Feels Like Home

Chapter 2

Growing up with the mighty Toph Beifong for a mother was nothing short of interesting.

Things were broken more often than whole. Toph liked to practice her earth bending on everything, including Lin's bedroom door, which had been put back on its hinges more times than Lin could remember.

They moved to the newly founded Republic City when Lin was four, and every day until the evening Toph worked with the Police Force, leaving Lin to spend time with her Aunty Katara and Uncle Aang on Air Temple Island.

Besides the earth bending, broken things, and police work, however, there was the blindness.

Lin was five when she was finally told. She was at Air Temple Island again, and Tenzin and his siblings were making paintings and then showing them off to their mommy, who cooed over them. Lin wanted to do the same, so she set to work.

"That's a very nice picture, Lin. Is that a badgermole?" inquired her Aunt Katara with a kind smile.

"Yep!" said Lin, swinging her short legs. "It's for my mommy. Do you think she'll like it?"

Katara paused, swallowed. She looked suddenly very sad, but she smiled and said "I'm sure she'll love it." That was good enough for Lin, who grinned broadly.

It wasn't that Lin was unobservant or unintelligent, it was just that her mother was an incredibly good actor. She had all the mannerisms of a seeing person, minus the sight. And Lin, at such a young, impressionable age, hadn't taken much notice of her mother's clouded eyes.

When Toph arrived to pick Lin up, the tiny Beifong squealed excitedly.

"Mommy! Mommy!" she cried, running at the tall woman.

"Hello, my little Badgermole," chuckled Toph, lifting Lin into her arms. She then swung her back onto the floor. "Mommy, look what I drew you!" Lin presented the drawing.

There was suddenly a heavy silence that oppressed the room. Katara put a hand to her mouth and Lin's mother… she looked stricken.

Lin lowered the drawing, feeling uncertain. "Mommy? Did… Did I do something wrong?" This seemed to snap Toph out of her stupor, and she knelt, fiercely grabbing her daughter by the shoulders.

"Look at my face." Lin did. Toph (pretended to) gaze intently at her. "You did nothing wrong. Okay?"

"Okay," whispered Lin, but she didn't believe it. Something was wrong here.

Toph seemed satisfied, however, because she grabbed Lin's face in both hands and planted a firm kiss to the top of her head before rising to her feet. Everything seemed to go back to normal, snapping back into place. "Once again, thanks for keeping an eye on her, Sugar Queen." Toph grinned and lightly punched Katara's arm.

"And again, no need to thank me, Toph. You two are family." And then Katara smiled and put her hand on Toph's shoulder reassuringly. Lin's mother seemed to sag then, shoulders slumping, eyes turning downcast. Lin swore she saw tears. Toph trembled, and Katara remained silent, putting her other hand to the earth bender's face gently in comfort. Toph came forward and dropped her head on Katara's shoulder. The waterbender embraced her, one hand on the back of her head, the other stroking her back.

"Lin," said Katara softly, "sweetie. Go play with Tenzin. Your mommy and I need to talk."

Lin did what she was told. Well, sort of. She left the room, but remained just outside the door to listen. She had never seen her mother act so vulnerable, and it made her heart sink.

"You need to tell her."

"She'll think so much less of me."

"You're insane to think that. How could she, knowing how well you do despite it? You're amazing, Toph, and she'll feel the same. Besides, she loves you to death."

"You think so?"

"I know."

"Things will be…. Different."

"Nonsense."

There was a pause in which all Lin could hear was rustling fabric. They were hugging again.

"It's five years today." Lin didn't know what this referred to. Obviously, today was some kind of anniversary. But… of what?

A sad sigh. "I know, honey."

There were a few sniffles and then, "All right, all right, enough of this mushy crap. I gotta get my kid home."

Katara laughed. "Okay."

Lin ran then. She didn't want to get caught. She went outside to where Tenzin was and watched him play with an air bending toy. Her mother came out shortly after.

"C'mon, kiddo. Time to skidaddle." Lin hurried over to her.

"Take care, Toph."

