A/N: Usual disclaimers. It's still April 23rd and here is chapter 14! Things on the show are really heating up, and I am getting really excited to see things through to the finale. (With no more hiatus weeks). Still having trouble shifting me update schedule back to Thursdays, so as the story finishes up, expect updates about a week, give or take, after each other, no matter what day. Chapter 15 will be coming this week. Thank you so much for reading and let me know what you think!
Alex's muscles strained as he and Jackson struggled to carry two ends of a heavy wooden bed frame. At their sides, Cristina and Lexie each gripped one edge of the massive object. Ahead of them, holding the front part of the frame, Meredith tried to guide the awkward team forward towards the stairs. She and Derek were moving into their new house, and Alex and the others had pitched in to help with the move.
It kind of took everyone's mind off waiting. It had been a week and a half since their board exam, and so all the fifth years new it was only a matter of time before they found out the results. They knew their results had already reached the hospital board, which had been deliberating all week and news of the outcome could reach them any day. Moving was a distraction from the agony.
"Okay," Meredith said, pulling her edge of the bed forward. "A little to the left..."
Then again, moving all this crap was proving to be its own kind of agony. The group strained and slowly inched the frame into position. What the hell was this thing made of? It weighed a ton.
"Remind me why you guys aren't using freakin' movers again?" Alex grunted, almost losing his grip.
"Well, we are already going to have to use them for all the new furniture," Mer sighed. "And most of the furniture is going to be new. Seemed kind of ridiculous to pay to move only a few things from the old house..."
Cristina rolled her eyes, "What's ridiculous now?"
Meredith shrugged, "This thing just didn't seem so heavy before...until you actually try to move it."
"Just how did Sloan and Shepherd manage to weasel out of helping with this part?" Jackson moaned.
"They are loading up the rest of the stuff from the old house in the moving van..." Meredith replied, somewhat sheepishly.
"Smart bastard's," Alex grumbled. "They knew that moving this thing would suck."
"Guys! If we're going to talk and complain," Lexie wheezed. "Can we at least set this thing down for a sec?"
She abruptly lost her grip and her corner of their load crashed loudly to the floor, narrowly missing Alex's foot. The sound echoed through the mostly empty spacious new house.
"Damn it, Lexie!" he hissed. Jesus, that thing could have took out one of Alex's toes.
"Okay calm down," Meredith said. "Let's just take a break."
Breathing a collective sigh of relief, the rest of the group carefully lowered the furniture to the ground, and sat down beside it.
From the nearby kitchen Alex could hear April chattering away to Zola, who seemed to have been startled by the noise. "What's that? That was loud, huh? It's okay."
Lexie could hear it too and crossed her arms, "And how is April lucky enough to only be saddled with baby duty?"
Alex glared and Jackson lightly kicked Lexie's foot. The reason was pretty obvious. So freakin' 'lucky'. April couldn't exactly lug boxes around or drag a bed up a flight of stairs. For crying out loud. And she still wanted to help with the move. Somehow. Mer knew that. That's why she'd asked April to watch Zola.
"Cut it out Lexie!" Alex snarled.
"It's the perk of being the crippled one. There had to be something," April said, having made her way into the room unnoticed by the rest. Zola toddled along by her side, carrying her favorite stuffed giraffe, with one tiny fist gripping April's cane. When the little girl saw her mother, she grinned and darted to Meredith's lap.
Jackson and Alex exchanged surprised expressions. April didn't usually make light of her leg injury. Or joke about it. And Alex was sure he'd never heard April tease about it. Then again, now it was clear to him that Lexie had only been frustrated with carrying the heavy bed frame, and spoke without really thinking about her wording. Alex wondered if maybe he was the one being oversensitive about the whole thing. Because April didn't seem offended at all.
Realization dawned on Lexie's face and her expression turned to one of horror, "April! I didn't mean-"
But April 's tone was light and her eyes twinkled, "Don't worry about it. In this instance, I would definitely rather chill with Zola then lug that up a flight of stairs."
"Well," Jackson said, pushing himself up from his sitting position. "I'm not lugging it anymore. Not right now. It's too heavy and I'm hungry."
"Oh yeah," Cristina agreed, standing. "Let's eat. McDreamy can move his own bed."
Mer only rolled her eyes, scooped up Zola, and led the group out of the spacious living room and into the brand new kitchen.
"Fine," she said, carefully navigating around packed boxes. "But we'll have to unpack kitchen stuff too."
Leaving the bed frame behind, Alex followed everyone into the kitchen, casually surveying the new home. Alex sat down next to April at the table set up in the kitchen, one of the few parts of the new house that was actually set up and ready. He still found it a little hard to believe that soon, very soon, Meredith and Derek and Zola would be living in this place full time. When they joked about it being a 'dream home', it was actually closer to the truth than he'd realized.
