Chapter 5 :
A second chance?
"Emily, what are you doing here?" Right there in the middle of his sisters and mothers Louis almost dropped on his knees when he saw that woman he had not seen in many years but whom he had never managed to forget.
"It's a long story. Oh Louis, I'm so happy to see you." It didn't matter to her that Louis' entire family was watching them and that they hadn't seen each other in years, all she wanted was to jump in his arms and bring him the comfort she knew she was the only one capable of providing.
"So I am." God she smelled good, even better than in his wildest memories. Seven years have passed but he had not been able to forget that vanilla perfume and those comforting arms that always made him feel home.
"I'm sorry I missed the funeral but I flew from London early this morning and only found out about your grand parents as I was reading the papers in the cab. How are you holding up?." Cupping Louis' face with her right hand, gently rubbing his cheek with her thumb Emily took a moment to look at him, to roam her eyes on that face that was so different from the one she left seven years ago. The angelic young adult she had left heart broken had matured and turned into a very handsome man whose eyes seemed to have been caring all the pain and sorrow of the world.
"You came straight for the airport? You must be exhausted, please come inside, my moms are gonna be so excited to see you." Louis' arms were still snaked around her waist and as he took a look over her shoulder he noticed that mothers were actually observing the scene from a distance.
Walking towards his mothers holding Emily's hand Louis could feel his heart hammering his chest and he was unable to keep his eyes of her. Her blond hair was slightly shorter than it used to be and she was wearing a black hugo boss pant suit, which was a complete change from the usual Levis' or baggy pants he was used to see her wear but she was as beautiful and graceful as he remembered. Her skin was still as soft as silk and her smile was still as bright as the sun.
"I actually stopped by my hotel and then by an agency to rent a car before driving here. I know how much you loved your grand parents and how close you were of your grand mother in particular and I wanted to pay my respect to your family in person. Dr Isles, Detective, it's pleasure to see you again. Allow me to give you my sincere condolences." Letting go of Louis' hand for a second Emily very naturally stepped towards Jane and Maura, her arms wide open.
From the age of 4 until they graduated high school Louis and Emily were inseparable and she considered the two women as her as family and felt perfectly comfortable displaying such a familiar and affectionate proof of her sincere condolences.
"It's very nice to see you to, but please for the millionth time call us by our first names." On top of inheriting her stubbornness and devotion to their family Louis had, unfortunately also inherited her romanticism and while he refused to talk about it Jane was convinced that the two of them were more than friends and that his decision to move to New-York was probably caused by a desire to get away from that house, that environment that reminded him of the first woman he ever loved.
"It's nice to see you too. Louis why don't you take Emily to the pool so she can rest her legs? I'll have James bring you a snack and some refreshment." For years Maura had hoped that Emily would find a way back into her son's life because just like Jane, she could see that what united them was stronger than friendship or a simple teenage fling. Obviously she had not information regarding Emily's sudden return to the states but she could only hope that she was here to stay because Louis needed her more than ever.
"Yes mom, you're right. Emily, please come with me." As he grabbed Emily's hand and almost dragged her towards the pool Louis' brain was suddenly filled up with a million questions. Why was she here? Her parents were now living in europe and her grand parents were also deceased so could it be for professional reasons? Was she here to stay? Was she dating anyone?
A few minutes later the two love birds were comfortably settled in two long chair in front of the pool with a gorgeous view on the land surrounding the mansion.
Despite his desire to question Emily Louis was a bit reluctant because he didn't want to have his heart broken again. As far as he was concerned this was only a civil visit and he refused to get his hopes up by wishing or even hoping for more.
"So Louis, how are you?" That question was obviously rhetorical. They might have not seen each other in seven years but Emily was still able to read his mind and heart just by looking in his eyes.
"I'm…I have been better. What about you, why are you in Boston?" Yes, the intense connection that had always bounded them was still here but Louis had this strange feeling that he was talking to a completely different person. People change and he had no idea of who Emily was now and as cruel as it seemed he was not willing to open up to her, not if she was only here for a short time. He needed to protect himself from getting hurt again.
"Well after spending several years developing my brand in Europe my investors and I feel confident that we are ready to conquer the US, so here I am. " When she was seventeen Emily accepted a scholarship to study in of one the most prestigious fashion schools in Europe and after years of working hard to build her business there, her brand was now strong enough to be launched in the states.
