Chapter Three

Renji woke up feeling like his head was in a vice. He'd known he was drinking too much but somehow he just felt uninhibited that night. Part of it, he knew, was happiness that his captain had not only come to see him play, but come to party afterwards. It was so unusual that he'd gone a bit overboard.

But he'd had a dream that night. A sweet dream, but it still made him sad. He'd dreamt that he felt Kuchiki's hand on his face. And then the softest of kisses on his lips. It had felt so real that it almost made him cry. Even now, thinking about it made his chest ache. But Kira was right. He was only fooling himself by entertaining hopes. It was strange the way Kuchiki Taichou had been acting lately, but he was sure it didn't mean anything.

The next day, Renji started seeing a taste of what was in store for him if he really did want to forget about Kuchiki Taichou. For no reason he could see, his captain started avoiding him. At work, everything seemed normal, except for the fact that he wouldn't meet his eye line, and seemed to stay as far apart physically as possible. But if they met on the street Kuchiki would not even glance his way. Renji tried to reconcile his relief from him not having to be the one to create distance between them, with the near constant pain in his chest that came from Kuchiki Taichou avoiding him. Still, this was all for the best, wasn't it?

On a free afternoon, Renji was hanging around the 9th division barracks with Hisagi and Kira. The later had actually fallen asleep beneath a tree while the other two were chatting.

"So…" Hisagi said softly. "Abarai, you're…close with Matsumoto, right?"

Renji suppressed a snort of laughter. Everyone was well aware of Hisagi's little crush on Matsumoto Rangiku, including, Renji suspected, the person herself. "I don't think I'm much closer to her than you are. Why?"

Hisagi blushed a little bit. "No reason, I just noticed that her birthday was coming up. I was wanting to get her something but…I don't have the slightest idea what she would like."

Renji considered. "That's a good question. I know she likes…dried persimmons."

"Oh," Hisagi said, interestedly.

"But that's maybe a sore subject, since Ichimaru Taichou liked them too."

"Oh" he replied, with disappointment. "Right. Ichimaru Taichou. So, Abarai, you can be honest, what do you think was going on between those two?"

Renji tried to contain his reaction. "I'm pretty sure nothing, except that they were childhood friends. I heard something about Ichimaru Taichou having an affair with someone else, anyway."

"Oh really? Who?"

Renji sweated a little. "Don't know. Doesn't matter. Anyway, I think you're good. I still wouldn't mention him though."

"Like I would mention a romantic rival. Speaking of which, how are things with Kuchiki Taichou?"

Renji wilted. "Please don't bring it up. I had just forgotten."

"Something happen?"

"He's just started ignoring me. It was weird enough that he was being so nice to me recently, but I have to say I prefer that to this."

"Kira thinks that's better for you, though, if he doesn't hang around you so much."

Renji sighed. "I'm sure it is."

Hisagi dealt his friend an affectionate smirk. "You've got it rough."

"Don't want to hear it from you, though."

Kira pretended he hadn't heard any of this.

The next day, Byakuya's morning was interrupted by an unwelcome knock on the door of his office. He could sense through the door whose reiatsu it was, and sighed internally. "Come in," he said, though in his mind it sounded more like 'fuck off'.

Kira stepped into his office with a rather offensive smile, with no warmth in it. "So. I see you followed my advice."

Byakuya barely glanced up from his paperwork. "Is there something I can do for you, Kira Fukutaichou?" he said tersely.

"No. I just came to thank you. So thanks." With that, it looked like Kira was about to leave.

Byakuya flicked an unpleasant look his way. "For what?"

Kira suddenly grew serious. He stopped turning toward the door and faced Byakuya again. "I believe I remember telling you my feelings about him."

"Jesus," Byakuya muttered.

"And what you're doing is not only helping Renji to forget a bad experience," Byakuya's chest tightened a little, "but also to help him to move on. I hope that that means he can move on to someone who loves him."

"Like you?"

Kira's face lost some of its calmness. "Yes, Kuchiki Taichou. And not someone like me. Me. I'm the one who's there for him right now. There was no one there for me when I had a similar experience, and I know how bad it can be. I truly want to help him. It seems you've finally made the decision to do the same. So I thank you for that."