As Alex and the others laughed and ate hastily prepared sandwiches, he found himself watching Meredith with Zola. The little girl was going to grow up here. In this house. With two people who loved her. This was gonna be her childhood. Heck of a long way from being sick, abandoned, and alone in an orphanage in Malawi.
This whole happy family stuff wasn't something Alex was really used to. He didn't think he'd ever had it. Not even when he'd been very small, before things got bad between his parents. He wasn't sure he'd know what to do if he had a happy family. And he didn't think Mer was really familiar with it all either. It was Derek's thing to build the dream house. Her childhood with her uber surgeon mom didn't sound like it was anymore of a cakewalk than Alex's own youth. Emotionally at least.
But now, here she was, husband, kid, nice house. Hopefully a sweet job. Next, Meredith would probably be getting a freakin' dog. The Mer he knew now was so different than the one he'd met as an intern. Hell, they were all different. It seemed that suddenly, life was about more than their careers. They weren't in it alone. They had people they cared for.
As they finished up eating, Zola became restless and Meredith had April take her to the backyard to play outside.
"Unpack," she said, handing Alex and Cristina a box and setting up Lexie and Jackson with another, pointing to a cabinet near the brand new stainless steel stove.
Alex absently did as he was told, unable to fully pull his gaze away from the view through the sliding glass door. April held Zola's hand as they slowly explored the new backyard in the misty spring Washington weather.
"So," Lexie began, carefully unwrapping plates. "Nobody in fifth year has heard anything from anywhere yet?"
Alex crumpled up a wad of packing paper and craned his neck toward the window, only half listening as Jackson replied, "Most haven't had any news at all. On passing or failing."
Plunking a stack of dishes on the cabinet shelf, Cristina narrowed her eyes, "Heiss in Oncology got an offer from St. Michael's."
"Hey! Be careful with those," Meredith sighed. "And that's different, St. Michael's is in Toronto. It's an international offer. They have a different system."
Alex was still too distracted to notice that Jackson was staring at him smirking a little, "Earth to Karev..."
Just because he wasn't paying 100% attention didn't mean he couldn't follow a stupid conversation. Glaring and unwrapping another set of dishes, Alex grumbled, "If freakin' Canadian hospitals can give out the results already, Seattle Grace certainly should be able to. Instead of the board deliberating for an eternity. The wait is ridiculous."
"That's what you and Kepner get for putting all your eggs in one basket," Cristina quipped, setting another group of dishes in the cabinet. "I mean, even Mer also applied to Tacoma General and Seattle Pres."
"Still commutable, worse case scenario," Meredith nodded.
Cristina continued, "If you don't get an offer..."
He rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah...but it's not like any of you have heard anything from here or other hospitals either. So you're not any better off than we are."
Deep down, Alex knew that Cristina had a point. If Seattle Grace Mercy West didn't pan out for her or Meredith or Jackson, they each potentially had another option. They'd sent out other job applications. It had been a calculated risk not to, and to only hope for Seattle Grace, that much was true. It was a gamble. Especially for Alex. Because April had a pretty valid excuse if she really didn't pass boards. Earthquake injury. And Hunt would totally let her stay and repeat fifth year. So, she'd be in Seattle one way or another.
For himself, Alex realized that he didn't really want to be anywhere else, especially because it looked like April would stay pass or fail. And the peds fellowship at Seattle Grace Mercy West was one of the best in the country. Plus he liked working with Dr. Robbins, and she seemed to like working with him. If he had to pick someone to learn from, Robbins be his top choice. For once, Alex was happy where he was. He wanted to stay and he desperately hoped that he passed his exam and got a job offer. If he failed...
Alex's eyes drifted to the glass window again. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, whatever happened. If he failed and really couldn't repeat the last year of residency, he could find something else to do. Private Practice maybe? Research. He'd find something to do in Seattle. Because April would be here. And it was weird, but Alex knew he wanted to be where she was. How could anyone blame him? She was his girlfriend right now. It made sense. That outweighed career stuff? Right?
He watched as April leaned forward on her cane, helping Zola pick little yellow and white dandelions from the grassy back yard. Sniffing, Alex wondered whether April wanted any of this. A house. Kids. Whatever. They'd never talked about it really. Well, Alex realized he hadn't even thought about any of that. Not in a while anyway. Not that he was really thinking about it now. Most of his life Alex had thought that it didn't really happen for people, and if it did, the whole thing wasn't for him.
He'd wanted to be Dr. Hotshot Karev, filthy rich plastic surgeon.
Then, the whole Ava thing had made him think about it. Just a little. Family or whatever. A family that wouldn't be messed up like his had been. But Ava had turned out messed up too. And when Alex had married Izzie, he'd wished that she would live, and that they could have it all when she got better. But he never pictured dying embraces, frozen embryos or divorce by mail. Messed up again. Maybe, for Alex at least, that kind of life was always doomed to be crap.