"I know about your brand. My mother loves it and has been ordering your clothes online ever since it was launched. I wouldn't be surprised if she gave you a few ideas for your winter collection." So she was here for business, not to rekindle what ever was between them. Now Louis knew what her intentions were and they were not oriented towards him. Then why was she even here? If what she was wanted to pay her respects and condolences she could have sent flowers and spare them this awkward reunion.
"I would be honoured if you mother had any suggestions to offer me. You know she's probably the most passionate fashionista I have ever met in my life and I'm not ashamed to say that she inspires me a lot. But to be honest with you Louis. I did not come back to Boston for the business." Was it too early to confess the true reason of her return to the US? Was Louis even willing to listen to what she had to say? He might have given her his blessing to study in europe but she had broken her heart.
"Then why did you? New-York is the best place when you're in the fashion business, not to mention that your parents are in europe and you don't have any family in the states." Louis who was sitting at the end of his long chair was turning his back on Emily. He could not bring himself to look at her, not if she was going to tell him she had fallen in love with an American.
"I do Louis. I have you." Seven years and he still sounded heart broken. Was she naive to believe that they could rebuild their relationship despite all the pain she had caused? Despite knowing how stubborn and proud Louis was Emily slowly moved towards him and gently reached for his hand hoping he would not push her away.
"Right. You do realise that I live in New-York?" That was the stupidest thing he had ever heard. If she wanted to be close to him why move to Boston and not New-York where he actually lived?
"Yes I do. I know you moved to New-York after you finished studying at BCU because you thought it was best for your career but I know you well enough to know that you won't stay there for ever. You know I travelled to New-York many times over the years and I have never been able to draw a single sketch there. I know it's completely insane since it's the world capital of fashion but New-York does not inspire me what so ever and if I want to successfully launch my brand here I need to be in a place that inspires and motivates me you know?" Emily was gently stroking the top of Louis' hand with her thumb and could feel him shaking. Had she made a mistake by coming here? Was she causing more pain than good?
"I know exactly how you feel. Boston is home. Actually I also decided to move back to Boston. " Apart from Maura Louis hadn't told anyone about his decision but somehow felt compeled to share it with Emily. The two of them were artists and found their inspiration into the same things, family, friends, familiar places and he could understand that she would not consider living and working in a place that was not familiar to her, that would not make her feel safe.
"You did?" No Emily, do not jump on his lap and kiss him. Yes, he's moving back to Boston as well but it doesn't mean he's available. He just lost his grand parents and the most important thing for him is to mourn their loss and learn to live without them. What ever your feelings are you need to keep then under control and stop assuming that what was happening between the two of you a life time ago is still there.
"Yes. I never considered living in New-York as a definitive thing. I was planning moving back here after the release of my new novel but losing my grand parents precipitated things you know." Way to go Louis. A few minutes ago you wanted to keep your distance and now you're confiding in her regarding things your mother doesn't even know yet and you're basically making yourself available to her. Way to play hard to get!
"Yes, I know how close you are to your family and that you need to be here. Besides now that you're a best seller author I'm sure your publisher doesn't need you in New-York, right?" Would it be stupid or childish for her to confess that she read every single of his novel several times and even watch every single of his tv interviews but never went to any of his book signing because she knew she was lacking courage to face him?
"No he doesn't. At first I moved there to find a publisher and after being rejected many times I finally found one willing to take a chance with me. It wasn't an easy bet because there are so many excellent crime writers out there and it's hard to bring something new to the business. I think most of the publishers that rejected me weren't willing to invest money on someone that was so young. Luckily for me my current publisher was wiling to take that chance but to the condition that I stayed in New-York and work closely with one of his editors. It was obviously highly beneficial because my first novel was an immediate success. Now that I have a solid readers base and that I have matured as a writer I think he trusts me to be as meticulous and committed to my writing here as I was in New-York."
"Well I'm glad that you're home, that we both are." For the next hour the two former best friends caught up, Emily's head shyly resting on Louis' shoulder. The conversation was shy and neither of them was willing to talk about the future yet. All they wanted was to get each other up to speed about their lives, jobs and families hoping that slowly that bound that had been severed when Emily left could be repaired.
