"Right now I'm looking at you, and I can't believe you don't know o-oh…YOU DON'T KNOW YOU'RE BEAUTIFUUULLLL!" Theo sang along from the back seat of the cab.

"Shut up!" shouted the middle-aged, Japanese man driving the taxi. Lulu rolled her eyes. One hour in the back seat with the next winner of American Idol and Jackie Chan. Fantastic.

"Just turn off the radio," the strawberry-haired girl hissed, prompting the driver to bring the music to a stop. The slightly pudgy teen next to her, who was just in the middle of his Zayn Malik solo, frowned.

"Lucy Lillian Punchalower," he scolded, "how dare you turn off One Direction! Isn't that what you female type are into nowadays? Gosh…I was only trying to relate with you."

"No," Lulu countered with a glare, "that's just being stereotypical, Theo." She groaned and slammed her head against the back of the seat in front of her. "You know, this is why we never hang out."

Looking quite hurt, the boy decided to keep his mouth shut if at all possible.

"This far as I take you American children," the driver suddenly spoke, sounding annoyed. It was evident that he wanted to get rid of the two as soon as possible. "Now pay and get out of car."

"But we aren't even a mile from my house!" Lulu protested, looking back out the rear car window. She swore she could still see her house from this distance. "I demand you take us to the airport!"

"Fifty more dollas!" the driver challenged.

Theo rubbed his chin. "Seventy dollars!"

"THEO!" Lulu shouted exasperatedly.

"Eighty-five dollas!"

"Ninety!"

"Forget you all," the strawberry-haired girl muttered, exiting the taxi and dragging her duffel bag along.

"Lucy, wait!" Theo cried, hurriedly grabbing all five of his bags and getting off the vehicle. "Oh and here's for your services, mister," he added, throwing the Asian driver a ten dollar bill. "Ni hao…Kai Lan!" With that all said and done, the boy ran after his friend like a lost puppy.

"Looks like we're going to be going on foot, huh, Lulu?" he asked with a nervous laugh, finally catching up with the female.

"Honestly, I'm wondering why I'm even bothering with this idiotic trip," Lulu spat out. "You show up at my door in the dead of night, find that stupid picture, and then for some stupid reason I decided it'd be an amazing idea to go on an adventure to stop this madness as if it would create some fabulous story we could sell to the public."

"Actually, that's not a bad idea—I'll shut up now," he spoke, stopping only when Lulu gave him her usual withering stare. The teenage girl soon stopped in her tracks at the sight of a nearby bench. She sighed and took a seat, staring straight ahead of her.

"Alright, Theo, we need a plan…What the hell are we even doing?"

"Well," he started, "We were planning on paying Garrison a visit…Don't you think it'd be a good idea to consult this with your parents?"

"Do you think I'm stupid? Of course I talked with them!"


"Hey, Eloise," Lulu greeted her mother blandly as she walked in.

"For the millionth time, Lucy, you are to call me mother dearest," the older woman said through clenched teeth and narrowed eyes. "I expect nothing less from you. You know your brother—"

The teen girl just rolled her eyes and tuned her out as she poured herself a glass of orange juice.

"—and he actually has manners! Unlike you, young lady, you have no respect for your elders whatsoever!" Eloise continued on ranting even as she opened a nearby door and walked down the basement steps.

"Hello, Mrs. Punchalower!" came Theo's friendly voice.

"LULU!" came the adult's screech.

"Here we go," the freckle-faced girl muttered, taking a seat at the table to await her moody mother. In a matter of seconds, Eloise had returned with a deadly calm look on her cold face.

"Explain to me," she began icily," why there is a small, fat child in our basement."

Lulu shrugged and replied, "How am I supposed to know? Anyways…what'd you do to him?"

"I accidentally…punched my fist…in his face," the older female answered indifferently. "Look, don't say a word to your father…or the police! Got that?"

The Punchalower child found it rather difficult to contain her amused smirk. "No promises…"

"Good," she continued on in a stiff voice. "Carry on. Your father and I will be tonight for a party. Andrew will be left at your grandmother's. I hardly trust you to take care of him on your own. You, on the other hand, will stay put tonight. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal clear, Mother Dearest," Lulu mocked with a salute, heading off before she could throw another hissy fit.


"Your mom can hit really hard," Theo spoke suddenly, snapping Lulu out of her reverie. He was currently rubbing his cheek tenderly. "Remind me to never surprise your parents."

"Sure, yeah, whatever," the Rhode Island native spoke distractedly, paying little attention to her companion. "Okay, Theo, what's the plan now?"

"Well, we start by hailing another taxi—"

"Not happening."

"Okay, okay!" Theo answered, holding his hands up. "Sorry for having ideas!"

"Yeah, I'm sorry too," she replied with an eye roll.

"Alright, that is enough!" Theo suddenly cried indignantly, standing on his feet. "I have finally had enough of your abuse, Lucy Punchalower! I constantly try to be nice to you! Instead, you always insult about my fatness or use domestic violence against me! I am done being the scared woman in this friendship marriage of ours! From now on, YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN!"

Lulu stared at him with a hanging mouth. In all honesty, she wasn't impressed with his tirade, but she was certainly shocked that he even said it.

TO BASICALLY EVERYONE IN THIS GODFORSAKEN WORLD.

Well, everyone walking right past them on the busy section of the town.

She watched as he made a pitiful attempt to glare at her, picked up his bags, and stalked away around a corner. The fruity-haired girl just shook her head and waited, tapping her foot.

Just as she prophesied, the chubby young man returned; a rather sad sight. No, literally, it was sad. Not the 'great, distressing feelings of emotion' sad. It was the 'OMG, YOU ARE A PITIFUL EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN' sad.

Theo shuffled back to his only real friend, dragging his many heavy travel bags behind him. He stopped in front of her, falling to his knees and hugging her legs.

"Oh, s-sweet, L-Lulu!" he stuttered through tears. "I-I'm s-sorry!"

"Theo," she hissed, awkwardly patting his head and cringing all the while. "You are causing a scene! Now shut up!"

"Y-You are so forgiving…" he whispered gratefully, wiping his face with the hem of shirt.

"For heaven's sake, Theo, just leave me alone," Lulu muttered, gently shoving him away.

The boy sniffled, smiling cheekily up at her. "As you wish, Miss Punchalower…By the way, do you think we could get that friendly Chinese guy to drive us to the airport again?"

"I dunno about that..." Lucy Lillian Punchalower suddenly smiled at her chum. "How about sticking to the bus, okay? The nearest bus stop is about a couple of blocks—"

"Too far!"

"—and I'm sure that'll be better for us." She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Look, if you walk all those blocks, I'll sing your One Republic—"

"Direction."

"—songs with you," she added grudgingly.

"YES! Come along, Lucy!" Theo soon grabbed her arm and began dragging her along, leading a joyous cover version of 'One Thing.'

Why did Lulu do such a thing for him, you ask? Well, let's just say that, despite all they've been through, Theodore Bartholomew had become a rather close…acquaintance to her. No matter how much she'd deny it or hurt you, the girl really did care about the boy's feelings.

But if you EVER told anyone, she might just have to kill you.