Sighing slightly, Alex figured April probably did want it. A house. Kids. And whatever. Because she freakin' would. She had a million sisters after all. But, he also figured, worried April probably wouldn't want that with him, in the end. Because it'd probably be messed up. Until very recently, every time Alex had ever gotten close to a happy ending, things always got derailed. He still wasn't entirely optimistic that that would ever completely change. Even though he was happy lately.
Still he had to wonder...Alex watched April help Zola blow the white dandelions so that the pollen blew away in the wind. He smirked. Shepherd would have some weeds to pull in the summer, but Zola laughed gleefully and clapped her hands as the small fluffs floated in the air. And Alex could almost see it. A house. Kids. Whatever. With April. It might be nice. Very nice. She was good with families. Her help with Amber had shown him that. He might be destined to a crap parent, but Alex thought she'd be good. Really good.
Not that he was really thinking about it.
"Alex?" Meredith was looking at him strangely. Judging by the looks on Lexie and Jackson's faces it wasn't the first time she'd said his name. Mer craned her neck, "What are you looking at?"
"April and Zola. Baby doctor's got babies on the brain!" Cristina deadpanned.
Lexie coughed and held back a laugh and Jackson blinked and tilted his head to one side, "Oh?"
Squaring his shoulders, Alex finally pulled his gaze from the window, feeling oddly caught out. Like he'd had his hand in the cookie jar or somewhere it wasn't supposed to be.
"No! Whatever. Shut up!" he mumbled. So what? His thoughts were his own business anyways. And April was his girlfriend. He was allowed to look at her. And he'd been on Zola's case for a while so...so yeah.
"I was actually just thinking how much of a difference Zola's shunt has made with the spina bifita," he said, hoping to shift the stooges away from making him feel like a sap. He didn't need to worry about babies and houses and crap now anyway. He needed to focus on the situation at hand. Right now. Moving and boards. "Her walking is really very good. Robbins and I see lots of kids still have trouble post op. Her case is mild enough it made a big difference. She's lucky she gets to be here, and not Africa."
"Right," Lexie snickered. "That's exactly what you were thinking about."
Alex continued to glare at the lot of them and Meredith came to his rescue, ignoring Cristina's jabs and Avery's raised eyebrows, going with his attempt to change the subject.
"It's true," she cut in, looking at him thoughtfully. "I can't imagine what life Zola would have had without us. I can't imagine what kind of life Derek and I would have without her. I don't want to."
They all nodded. Alex, Lexie, and Jackson had gotten very used to living with the little girl, and Cristina hung out enough with Meredith, that they all found it hard to remember life without the little girl. Alex was immensely glad things had worked out for Meredith and Derek to keep Zola. He wouldn't have been able to take her loss on his conscience.
The front door creaked and Derek's voice echoed into the kitchen, "Hello? We brought the rest of the boxes..." He paused, as the sound of footsteps moved through the living room.
"Clearly you moved a lot while we were gone," he added sarcastically.
He and Mark made their way into the kitchen, followed closely by Owen, who still wore his suit and tie from the hospital. Catching sight of Mark, Lexie cleared her throat and stared at her feet. Derek stepped forward and kissed Meredith on the cheek. Mark grinned and pointed to the chief of surgery with one thumb, "We recruited another moving lackey."
Owen shrugged and slipped his hands in his pockets, offering a small half smile toward Cristina. She smiled back but Alex felt that the atmosphere was a little awkward between them. The moment was eclipsed somewhat as Jackson and Meredith both turned toward Hunt.
"So?" Jackson demanded. "Any news from the board of directors?"
The fifth years all waited with baited breath, as Owen only shook his head and said, "Nothing yet. I'm sorry. They're still talking."
Alex sighed. Damn. The wait continued for all of them. Spotting April and his daughter in the backyard, Derek grinned and moved to the sliding glass door, opening it and heading outside, "There she is! Zola! Hi."
April smiled and turned to the door, whispering to Zola and pointing at her father. Alex smiled faintly. She'd be really good.
Sloan clapped his hands together, "Come Avery! Let's get this place unpacked. Move people. Get that bed frame upstairs."
Alex rolled his eyes as the group slide their chairs back and began to make their way back into the living room. He grumbled a few choice words, but he figured that it would be a little easier to move the stupid thing with Sloan and Hunt and maybe Derek helping too. Only, Owen seemed to be following Derek outside. Alex squinted as the other man stood awkwardly next to Derek as he greeted his daughter, tickling her and taking the clump of flowery weeds she offered him.
"Wait," Jackson said. "Hunt's not helping?"
"Oh come on," Lexie whined.
"He's been working all day," Cristina snapped. "Stop being wimps."
