On to Reason number two! Yaysie!
Standard Disclaimer applied.
Doctor's Warning: CRACKITY-CRACK-CRACK-CRACK!
X.X
2.) Hide Pain's pain medicine, preferably the Tylenol.
It had all started out as a dare - and then went to hell in a hand basket. With bright ribbons on the handle...
So, one of Kakuzu's partners, a particularly nondescript young man whose only faults were an abundance of cheerfulness and a great sense of fun (think: the missing-nin version of Maito Guy, who, much to Kisame's chagrin, even forgets Kisame's name on a regular basis. And on a completely unrelated subject, he mistook Deidara for a girl the first time he met him. Truly, his lifespan was a ticking time bomb.), had been dared (by Kisame) to hide and dispose of Pain's trusty best friend, Tylenol.
So, the unfortunate man (let's call him George) snuck into Pain's office and stole the multiple bottles of Tylenol stashed within the second drawer down on the left hand side - and beat a hasty retreat.
Now, to dispose of the evidence: he lit the bottles on fire and danced around it. Cackling. In the yard. The front yard, to be precise.
Now, dear readers, fire is rather distinctive. If you were on fire, you wouldn't be wondering, 'Oh, gee, what's happening to me? Is this a form of budding?'
No. You'd know damn well that you were on fire. And, say, if you saw a fire in your yard, you'd probably go investigate. Also, if you wanted to dispose of something via fire, you'd probably choose a discreet location and be on stand-by with a bucket of water in case everything goes south. Fire. Word, bitches.
...
So, thus, we can now infer that another of George's faults was stupidity. It didn't help his chances of survival in the least.
And that was how Pain came upon him. And boy, was he was ma-ad.
Well, at first, he appeared to be bitingly calm. "What," he said sleekly, "pray tell, are you doing?"
George peered up at the leader, an insane glint in his eyes. "I am sacrificing the Great Evil that is Tylenol to the Great God, Advil!"
A large vein started throbbing on Pain's forehead. His right eye started to twitch furiously and he strode forward and grabbed George's collar, hoisting him several feet into the air. "You. Do. Not. Sacrifice. The. Tylenol."
So Pain delivered an old-fashioned beat down to poor, unfortunate George and then sacrificed him to the Greater God, Tylenol, The Merciless.
Kakuzu just watched on from his bedroom window with an air of detached amusement as his deranged boss burnt his one-time partner to a crisp, and then carried on with his life.
'That makes six. When will they learn?' he mused to himself silently. 'Well, never, most likely. Anyway, I don't need a partner - don't even want one. Even if they did find someone, that someone wouldn't last a day.'
Famous last words.
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11-26-11: minor grammatical errors fixed.
