shaky, but April didn't usually say anything or stand up for herself at all. Especially not to attendings. She usually took a lot of crap. It seemed that she had taken his little pep talk in her office to heart. He beamed, unable to contain his grin. She stood up for herself. Sort of. April stood her ground at least. In a mostly nice April sort of way.

Still. Freakin' A.

He could feel Cristina and Mer's eyes watching him, but Alex didn't care and continued to peer into the conference room, where April had stunned the Chief of Surgery and the Cardio Department head into complete silence. So what if he was impressed? He was allowed.

April was being pretty awesome. And she was his...he was her...whatever. He was allowed.

"Kepner," Hunt said finally. "That actually sounded like a Chief Resident. And like someone who is mentally ready to be back in the OR."

"I-I...What?" April sounded shocked.

"I...apologize...I'll admit I wasn't sure about you and your adaptation to your new...after the earthquake. But...makes me reconsider...I might have...wrong. We can...you back on...surgical schedule," Hunt's calmer voice was more difficult to hear, and Alex strained to read the guy's lips.

The rest of the meeting was much more quiet, and Alex, Meredith and Cristina had trouble hearing. When the three occupants of the conference room suddenly stood up, Mer and Cristina gasped and slid down the hallway out of sight, as Dr. Hunt and Altman exited the room with an icy distance between them. Whatever. Alex didn't care if they saw him. He stayed right where he was, arms crossed, and Hunt brushed past him. Altman headed the other way. Clearly they were still pissed at each other. Oh well. April called them on their crap. And she hadn't gotten fired. That was all Alex cared about.

Alex leaned forward on the balls of his feet, waiting for her to come out of the conference room. Finally the door opened and April limped out, her expression only marginally less stunned than it had been in her office, earlier that afternoon. She came to a dead stop when she caught sight of Alex, seemingly surprised to find him there. She raised her eyebrows and shrugged nervously.

His smile grew, and he quickly moved, closing the gap between them, and letting out a low whistle.

"Badass," he whispered as he playfully nudged April's shoulder. "Totally freakin' badass."

She bit her lip and grinned.


April sat nervously in the passenger seat of Alex's car, tangling her fingers in the chain of her silver necklace. They were on their way to an upscale seafood restaurant, Ponti's, on the waterfront. It was a pretty popular and well reviewed place, and April had never eaten there before. Nor had Alex. She felt a little weary because she hadn't exactly been somewhere super fancy since the earthquake and everything, but Alex had insisted.

Because "We should celebrate or whatever. I mean, nice dinners and crap aren't exactly my thing, but we survived a freakin' earthquake! You are doing surgeries again, back in the ER. My mom's back on her meds, and Amber's okay and...We've been, uh, acting like normal people for almost three months. We should celebrate."

How could April say no to that? Even if her limp and crutch still made her anxious. He'd smirked at her and well...of course she'd agreed.

So, here they were, all dressed up and on their way. If only traffic would cooperate. Currently, they were stopped on the I-5. The exit they needed was in sight, but cars were bumper to bumper. Urban rush hour traffic was still something April wasn't entirely used to. It was virtually non-existent in her hometown. Seattle was by far and a way the biggest place she'd ever lived. During her early years at Mercy West, she'd almost always miscalculated the time traffic took. She'd always been on the verge of being late. Until Reed, the lifetime city slicker, had taken pity on her. April sniffed. Even now, sometimes the pain of her best friend's death still felt as raw as when she tripped over her bloody corpse two years prior.

"Come on!" Alex moaned, as they inched forward. April smiled and glanced over at him. He looked very dapper in his suit, though he clearly wasn't used to wearing one. If only Reed could see her now. April wasn't sure if her best friend would even recognize her anymore. Not just because of the leg. Alex basically lived with her. She wasn't a 29 year old virgin. She was chief resident. She was even trying to be more assertive in her job. April felt like a page had turned in her life. Or something.

"Goddamn Washington drivers," Alex growled to no one in particular. "Learn to merge!"

April reached a comforting hand to his arm, "That's just how they drive. We'll get there."

Sure enough, despite the traffic, they arrived at Ponti's in a matter of minutes. Alex made a big show of taking her arm as they went into the dimly lit restaurant.