Her tone was sharp, but as Alex caught her gaze and realized what was probably going on. Back outside he saw Owen gingerly accept a few flower stems Zola offered him from her father's arms. He grinned slowly, and placed a few of the flowers in his hair. At first his expression was pained, but then Hunt made a funny face, and Zola giggled. Alex figured they must be trying it. Cristina and Owen. Getting closer to Cristina's god-daughter. Trying to make a difference in a kid's life. Trying to work things out and stay together.
Alex glanced back to Cristina and added, "Yeah, whatever. He's probably just tired. We've got this."
Good for them. Because Alex was beginning to realize that there was more to life than your job. Sure boards mattered. But people did too. And the people you cared about would probably be around longer than any job. Owen mattered to Cristina. Zola mattered to Derek and Meredith. They mattered to Alex. And he thought they mattered to April too.
So, maybe there was more to the whole family thing than a house, kids or whatever. That was only a part of it. For some people. The rest was the caring, doing stuff because you cared about people. Like compromising. Or taking care of their kid for the day. Carrying heavy crap upstairs. You did it because you loved them. Kind of crazy, but kind of awesome too.
April stretched and yawned as she woke up. She opened her eyes and lay flat in her bed of a minute staring at the ceiling. Today was April 23. Today she was 30. It felt pretty weird. For once, April actually felt different. Like a real grown up. Sort of. More grown than she had felt on previous birthdays anyway. More than she had last year.
So much had happened to April in the last year. Good and bad. And really, really good. Particularly in the past 5 months. She'd become chief resident. Survived an earthquake, and knee replacement. She'd lost her virginity. Despite being alone, her cheeks flushed. So not a virgin anymore. She'd also fallen in love. She might even have made attending. Maybe. And no matter what, felt that she had every reason to hope that the next year, her 30th year, would be better then the last. Despite the earthquake and the knee. And even if she did have to repeat 5th year.
Rolling over, April gingerly lowered her feet to the floor by her bed, grabbing her cane from its usual place leaning her nightstand. She stood up and stretched her fingers and arms before walking to her closet and slipping on a robe. She moved slowly as she wasn't due at the hospital until the afternoon. The house seemed so quiet now. Empty. April still wasn't used to Meredith and Derek and Zola being gone. Especially in the mornings. Especially on rare mornings like this, when Jackson, Lexie, and Alex all had morning shifts at the hospital.
Only, for some reason the smell of bacon reached her nose. April's brow furrowed. She definitely smelled, food, and could hear the faint sounds of pots and pans clinking in the kitchen. Her hand immediately tightened on the handle of her cane and her mind leaped to news reports and crime statistics about home invasions. Seattle was as safer city than most, and Wallingford was a safe neighborhood, but that didn't mean it never happened. She inched out of her room, into the living room, heading for the kitchen. April relaxed a little as her thoughts became more logical. What was she going to do? Beat an intruder with her cane? And what kind of burglar would stop and cook? It was probably Jackson or Lexie. Maybe they'd left work early for some reason.
Crossing the threshold into the kitchen, April was surprised by the sight that greeted her. The mystery cook in the kitchen was Alex. He stood by the stove, with his sleeves rolled up, carefully holding a pan, so deeply wrapped up in concentrating on the food preparation that he didn't seem to notice April. Smiling in surprise, she cleared her throat, making Alex turn his head.
"Damn it," Alex muttered, frowning slightly. "You can't even sleep in on your freakin' birthday?"
"No," April smirked, limping over to his side and giving Alex a peck on the cheek. She gestured to the pans and cooking supplies Alex had on the stove and the counter top, "What all this?"
"It's your birthday, I'm making you breakfast," he shrugged.
"You're cooking?" April couldn't stop herself from smiling. Alex was cooking breakfast for her. He was actually cooking for her. Sweet.
"I'm not the best, but I am capable. Doesn't mean I like to do it."
"Ah. Well, it smells great. Thank you. But you didn't have to-"
"Oh come on!" Alex grinned and nudged her shoulder playfully. "30's a big deal. And we're...you know. I was gonna give you breakfast in bed but..."
"Sorry."
"Whatever," he shrugged and gestured to the table. "Sit down. Eggs are almost ready."
April did as she was told and took a seat at the kitchen table. Well, the only table now. Since Meredith and Derek moved with the dining room one. She smiled, biting her lower lip, and turned back to face Alex. She couldn't keep her shoulders still, revealing her delight.
Alex didn't tend to say 'I love you' very much. Not as much as April found herself doing anyway. He'd actually only told her twice since the first time he'd admitted to loving her in her office, after Marcello's death. And one time had involved alcohol, and had been said...during and might have been a joke, so she wasn't sure if it counted. Not that she was keeping track. Not really. But at times like this, she just knew he did. Love her. He showed it. April was beginning to understand that with Alex, his actions were far more telling than his words. So, April let herself bask in the glow of knowing that her boyfriend loved her enough to cook her breakfast in bed on her birthday. She did wonder how Alex had managed to do this without her realizing. She did plan his work schedule after all.