"Kira," Byakuya said, losing his patience. "Don't ever speak to me on this topic again. If you have no other business then please get out."

Kira didn't seem pleased to hear this. "What's got your feathers ruffled, Kuchiki Taichou?"

"This endless conversation."

"Does it upset you that Abarai might forget his feelings for you?"

"Don't make me sick. Although I can't approve of your relationship with him, there's nothing I want more than for him to forget about his feelings."

Byakuya had sensed that Kira's previous question had been half joking. But at his honest reply, Kira's expression grew dark. "Taichou. You seem to be misunderstanding something. You seem to think that if you lie to yourself, you can fool me too. How long do you think that's going to work?"

Byakuya glared up at the vice captain. "I don't know what you're implying."

"Shall I make it clear for you? You're pretending Abarai is nothing more than a subordinate, and that losing his affection means nothing to you."

"Why would I need to pretend?" Byakuya muttered. "It's the truth."

Kira's fists tightened. "You do realize that you're not only insulting my intelligence, but you're also insulting someone I love in the process."

Another glare. "Kira Fukutaichou. If you continue to press me I will tell you exactly what you want to hear. And then what? What will you do if I tell you I won't let you have him? I believe you're forgetting that I still have all the power in this strange situation. Not only by rank, but by merit of the fact that the one he loves is still me. Not you. Did you forget that?"

"It's because I didn't forget that I need to tell you, you could be ruining his life!" Kira shouted, slamming his palms against Byakuya's desk. "I love him! And whatever your reasons are for wanting to possess him, I'm absolutely certain they're more selfish than that."

Byakuya shot to his feet, staring down the vice captain. "Whatever my reasons are, they are not remotely any of your concern. What I do with my subordinates is my choice. What are you going to do about it, Kira?"

The vice captain glared at him for about three seconds. Then…

WHAM.

Byakuya reeled from the punch that connected solidly with his jaw. He was paralytic with rage, both incredulous that Kira had punched a captain, and that he had to be punched by someone he hated. Well, that was not going to stand.

WHAM.

Byakuya's fist collided sharply with Kira's cheek, the other man did even try to block. Byakuya grabbed Kira collar and slammed him against the desk. Kira was stunned for a moment, then head-butted Byakuya in the stomach. Byakuya doubled over, coughing.

Then Kira grabbed him by the shoulder and punched him again, twice. Byakuya blocked the third one and sent Kira flying with a palm to the chest. Kira crashed into the wall, making a sizable dent. He lay there for a moment, and a slim trail of blood trickled down his forehead. Then he was up and running at Byakuya at full speed.

Just as Byakuya caught Kira's full momentum with his chest, the door to the office burst open, and Renji, along with several other seated officers, rushed in.

"Taichou!" Renji cried as he entered. "We heard shouts…"

And then he took in the scene. Byakuya was sitting on the ground, hunched over one knee as he staved off the pain from Kira's shoulder to his chest, and Kira was on all fours, panting.

"What the hell is going on here?" Renji demanded.

After things settled down, and Kira and Byakuya both agreed not to mention the incident to avoid disciplinary measures, Renji sat down with the two of them. They sat in Byakuya's office, Renji sitting across from the two of them with his arms folded and a confused but disapproving expression on his face. Kira and Byakuya both looked as far away from each other as they could, though with their numerous injuries, then simply looked like children who'd been taken to the principal's office for fighting.

"So what you're saying is…everything's fine?" Renji repeated, glancing from one of them to the other.

Neither replied at first, but Kira eventually said, "Yes."

"Taichou?"

Sigh. "Yes."

Renji sighed, looking down at the floor. "You expect me to just leave it at that? What the hell was so important that you two couldn't control yourselves?"

"You know, I really think you should ask Kuchiki Taichou," Kira said, suddenly using a bright tone of voice. "Right, Taichou?"

Byakuya held back his rage, and said nothing.

"Taichou?" Renji asked, curiously.