He approached the host and said, "Party of 2 for Karev. No booths please."

Alex turned toward April, and waggled his eyebrows, "Made a reservation and everything."

"I see," She laughed nervously as they followed the host to their table. She suspected why he was being so goofy. It was because of her. Because he thought she'd be nervous. Self conscious. And April was, as much as she hated to admit it. Alex had to ask for a table because the tight space of a booth would probably make her leg stiff. It felt like the minute she'd come into the place, moving slowly, everyone's eyes had zeroed in on her, and her crutch and her limp. Like she was on display or something.

It was probably all in her head.

Exhaling anxiously, April settled into her seat across from Alex and settled her crutch on the ground beneath her chair. He was watching her carefully, as she gingerly opened the menu, "Are you okay?"

"Uh," April replied, lifting her eyes. "Yeah. It's stupid. I just...I feel like everyone is watching me. Just more of my crazy...stuff."

Alex smirked, "They are staring at you. At us. You're hot. It's bound to happen. It does happen. You just don't usually notice."

As she scanned the menu, she snickered, "Haha. Yeah right."

"Ponti's is known for crab, so that's the thing to try, I guess," he continued pointing out the dish on his own menu. "And people do. Look at you. Guys do. It's a guy thing. Ask Jackson."

April scrunched up her nose. She'd never really eaten crab that much. Alex seemed excited about it, though. Some people loved crab. And she'd had crab cakes before. They tasted alright.

"People? Guys? Like who? You're just saying that to flatter me because you want...you want to..." April flushed deeply, and smirked at Alex. She still didn't think she was really good at, well, the whole coy flirty thing. Especially when it came to the physical side of things. She was trying though. And Alex didn't seem to care.

"But don't worry," she added, clearing her throat. "Planning this dinner goes a long way. It's very nice. Really."

Alex leaned back in his chair and unrolled his silverware, eyeing April in a way that made her heart flutter, "Oh, yeah? I'll remember that."

"And plenty of guys notice you. Dr. Stark, that parking lot guy, the nerdy patient with the broken feet and the costume," he teased, pulling a face.

"Alex-"

"The host, that dude with the mullet who lives across the street, Dr. Olant..." he continued his list.

"My intern? No. That's-"

"Me."

"Oh...I guess you can. That's fine," April giggled, and tilted her head to one side. Alex had a way of making all of her nervousness vanish. This, the dating, the normalcy, the laughter; all had done wonders for self confidence, especially after her leg injury.

But she still had to wonder...well, she'd finally managed to tell her sister Libby about Alex, and her sister's reaction had made her wonder what everything really meant. Libby had had all sorts of questions about 'the nature of things'. Were they just together because of the earthquake? Where they were headed? And on and on. April had never been good with ambiguity. 'Dating like normal people' wasn't exactly a clear cut concrete path. And if April was sleeping with Alex, and if he hardly ever slept slept anywhere but her room, what did that mean? Is there a point when things cross over from 'let's just see how this goes' to 'this is actually going somewhere'? April didn't know. Then again, Libby was always suspicious. And she was a bit of a busybody. This could all be on her mind because of what her sister had said.

April might not know the exact technical status of her relationship with Alex, but she knew it definitely made her happy. Happier than she'd been in a long time, and happy at a time in her life when she had more than enough reasons to wallow. So...screw what Libby thought. Mostly. Because...Libby was her big sister. And April had always kind of cared what Libby thought.

"Doesn't that bother you? If so many guys are noticing me?"

"It used too."

She folded her arms and pouted, "Not anymore?"

"Nah," Alex smirked, looking smug and tapping his chest. "Cause I realized that when they are lookin' at you, you are just lookin' at me. So whatever. It's all good."

They glanced up as a waitress approached the table. She smiled broadly and said, "Hello, you two! Are you ready to order?"

As it turned out, crab not in a crab cake is a bit of an adventure to eat. Both Alex and April stared skeptically at the cooked creatures as their plates were placed in front of them. Logically, she'd understood that the creature would have a shell. It just seemed a lot more solid that she'd imagined. You really had to work for every bite. Definite bonus of crab in cake form as far as April was concerned. After struggling to crack the crab, April managed to get several bites of food. Alex however, had a lot more trouble.