"I thought you were working this morning?"
"Yeah well," Alex replied, getting two plates of bacon and eggs together. "Swapped with Lynds to get the morning off. You have no idea how hard it is to pull one over on the chief resident."
"Robbins had you on that kid's heart surgery didn't she? She asked for you specific-"
Alex set in front of her along with a tall glass of orange juice, "That was a ruse. I do have some pull with Robbins you know."
"Oh, really?" She giggled and picked up her fork, waiting for Alex to get his own plate and sit down.
April began to eat her eggs when Alex joined her at the table, and started eating his own food. Through a mouthful of bacon Alex nodded, "Robbins likes me. I'm that irresistible."
She threw her head back in laughter and they began to eat. April still couldn't believe Alex had surprised her like this. She'd told him she didn't want anything special for her birthday. Really. Because having spent her whole life being named after the month she was born, April knew that she was already destined to spend the whole month of April getting birthday wishes anyway. That's how it always was. From April 1-31st, people always stopped and said Happy Birthday. No need to do have a big fuss on the big day when you already heard it from everyone you knew throughout the month.
April also didn't want anything because birthdays always made April a little homesick. As a child in Ohio, her family had always thrown her parties, filled with games and cake, and laughter. Since going to medical school and leaving home, she always felt a little odd celebrating birthday's without them, so she typically didn't do anything big. She'd spoken with her mom and dad the previous evening, but the fact that they were so far apart still made April feel a little melancholy.
And Alex seemed to have understood that. Because making breakfast wasn't something big, and it wasn't making her sad. It was like the Goldilocks effect on birthday gestures. Just enough.
"Happy Birthday, April."
"Thank you," April chewed enthusiastically as they chatted over breakfast.
Alex seemed to agree with her feelings about the house, "This place is so freakin' quiet now."
"Yeah," April said, taking a bite of a particularly crunchy piece of bacon. Really crunchy. Burnt really, but she wasn't going to say anything.
Alex lifted up a strip of bacon and held it between to fingers, making a face, "I burned this."
She shrugged, "Only a little. Next time you should turn the stove top down a little."
"You don't have to eat it," Alex added, dropping the singed meat and dusting off his hands. "I'm not gonna. Stick with the eggs. Anyway, here's a question for you: when exactly were you born? Like what time?"
"Why?"
"It's just this theory some of the peds nurses told us."
April sighed and shrugged as she ate, "Uh, I was a morning baby. Like 7 am or something."
Alex chewed a big mouthful of eggs, "That explains so much."
"What?" she asked incredulously.
"Well, it's probably just an old wives tale or whatever, but the nurses say that the kids who are born in the morning grow up to be a morning people. And you are definitely a morning person."
"Well, when were you born?" April prodded
"1:22 am. Solid night owl."
"Isn't that technically earlier in the morning? You should be more of a morning person than I am."
"It's still night until like 5am," Alex countered.
April grinned and drank her orange juice, letting her mind drift. Despite her happiness over Alex's birthday gesture, she couldn't help the nerves that slipped into her mind over her still unknown boards results. Her proctor had told her it would take about a week and a half. Today would make it two weeks. April was starting to believe that she really didn't pass. She'd suspected as much during the interview. And she thought she could be okay with it. Taking the test and interviewing had been a long shot considering how much time she'd missed in the OR that year. Now April's real worry related to the careers of her friends. Cristina hadn't even heard anything. So April was worried about them. And Alex.
"Do you think we'll hear anything about boards today?" she asked.
Alex scowled slightly and then shrugged his shoulders, "Whatever. I've given up trying to figure it all out. The freakin' board takes all the time they want because they can. It's just politics anyways. I hate it, because it's probably got nothing to do with our results at all. Load of crap."
"I guess."
"We'll be fine. No matter what happens."
"Right," April agreed, trying to sound more sure than she felt. Alex had explained it to her a few days ago. His plan to do research or private practice next year, if he didn't get certified as an attending. He'd explained to her that he'd be okay doing that. That all that really made a difference to him was staying in Seattle or wherever she was. That he'd be fine trying to pass again the next year. Or doing something else entirely if he never passed. Bu April didn't buy it. She knew Alex. And Alex did not like to quit or fail. He hated it. He'd blame himself, even if it wasn't his fault. April knew that if Alex really did fail, it would be because of her. Because he'd gotten distracted taking care of her after she'd been injured, and because of the beginning of their relationship. His failing would partially be April's fault, no matter what he said.