Around noon Emily finally left to meet one of his investors and Louis found himself alone, his head pounding and his heart hamerring his chest. Was that love?or was it nostalgia?Does time matter or could they pretend that Emily never left and give each other a second chance? Right now Louis wasn't willing or ready to consider that eventuality yet. He was still in shock after his grand parents' death and knew he was to vulnerable to make such an important decision and was hoping Emily would understand and be his friend.
"So how did it go?" As impolite as it was Maura had been spying on them from her bedroom window and had rushed to her son's side as soon as she saw that Emily was leaving. She was still in shock after hearing her mother's last wishes and needed a distraction.
"Well, considering we haven't seen each other since we graduated form high school, I'd say it went rather well mom."
"Is she still in London?" Nice and easy Maura. Do not turn into your mother in law and put your nose where it doesn't belong. Let him come to you for advice, do not push him.
"Actually no. Her clothing line is doing to well in Europe that she's going to launch it here in the states." Wait for it, wait for it, she's gonna squeal as soon as she finds out that her favorite young designer is launching a line in the states.
"OH MY GOD? I have been waiting for this for years! Now I'm going to have the opportunity to buy her clothes here. I hope she opens a boutique in Boston." Remember Maura, this is not about fashion but about your heart broken son, so focus!
"I'm sure she will." Here we go, if she continues likes that she's gonna start hyperventilate. Well at least she's not prying and asking you question about her, knowing her it probably won't last so you should prepare your escape.
"Well I'm glad that she's here. Emily and you had been friends since kindergarten all the way through high school. I know how painful it was for you to see her leave to study in europe. Actually you mother and I were afraid that you might decide to follow her." Looking back at the past seven years Maura felt guilty not having pushed him to follow her in Europe. They knew that their feelings went beyond friendship but thought he was too young to commit himself to someone and most importantly they could not bare the thought of losing him. Now looking back at his sadness Maura realised that the pain of seeing him leave would have been less destructive and that they had been selfish and she was hoping to make up for her mistake.
"I considered it but I couldn't leave you guys behind. It literally broke my heart when she left and now she's back and I…" You know your mother Louis, she won't give up until you finally confide in her. She has been respectful of you wishes over the past seven years but she now deserves to know the extends of your feelings for Emily and the truth about what happened the night before she flew to London.
"You don't know how to behave with her?"
"Yes. I mean we told ourselves that if we were really meant to be together destiny would find a way to bring us back together but it's been seven years and we're two adults now so I don't know if we still have much in common." Louis sighed slightly shrugging his shoulders.
"I think destiny is clearly giving you a sign here. I'm glad that she's back, after losing both your grand parents I'm sure that you will find comfort in having your best friend close." Using the word best friend again Maura was hoping that he would finally confessed his true feelings.
"You don't understand mom. She was more than my best friend, I was in love with her. I…I lost my virginity to her." Sex. Despite having a very open relationship with his parents where sex was never a taboo Louis never shared the details of his sexual life with his mothers. He sure asked them for advice when he was dating a new girl but never on how to perform. When it came to sex he was as shy as Jane used to be when she first starting dating Maura and always focused on trying to find a deep emotional connection rather than a physical attraction.
"Oh, you never told me that but now I certainly understand your visits to London." Yes Maura, your baby is not a virgin anymore, but come on, he's not only very handsome, smart and successful but he's also twenty four and you could not possibly think he was still a virgin. Wait a minute? Did he actually keep this information for himself all those years? How could he? Yes he was always secretive but you're his mother, you share everything with him.
"I'm so sorry for not telling you. We actually never formally dated but as you know we spent the summer together after our graduation together and just the night before she took her plane I confessed my feelings for her and we made love. We both knew that long distance relationships rarely worked and we weren't willing to put each other through that painful experience and risk compromising our studying. I didn't tell you because I knew that being the romantic that you are you would have told me to move to London to be with her but I knew I could never bring myself to leave you guys." Was is the truth? Has Louis kept this information to himself all those years because he did not want to be pushed to leave his family or because he was scared of what being in a serious relationship at his age implied?
"Oh Louis, of course we would have tried to convince you to follow her to Europe. You know I love you more than anything in this world and so do your mother and sisters and we've only ever wanted you to be happy and it pains me to see that you missed the chance to be with the woman you loved because of us." Guilt was a powerful thing but so was second chances and Maura was counting on Louis' big heart
"Not because of you, for you and I don't regret staying. I just regret not telling her that I loved her before, maybe things would have been different. Maybe she would have not made that choice or maybe I would have had more time to consider following her…"
"I guess we'll never know but what's in the past is in the past and you guys have a second chance and you better not waste it this time or I might disown you." Wether he liked it or not Louis was not passing on this second chance, Maura would make sure of that.
