A/N: A million thanks to Caranath (lol it was a message, not a massage... it was a creepy book but not child-predator creepy), ILoveMom, Miss Sleuth, Me, LazyPanther (can't get anything past you ;P), lala (the trap was that the Real Joe didn't know anything about the mission, and Nancy tricked the fake Joe into revealing himself by talking about it), the. vulture, Shenice, Tigress2929 (Thank you-I love knowing which jokes actually worked lol), and supernaturalsam (I just couldn't leave you hanging too long!). You guys are all wonderful, and I mean that.

On with the show!


"Don't." said the real Frank, an undercurrent of anger lacing his voice. And something else too.

Fear.

"Let him go." Frank II ordered. "No false moves."

Defeated, Frank released the Joe imposter—Joe II—and slowly raised his hands to shoulder level in a non-threatening manner. His eyes locked on Nancy's and she could clearly see the helplessness he felt.

Joe II rose, scowling, and rammed a retaliatory fist into Frank's stomach. Frank grunted in pain. The real Joe was staring at his double like he'd like to kill him, but there was nothing he could do without further endangering Nancy. He kept one supportive arm wrapped around Vanessa, who was still reeling from her blow to the head, teetering unsteadily, a lump already beginning to form on her forehead.

Nancy gasped as Frank II's fingers tightened on her throat in a bruising grip. He was definitely strong enough to throttle the life out of her right here, maybe even to snap her neck. "I knew you were the fake." she choked out.

Frank II chuckled darkly. "No you didn't."

"I did." she gasped. "It wouldn't make much sense for for the fakes to draw so much attention to themselves by crashing the wedding. You could have come up with a backup plan, made the switch later tonight, or at the airport. The only ones who'd have a real motivation for stopping the wedding are the real Frank and Joe."

"Good point." Frank II said. "Although I could always make the argument that the fakes knew you would think that only the real Hardys would crash the wedding, and that's why they did it."

"We could take that train of thought in circles all day." Nancy said.

Vanessa, still holding her head, glared at Joe II. "I can't believe you creeps were going to marry us just to get some secret information."

"Well, sweetheart, I've had much worse assignments than this." Joe II said with a wink. What would before have seemed like flirting now resembled a leer. It seemed impossible now that they could have mistaken these doubles for the real Frank and Joe. They were frighteningly good actors.

"Also," Nancy spoke up quickly as she felt Frank II's fingers flex on her throat. "During the brawl in the church, Frank broke away from his fight with you to help Joe. That was another hint."

Frank II scoffed. "Yes, yes. You're very observant." She felt his hot breath on her exposed neck as he leaned forward to murmur in her ear. "It's one of the reasons he's so attracted to you. And me, too, I guess..."

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about." Nancy snarled.

"I might not be the real Frank Hardy, but I've got plenty of his memories." Frank II said. "Especially of you."

An involuntary shudder went through her. Vanessa was right—having a stranger have intimate memories of you was mortifying. Then she froze, her eyes widening, as she felt his mouth on her neck, trailing hot kisses from jawbone to shoulder blade. She began struggling against him, but it only seemed to amuse him. "Stop it." she hissed, feeling her face turn red. She couldn't bring herself to meet Frank's eyes, the real Frank, but she could practically feel the fury radiating off him.

"Such a shame you had to figure this all out." Frank II continued, removing his hand from her neck for an instant to lazily slide down one strap of her gown, exposing one shoulder. "I was looking forward to this honeymoon thing."

"You've gotta be kidding me." Joe groaned, reminding her that he was there watching, which, of course, caused Nancy to blush even more deeply. "This is officially a nightmare."

"This?" she repeated, succeeding admirably at keeping her voice steady. "This is when it became a nightmare for you." She shrugged Frank II away from her as best she could. "And you. I don't know what you think you're going to do to me here, now, but you're not going to. Your plans are ruined. Even if you kill us, you're never going to get that package."

"Yeah," Joe added. "You've just practically exposed the existence of the Lazarus clinic and announced to the entire town that there's some seriously suspicious activity going down here, and all you've got to show for it is the satisfaction of having made Aunt Gertrude faint. I hope your Assassin bosses are cool with failure."

"But I doubt they will be." Frank finished calmly, but there was a threat in his voice.

"Nancy, Nancy, Nancy..." Frank II smirked. "You think I don't have a plan B? Have you forgotten who you're dealing with?"

"Oh, really?" Nancy didn't know what the Assassins' next move would be, but she was sure she wouldn't like it. Neither Frank nor Joe was in a position to make a move, especially while she was still serving as Frank II's human shield. And even if they could make a move, the odds against them in this fight were fifty-fifty at best. Now, they were just stalling. "And this glorious backup plan is...?" she asked skeptically.