And April didn't believe for one second when Alex said he'd be happy working in medicine outside of pediatric surgery. He was a great peds doctor. Gifted even. He deserved the hospital's pediatric fellowship as far as April was concerned, and she didn't know how she'd live with herself if he never got it because of her and her dumb leg.
"Hey," Alex said, noticing April's silence and pause in food consumption. "We will."
"Okay."
Alex narrowed his eyes at her, probably guessing she only half believed him, but choosing not to comment, "So, did you talk to your mom last night?"
"I did, yes," April replied perking up. In all her worry and angst about Alex's board results, she'd almost completely forgotten about the conversation she'd had with her parents. They'd invited her to bring Alex to Ohio in the summer, and April wasn't sure how he'd respond. "Uh, actually...my mom and dad...they..I-"
Alex raised one eyebrow and April slowed down, taking a calming breath before rambling on, "Well, I usually try to go home for the 4th of July weekend, you know, because...better weather, easier to get time off than at Christmas...and anyway, well, my parents...they wanted you to know that you're more than welcome to come back with me this summer...I mean if you want to, and you're not busy... you could meet my sisters and my nieces..."
"It might be fun," She shrugged. "But it's fine if-"
"If I go with you, am I gonna get beat up?"
April blinked, "No. Why would someone beat you up?"
"Books could be written on why someone would want to beat me up," Alex joked. "In this case, your Dad probably has amble cause."
"My Dad? Why?"
"I'm screwing his kid."
"He doesn't know that!" She squeaked, feeling uncomfortable.
"He's a guy. He'll suspect."
"We're together though. It's not just like that's all we do. We...love each other."
"Well yeah, we know that, and we can say that. But I'm pretty sure it takes time for Dads to get used to stuff like that. To believe it. And..." Alex winced. "I am the only guy you've ever really introduced them to, right?"
April pouted slightly. She had had the most lame love life of any of her sisters, "Kenny Dirkin came to visit the farm on spring break once in college."
Tilting his head incredulously Alex asked, "Didn't he turn out to be gay? You said..."
"I didn't know that. My parents didn't know that," April huffed. "I don't even think Kenny really knew at the time. And that's beside the point. I brought him home and my Dad didn't kill him. And you wouldn't have to worry. You've already met my parents. They like you!"
Alex shook his head and looked down at his plate, "That was when I was just the guy who saved your life. Now I'm gonna be the guy who...tells them he uh, loves their kid. Not an easy transition to accept. I mean, if I ever have a daughter, and she brings a guy home, my first impulse is gonna be to kick his ass, even if he's the freakin' love of her life. I might try to resist the urge, but it'd definitely be there."
Blinking, and ignoring the small flutter in her chest that was prompted by his comment about someday having a daughter, April reached a hand to his. She was amused by how nervous Alex seemed. It was just her mom and dad after all. Nothing too intimidating. Just her parents. And Libby and Kimmie and Alice. And Mike and Wendell and Diego. And the little girls.
Okay. Maybe that was a little overwhelming.
"My dad's not violent," April tried to comfort.
"And your brothers in law?"
"No one is going to beat you up." Well, not her Dad, or any of her sister's husbands anyway. She might have a few reservations for her older sister, though. April still didn't think Libby liked Alex very much, or maybe it was just the idea of him, but she figured either way that it was just because Libby didn't really know Alex. And Libby hadn't beat anyone up over April since she was 6.
Still, April chose not to mention it.
"Alright," Alex squeezed her hand. "That's my summer trip then. On one condition. Remember when you said you'd help with...Amber and stuff?"
"Great! Yeah, of course I'll help with your sister. I said I would. Whatever you need?"
"Well, you know how Amber applied to that architecture thing at UW?"
April's eyes widened and she leaned forward, grinning, "Did she get in?"
"Conditionally. She'll be on probation her first two quarters. If she gets good enough grades, they'll accept her officially. So...she'll be uh, living out here starting in the fall."
"That's excellent!" April clasped her hands together and felt exceptionally happy that Amber had been doing so well after her hitchhiking adventure. She didn't really understand why Alex had such a pained expression on his face. Wasn't he proud? "Alex, that's good news, isn't it?"
"It is..." he said tentatively. "But, it's just...I haven't, um, you know actually lived in the same state as her since we were kids. I'm not sure I really know how to, keep in touch with her and stuff. When she's right in town, you know."
"She'll be in college. Studying. Meeting people. It's college. You talk on the phone already. If she's here, you could get together sometimes," April I doubt Amber being here will make it harder to keep in touch. She'll be so absorbed in the whole experience that it probably won't even be that different, except you can see each other more easily."
"Gives me more opportunities to screw up with her," Alex said biting into the last of his breakfast. April was finished too, so she grabbed his plate and stacked it on top of her own. Before she could stand up to take them to the sink, Alex snatched them from her hands, placing them there himself, muttering, "Not on your freakin' birthday."
April folded her arms and said, "You won't screw up with Amber."