"Considering the amount of money I have made with my books and what grand pa and grand ma left me I think it's safe to say that I should be fine." People say that money and success change people, well it hasn't change Louis and the millions he had earned with his books never managed to fill up hole Emily left when she flew to London.
"You're funny but more seriously, what are you planning on doing?"
"I don't know. She told me she was still single and I could feel that connection you know…How crazy is that?" Yep, Louis was definitely Jane and Maura's son, as romantic and loyal as they were.
"It's not crazy at all. I know that if you mother had left and I had met her years later I would have felt that our connection was still intact." The difference is that Maura would have not let seven years passed without going after Jane, but Louis didn't need to know that. He was only a kid back there but now he was an adult in charge of his own destiny.
"You can't compare us to you and ma, you're like the best couple in the entire world." People usually say that children instinctively reproduce their parents' relationship and that's why women raised in abusive homes tend to be attracted to abusive men. In Louis' case his model was literally the strongest couple he knew and comparing a teenage fling to it was inappropriate.
"I think we were very lucky to find each other but things weren't as easy as they might seem. We had to fight hard and for a long time before we were finally willing and ready to be together and after that it still took us a long time to successfully make our relationship work. The best thing in life never come easily Louis and love is definitely worth fighting for." For thirty five years Maura had focused solely on her career and had neglected her personal life and even if she had no regret because it had lead her to Jane she did not want Louis to pass on this second chance.
"But it was worth it right?"
"You and your sisters are the best proof that it was completely worth it and looking back I don't regret not coming forward with my feelings sooner because if I had you wouldn't be here. I think that everything happens for a reason Louis, just don't try to find it and enjoy her okay?" Maura replied as she gently pulled him again her chest.
"I will mom,thanks."
"You're welcome. So do you guys have any plans?"
"Yes, I invited her to go out with me tonight. Do you think Ma would let be borrow grand pa's old mustang. I confessed my feelings for her and we kissed for the first time in that car and I thought she might like to take a ride in it." A trip down memory land? Nice way to take things slow Louis.
"Wait. Did you have sexual intercourse at the back of that car?" Maura replied, slight disgust on her face.
"Of course not. I said we kissed in this car but afterwards I drove here because I knew grand pa and grand ma weren't here and because we wanted privacy for what were about to do you know?" Now that was embarrassing...Bringing your girlfriend to your grand parents' house to have sex with her because you didn't want your thirteen year old sister to barge in and caught you in the act was certainly the smartest thing to do but how embarrassing to confess it to your mother.
"I'm glad to hear that. No girl wants to lose her virginity at the back of a car, especially an old mustang." Please God, don't let him question her about the day she lost her virginity. Hearing about the day her son became a man was one thing but reciprocating the confession was another.
"I agree. Ma and you always taught me to respect women and that's what I did. We were both so nervous that I thought being in a familiar place would help but that's all I'm going to say about it. A gentleman never kisses and tell."
"I see your mother and I raised you well son. Anyway, I think it's a wonderful idea but considering your mother only allowed me to drive her car half a dozen times in the thirty years that I have known, I'm pretty sure it's gonna cost you." Her son, the child she had seen grow up was not a man and seemed to be decided to take things into his own hands to take a risk with Emily. Maybe he wasn't as stubborn and proud as Jane was after all.
"I'll tell her it's to impress a girl and I'm sure she'll say yes." Louis smiled feeling slightly more relaxed after sharing his doubts and fears with his mother.
"You're probably right."
Hey guys and girls! I hope you enjoyed that chapter. I tried to apply my new writing style to it but I don't know if I was that successful...
I know you must think it's completely out of character for Louis to lie to Maura about his short but intense affair with Emily but when you think about it he's right : if he had told her Maura would have tried to convince him to move to London to be with her.
I'm planning on developing Louis and Emily's story line and also to give the twins a bigger spot in this story while still focusing on Maura's grief which is the main story line of this story.
I know, that's a lot of story lines to cover, but was you know my imagination knows no limits :).
As always feedback, critics and ideas are always welcome.