"Yes, Kuchiki Taichou," Kira said, softly but poisonously. "Tell us what happened. What made the Kuchiki Byakuya lose his cool."

"You," Byakuya muttered, glaring at him.

"Taichou? What does that mean?" Renji wondered, confused by their exchange.

Byakuya sighed and rubbed the crease between his eyebrows. "Kira Fukutaichou. Would you mind going back to your barracks? Or perhaps to the fourth division?"

Kira gave a superior look, although he didn't quiet smile. "I'm not that hurt. I can't speak for you, Taichou." But nevertheless, with that, he got up and slowly left the office. On his way out, he said, "Abarai, I'll talk to you later."

"Sure," Renji replied, still confused.

Byakuya glared after him for a moment before he sighed and put his head in his hand.

"Taichou, what's wrong?" Renji murmured, leaning closer.

"Nothing. I must have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed," Byakuya said, deflecting his question.

Renji watched him silently for a long time. Then he said something Byakuya was not expecting. "Taichou…I wanted to say, thank you for what you are trying to do. Kira thinks that if we spend less time together it'll be easier…and I guess you figured that out too…but…" Renji's head fell forward a little as he rested his elbows on his knees, avoiding eye contact. "Can you please stop ignoring me?"

Byakuya felt a twinge in his chest, but said nothing.

"I…don't mean to make you uncomfortable. Of course if this way is better for you, then don't worry about it. But…it's even more painful when you're ignoring me. I expected it at first, but since you still stayed by me even after I confessed, I assumed it didn't really bother you all that much. So…if you can bear it, please let me try to forget on my own. Kira's helping me too."

Byakuya's eyebrow twitched. "I seem to remember you saying you wouldn't do those things with that man anymore."

Renji gasped. "No! Not like that, I mean as a friend. He has some experience with one-sided love, so it's helpful to talk to him."

Byakuya felt anger surging inside him, and for one reason or another his usual barrier between things he felt and things he said seemed to be down. "So it's that easy for you, then?" he muttered.

To his surprise, Renji was silent for a moment. "What?" he said, softly.

"To think that you could so easily forget someone you say you 'love'. I never imagined you to be so frivolous."

Renji didn't speak for many long seconds. Eventually Byakuya glanced up at him; he was shocked to see, not remorse as he was expecting, but anger. "What are you saying?" Renji said softly. "You think I put you through all of this over some crush? I don't want to forget my feelings, Taichou. But I know that the one who'll be most bothered by them is you. I'll probably never forget you completely. At the moment it's taking every ounce of my resolve not to hold you in my arms and tell you that I love you. If you're looking for some proof of my love, you can have it."

Byakuya sat frozen in place. The more he listened, the more his body felt hot and thrilled. Somehow all of his misgivings and irritation drifted to the back of his mind; he felt both nervous and happy to hear all of this. He didn't stop to think at that moment that, in terms of propriety, his reaction should have been the opposite.

He didn't even notice as Renji knelt down in front of him and took his face in his hands. He realized too late as Renji's lips met his own.

His eyes widened. Those coarse lips that he had stolen once before were now kissing him purposefully. His vice captain's fingers wove through his hair, stealing his breath away. It took him several moments to realize that he had to stop this, and soon.

Before he could, Renji's lips parted from his own. He remained close for a few heavy breaths. "Please believe me, Taichou. I can take whatever action you want me to. The one thing I can't do is change my feelings."

Byakuya felt heat rising to his cheeks. He knew he had to say something, had to take action before the situation got out of control. But his body was not so cooperative.

He felt Renji's gaze before he noticed himself what was causing his vice captain surprise.

He glanced down. Shit. He was hard.

Renji leapt backward. "T-taichou…?" he murmured, weakly.

Byakuya could not have been more mortified. How could he talk his way out of this one?

"I understand," he said, his mind scrambling, though he was careful to keep it from his expression. "Then, I have a solution."

"Solution?" Renji choked out. He was apparently still reeling from Byakuya's body's reaction.

Byakuya rose, and forcibly shoved Renji against the nearest wall. His vice captain stared at him with eyes like saucers. "I believe there is too much tension in this whole situation. As a result both Kira Fukutaichou and myself have acted inappropriately. Therefore I suggest we relieve some of that tension."