"With your help, I won't. Otherwise, I'll freakin' call her too much. Or too little. Or I'll blow up at her if I don't think she's studying hard enough and she'll loose this shot. Or I'll forget to show up for something I'm supposed to. Plenty of ways I could do screw up. You just gotta keep me in line with it okay? Like you did the first night she was here. Be uh, a buffer or whatever, when things get tough."
"You'll be fine. But okay, I can do that. You'll come to Ohio in July, and I will 'buffer' you and Amber," she agreed, secretly believing that Alex wouldn't need her to at all. She'd seen him make what April thought were great strides in his relationship with his sister over the past few months. Alex should acknowledge that. Give himself some credit.
But before April could speak again, Alex's phone buzzed, and he pulled it out of his pocket to read a text message. April could tell by the way his eyebrows lowered, and how his eyes raced through reading it that the message was important. Her muscles tensed. It was a regular SMS message, so she knew it wasn't an emergency page. She had a feeling that it was about their board results. What else would it be?
April's suspicions were confirmed when Alex looked up from his phone and met her gaze, "Avery says the letters with our results just got put in everyone's lockers."
They stared at each other in shock for a moment, before they both moved to their feet. After all the waiting it suddenly seemed unbelievable that the letters were actually there. April was stunned. They'd know the truth soon. Whether they passed or failed. And on her birthday no less.
"Hospital?" she asked, suddenly dry mouthed and nervous.
"Hell yes!" Alex agreed, glancing over and looking April up and down and waving his hand. "But, while I find this whole 'just woke up' look to be very hot, I think you might want to ditch the robe and put on some pants before we go."
Despite all her anxiety, April laughed.
Alex stood in front of his locker, starting down at the envelope in his hands. His boards letter. He hadn't opened it yet. He wasn't sure he wanted to.
Not knowing might actually be better than knowing. Because once Alex opened this envelope, he would know exactly what the next year would be for him professionally. He'd know if he was good enough, or if he was a loser. If time froze, just right now, and never moved forward, Alex would still have possibilities. It would still be up in the air. After reading the letter however, Alex couldn't imagine anymore. He'd know the facts.
Glancing around the room he saw his friends, peers, reading their letters in various places. Mer leaning on the far wall, with her back to them and her head bent over her letter. Jackson sitting on the bench in the middle of the room, with his legs on either side. Cristina near the door way, holding her letter in front of her. A few other fifth years he was less close with scattered in various other places in the locker room. All their freakin' attendings hovering in the hallway, waiting to see if the time and effort they put into mentoring people actually amounted to something. April, biting the inside of her cheek and starting at her own letter, two cubbys down.
April turned to look at him and offered a nervous smile. Alex could hear the sounds of other people in the room as they learned their results. Some muttered soft curses, others seemed on the verge of tears, and others let out quiet 'whoops' of joy. He heard half whispered conversations, 'John's Hopkins!' 'I can't believe it.' 'Do you think I can get a different proctor next year?' He heard Meredith gasp, and Cristina laugh.
And Alex still couldn't bring himself to tear the envelope. April hadn't opened hers either.
"Go ahead," he told her, gesturing to her letter. "You don't have to wait on me. I'm just...It's dumb."
Just because Alex was being a coward, didn't mean April had to suffer not knowing for any longer. He pointed again, "Open yours."
"Maybe it's like pulling off a band aid," April said moving to stand next to him. "It's the most painless when you just rip it off. Or in this case open it."
"I've never been good at that," the corner of Alex's mouth twitched as he heard Jackson exhale and say, 'Yes!'. People in the room were beginning to move and leave.
"You said we'd be fine no matter what happens," April put one of her hands on his wrist and looked him right in the eye. "Let's just open them. Together. Get it over with. On the count of three."
"Okay," Alex sighed and straightened his shoulders. They would be fine. Even if his pride ended up deeply wounded. Because whatever happened, they'd get through it together.
"Right," April said, steadying herself and holding the edges of her letter. "One, two...three."
Alex tore into the white paper, lifting the envelope's flap and pulling out two pieces of embossed paper. The first was from the American Board of Surgery, and he realized upon closer inspection that this document was in fact a certificate. He'd passed! He was a qualified pediatric surgeon. A slow grin spread across his face. At least he had that. He wasn't a failure. Whether or not he had a job though...
Tucking his surgical certificate under his arm, Alex quickly unfolded the second piece of paper and began to read:
"Dear Dr. Karev, blah, blah, blah.
Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital is an institution of considerable rigor, yada yada. The pediatric fellowship is very competitive and only for candidates of the highest quality, he already freakin' knew that...After careful consideration, the hospital board of directors has elected to offer you the position of Pediatric Surgical Fellow. Should you accept, your position would grant you entry level attending status until such time as you complete the fellowship, when you would promote to a supervisory attending surgeon position. Your new contract goes into affect May 7, 2012. Please inform us of your decision in writing by April 30, 2012.