April tried to hold back a bemused smile, because he tried to play it cool, making conversation, even though he was working hard to get to his food.

"I talked to Amber this morning," Alex said, grimacing as he twisted a piece of his food violently, with little effect.

"Oh, that's good. She and your mom are settling in okay?" April replied, gingerly taking a bite of her meal.

Alex winced and hacked at his food even more, "Amber is. Got an A on her government test! Even though she missed like three weeks. My mom is still a little, uh...well. the nurse says she has good days, but she was off her meds for so long that it might take her a while to re-acclimate or whatever. Still, they're both in better shape than they have been in a long time."

"That's great! I'm so happy to hear that."

"Yeah, and um...well Amber asked about you, and your leg or whatever. So, I told her you were down to one crutch. She's impressed."

"Really? That's sweet."

"Well, Amber likes you," Alex said looking down. April blinked and her brow furrowed. If he hadn't have been struggling with his meal, she could have sworn he was blushing. She was glad to hear that Amber seemed to like her. But what exactly did he mean by telling her that his sister liked him? April knew she worried about whether her sisters would like him, if they ever met. Did Alex care if Amber liked April? If he did, could that mean...what exactly?

April didn't have time to answer or sort out her thoughts when she heard Alex grumble, "This is like trying to break into freakin' Fort Knox." He punctuated his statement with another violent twist. He froze, blinking rapidly, as bits of crab flew onto his face.

She guffawed, and then held it back because Alex's scowl and mumbled words showed April that he did feel a bit embarrassed, and very frustrated. "Screw this fancy crap!"

Alex threw his utensils on his plate and began to clean his face off with his napkin. She watched him with concern, biting the inside of one cheek. The crab was hard to eat, but April really thought the whole evening was very sweet. He really had made quite the effort to plan something nice, which she hadn't really thought he was the type to do. He'd tried to plan something she would like. And she did. But April wasn't really sure how to tell him without making him feel more uneasy.

Something clicked in her mind and she was surprised to find herself blurting, "Japanese Spider Crab can grow to be 12 ft from claw to claw, and can live for about one hundred years."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Alex stared blankly at her, his face still smeared with crab and his napkin hovering in one hand.

Dear God. Why on earth did her memory chose to provide her with the only random, useless information she could possibly have? Flushing, April continued fumbling, "Uh, well. That's all I know about crabs...I guess...I-I mean-we're lucky. If eating this crab is like breaking into Fort Knox, cracking a Japanese Spider Crab would be like...um, it would be-"

"Freakin' impossible," Alex snorted gleefully, lifting the napkin to his face and whipping off the rest of the goo. He shook his head and chuckled, raising his eyebrows at April from across the table. "You always gotta look on the bright side, huh?"

She shrugged and Alex tossed the napkin down next to his plate. His laughter was contagious, so April joined in, and their giggles intensified. They laughed so hard, that it made April cover her mouth with one hand and glance around the mostly quiet upscale restaurant. They were definitely the loudest table. And it was an honor that they pretty much upheld for the rest of their time at Ponti's. Normally, April might have been a bit embarrassed for being so raucous, but she really was having way too much fun to care. The whole night was awesome, and it distracted her so much that the questions that had plagued her mind earlier in the dinner all but disappeared.

Until much much later that is. Because she was April Kepner, and things were always ruminating somewhere in her head.

The thoughts began creeping back into her mind after they'd finished...after they'd...well after, as they lay next to each other, staring at the ceiling of her bedroom for a moment, each trying to catch their breath. Alex stood up and headed over to the trash can near her closet to...dispose of the...to clean up, and April shifted and pulled the sheets closer around her body as she propped up her right leg. It started simply enough. The questions and ideas. They came sideways, like always. She'd start thinking of one thing and end up somewhere else completely. That's the way her mind worked. She watched him, and she suddenly wondered what her sisters would say if they knew that she was in a room with a naked man right now.

