Hey guys bring u back some SasoDei! I predict lemon coming up but not in this chapter. Sorry :D Well here it is enjoy.

P.S, Just to warn u, if u thought the beginning was depressing, it will only get more depressing. There will be happy times in here but I have the entire story planned out so… :D Plus just to tell you, I love Deidara very much and it pains me to hurt him. So just cuz i hurt him in this story does not mean that I do not like Deidara.

Love,

BetterCloud5


Thank you, Danna:

The New Student

Why did I decide to do that? I don't know. It's that feeling when your body is stronger than your mind. The mind has always interested me. It never seizes to amaze me. Most people say the saying,"Mind over matter" but I feel as if my mind wasn't strong. I'm starting to collapse slowly. I'm becoming weak. Why? I don't know. Maybe I have always been weak. I don't know. For once in my life, I didn't know the answer to something.

I looked out the window of my school library. Outside, you could hear birds chirping happily. A thought crossed my mind. I want to die. I sat there, shocked. No! What am I thinking? My sister would kill to still be alive, but still, maybe if I were to leave this world, it would be easier. Some place where I can see her again. I want... to fly to her. I want her to hug me again One of the birds outside landed on the windowsill of the window I was looking out of. It stared at me as if it knew what I was thinking. It kinda looked like it was... sad. I shook off the thought, walk out of the library, and made my way to my car.

There were few students in the school because it was early in the morning. I leave home around 5:00 am so I don't have to face my mom. It's fine because I don't sleep that much at night. At the most, I get 3 to 4 hours of sleep. I usually go to sleep at 12:00 because of the darkness. I feel it eating me alive, slowly and painfully. I'm usually able to go to sleep after staring at the ceiling for a while but then I automatically wake up for no reason and there it is. The darkness. I feel it eating at me bit by bit. Then I can't go back to sleep even if I tried. I get ready for school and drive in my black Kia Optima. I go to the library to get books about art and I read until 5:30 and then I go back to my car.

I grab my gear for boxing and kendo from the trunk and head to the gym area at school. I slam the doors open and get ready to hit something. I just know that the feeling of darkness would never go away. Even now, I can feel it following me everywhere I go. I got dressed in gym shorts and a white undershirt. I went to the punching bag and started hitting and kicking it with all my strength.

"You're at it early as usual, Deidara."

I stopped and glanced at him, as he walks toward me and held out a bottle of water out toward me. Itachi Uchiha. My childhood friend. My only friend. Wait. Let me rephrase that. My only true friend.

"Thank you, un."

I gladly took it. I opened it and drank half of it in one gulp.

"How's home?"

"You know. The usual."

I could feel his red eyes pierce through my soul.

"You okay, Deidara?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

I went to my bag, grabbed a towel, and wiped my neck.

"Deidara, we have been friends for far to long. I know you don't like to share how feel with me, but if you do ever need someone to talk to, I'm here."

I smiled at him. That is why he is my only true friend. He may not seem the type but he is very caring.

"I know, un."

I took off my white undershirt, revealing my tone, skinny torso. Even though you can't tell, you could see the worry on Itachi's face. He pulled something out of his pocket, that seemed to be a granola bar, and hand it to me.

"You should eat more. I don't need you collapsing on me."

I took it and ate it in front of him to give him some form of relief. I smiled at him and started to get dress on my school uniform. After I was finished getting dress, I gathered my things and started to head to my first class.

"Thanks, Itachi, un. See you in History."


I left the gym and headed to a bathroom. I locked the door, dropped my bags on the ground, and headed for one of the stalls. I knelt over a toilet, stuck my finger up my mouth and tried to barf up the granola bar. After a couple few minutes, I succeeded. I looked down at the brown chucks of throw up in the toilet. What was I becoming? When did I become bulimic? I can't remember. It probably had to be because of my mom. At that time, I was only 12.

"Deidara, you're getting fat. How can you gain weight when you joined Kendo? That simply won't be good. You will embarrass yourself."

I looked down. I was fat. Since when did I become fat? I was as skinny as a twig.

"Deidara, look at me when I'm talking to you or do you need more discipline on your manners."

I looked up, calmly not trying to show fear or she would yell at me for that, too.

" Sorry, Mother."

"You shall start to exercise more so you don't let down your fellow teammates. Now get out of my office. I have much work to do."

I quietly but quickly exited the building and walked home which was only a few block away. I live in the rich parts of Iwagakure in a mansion that millions of people would die for. I entered the house, went to the toilet, and vomited all my food that I ate that day. I know that its bad to do this but I felt that was my only choice. I had read a lot about bulimia and knew that it was bad but I didn't care.

Ever since then, I made it a habit. I don't really care about myself anymore. I gave up on myself long time ago. When Ino died, the real me died along with her. I started to do what I needed to survive in that household. I flushed the toilet, got up, and washed my mouth in the sink.

"You do know that it's bad to purge."

I jumped at the voice coming from the figure that leaned against the wall.

"What the fuck, un? You trying to kill people with heart attacks?"

I turned off the water and dried my mouth with a paper towel.

The figure stepped out from the dim corner, revealing his blood, red hair and muddy, brown eyes.

"Well, it's better have a heart attack than to die slowly by purging."

He smirked at me and gave him my famous glare.

"Does look like I give a fuck, un? Or else I wouldn't be doing it, would I?"

I quickly grabbed my bags, unlocked the door, and left the redhead to himself. I started to head to my locker to drop off my gear and headed to English. I really don't mind English. I have sometimes thought I could become a writer but once I told my mom about it she automatically shoot it down and said I must take over the family business.

I sat down at a desk at the front and prepared myself for English. I saw more students come in right when the bell rang, beginning the class. Soon after the last bell, the teacher came in.

"Good morning, class. Today we have a new student joining us. Please make him feel welcomed. You can come in."

I was paralyzed as I saw him walk in. The redheaded guy from earlier. I felt his eyes come on me and he smirked.

"Hi. I'm Sasori Akasuna."


Well I hoped u liked it. I will update real soon. Plz feel free to leave comments or questions about this story. Until then see ya later! :D

Love,
BetterCloud5