Chapter 13: Break Ups and Make Ups

The rest of term passed by with few incidents. Gryffindor won its second Quidditch game thanks to Ron's superb goal keeping, Ginny scoring five goals, and Harry barely grasping the snitch at the last second from the Hufflepuff's Seeker. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were all beginning to feel the pressure of 7th year and the N.E.W.T.s that were quickly approaching. On top of that, Harry had the additional stress of trying to prepare his 5th years for their O.W.L.s. They were all looking forward to Christmas break as much as they were glad that there hadn't been any other killings by the mysterious Death Eaters.

A week before Christmas break, Harry and Ginny found themselves finally admitting to the distance they felt growing between them on a Saturday morning walk through the grounds.

"Ginny," Harry said, pain clearly evident in his voice.

"Harry," Ginny replied, her heart already knowing what was about to happen.

"Listen," Harry said, halting next to the lake, "I think we need to talk about… us…"

Ginny sighed. She had been expecting this for a while. In a way, she was grateful that Harry was the one to bring it up first. "What about… us?" she asked.

Harry sighed as well, not wanting to hurt Ginny but struggling to be as honest as he could be, without professing that he was truly in love with Hermione. "I – I think we both know that things haven't really turned out the way we expected, as far as our relationships goes… Especially after the war ended," he said slowly. "It changed us… All of us… We're not the people we were before everything went to hell."

Harry paused, waiting for Ginny to say something, anything, in reply. Ginny knew that Harry was waiting on her, before he said anything else. Thinking back, she knew that what he had said was true. They had changed. All of them. While Harry was off scouring the countryside for horcruxes with Hermione and Ron, Ginny had fought alongside Neville, Luna and so many others against the Carrows. She had found her Gryffindor courage and came to realize that she could stand on her own against evil. She didn't need a hero anymore. She was one.

"Harry," Ginny began, "you're right. The war did change us. All of us. You have to know I still care about you but… I don't idolize you like I did when I was a kid. You are a hero, there is no denying that but… I don't see you as that perfect man, that I did when I was a first year. And you shouldn't feel like you need to be," she quickly added. "Harry, I love you as a brother but I don't think I'm in love with you. To be honest, I think I was in love with the legend more so than the actual person…" Ginny trailed off, unsure of what to say next.

Her words didn't surprise Harry. He knew that she had never really loved him, just the ideal image of him. The "Chosen One." The "Boy Who Lived." The "Savior of the Wizarding World." She was never in love with Harry. Simple, ordinary, Harry Potter, with all his faults and scars and wounds and issues. She never really knew that Harry, or perhaps she never really accepted that Harry, until now. Until Harry finally showed that he was, in the end, truly human, vulnerable, hurting, grieving, and, at times, weak. That was the not the man Ginny loved but it was the man she was dating.

They did not stay by the lakeshore much longer. Though they still cared for each other, they knew that they did not love each other and would not love each other, at least not as anything more than friends. So, with some brief conversation and a short hug, they parted ways. Ginny walked to the Quidditch Pitch and Harry walked to his office. Each mourned the loss of their relationship but took comfort in the knowledge that it was the right decision and took joy in the fact that they still could remain good friends. However, Harry still had to deal with Ron's reaction to the breakup...

"What do you mean you 'broke up'" Ron exclaimed loudly in the Common Room later that day. "How could you break up with my little sister? Not good enough for the "Great" Harry Potter, I suppose?"

"Ron, it's not like that at all!" Harry shouted back, angry boiling inside. "We both agreed upon it. We've been drifting apart for months now! You can ask her yourself!"

"Fine, I will then!" Ron yelled, causing other Gryffindors to scamper down from the dormitories to see what the fight was about.

"Face it, Ron, we all changed after the war! Ginny and I weren't the same. We just couldn't make it work. I'm sorry, you know I would never do anything to hurt her, no matter what," Harry tried to reason with Ron.

"Whatever," Ron snorted, "You better hope her story is the same as yours, or I swear I will kick your arse from here to the Quidditch Pitch." And with that, Ron stormed out the portrait hole.

Harry stood in shock, unsure of whether to go after Ron and try to mend things or simply leave him alone. He could feel the stares of his fellow Gryffindors from the stairwell leading to the dorms on the back of his neck. Deciding it would be easier to roam the hallways than explain the fight that just happened, Harry quickly left and tried to go the opposite direction of Ron. In the end, Harry found himself hiding in his office, trying to distract himself from his fight with Ron by grading papers. He knew that Ron would not have reacted well to him breaking up with Ginny but he had not expected Ron to explode like that, especially since Harry and Ginny had mutually agreed to the breakup. They were still friends and Harry realized that it would be Ginny that he would soon refer to as having feelings for like a sister when questioned about the breakup.

One terrible thought continued to plague Harry as he graded the last of the 5th year papers. Did Ron suspect that Harry had feelings for Hermione? Was his anger at the breakup really fear that Harry would be focusing on trying to steal Hermione? Harry was nearly certain that Ron had no idea the depth of Harry's feelings for Hermione. Ron was Harry's best mate, but he also knew that Ron wasn't always the quickest to pick on obvious hints, much less subtle ones. Though Harry's love for Hermione was growing everyday, he had no intentions of trying to purposefully break she and Ron up. He could never do that to his best and first friend he ever had at Hogwarts.