Congratulations,
Larry Jennings
Chairman, Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital Board of Directors"
Alex was frozen for a moment, with his mouth open in shock. Not only had he passed his exam, but he'd gotten the job! The gamble paid off. He'd gotten the fellowship. His reverie was broken when he heard April squeal at his side. Turning to look at her, Alex saw tears in her eyes. But she was smiling, so Alex figured the news had to be good.
"So?" he prodded.
"I passed! Even with everything that happened. I passed! And they want me for the trauma fellowship. I can't believe it!" her smile fell a little, as she looked at him expectantly. "Alex? What does yours say?"
He smirked and held the letter out in front of him, "I passed too. And I got the freakin' fellowship!"
April's lip quivered and she started to cry more heavily. Sheesh. She had a bigger reaction to his news than her own. Alex threw his arms around her and pulled her into a close embrace. "Hey. Don't cry. We're awesome! We did it."
Jackson was suddenly by his side looking at April with concern, and asking Alex, "Did she she?"
"We both passed," Alex replied, awkwardly patting April's shoulders.
Avery gently squeezed April's arm, "Some birthday, huh?"
"I'm just so happy!" she blubbered.
Jackson turned to the rest of their friends and gave a quick thumbs up. Alex turned around too, seeing that most of the other fifth years had filtered out. Cristina and Meredith stood, holing their letters side by side. Alex turned to his friends with his arms still wrapped around April, "How'd you losers do?"
Meredith smirked and held up her letter, "Passed, and hired. Here. As good as could be expected. Also accepted at Seattle Pres but..."
"They are so subpar we not even thinking twice," Cristina interjected. "Some of us have a better menu of choices to think about, let's see. John's Hopkins wants Cristina Yang. So does Stanford, Cleveland Clinic, UCLA Medical..."
"And Seattle Grace!" Mer added sadly.
"Mass Gen, Brooklyn Hospital-"
"And Seattle Grace!" Meredith said more firmly.
Cristina rolled her eyes, "Obviously."
Alex could tell that Meredith desperately wanted her best friend to stay in Seattle. But Alex didn't really know what Yang would do. She had so many offers, at really good hospitals, it would kind of be dumb not to at least think about going somewhere else. And she and Owen were having marital troubles, even though he thought they'd been working on that. Alex could see that Cristina had reasons to leave as well as stay.
April had calmed herself down considerably and was whipping her tears on her sleeves, looking anxiously at her own best friend, "Jackson?"
Avery grinned, "Passed! Offered, and accepting. This is the only place where people ignore that I am Harper Avery's grandson. Plus, Sloan and I have big plans!"
"Absolutely we do," Mark said venturing into the room, leading the way for the rest of the attendings. Bailey, and Torres, and Robbins, and Hunt. Shepherd entered the locker room and immediately stood by his wife. Teddy hovered by the doorway, away from Yang and Owen.
Sloan held his hand up, and he and Avery high-fived, "That's my boy Avery! The plastics posse shall live on. "'
Torres beamed and looked around the room, "Welcome to the club everyone."
All of the fifth years had a moment with their mentors, and Alex grinned at Robbins. As Hunt moved to congratulate April, Altman inched toward Cristina, giving her a nod of approval. Meredith and Derek hugged and Sloan pulled a brightly bedazzled scrub cab from behind his back.
"Avery sparkle!"
"No way I am wearing that Sloan. That is not gonna be my scrub cap."
"Oh, but it is."
Bailey stood in the middle of her room, cleared her throat and looked at all of the soon to be graduated residents, "Um. Now uh, I know sometimes...I've been a little strict with you all. And I know that some of you I haven't known as long as others. But I just wanted to say...that, uh, it's been a real pleasure to watch you all learn. Each and every one of you shown tremendous growth. So, uh well done...Try not to let becoming attendings go to your heads. They're big enough already."
Then the short surgeon lifted her hands and started to clap. All the other attendings joined in for a small round of applause. Alex smirked and tightened his arm around April's shoulder, glancing down at her. She was still a little weepy, but her smile was as radiant as he felt. Alex felt like he could fly. He felt like all the crap he'd gone through to get to this place in his life hadn't held him back. A guy like him, a foster kid, abused, left behind and whatever. If someone like Alex could end up being a surgeon than no one had any freakin' excuse not to succeed. Alex was proud of himself. And his friends. And April too. She'd managed to pass and nail a fellowship despite missing a ton of work and OR time.
It was awesome. It gave him hope. Like it was a sign or whatever that things would just keep getting better. Soon they'd all be in charge. Attendings, managing entire surgeries by themselves, observing interns, working on independent research. They were not students anymore. And Alex couldn't wait.