Kimmie, who was always a little too literal, even worse than April herself, would probably think that it had to do with work. Like April was giving a guy a physical or something. Alice would make a joke, like hell had frozen over, or that pigs had to be flying somewhere, because April, naked with a naked guy in the same room? Unheard of. She could see it now. Alice would have her head thrown back in laughter, while Kimmie would be leaning forward, totally confused as to what was so funny. And Libby...Libby.

April knew that Libby would just give her one of those concerned, purse lipped expressions. She would want to know exactly why April had a naked Alex in her room? And what happened that could possibly result in such nudity? And why had April...done it? April was sure that if her sister hadn't married Mike, her high school sweet heart at age 20, she would have chosen to remain a virgin until she wed. Whether that was 20 or 40. And April didn't necessarily...well, she was glad she'd waited for someone who understood her, and...whatever. But maybe marrying part wasn't something that mattered as much to her. 'Marriage' itself had never seemed like a realistic sort of goal for the young adult April. She'd fantasized about it of course, but she was too busy, too annoying, too focused, too...everything. And she didn't really see the harm in actually sleeping with someone who understood you, even if you weren't married. Or defined. She was fine with that. It was fine.

Unless...unless of course sex was all there was to the relationship. For herself, April knew that this wasn't the case at all. It was about...feelings and laughter and...Alex might not be the most demonstrative sort of guy, but he slept in her room almost every night. And he tried haphazardly making her bed in the morning, even if it was "Freakin' dumb, we're just gonna sleep in it tonight." Because Alex knew she liked beds to be made. He saved her snacks from pediatrics and always grabbed fruit bowls for her at lunch. He always let her control the remote in the end, even if he pretended to put up a fight. Alex was also gently getting her to go places and to try new things, different things, even when her nerves about her leg made April want to stay home. He...he was sweet, in his own way and she just knew that it wasn't just about sex for him either.

Yet, April could almost feel her sister's judgement burning her from across the country. "Do you know where you stand with him, April? Do you know where you stand? Do you?"

Her sister's words echoed in April's mind, as Alex walked back to the bed and climbed in. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. April cursed herself. She knew that she was about to rock the boat. She knew it. But she couldn't help herself. She just couldn't. From the sound of his breathing she could tell that Alex was still awake. Twisting the top edge of the sheet, she mumbled, "Um...tonight was really great. Almost perfect actually..."

"Only tonight? Almost? I must be rustier than I thought." Alex said teasingly, reaching down and pinching her thigh, making April jump. It hadn't even occurred to her that he'd think that she thought...

"No, no, no. I didn't mean...I mean...it r-really was, not that it hasn't been before...I just meant...the whole night. Everything. Ponti's..." She bit her lip, twisting the sheets even more, and hoping that her next words wouldn't ruin everything. "I-is this? Are we? I mean, you-you...we're basically living together. It's been three months. And we go on dates, and we spend most of our free time together...and...I don't really know...Is this, uh, a r-relationship?"

April felt his body stiffen, ever so slightly and cringed internally. She really should learn to keep her damn mouth shut. But, when you really needed to know, it was hard to help. She closed her eyes, afraid that in the long silence, Alex would push her away, roll over, or worse: stand up and leave.

But he didn't do any of these things. Instead, Alex used the tips of his fingers to mess with her tousled hair, still curled from their outing. Eventually, he sighed. "I'm not screwing anyone else, are you?"

Taken aback April replied, "No! That's-"

"And you don't want to screw someone else?"

"NO! That's not what I meant. This is about...commitment, not-"

"Good. I don't want to screw someone else," Alex sighed again, "Do you want to be? In a relationship..."

"Y-yes."

"What...what do you think 'a relationship' is?"

"I..." April raised her eyebrows. She didn't really, really know. Not first hand anyway. She'd watched her parents, sisters and even Meredith and Derek. But all her observations didn't really amount to much. "I don't know...I've never really...uh...I think...I think it means that we...that this isn't just something we want to let go of. I mean...it's actually kind of hard for me to imagine...like, like next year, and it being next year and us not being...like this. I...I'm happy, with you...and 'a relationship' would mean...that I am working to keep being happy with you. The we're working to stay like this. Together. For as long as we can. Like we're...it's going somewhere. So...it doesn't go away..." Ever. Her silent addition to her jumbled explanation. Because April didn't really know how she'd bear it, if something did happen, and she didn't have Alex anymore.