Renji was trembling lightly underneath his hands. "Relieve the…I don't understand…"

By way of an answer, Byakuya grabbed the back of Renji's neck and promptly shoved his tongue down his throat. Renji cried out against his lips, but the limit of his protests was a hand on Byakuya's forearm, weakly asking him to stop. Byakuya dove into the kiss with abandon. He had no idea until he did it how much his body had been craving this. The heat and roughness of Renji's body drove his desire to a point where it was almost uncomfortable. Over and over he licked and sucked Renji's lips and tongue, forcing out hesitant moans from his vice captain that only excited him further.

Reluctantly, he drew away, licking away a trail of saliva from the corner of his mouth. "Like this," he said, as if that explained everything.

Renji stood in total shock. His lips were still moist, his cheeks red hot and his eyes glazed over with surprise and lust. He looked like he wanted to say something, but words failed him.

"Well then," Byakuya said, pretending to be unaffected by all of this. "It's up to you. If you think you can handle this, then come to my quarters tonight. Otherwise the ignoring will continue. And if you see Kira again in that time, I can't guarantee I won't kill him."

Byakuya turned sharply and strode from the room. He tried to imagine that his heart was not pounding in his ears.

Renji had a hard time convincing himself that this was not all a dream. Had his captain really kissed him? Had he gotten hard from his touch? And was he seriously suggesting that they relieve tension by fucking?

Without being able to reconcile any of these thoughts, that evening, his feet carried him without his awareness to the door of Kuchiki Taichou's quarters. There, he found it hard to take any further action. His hands were trembling, his heart pounding, his cheeks flushed even though nothing had happened yet. What if it really had been a dream? Or just his imagination? How could he explain this?

After several minutes of indecision, the door opened from the inside. There stood Kuchiki Byakuya. Rather than his shihakushou, he was wearing a lounge kimono of a rich purple patterned with white camellias. His hair was free of its kenseikan and hung loose about his shoulders. Renji could not have imagined a more beautiful sight.

Kuchiki had a foul expression on his face. "Coming to my quarters means coming inside. If you continue to stand there, I'll assume you don't have the nerve. Come in, or go away."

Renji stood for a moment, truly unsure what the right course was. Kira had warned him about this. That sex with the person you love was most painful when you knew your feelings would not be returned. There was also the possibility that Kuchiki Taichou was merely testing him, and that if he agreed to this arrangement he would lose his position as vice captain. And despite all of this…

Renji took a step forward.

Once he was inside, Byakuya closed the door behind them. He stared at Renji for a few long moments. "I am not approving of your feelings," he said, firmly. "This is merely a way to resolve the tension between us. If it never happens again, I expect no complaints from you."

Renji gazed at his captain for a moment, and then nodded. The next instant, Kuchiki Taichou captured his mouth with a kiss. Renji made a noise of surprise. He could barely believe what was happening. He was so stunned that he didn't even enjoy it.

Byakuya broke the kiss and stared down expressionlessly at Renji. "If you love me, then keep your attention on me. Don't let another man touch you again."

"B-but…"

Again, Byakuya forced his lips against Renji's. This time, Renji nearly fainted, the sensation was so intense. As soon as the reality that Byakuya was kissing him came to him, he began to moan and lean into his captain's touch. His body trembled and became hot everywhere Byakuya touched him.

Byakuya tore his lips away. "This is what you want, isn't it?"

Renji felt he would go mad with desire. "Taichou…"

Byakuya's expression intensified. He grabbed Renji's obi, causing the other man to gasp. In moments, he untied Renji's as well as he own, and together grasped their twin erections.

"Ahhh…" Renji moaned, his back arching. Apart from anything else, he couldn't believe that his captain had gotten hard just as easily as he had. "Tai…chou!"

Byakuya spit into his hand, a gesture so vulgar and out of character that it made Renji's cock twitch, and worked their erections together. Renji was so overcome that all he could do was convulse with desire, grasping Byakuya's sleeves and twitching in pleasure with every stroke of his captain's fingers. His gaze was locked on Byakuya's hand and cock, watching the interaction of their members with uncontrollable desire.