Frank II laughed out loud. "You really think I'm just going to explain everything to you now, Nancy? The old 'get the bad guy talking' trick? Joe and I invented that schtick. I've seen you use it yourself a dozen times."

"The Network isn't going to hand over that information to save four hostages." Frank warned. "Not even us."

"Good to know." said Frank II. "Well... plan C is to kill you all and continue to live out our lives as you. How does that suit you?" he looked down at Nancy, who was struggling, once again, in his arms. "And you might as well be first." he sighed. "I suppose it's no consolation to you at all that I'm not really going to enjoy this."

"You poor thing." Nancy managed to grind out as Frank II increased the pressure on her windpipe. The edges of her vision began to darken.

The door to the brides' room slammed open, and a man Nancy did not recognize stood there. He was short, balding, generally unexceptional looking... except for the Browning automatic pistol in his hands. He was flanked by Fenton Hardy, and half a dozen other men in black suits.

Startled by the sudden intrusion, Frank II eased up on Nancy's throat, just for a second. Recognizing what was potentially her last opportunity, she lifted her foot and stomped the spiked heel of her shoe into Frank II's foot. Caught off guard by the attack, his grip on her loosened enough for her to work free one elbow, which she then drove into his kidney with all the force she could muster. He doubled over and she burst free from his hold, gasping for breath, only to be caught once more... by the real Frank, who hauled her up into his arms like he never wanted to let her go.

Which was fine with her.

"It's those ones!" Vanessa was shouting, pointing at the imposters. The men in the black suits converged on the fake Hardys. Their leader approached Nancy, Vanessa, Frank, and Joe.

"Mr. Gray." Frank said, nodding at the man in grateful acknowledgment.

Understanding dawned on Nancy. "The Gray Man!" she exclaimed. She had heard Frank and Joe speak of their Network contact, but had never met him in person... somehow, she doubted many people had.

The Gray Man smiled. "Hello, boys. And you're Ms. Drew, of course. Glad to meet you." He turned to Vanessa. "Lovely to see you again, Ms. Bender."

Vanessa looked utterly lost. If she'd met Mr. Gray before, she didn't seem to remember him.

Still clutching Nancy to his side, Frank looked over to where the false Hardys were being handcuffed and frisked for weapons. Then he looked back at the Gray Man, standing with his hands in the pockets of his wrinkled gray trenchcoat, as debonair as you please. "We broke the modem before we had a chance to contact you." he said, mystified. "How did you manage to find us?"

The Gray Man's eyebrows rose. "I was invited to the wedding."

"You most definitely were not invited to the wedding." Joe said flatly.

"I ordered the fish."

"I have to say, I'm glad you came anyway." Frank spoke up quickly. "In fact, we could have used your help sooner."

The Gray Man shrugged. "I was in the church the whole time. When I saw your doubles—or rather, you—charging in, I obviously knew that we were dealing with Lazarus. I immediately stepped into the hall to make a call to headquarters and arrange for a strike team. You all walked right past me on your way to this room."

"I didn't see you there..." Nancy said, a little suspiciously.

Joe shook his head, rolling his eyes. "Forget it, Nance. Being completely unnoticeable is kind of his thing."

"So, about those guys..." Frank began, gesturing to his and Joe's doubles.

The Gray Man held up his hands. "No need to explain. It's obvious what they were doing here. We'll get them back to HQ and shake them down if we need any more details."

"But, all these witnesses..."

"Cleanup will be a bit touchy." the Gray Man agreed. "But we'll manage. We'll come up with a cover story as to why someone crashed the wedding. They used makeup to look like you, it was some sort of prank... You get the idea. Consider it taken care of."

Nancy leaned in close to Frank's ear. "See? Like it never happened." she murmured teasingly.

Fenton approached the group, looking with concern at the darkening marks on Vanessa's head and Nancy's neck. "Is everyone okay?" he asked.

"Pretty ticked off..." Joe glowered.

Vanessa ran a soothing hand over his shoulders. "We're fine." she said with a wan smile. "It could have been much worse."

Bemused, Fenton looked over the four young people, bloody, bruised, and disheveled. "Are we still having a wedding, then?"

"Yes." Joe said immediately, squeezing Vanessa's waist.

Vanessa looked up and into his eyes. "Yes." she echoed.

Nancy turned to Frank, picking up his hand and noting the scrapes, cuts and swelling from the earlier fistfight. "I don't know..." she said, her eyes sparkling. "You think you can fit a ring over those bruised knuckles, Hardy?"

Tenderly, Frank reached over and brushed back a lock of hair that had escaped her updo during the scuffle. "Yeah," he said softly. "I think I can."

"Okay then." Fenton said with a chuckle, seeing that the two couples were lost in their own worlds. "I guess I'd better go see if I can find the priest."