"Okay, I'll level with you. I don't exactly have the best track record with these kinds of things. They always, always crash and freakin' burn. It's not all my fault, but...I did play my part. I can be a real ass."

"But-"

"It's true. It is. But," Alex lowered his chin, so that she could feel it resting on her head. "You're...you're different. You...you made me want to try or whatever. Somehow. And...I'm happy too. I am. I've had so much crap these past few years, I almost forgot what it freakin' felt like. Being happy. And you know what? It's easier not to be an ass when you're happy. Go figure. So...yeah."

"Yeah?" April said slowly.

"Yeah...we are. In a relationship. Like, you know, we'll try to...we'll work to stay together. Like you said. That can be us. It is." Alex's arms pulled her closer, and she felt him brush his lips on the top of her head, in a quick peck, and her eyes widened.

"Um...okay," she nodded. "Okay . Doesn't that m-mean, we...we should talk about it?"

Alex shifted, "We just did."

"Like...talk talk about it."

"What does that even mean? When you do that? Say a word twice?" He was speaking quietly and April thought she detected humor in his tone. He was fighting not to laugh at her. She sighed. He lifted his hand to where she was relentlessly twisting the sheet top, and laced his fingers through her own, stilling her nervous motions.

"Why do you always want to talk about stuff?"

"I don't know. I just need to. It helps me understand."

Alex yawned. "Whatever. Fine. We can talk more. Tomorrow or the next day. Whenever you want, when we're not about to pass out. But, I already understand everything I need to. You don't want to screw anyone else. Neither do I. We do what we can not to break up. Neither of us wants to lose this. Maybe we do more cool stuff together along the way."

He yawned again and his words faded away, "Sounds awesome."

"Yeah it does," April couldn't help but smile. Alex never stressed over details, and always had a way of seeing things at their most simple and uncomplicated. It was so different from the way her mind worked, and that was why she loved...whoa. Whoa. She let out a small squeak. Did she really just think...Could she really love him? Did she? Would it spook him if...if she did...and he knew? Luckily Alex had already drifted off.

Sleep began pulling at her too. As her eyes fluttered shut, April wondered what she had gotten herself into. It could be wonderful or heartbreaking. She wished, she hoped, she wanted it to be wonderful.


Meredith carefully unlocked the front door, and tiptoed into the house, carrying Zola. The little girl had fallen asleep on the drive home, and if she was lucky, Mer could have her daughter nap for a few hours, and eat in peace. Zola was in a bit of a clingy phase. It seemed like she always wanted Mommy. Always only at times when Mommy might be busy. Like when Meredith was taking a shower. Or eating. Or sleeping. Derek found it really amusing when he'd have to go into their bathroom carrying the little girl, knocking on the shower glass, saying "Someone wants Mommy!" And of course, when Meredith wasn't eating, sleeping or practicing good hygiene and had plenty of time, Zola was Miss 'I can walk' Independent. She and Derek loved it though. She never would have thought, never would have believed people when they said it, but having a child really was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to her.

As she entered the living room Meredith, caught sight of Alex and held a shushing finger to her lips, so that he knew to speak quietly, and not to wake Zola. She smiled because when he turned to greet her from the couch, he was making the same gesture, because April was sitting next to him, with her head resting on his shoulder, breathing deeply in sleep too. The red-haired doctor had note cards and a book on trauma protocol in her loose grip. They must be studying for boards. Sort of. Scanning the coffee table, Meredith saw that Alex too had note cards, and a book on pediatric surgery. But in his lap he had several oncology journals.

"That's not for boards," she whispered in mock admonishment. Meredith knew what Alex was doing though. It was for Marcello. He'd gotten close to the boy, and was desperately searching for some treatment for the cancer stricken teen. She didn't think Marcello could be helped, but she knew Alex didn't want to give up. No matter what. Until the very end.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I've been studying that stuff too. It's just-Cancer is shit."

"I know. I get it."

Meredith moved into the living room, carefully lowering Zola into her play pen, and covering her up with a blanket. She rose and headed to the kitchen, glancing to Alex, "Hungry?"