Harry set his quill down and leaned back, running his ink stained hands through his black hair. With a frustrated sigh, he stood up and scanned his bookshelf, as though a book on how to make Ron less angry at him would magically appear. When it didn't appear, he sat back down, wondering if it he would be able to slip into the dormitory, grab some of his homework, and slip back out before getting interrogated by fellow Gryffindors on the fight and the breakup, which he was sure they all had heard about by now.

A knock on the door brought Harry back to the present.

"Come in," Harry called out.

The door slowly opened and Harry was surprised to see Hermione walk in.

"What did you knock for?" he asked. "This is your office too."

"I know but I just saw Ron in the hallway. He told me you and Ginny broke up. I figured you were probably in here and wanted to see if you were okay," Hermione replied, worry etched in her eyes.

"Oh," Harry said, looking past Hermione at the wall, "yeah, it was mutual break-up. I – we both realized that we weren't the same people. The war – I can't believe how many times I've said this today – the war changed us. Ginny realized I wasn't the legendary hero she fell in love with and that she really didn't need a hero anymore. And she doesn't. Ginny is an amazing strong and brilliant woman. She was before but the war made her even more so."

Harry paused a moment before continuing, "But we're both different. I changed too and, for better or worse, the person I'm looking for isn't who Ginny is now. In a way, it is kind of a relief that we both changed into a person the other couldn't be in love with. The breakup was completely amicable, we're both still friends, and the only love we feel towards each other is the love you feel towards a sibling. Though trying to convince Ron of that proved a bit more difficult than I anticipated."

"Yeah, the way he was going on in the corridor, it sounded like you ripped Ginny's heart out and spat on it," Hermione said, remembering her encounter with Ron. "Hopefully he finds Ginny soon before the whole school thinks you're a crusher of hearts, Harry Potter."

Harry laughed, "Great, another title!"

Hermione gave a short chuckle before her face turned to a serious expression, "But really, Harry, are you okay?"

"Oh yeah, I know once Ginny talks to Ron, he'll calm down and come apologize," Harry replied.

Hermione glared, "You know that's not what I'm talking about."

"I know," Harry whispered sadly.

Hermione's face softened. "It wasn't mutual was it?"

"No, no it was," he said, "in fact I actually was the one who started the conversation and if I'm completely honest, I was the one who started pulling away from the relationship first."

"Then what's bothering you? And don't lie to me, Harry, I know something's wrong," Hermione said, crossing her arms her chest, indicating she wasn't leaving until he told her everything.

Harry sighed, he knew he wasn't going to get out of this conversation. "Well, I guess it was something Ginny said that's been on my mind. We were talking about how we've both changed, well how everyone has changed after the war. She mentioned how before the war, I was always this hero she idolized, like there was no wrong that I could do. After the war, she realized she was 'in love with the legend more so than the actual person.' Now I just wonder if the legendary Harry Potter is the person someone can be in love with, not the weak, scarred, imperfect Harry Potter."

Harry looked down at hands, not willing to admit that what he really wondered is whether Hermione could be in love with the weak, scarred, imperfect Harry Potter.

Hermione watched Harry quietly, trying to find the right words to say. She really wanted to tell him that Ginny was an idiot to not be madly in love with the weak, scarred, and imperfect Harry Potter. That was the true Harry Potter. That was the legendary Harry Potter. That was the Harry Potter she was falling in love with, if she would admit it to herself.

"Harry," Hermione began, "first off, you are the strongest person I know. Your weaknesses, scars, and imperfections are what make you strong, make you admirable, and make you, you. To love the "legendary, perfect Harry Potter" is not real love. That would be too easy. Real love embraces all that we are, the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly. People can't be in love with the legend, only infatuated. Harry, I promise you, there will be someone who will be in love with you for who you are, simply Harry Potter. No titles. No legends. Just Harry James Potter."

Tears were running down Hermione's cheeks now and Harry was struggling to keep his in check. Her words stirred something very deep inside of him. He knew it was time for him to tell her the truth. Harry was about to open his mouth to confess to Hermione his true feelings when there was another knock on the door.

Startled, Harry said, "Come in?"

Harry's heart dropped when Ron came bounding in, with Ginny in tow. Hermione quickly wiped her tears from her face before Ron or Ginny noticed. Harry stood up, confusion hiding the frustration he was feeling.

"Harry, mate, Ginny told me what happened. I guess you weren't lying after all," Ron said. "Which is good because if you were I would have beat the living daylights out of you."

Ginny punched Ron in the arm and glared at him. "Oh come off it, Ron. I don't need all the boys in the school afraid to date me because my brother might beat them up."

Harry and Hermione laughed as Ron rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Don't you have something else you need to say to Harry?"

"Oh, right. Sorry, Harry. I shouldn't have blown up on you like that. It's not that I don't trust you but she's my sister, you know. I have a hard time thinking straight when it involves her," Ron said.

"When do you ever think straight?" Harry joked before reaching out his hand, "We square?"

Ron clasped Harry's hand, "Yup."

"Alright, now that the boys have become friends again, let's go get some dinner. I'm famished," Ginny said.

As they headed out the door, Harry and Hermione briefly locked eyes, both wishing the other could hear the thought in their mind.

I love you.