He left, and Frank, Nancy, Joe, and Vanessa watched as the two imposters were led out of the room, still in cuffs.

"You'd better hope Liz Webling doesn't get a picture of that for the newspaper." Vanessa teased.

"Gray Man won't let her." Joe said with certainty.

Frank II shot Nancy a knowing smirk as he passed her, and she bristled, tucking herself closer to Frank.

"So you really knew?" Frank asked her quietly. "You could tell which one was me?"

"Uhh... Well, I was eighty percent sure." Nancy confessed with a little grin.

"Eighty percent!" Frank repeated, offended.

Nancy laughed, planting a light kiss on his cheek. "Sorry, darlin', you're marrying a gambler." She ran one hand down his sleeve and then froze, her eyes widening. "Wait!" she called suddenly to the men who were guarding the doubles. "You can't take them yet!"

The group paused in the doorway. Frank II wore a lascivious grin which faded as Nancy marched up to him confidently. She gave him a wicked smile of her own.

"We need their clothes."


A few minutes later, the brides and grooms exited the room to find themselves surrounded by parents, relatives, and the wedding party.

Bess and Callie looked at the four in dismay. "Maybe it's for the best that the wedding photographer already left." Bess said with a sigh.

"I don't know, Bess," George said with a chuckle, "I think this would make an absolutely fitting wedding album."

Callie peered at the purple bump on Vanessa's forehead with concern. "Good God, Van, what happened to you?"

Vanessa touched the lump carefully. "Is it that bad? I was just going to go into the bathroom and push it back into my skull."

"I'll do you one better." Callie said. "I've got some fantastic concealer in my purse." She smiled at Nancy. "For you too, Nancy. Did you know you've got a handprint on your neck?"

"I suspected." Nancy said with a rueful laugh.

"Well, we can fix your hair up easily." Bess said, looking at the brides with a critical eye. "Dammit, Nancy, you ripped your dress! Oh, well, I can stitch that up real quick; it's salvageable. But I told you to be careful!"

Nancy looked down at the tear where her shoe had caught her hem. "I was being careful, Bess, honest." she said sheepishly.

"Speaking of being careful," Bess said, herding the wedding party together into a private corner, "If we're going to be having clones of ourselves running around, we should really have some kind of... safewords, or something, to tell each other we're not evil."

"No use." Joe said with a casual shrug. "My double actually knew all our safewords."

"Ugh," Callie said. "Thanks for sharing, Joe."

Vanessa was blushing scarlet. "Is it too late for me to choose the evil one?"

When the guests reclaimed their seats in the church and the girls reconvened in the brides' room to do the necessary makeup and wardrobe repairs, Frank reached over and flicked at Joe's collar, which was only attached to his shirt by about an inch of fabric. "Maybe you should get Bess to patch that up, too." he suggested.

"You ask her." Joe retorted. "You ripped it."

"You elbowed my bride in the face."

"You took on a secret Network mission without telling me and got our wedding crashed by doppelgangers."

"Touche." Frank said, running a hand through his hair. "Listen, Joe... I really am sorry about this. If I'd had any idea this would happen..."

"I know. It's fine." Joe clapped him on the back. "You know, I bet someday this story is going to be really hilarious. ...Someday."

"It might be if we were actually allowed to tell it." Frank pointed out, and they both laughed.

"Besides, I should have known that any trip with you and Nan was going to include a case." Joe said. "Nancy doesn't even bother going on vacation unless she can get mixed up in at least one major crime ring."

Frank snorted. "Look who's talking."

Nancy slipped out of the brides' room, freshly made up and looking radiant, and hooked her arm through Frank's. "You ready to do this wedding thing again?" she asked.

"Still the first time for me." Frank reminded her teasingly. "So try not to spoil the ending."

Nancy leaned in and gave him a deep kiss on the lips. "Whoops." she said. "Guess I gave it away."

"You guys are disgusting." Joe said with a grin.

They ignored him, instead peering through the doorway into the church. The number of guests sitting in the pews had waned dramatically over the past two hours. Their parents stood at the back, ready to restart the procession, along with Hannah Gruen and a much-revived Aunt Gertrude. Chet, Biff, and Phil had already retaken their places on the dais. Even the elderly priest had returned to finish the service.

"Sorry so many of the guests have already left." Frank said.

Vanessa joined them in the hallway and slipped her hand into Joe's. "That's alright," she said with a smile. "Everyone important is still here."


A/N: Aww, fluff and happiness. Sorry it got weirdly dark and sexy there for a minute with Evil Frank, but I remembered what kind of story I was writing and pulled myself back lol. Clearly, I've got issues.

Anyway, there's one more chapter left. Let me know what you think!