"Starving," Alex said as he carefully shifted and laid April down on the couch. He took her study materials and stacked them on the coffee table. April mumbled something, and Alex adjusted a few couch pillows under her bad leg, which made her settle down. Meredith shook her head and smiled faintly. She'd always known Alex had it in him. To be that guy. Instead of frat guy.

He joined her and they headed into the kitchen, leaving Zola and April to dream.

"We went cane shopping today," Alex explained as they opened the fridge and began peering at Tupperware. "Way exhausting. For April anyway."

He pulled out a blue plastic box, popped the lid and sniffed it, "How about chicken and rice?"

Meredith nodded, "Sounds fine to me."

They started heating things up and she continued, "So...Bobby thinks April can move to a cane soon?"

Alex nodded, "Yeah! It's pretty cool. He says her strength is really good, and her balance is a lot better. So, yeah. Next couple of weeks she's gotta migrate over to using the cane. He says she has to keep the crutch at home though, for days when her knee hurts or gets inflamed or whatever. Because of the humidity or rain and stuff."

"Ah," Meredith nodded. "Seattle isn't exactly the best place for any of those things really. Not really convenient for knee replacements."

"Nope. But, it's good. Spring and Summer she should be really good. And I think that the cane'll make her feel...less conspicuous or whatever," Alex shrugged. "Then again, you'd think she was buying a freakin' car today. It's just a stick that you lean on. You don't need to know how it was designed. And nobody cares what color it is..."

She laughed at the tone of fondness that slipped into his voice. Oh, Alex. She was happy for him. For both of them really. Alex and April were probably one of the strangest, most unexpected relationships she'd ever seen. Quite the odd couple.

"Well, it's a good thing you went with her," Meredith added. "Or else she might still be picking it out."

Such an odd couple. But maybe different worked. After all, she saw the world in shades of gray, and yet was married to a man that didn' yet, here they were. Herself and Derek. Alex and April. Seemingly happy. So very different from her other closest friend.

As though Alex sensed the turn her thoughts, he asked, "So...How's Cristina doing? Have you talked to her? I know I haven't really...been like there for...I mean, she...are they still in counseling?"

Meredith shrugged. He didn't need to feel bad. Cristina didn't really talk much about it. Even to Meredith. It was just a horrible situation all around. "They are still in therapy. I don't know how much good its doing though. Cristina says they just keep going in circles. And on top of everything she is trying to get ready for boards."

"That sucks. Is it just the Henry thing or...?"

"It's lot's of things. Too many things." The abortion, the PTSD, Henry, communication issues, values issues. Too many things. The timer buzzed and Meredith carefully dished up two plates of food. "I honestly don't know what's going to happen."

They sat at the table and Meredith began to eat. She was really hungry. Alex took a slow bite, and looked pensive for a moment. He sighed forlornly and finally said,"That's the touble with thinking things can work out, I guess."

"Hey now," Meredith said through a bite of chicken. "Don't get discouraged." She reached over and tapped a fading hickey that was just visible above the collar of his shirt. "You're relationship seems to be going just fine!"

"Don't!I'm not-I didn't mean...shut up!"

Meredith laughed. He was blushing. Actually blushing. He hadn't done that since...well. Not in a very long time.

"You know Alex," she said more seriously. "Things do work out for people sometimes. Even me and Derek."

"Shocking."

"You shut up."

Alex smirked and continued to eat his meal.

Meredith pursed her lips and looked back up at him. She decided to tell him something that she'd only just found out earlier in the day. "Derek says that the house is almost finished."

Chewing Alex cocked his head and joked, "He's been saying that for like two years.'

"Ha ha. You're so funny." She did concede that it had taken a long time to finish. That didn't matter now though, because it actually worked out nicely, with Zola and hopefully passing boards. "But it's true. We can move in after boards."

"That quick? Really? Cool...That's awesome."

"Yeah," Meredith stood up and poured her self a glass of water. "Don't worry though, we are keeping this place as a rental. We won't evict anybody. Water?"

Alex nodded and she grabbed a glass for him as well. Sitting down she teased, "Who knows though? Maybe you and April will want to have your own love nest by then."