Unlike the times with Kira, where he moaned and often moved, Renji felt frozen with pleasure. He yearned for Byakuya to touch him more, more, to drown him in his touch. He still could not guarantee that this was not all some dream. With that sudden fear in his mind, he touched Byakuya's chest to stop him.

"Nn?" Byakuya murmured, annoyed.

"Taichou…please don't be disgusted with me, but…I want Taichou…inside me…"

Byakuya's eyes widened. Renji could hardly see a change in his expression, but suddenly his captain's cock began to harden and drip precum. Renji was so entranced looking at it that he felt himself harden even more, and didn't notice Byakuya's troubled expression. He grasped Renji's chin and forced him to look at him. "I don't know how," he confessed.

Renji blushed, nearly shaking with desire, somehow both embarrassed and thrilled that Byakuya didn't know how sex between men worked. He nodded and took Byakuya's hand, guiding him to the bed.

He shrugged off the top half of his kimono. With his ass facing Byakuya, he saturated his two fingers inside his mouth, and then stretched to reach them back to his entrance. Though he had only done this once with Kira, he instinctively knew where to be gentle, and how to prepare himself for what he wanted Byakuya to do to him. "I…have to prepare first…" he murmured, though he was beginning to accidentally pleasure himself.

For a time, Byakuya watched him silently. Then, without warning, he added another finger inside of Renji. In shock, Renji removed his own and fell forward onto his elbows. Undeterred, Byakuya thrust his finger in and out, much more dexterously than Renji could have done himself.

"So it goes in here?" Byakuya asked, although it may have been rhetorical.

Either way, Renji was now suffused in passion, and could only reply in gasps. Even though Byakuya's finger had not hit that special place yet, he felt so good imagining Byakuya inside him that he was almost coming just from this. His hands stretched and flexed, burying themselves in the sheets.

Byakuya inserted two more fingers and nearly drove Renji mad with sensation before he finally decided the other man was ready. Then, with more gentleness than Renji had expected, he slid his length inside of him.

Renji gasped, overcome. For a moment, neither he or Byakuya moved, and it was then that Renji began to hear the faintly labored breathing above him. He turned his head to see Byakuya's face. Byakuya was flushed, his eyes moist with lust, lips parted, and breathing labored. His kimono was sliding off his shoulders, his muscular chest rising and falling heavily. And what's more, Renji could tell that he was holding back the urge to fuck him senseless.

"Ahhh…Taichou…please, move…" Renji encouraged him, though he felt like dying of embarrassment at his own lasciviousness.

"This doesn't hurt you?" Byakuya inquired, although his voice still sounded completely normal.

"I don't care…Taichou…please…"

"Huh. I'll give you what you want then."

Renji gasped as his captain's cock drove into him. Byakuya's was bigger than Kira's, reaching even further inside him and dragging out even more pleasure. Byakuya stopped hiding his panting, and pounded Renji's ass with all his strength. Both men began to cry out in pleasure, unable to stop the wild meeting of their bodies.

Renji was so close to coming, but he wanted his captain to come first. And then something happened that made it impossible for him to hold back the wave of pleasure.

"Ren…ji…"

Renji's body could no longer withstand the tide. "Ah…Byakuya…Taichou!" And then his white cum sprayed the sheets beneath his hips. He kept on coming even after that, riding wave after wave of feeling.

Byakuya grunted and thrust inside Renji several more times before Renji felt warmth pool inside his gut. His cock twitched, wanting to come yet again but unable. They remained this way, gasping for air, and then Byakuya leaned down and wrapped his arms around Renji's body. He said nothing, just held him. Renji felt for sure he must be dreaming. He felt so happy he could die.

"Taichou…" he murmured. "I love you…"

"Whatever," Byakuya replied, and Renji merely laughed. Apparently it wasn't a dream. "I suppose, if you want to do things like this occasionally, I don't mind. As long as it's with me and not Kira."

Renji had never imagined he would feel such happiness.