"You too, Sugar Queen."

"Bye, Lin," Katara waved.

"Bye, Aunty Katara."

Things were quiet when they arrived home. Toph hadn't really spoken the entire trip home. Lin was worried, but she pushed it down because she didn't want to upset her mother.

Lin sat on the bed and watched as her mother removed her uniform. Toph allowed her to remove and hold the badge. It felt heavy and cold. The metal suit seemed to split down the seams, then peeled away from Toph's body and rearranged itself on the stand in her closet. Lin tried to hand back the badge, but Toph closed her daughter's hand around it.

"Why don't you keep an eye on it for me?"

Lin perked up in excitement. "Okay!"

The badge sat securely on her bureau as Lin readied for a bath. Her mother offered to wash her hair.

Lin played with the suds in the water while her mother lathered the shampoo in her hands. She then worked it gently through Lin's long, curling hair.

"Mommy," murmured Lin when the silence became too much, "is there something you want to tell me?"

Toph did not waver, filling a cup with water and whispering "Tip your head back, Baby." Lin did as she was told, and warm water soaked her hair, her mother's fingers stroking through the tangles.

"Yes, Linny, there is something I want to tell you."

She didn't go about it right away, instead falling silent again, rinsing Lin's hair and moving on to conditioner. Lin noticed that it took her a moment to find the bottle, jamming her hand on the wall the tub was pushed up against before finding it on the edge.

Lin waited patiently. Her mother would speak up when she felt comfortable. Lin could wait.

It was when Lin got out of the tub and sat on a stool wrapped in a towel while her mother towel dried her hair that Toph spoke.

"I know you were eavesdropping earlier. You're not very sneaky." A small smile graced the older earth bender's lips. Lin felt her face heat up.

"I'm sorry, mommy. Are you mad?"

"Look at my face. I'm not mad. I could never be mad at you. Got it?"

"Got it," murmured Lin.

"Lin… do you see anything different when you look at my face?"

Lin tilted her head.

"Different from what, mommy?"

Toph sighed. "Well…. Different from other peoples' faces. Anything?"

Lin pondered. "Well…. Your eyes." Toph's eyebrows furrowed with a deep sadness.

"What about my eyes, Linny?" she urged.

"Well, they're really pretty. Way prettier than any other eyes I've saw."

It took several moments for her mother to contain herself after that. She brought the towel-clad child into her arms and shook. "Mommy?" inquired Lin, frightened. Toph pulled away.

"Linny. My little Badgermole. My eyes are different because I can't see like you do. Not with my eyes."

Lin felt her own eyes widen. "You can't see?" she squeaked.

"Nope," whispered Toph, nose sounding clogged.

"But… why?"

"That's how I was born."

Lin couldn't believe it. "You've never been able to see?" she asked, feeling tears well in her eyes.

"Not like you. I see with my earth bending. The badgermoles taught me when I was little like you." Toph smiled sadly and stroked Lin's face.

"So you don't know what colors are?" Her mother shook her head.

It struck Lin then. "Do you know what I look like?"

Toph remained silent, head bowed as if in shame.

Lin couldn't believe she'd been tricked for so long. "Why didn't you tell me?" she whimpered, tears spilling forth.

"I didn't want you to think less of me," whispered Toph.

Lin left then to dress and collect her thoughts. It wasn't that she was upset with her mother. Sure, she was a little disappointed that her mother had kept this a secret from her, but it was more of a shame in herself for not noticing before. What kind of daughter was she?

It boggled her mind, though. Her mother couldn't see, but she was certainly not disabled. She'd learned to see through the earth. If anything, that made her mother even more amazing than she already was. It only made Lin sad to think that her mother would never see colors.

It was with these thoughts that Lin padded down the hall to her mother's room, where she found the older Beifong curled on her side atop the covers of her bed, her back to the door. She looked much smaller than usual.

Lin climbed onto the bed beside her, and her mother rolled over. "Are you upset, Linny?"

"Look at my face," said Lin, bringing Toph's hands to her face. "I'm not upset."