Meredith was surprised at his reaction. Instead of being sarcastic or telling her to back off, Alex looked pensive again. Her brows knitted together as she watched him closely. "Alex? I'm making fun of you. You don't want to tell me off or...?"

"I-I think...April...I think she might be falling in love with me. I mean...she hasn't said anything, but..." Alex said it like it was some great tragedy. But wasn't falling in love kind of the point? He bit his lip and cleared his throat, digging into more chicken.

"And..." Meredith prodded. "That...scares you?"

Alex kept his mouth shut and swallowed. He blinked and gave a small nod.

"Because you might love her back."

He tilted his head and shrugged. Meredith shook her head. "What would be so wrong with that? I mean, you've been in a better mood these past few months than for most of the time I've known you."

"I dunno," Alex said finally. "What if I'm just...you know following my same old pattern of falling for 'girls in distress'?"

"Well, you didn't."

"Oh no? Earthquake much? Lot's of distress."

"But you said it only made you realize how you felt. You already had feelings to realize. They were there all along. You just didn't notice until she almost died."

Alex blinked and looked back down at his food. Meredith could understand his dilemma. Every other woman he'd let in, every other woman he'd allowed himself to love had let him down in some way. Left him. And he had no guarantee that April wouldn't do the same exact thing. If he didn't let himself feel, he wouldn't get hurt. Only...Only Meredith thought April could be different. If Alex would give things a chance. But it would be a leap of faith.

But Meredith thought it was a real chance. A leap worth taking.

"I know you've dealt with a lot, Alex. I know. But if April makes you happy? If you're starting to really fall for her...maybe...let it happen. If you do, you have everything to gain. If you don't, you'll always wonder what you might be missing. If you try and it doesn't work out, that will really really suck, but...you will at least know. You'll know."

Alex scratched the side of his cheek and sighed, nodding slowly. He swallowed and smirked, "When did you become the wise old lady?'

"I'm not old! Shut up."

He shook his head, "She color codes her closet. She stops at yellow lights. She likes ABBA. And Elton freakin' John! And puppies and fluffy things. Flowers."

"She does."

"It irritates me. Normally? Anyone else and it would just piss me off. But...it's her. And...she's...it's awesome."

"For the record, "Meredith continued. "I know she can be a little...quirky...well, you'd know better than me. But I think April's been really good for you so far. I'm happy for you. You deserve to be happy."

"I am happy. Crazy right?"

Meredith's heart twisted a little at how completely and utterly shocked Alex's expression was. No one should have to deal with so much crap that being unhappy became the norm. No one should be surprised to be happy. She reached a hand across the table and patted his knuckles.

From the living room the sound of quiet fussing reached her ears. She smiled at Alex and backed her chair out to go get her little girl. Before Meredith stood up, April's slightly sleepy voice filtered it's way into the kitchen.

"Uh oh, Zola. It looks like they ditched us. Huh? Just because we were sleeping."

Meredith heard the couch creak, and then Zola's cries quieted. In a moment, April appeared in the kitchen doorway, with Zola resting on her left hip. She knew she'd firmly crossed over to the sappy mother side of life, because Meredith thought the sleep tousled pair made quite the picture. And it was sweet. Right after the earthquake, April had been a little timid about interacting with Zola. Probably because of her leg and crutches and stuff. But as her recovery had gone on, that shyness faded away. April and Zola had their own little relationship, as nap buddies and play buddies. But then again the tiny girl was adored by everyone in the house. Jackson, Alex, her Aunt Lexie. And moving to the dream house wasn't going to change that at all. It was nice to know that her daughter had plenty of 'family' to love her, blood relatives or not.

Lifting her other hand from the handle of her crutch, April pointed to Meredith and whispered to Zola, "Look! See? There's you're Mommy! There she is! And Uncle Alex too! It looks like they left us to eat. That's okay. They can do that. They can do that if they are willing to share with us. Right?"

"Ri!" Zola parroted as Meredith stood up and held her daughter. April limped over and sat down next to Alex and smiled brightly.

"Did Alex tell you I have a cane?" She began, excitedly.

They were an eclectic and somewhat crazy group, her friends. But family is what you make of it. And this family made Meredith very happy.